"Ah, damn it!"

Kay jumped as her mother's face suddenly appeared on the screen of her phone. Couldn't she get the hint? She hadn't been answering her phone for two months. The message confirming she was fine sent every other week should suffice.

Now she wanted to freaking Facetime.

"What's wrong?" Kyle asked.

They'd just finished their physical training class at the Academy, the last one overseen by Kyle, and they were the only ones left gathering their stuff. Before her mother decided to join the equation, Kay had been pondering over the dangers of being caught making out with her instructor.

"Nothing..." She fumbled with her phone and dropped it. The distance was unfortunately not enough to break it, but enough to jog the darn thing into somehow answering the call.

"Katherine Dickens!" her mother screeched. "How dare you! Not home for Christmas, not answering your phone, not... Where are you?"

Kay continued to swear under her breath. Deep inside, she missed her mother, but the mother before she took junky Danny's side against her own daughter.

After what happened in France, she decided she no longer wanted the pressure of lying. She also didn't want to give her mother a heart attack so she hadn't changed her number. But that didn't mean she wanted to talk to her.

She raised her eyes to look at Kyle. Of course, he had no idea about her plans, about her relationship with her family.

"Sweetheart?" he whispered.

"I'm sorry. I'll handle it." With a deep breath, she picked up the phone. "Hello, Mother. Just so you know, I answered by mistake."

The affirmation silenced her for a moment. "Where are you?"

"In the gym at the Academy."

"Show me!"

Kay's hand shook. She didn't want to, not really.

"Does she know about us?" Kyle asked quietly.

"Who's there? Is anyone with you?"

Kay shook her head, so tired of all of this.

"Don't you think it's time to come clean?" Kyle's voice was at full volume this time.

The sound of his voice silenced the banshee again. Her eyes widened in shock and her mouth dropped open. Yes, Kyle was right. It was about time she came clean.

"Yes, Mom. That's Kyle. He's with me. We're back together and we've never been happier. I knew you wouldn't like it, so I stopped calling or answering. I'm so tired of your disapproval over this. Over who I am and what makes me happy."

"I don't believe you!" Cassandra said unexpectedly. "You're just trying to aggravate me. I know you've been seeing Danny. He told me so."

That was new. Danny was probably using her as an excuse to fuel his drug habit. Just imagine how much blow pretend plane tickets money could buy.

"Huh, must have missed him. I'd surprise him with a random drug test if I were his mother."

"Don't give me sass and excuses, Kathy! I want to know--" The words died in her throat when Kyle wrapped his arms around Kay's waist and placed his chin on her shoulder.

"Hi, Mom," he said with a smile.

Cassandra Dickens was finally struck dumb. Kay tried not to laugh, because it wasn't funny. She knew her mother enough to tell this was only the calm before the storm.

"Don't you dare touch my daughter! Take your hands off her now!"

"Oh, I've touched your daughter," he said with the same good humor. "In every place and in every dirty way you're probably imagining right now."

"And I really like it," Kay added. "I love Kyle, Mom, and there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it."

"You come home right now!"

"No." Kay sighed. "I'm sorry, but my life is here now."

"We are cutting off all your funds--"

She huffed. "Haven't you been checking your account balance? I haven't touched any of the money you sent me. I cut up my credit card. I have a job and it pays very well."

"If you don't come home right now, your father and I are never speaking to you again."

"Then I'm glad you're the one to make this choice and not me. I'm not breaking up with Kyle."

"I'm guessing that telling you I love her too and only want to make her happy won't change your mind about this," Kyle said.

What he'd assumed was correct. Cassandra ended the call and Kay's phone returned to the picture of her and Kyle it usually showed.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't be. This had to happen. And I'm honestly relieved it was them breaking it off and not me. I'll always know how they're doing thanks to William, and they'll always have a source if they'll care enough to ask about me." And she meant it. It hadn't been pretty, but she felt lighter for it.

"Anything I can do to make it feel better?" The grin on his face showed that what he had in mind would make both of them feel better.

"Yeah, about that... Pretty sure we could think of something."

And he did. Because if there was one person on this Earth who could make all the bad stuff go away, it was Kyle Grant.

⏳

Billy's memorial had been one strange affair, and Jessie had no idea how to feel about it. Even if the guys had played it off as nothing, she could tell it had taken its toll on them. Sam was exhausted, Jerry quiet, Kyle and Tom a lot more sarcastic than usual, while Jimmy...

Jimmy was currently sitting on the last step of the staircase, his face in his hands and she had no idea what to do about it. They needed to get to school, but they were still waiting for Sam and Tom to come down.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm a little disappointed in myself, actually," he mumbled between his fingers.

She sat next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Want to talk about it?"

"Why can't I warm up to my parents? To anyone in the family except my brothers?"

The question caught Jessie by surprise. Her first impulse was to deny it, to assure him that he did love them deep inside, but she knew better than anyone it wasn't true. Both because she knew the serum short-circuited his feelings and because she was fully aware of what it meant not to love direct family.

"Maybe you haven't had enough time yet," she said instead. "And we both know you've had a rough start in life." Her hand moved from his shoulder to the back of his head, sinking into his hair. But she knew the heel of her palm was also touching the beginning of his tattoo.

"I just strongly feel like I hate my father and that's all sorts of fucked up."

Her hand stopped the stroking motion. "Hate is a strong word, Jimmy."

"I know," he mumbled. "But I feel like I'm lying to myself if I deny it. He fucked up my entire life. The one before and the one after I found my family. And what really bugs me is that he refuses to take responsibility for what he's done." He raised his eyes to look at her and the chill in them made her shudder. "No apology. Not to me and Tom, not to Kyle."

He made a very good point. "You're right, you know. So don't beat yourself up over it. He should have apologized to you for this whole Snitch Gravel mess. And don't even get me started on Kyle."

"I mean... All these scars that could've been avoided."

She knew he had no physical scars, not yet at least, so this was all about his soul. His heart that had stopped beating until she came into his life and made him love again. She leaned her head on his shoulder, her hand tightening around the base of his neck. As curious as she was, she couldn't ask, because it was the only secret keeping hers locked up.

"I never told you why I got this tattoo," he said, quietly.

Jessie's heart skipped a beat. "You don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable," she said. Please, don't tell me.

"I want to tell you," he said instead. "You gave me everything, Jessie. I can't keep this from you anymore." All chill in his gaze was gone, replaced by a heat she knew too well.

"Look, you really don't--"

"I do. I have to do this. It's no big secret it's over another woman, one I thought I was so in love with. She gave me a place to stay, solace and was basically my rock for almost a year. A year in which I denied what I saw in her."

"And what was that?" Jessie whispered.

"Perversity. Insatiability. A love for destroying people. I..." He bit his lower lip. "It's hard to explain how little Tom and I talked back then, how there would be days when we wouldn't even see each other. He worked two jobs, I juggled three and after I was kicked out of the home for turning eighteen, it became even harder. We always checked on each other, asked about school, but that was about it. I never even got to introduce him to Izzy."

Oh God, she could totally see where this was going. What better way to destroy someone than use the person they loved the most?

"What did she do to him?" she whispered.

He stared for a second, shocked that she'd understood. "God, I love you so much. It's like you can read my mind. She got to him. She seduced him. I guess he was lucky she overestimated her powers and let him know who she really was before they went all the way. Tom took it so hard. He... I had to pull him off the edge of the school."

Bile rose to Jessie's mouth and she scrunched her nose in disgust. "That's awful."

"It was. Something I'd never want to go through again, honestly. Tom luckily met Angie a few weeks later and it seemed to take his mind off the whole thing. I festered in it a lot longer. Our breakup wasn't pretty either. Not with her claiming I was getting butthurt over nothing."

"That's nothing to her?"

"I think nothing could ever touch her, really. A true psychopath and I was too blinded by hormones to see it."

"Did she ever tell you why she did it?"

"Yeah. She thought she could arrange a threesome with the two of us. Fucking twisted."

Jessie couldn't agree more. "No wonder you had trust issues."

"Not really. I fell for you so hard it was like that entire part of my life was erased. That's why I didn't want to tell you about it. I felt that sludge doesn't belong in my life with you."

She grinned, though her heart ached. She felt exactly the same way, like her past sludge didn't belong in this beautiful new life she had with him. "I'm glad you told me, though."

He put his hand on her face and leaned his forehead against hers. "I don't want there to be any secrets between us. Because I know you don't judge me, just like I'll never judge you."

Come on, tell him. You can do it. Tears filled her eyes. She couldn't do it. He said he didn't judge her because he didn't know. And even if he wouldn't, it would still ruin everything. She couldn't. Her past would just have to stay buried in that closet until it rotted away.

So she just nodded like a hypocrite and was more than happy once Sam and Tom made their way down the stairs.

He had come clean. She chose to remain shrouded in shadows.

⏳

Angie found school unbearable. Even before they'd returned from France, the local papers had printed the story about the debacle at Chennonceau and another few along the lines, so they were more visible than ever. Half of her hoped the Agency had given out this reward to hide them in a midst of crazy fans. The other half was convinced they were just making fun of them.

Fortunately, it was over for the day. And as soon as Tom, Sam and Jessie joined her, she could get the hell out of there. As she waited, she focused on the picture of Billy on the notice board. There were candles and flowers at the base, the school commemorating the colleague they'd had for such a short time.

"Still better than that stupid memorial," she mumbled under her breath. At least people at school seemed to care.

People kept walking past her, giving her fleeting looks, and she'd never felt smaller. In a previous life, she'd roomed up with a pimp and did everything by herself. Now, she found it hard to breathe without her friends. Her dependency on them was a little frightening, but she'd moved from problems regarding money to problems regarding how much more strain her mind and body could take.

Surviving was easy when no one was actively trying to kill you. Money was a lot more manageable than PTSD. Being knocked out, Tom getting shot right in front of her, everyone she cared about nearly dying. Sam in a coma... She needed a break she knew she could never have. Because even now, after the last jewel was retrieved, they knew it was far from over.

More jewels? More Snitch Gravel? And would it all ever end? Would anything even stop unless Snitch Gravel died? Maybe Freider would end up doing the dirty work and eliminate the plague he'd brought upon them. Angie used to love the adventure, but now she just felt tired.

Tired of hurting, tired of death. Her eyes rested on Billy again.

"Hey, ready to go?"

Tom fortunately showed up and distracted her from her gloom.

"More than ready."

"You okay?" He tilted his head and raised his sunglasses above his head. Even if he'd given up on them mostly, he still wore them in school as a sign of rebellion against always being stared at.

She just hummed, unsure of what to say. Even if she didn't want to lie, she couldn't exactly pinpoint what bothered her.

"Need to get away?" he asked.

That she could nod to. But her eyes couldn't leave Billy's smiling face. Tom glanced over his shoulder and his mouth twisted in a pain filled grimace. He wrapped his arms around her and leaned his chin on the top of her head.

She hugged him back, fighting the tears that threatened to overcome her every time she even considered that Billy might actually be dead.

"You truly believe he's still alive, don't you?" she mumbled into his chest.

"Yes. But that doesn't mean I don't miss him every single day."

"Why wouldn't he call then?"

"I wouldn't either. People are still looking for him."

The bitterness in his tone had her squeezing him tighter. Tom was hurting a lot more than he was showing because that's how he handled hardship. He walked it off.

"It's getting so hard to survive."

"I don't want to survive, Angie. I'm sick of surviving. I want to live."

She wanted to live, too. And he had always been the one to make her feel alive. So she took his face in her hands and kissed him. He kissed her back at once, tightening his hold on her, running his hands up and down her back.

"You know, we'll have the apartment all to ourselves tonight," he whispered when they broke apart. "Unusually. We can stay in for once."

Her entire body stiffened because she knew that tone. It was true, she loved spending time with him, to be alone with him, but she was also glad they didn't get to do it much. Because every time they did, things got out of hand.

It was so easy to lose herself in him, in the heat of his body and the freedom it offered her. But when she did, she felt guilty afterwards, like she was doing something wrong. And she could tell. Tell he was ready for so much more.

"Angie?"

"I was thinking... Could we just go out and see a movie or something?"

"I was thinking we'd see one at home."

"You know we don't actually pay attention to the movie when we watch it at home."

Tom grinned and tightened his hold around her. "Not my fault you're so distracting."

So was he. Because at some point he really had been absorbed by the movie. And all she could think about then was how to make him stop ignoring her. It had ended up with one of the closest calls, because the moment she'd finally caught his attention, it was hard to stop him.

"I just..." Angie sighed. "I don't feel comfortable."

Tom let her go and stepped back, surprise on his face. "Comfortable with what?"

"I feel like you're sort of..." Ah man, she was breaking his heart, she could feel it, but she needed to be selfish about this. "Pressuring me."

His shoulders slumped and the surprise turned into a mild look of disgust. Of disappointment. And it broke her heart.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, his voice low and even. "I thought I was reading you right. It's okay. I'll back off."

Ah crap. Mister extreme was back with his two gears. "I don't want you to stay away from me. Don't be a baby."

Tom just pouted, and didn't answer, his arms crossed over his chest.

She rolled his eyes. "Seriously, you're going to make me feel bad about not wanting to go all the way yet?"

"Of course not. If you're not ready, you're not ready. And there's no way I'm going to push you into this." He sighed and lowered his arms. "I just thought we were on the same page so this feels a bit like a punch in the gut."

"We are on the same page!" Because he never did more than she was willing to reciprocate. And it wasn't really his fault that her mind didn't agree with what her body wanted.

"No, we're not. And I need to take a step back. I just..." He bit his lip in a very rare sign of hesitation. "I don't think anything is ever going to be planned between us. I haven't been thinking about it or testing to see how far you would go. I always thought we were beyond that. Spontaneous, natural. No pressure, no discomfort. No awkwardness."

This was very awkward and she regretted opening her big mouth. Because he was right. He never pushed her. It was her own damn fault for being unable to draw lines and taking it out on him was unfair. This only made her want to prove him wrong.

"Come on." She took his hand and led him towards the exit.

"No." He stopped her and grabbed her shoulders. "I'm not coming over tonight."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't think we should be alone for a while. At least until your impulse to prove me wrong goes away."

"Tom..."

He shook his head. "I'm not doing this Angie. Not when I know you'd regret it. I'm not upset with you. I just... I just wish you'd be more honest with yourself sometimes."

His words slapped her into silence. In their relationship, she always thought she was the cerebral one, reigning in crazy Tom and his impulsiveness. But then there were moments like this when she was back being that stupid little girl unable to handle her own feelings and he proved he had better control than she gave him credit for.

It hurt to admit it, but he was right. She needed to figure out what she wanted from him and own up to it.

And as surprising as it was and as painful to her ego, it was him calling the shots in every way.

⏳

As much as Christine insisted that it was stupid, Sam couldn't get over it. He'd tried to delay getting into this conversation with her for as long as possible, but when she broached it, it became impossible.

"Come on, Sam, why are you making such a big deal out of this?" Christine asked, rolling her eyes, as Sam slammed his locker door shut. "You can't be good at everything."

"This is something I'd rather not suck at," he mumbled.

"You'll get the hang of it eventually," she said, her voice filled with amusement. "After all, practice makes perfect."

He so didn't feel like practicing on her. All he wanted was for her to drop the damn subject already and... Just leave him alone for a while.

Instead, she huffed with annoyance. "Really Sam? You're going to get mad at me for being honest with you? So what if you're bad at kissing? You'll get better at it. It's not like you have a whole ton of experience. You're not sloppy or bitey or anything. It can be fixed."

He gritted his teeth. "Can't we just drop it? And while where at it, can't you just admit that your timing to tell me that sucked?"

"How was I supposed to know you'd fall in a coma right after? I said I was sorry about that, didn't I? This isn't about me, it's about your refusal to admit you can be objectively bad at something."

He turned to her, eyes wide with shock. "Objectively? Can someone actually be objectively bad at kissing?" Hole was getting pretty deep and Christine was whistling while she worked.

"Of course they can. Right, Lisa?"

Sam jumped and turned around. With her ninja skills, Lisa had showed up next to him and was placing her books inside her locker which was right next to Sam's.

"Um, sorry?" She pulled her earbuds out. "I wasn't listening to your conversation."

"You've kissed your fair share of guys, haven't you?" Christine insisted, apparently her goal for the day being to embarrass Sam in front of people he cared about.

Lisa's eyes narrowed. "I've gone out with a few people. Why?"

"Can't someone just be objectively bad at kissing?"

Sam wished Lisa would tell Christine to shove it, but instead she frowned as if seriously considering the issue.

"Unless they drool into your mouth or bite you or something, I think the rest is pretty fair game."

Sam felt a little relieved because he was sure he didn't fall under any of those categories. Christine just rolled her eyes, obviously unsatisfied with Lisa's help.

"Wait," she said. "Where are you going with this?" By the look she gave Sam, it was obvious she suspected what had stemmed the weird questions.

And at that moment, something inside Sam seemed to crack. Like a switch being flipped from his normal self to that person who'd crazily attacked Snitch Gravel with a confidence he didn't usually possess, to that someone who was done being everyone's doormat.

"Are you saying Sam is objectively bad?" Lisa asked.

"He is at starting it. He's decent on picking up. But he won't accept that there are things in this world he's not straight A at." Christine's answer had a hint of exasperation and air of complicity that were  misplaced.

She'd read Lisa wrong. So wrong. Inexperienced Sam was sure he was reading her right and he was more than willing to play along and teach Christine a lesson.

"You know," Lisa said casually. "There is a scientific method to prove you right."

"Really?" Christine looked amused. "Like what?"

Lisa's blue eyes shifted from her to Sam, a look of mischief in them he hadn't seen in a long time. "Kiss me," she said.

Christine laughed behind him, unaware of the danger. She choked on it the moment Sam did.

And he did it properly, wrapping his arms around Lisa, holding her against him, and kissing her like he'd always imagined he'd kiss the girl he was in love with. He'd always been too scared to try on Christine precisely because of her experience and her judgement.

Lisa was comfortable. Lisa was his friend. Lisa was a really good kisser. She put her hands on his face, then sunk them in his hair, kissing him back with an intensity that made him dizzy.

When they broke apart, she pressed her forehead against his, her breathing heavy.

"Break up with her," she whispered.

"I can't," he whispered back. "I'm in love with her."

"And I'm in love with you. You can do better."

The words broke his heart as what he'd been trying to deny for years finally came out. He shouldn't have done this. And not because of Christine who was still struck dumb, but because he never wanted to play with Lisa's feelings.

"I'm so sorry, Liss," he mumbled, hugging her tighter. "I love you so much, but as a friend. As my best friend."

She let out a hollow laugh and pulled away from him. "Not even that, because Angie obviously stole my spot."

"That's not true--"

"I can't do this, Sam," she said. "I can't keep pretending that everything is alright. You've been going out with her for over six months now and I haven't gotten over you. I think we shouldn't hang out anymore."

"Ah, crap." He wanted to protest against it, ask her to stay, tell her how much she meant to him. But it wouldn't be fair towards her. It would only make it harder for her to do what she felt was right. "Just know that the only reason I'm not begging you to change your mind is because I respect your choice and I don't want to make it harder for you."

She nodded because she understood. She always had, and after he came out of the coma, she'd been the best support anyone could ever ask for. It felt unfair that he couldn't fall in love with her, but breaking up with Christine wouldn't fix that.

"I wish it could be different," he said. "But I would never dream of lying to you or leading you on."

"I wish I would've come clean the moment I fell in love with you," she said, wiping her eyes. "But I was so scared I'd ruin our friendship. Oh well, you snooze, you lose." Her eyes flitted behind him, to Christine. "Well, something finally shut you up. For the record, he's not objectively bad. He's objectively perfect and you're an idiot if you can't see that. And I swear that if you ever hurt him, I'll make sure you never come anywhere close to him again." And she flipped her hair and walked away.

Sam watched her go, his heart breaking, wishing she were still in his life. Wishing she wasn't in love with him. Wishing Christine loved him as much as Lisa seemed to.

When he turned to her, he felt even worse. Christine's eyes were filled with tears, but these were different for some reason. Honest, confused... Hurt.

"I can't believe you did that right in front of me," she whispered, two lone drops sliding down her cheeks.

"If I did it behind your back, it would've been cheating," he said, reasonably.

"Don't try to logic your way out of this one," she said between gritted teeth. "How could you do something like that to me?"

"For science. Just wanted to prove something to myself."

"Oh, really?" Sarcasm dripped from her voice as she wiped away her tears. "And what did you learn from your little experiment?"

"That I can do this without being afraid I'm doing it wrong."

And before she could ask, he walked to her, wrapped one arm around her waist, dipped her and kissed her hard. At first there was a little resistance, but it took seconds from her hands to go from his chest to the back of his head, from her pushing him away to pulling him in.

It finally felt like it was supposed to. Better than his dream with Angie, better than what had just happened with Lisa. Because finally, after six months of relationship, he was in charge for once.

"I'm sorry I've hurt you," he whispered the moment they broke apart.

"Shhh," she whispered and kissed him again.

He liked this. The way she felt in his arms, the way she coiled around him. It finally felt like it was supposed to.

"Just as an FYI, if you ever do something like that again, I'll murder you in your sleep," she said, the moment they surfaced for air again.

"Not planning to. Unless you want some scientific proof over inconsequential crap again."

"You're mean. I like you mean." Christine bit her lower lip. "I'm sorry about Lisa. I know she was your friend."

"Thanks. I hope she'll be fine. She deserves it."

Christine nodded in agreement.

Lisa still was his friend and forever will be, even if they wouldn't be hanging out anymore. Anyway, they had a few months left until graduation. And life was weird. Sam might never get to graduate. But he was going to think about his future and treat it as a sure thing. He wasn't dead yet, and as long as there was still one last breath in his lungs, he'd pretend everything was okay.