Jimmy sat on the cold tiled floor, his back leaning against the wall. His gaze was lost somewhere beyond white walls and neon lights as he tried to manage himself just a little.

He couldn't. The moment he and Christine had stepped on the Agency helicopters, some good-willed doctor had sunk a needle into his neck. Whatever had been in that syringe had knocked him out and fried his senses. The turmoil, anger and terror danced inside him, without an outlet.

Well, except for... His eyes drifted towards the one fist shaped dent in the wall. It was a bad idea to destroy hospital property, so he'd run down to the nearest convenience store and returned with a pack of cigarettes. It was still unopened in his back pocket because, as nervous and in need for stress relief as he was, he couldn't forget when and why he'd quit in the first place.

Cigarettes were toxic, just like his relationship with Izzy had been. He hadn't seen it then, he'd thought they were in love, that he loved her. After Jessie, he now knew it was nothing but lust and infatuation. This was love. And he was seconds away from losing it.

No one had passed by his spot and asked what he was doing there. The nurses' station on this floor was also empty and Jimmy had no idea where to go, who to ask. And it was killing him. The numbness caused by the drugs had also dulled his reactions, leaving his body in a weird state of toxic limbo.

All he knew was that Sam was in surgery. And if he were completely honest, Jimmy was grateful that he was alive. He'd seen Sam's face, seen him pass out. There was some major damage there and he had a hard time computing that Snitch Gravel had done that with his own hands.

They'd been so stupid, so naive, so proud of always managing to grab the jewel and escape with their lives. They could do this, fool Snitch Gravel and escape every time. Bullshit. The only reason they were alive was because Snitch Gravel let them be. He could send someone over right now to shoot them.

His muscles tensed at the thought. Maybe shoot him and Christine since the others were most likely with one foot in the grave. And Billy... Jimmy shut his eyes tightly, trying not to think about that now. Herrison had assured him they'd start searching, but Jimmy's trust in him and the agency was at an all time low at the moment. He only cared about the jewel. Taking it out of Christine's hand was the first thing he did.

A door opened somewhere around the corner and the sound of Christmas carols drifted from downstairs, reminding him that there was such a thing as Christmas and normal people waiting to go home and be with their families instead of care for half-dead tourists.

The door fortunately closed and the sound of normalcy disappeared. Jimmy needed this tight little hell to function at the moment. He needed the anger and the doubt to numb out the pain. Calming down would let the fear and panic back in. Would escalate the agony inside him.

His hands went to his back pocket and pulled out the pack of cigarettes.

"You smoke?"

Jimmy dropped the pack in surprise and raised his eyes. Kyle stood just a few feet away, leaning one forearm against the wall, a look of confusion on his face. He was pale and seemed a little less confident in his movements, but otherwise, there was no scratch on him.

Jimmy jumped to his feet and rushed to hug him. Kyle cringed in pain the moment he touched him, but Jimmy couldn't help it. The hug was short though and Kyle allowed it.

"I thought you were dead," Jimmy said, pulling away.

"I was almost dead. Cut it really close this time." Kyle shifted his weight and winced. "Can we sit?"

"Can you lean?"

Kyle nodded and Jimmy helped him to the floor before retaking his place next to him.

"The bullet proof vest saved my life," Kyle said, looking up at the ceiling. If I hadn't been wearing it, the blade would've gone through my lung. This way, it's just a little scratched."

Jimmy shuddered at the realization of how close he'd cut it. He hadn't thought it was that bad since Kyle had actually stood and shot at Snitch Gravel. "You woke up though."

"Snowflake serum," Kyle mumbled. "The doctor couldn't believe it. I can't believe it either. It's the first time I've ever missed a target completely."

"You saved his life, you know," Jimmy whispered.

Kyle just sighed and winced again. "Did I? What do you know about the others?"

"Christine is alright and Sam is in surgery," Jimmy said his hands tightening around the pack of cigarettes again. "And that's it."

"Poor kid."

They both fell silent. Jimmy gazed at the wall without really seeing it. He was still panicky and slightly nauseous, but a small slither of relief was making its way through it. He hadn't realized how scared he'd been that Kyle could be dead. His big brother, the person he could share his burden with.

"I'm so glad that you're okay," he breathed.

Kyle shook his head. "I was so stupid. I could have avoided all this, but I panicked. After Billy fell, when I saw that guy heading for Kay, I couldn't think straight anymore." He banged his fist against the wall, but it had little effect. "I should have faced that goon and disarmed him, not let him stab me in the back."

"Wow, Kyle, you're human. You make mistakes. Shocking."

"Great time and place to start, though." He faltered, the sarcasm being replaced by the same look of nausea that was probably on Jimmy's face as well. "You don't know anything about Kay, do you?"

"No." Jimmy sighed. He didn't know anything about anyone. All the explosions had made it hard to assess just how fucked things were.

Kyle just hummed and Jimmy studied him, wondering what was going on inside him, if this numbness was the result of the serum and Kyle was just as trapped inside his own head. Or maybe it was that he and Kay had gone to a whole different level.

"Does it feel different? The worry I mean?" he asked.

Kyle frowned as though considering his question carefully. "Not really. I'm unfortunately starting to get used to this feeling. For Kay, yes, it's a bit different, because I'm finally aware of all I have to lose. Damn, I'm turning into a pansy."

"No, you're not. Just normal. You were a freak before, clearly," Jimmy assured him and returned to staring at the wall.

His hands started shaking again. Why wasn't anyone coming to tell them what was going on? This insecurity was more tormenting than anything he had ever lived through. He stood and started pacing, his fingers twisting the pack of cigarettes around.

A door opened down the hall and a nurse made her way to the abandoned station. Jimmy charged after her and bumped into the tall desk.

"Please miss, could you tell me what's going on?" he pleaded.

The nurse threw him an annoyed glance as she shuffled through her papers.

"I do not know what you are talking about," she finally said, her accent thick. "The doctors will give you all the information when they come out." She found the papers she needed and hurried away.

Jimmy rushed after her, bypassed her and jogged backwards. "I just want to know about Jessie. This tall, long curly orange hair, green eyes." His tone was so desperate it was embarrassing.

It stopped the nurse, though, and her annoyance morphed into pity. "I remember her. She is in surgery now."

His arms fell limp by his sides, and he made no move to stop the nurse from leaving. It felt like all the air had disappeared from the world. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't lose her.

"Jimmy," Kyle said quietly.

He hadn't even noticed he'd reached Kyle again while chasing the nurse.

"She's in surgery, Kyle." His voice was barely audible. "I had no idea it was that bad. She didn't let me look, said it was nothing, that she was alright."

"Typical Jessie," Kyle said, his voice broken. "She'll be alright. She's always been strong and stubborn. She won't give up."

Jimmy's panic was eased slightly by his brother's tone. He wasn't alone in this. Kyle loved Jessie, too. She was his best friend just like he was hers. If anything happened to her, it would hurt him almost just as much.

He was so done with the pain, with this sense of uselessness. He had to be able to do something, anything! He finally cracked open the small cardboard box and took out a cigarette. He put it in his mouth, lit it and took in a deep drag, exhaling the smoke. The familiarity of the action calmed him down, brought him back to a time and place with less complications.

"I didn't know you smoked," Kyle mumbled.

"I quit two years ago," he said, taking another deep drag and blowing out a perfect smoke ring. He still had the knack for party tricks. Izzy used to love it.

"You quit two years ago?" Kyle asked in disbelief. "When did you start?"

When he'd started dating her. "About three years ago. Stupid, macho, teenage stuff." He looked at the cigarette, at the thin line of smoke coming from it. "I said I wouldn't do this anymore, but I think it's the only thing except for morphine that can calm me down a bit now."

"Stupid macho teenage stuff," Kyle said blankly.

Jimmy finished his cigarette and threw the bud with in a nearby trashcan. He returned to staring at the wall, feeling the tiniest bit calmer.

"What other stupid stuff did you do? Drugs?" Kyle asked all of a sudden.

Jimmy actually laughed, though it seemed to tear his insides. "Never touched that shit." Even if Izzy suggested ecstasy once. "I wasn't that stupid. I did start driving at fifteen though. Don't tell me you didn't do any crazy stuff yourself when you were a young confident prick."

Kyle smirked. "I'm totally clean except for illegal street racing."

"Illegal street racing? Why am I not surprised?" Jimmy said amused, but once he turned back to the wall, the smile slipped off his face. It felt wrong.

"Why'd you quit so fast?" Kyle asked

"The reason I took it up disappeared."

"Chick thing?"

"Yeah, chick thing. I told you it was stupid, macho, teenage stuff." Jimmy didn't want to think about it anymore. Things were toxic enough without thoughts of Izzy. "I wish I knew how Jessie was."

"Tell me about it. I don't even know what happened to everyone," Kyle mumbled, for the first time showing how frustrated he really was.

Jimmy's sympathy was at an all time low, but Kyle deserved he made the effort to speak about it. "Shortly, you got stabbed in the back, Tina was knocked unconscious when they started throwing grenades, Jerry probably broke his leg and was knocked out by a flying bench, Tom was shot and knocked out by another explosion..." He took in a huge breath. "Kay was knocked out by an explosion, Angie by a goon, Sam was beaten into a pulp by Snitch Gravel and Jessie..." He choked. "Someone threw a knife at her and almost sliced her open."

The thought sent him into mild fibrillation again, so he took out another cigarette.

"I don't think you're allowed to smoke here."

"I know I'm not," he answered, pointing upwards towards the 'no smoking' sign right above their heads. "I would go outside, but I can't leave. Not until I have news."

Kyle nodded in agreement and watched Jimmy blowing smoke rings. The task eased his nerves even if not by much, but the bitter taste the tobacco left on his tongue reminded him why he'd been glad he quit.

"Does that shit really calm you down?" Kyle asked.

"Not really. And don't even think about it. If you've never smoked, it will only make you choke and probably open your wound. It's not worth it. Nicotine is a weak analgesic." He looked at the cigarette in his hand. "I guess it's more the feeling that I'm doing something I shouldn't that calms me down."

"That's fucked up logic right there."

"Yeah, but it's better than shooting people. That would have been my second choice," Jimmy answered, throwing the bud away.

"Kyle, you're okay!"

They both turned to the end of the corridor from where Jerry headed towards them, walking clumsily, sustained by crutches. Jimmy stood in an instant and went over to helped him reach the nearest set of orange plastic chairs. Kyle scrambled his way to his feet too and walked to them, his movements still heavy. Jerry put his crutches on another chair and grabbed Kyle the moment he reached them.

"Don't pull." Kyle sat next to him with difficulty. "I'm obviously living and breathing which is enough for now. What about you? Do you know anything about the others?"

"My leg is broken, but it will heal, and my other wounds are superficial. I only have news about Tina. Her arm is broken and she has a mild concussion, but is otherwise okay. She became a little hysterical so they sedated her for now."

Jimmy was strangely grateful, but panic bubbled inside him. If Jerry and Tina had broken limbs and were already out and about, how bad off was Jessie? He started pacing again, trying to burn off some of the insane energy.

"Are you two okay?" Kyle asked carefully.

Jerry hesitated. Then he sighed deeply. "No."

Jimmy stopped his pacing. The word had sounded final and defeated. "No as in you'll work on it or no as in... no?"

Jerry just shook his head, and Jimmy felt even worse if possible. He could feel the pain inside Jerry on some subconscious level and it weighed him down even more. The end was sad.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kyle asked, his voice so low, it was barely there.

"No, not yet," Jerry said. "And not to you. Never to you."

"Is it my fault?"

Jimmy turned to Kyle, a little surprised by the affirmation, but the look on Jerry's face screamed that Kyle had hit the nail on the head.

"No," Jerry finally answered, though he didn't sound convinced. "It's not your fault that women find you attractive. It was just one hot mess. I thought I'd get over it, but I didn't."

"Maybe you will," Jimmy said, even if he had no idea what Jerry was talking about.

Jerry shook his head. "If nearly dying didn't do it for me, I don't think anything will."

They fell silent for a while. Jimmy wanted to hug Jerry, tell him that it will be alright, that he'll find someone else and be happy even if it felt hopeless right now. But he couldn't. The contact would break him. And he couldn't even tell how he felt about it. He'd liked Tina but had never analyzed how he felt about her and Jerry as a couple.

"How's your head?" Kyle finally asked, nodding towards the bandage around Jerry's head.

"It's alright. The doctor said I might get dizzy because they gave me some medicine to prevent further damage, but I'll be fine." Jerry dismissed the issues with a wave of his hand. "Do you know anything about the others?"

"Except that Sam and Jessie are in surgery, no," Kyle said quietly, as though he didn't want Jimmy to hear.

Jimmy heard everything and the word 'surgery' seemed to be stuck on repeat inside his head.

"What's happened to them?" Jerry asked, appropriately shocked.

"Jessie apparently got cut pretty badly and Sam was beaten into a pulp by Snitch Gravel," Kyle answered and Jerry covered his mouth with his hands in a very surprised-housewife-ish reaction.

Kyle's smirk was too short-lived for the occasion and it didn't escape Jerry.

"You're worried about Kay," he said flatly and Kyle only nodded. "She's going to be fine, you'll see." He hesitated for a second, biting his lip. "Maybe if you had restrained yourself a little..."

"You're throwing that in my face now?" The cold fury in Kyle's voice silenced Jerry immediately. "I wouldn't do it any other way."

Jerry backed off instantly. Kyle threw him another dirty look and actually stood and started pacing too, even if with a minor limp. Jimmy wanted to tell him to sit down, but he strangely appreciated the company.

"Kyle? You're okay!"

They both stopped and turned towards the end of the hall. Kay was running towards them, tears in her eyes. There was a bandage around her head and one of her arms, but she otherwise seemed unharmed. Kyle took a few steps towards her and hugged her once she threw herself in his arms.

"I thought you were dead," she muttered into his shoulder.

Kyle kissed her and spun on the spot, turning away from the rest of them. Jerry still looked in the opposite direction. Jimmy glanced towards the end of the hall again, at Angie and Tom who were coming towards them, holding hands. Both their heads were bandaged, and Tom's right arm was a sling. Except for the bandage around her head, Angie only had a few plasters on her arms, but was walking with a slight limp.

"I'm so glad you're all okay," Angie said once she and Tom reached the rest of the group.

Tom smiled, but it had no feeling behind it. He didn't have any sunglasses on and his eyes held a slight haze as if he were only half paying attention to what was going on outside his head. Jimmy wasn't sure if it was because of potential painkillers
or Sam.

Tom sat down next to Jerry and sank his forehead in his healthy hand. Jimmy looked at him questioningly, but Angie only shrugged as an answer.

"Where's Jessie?" she asked all of a sudden. She looked at him, her eyes widening in terror. "Please don't say something happened to her!"

"She's in surgery," Jimmy said for what seemed to be the millionth time.

Tom raised his face, his eyes still glazed over. Kyle and Kay broke apart as she glanced over his shoulder in shock.

"What do you mean she's in surgery?" she asked, alarmed.

Jimmy just nodded, his heart breaking all over again. If giving this sort of news was taking so much out of him, how could he say it when she... She's not going to die, you idiot.

His hands went for his pocket again, searching for temporary relief. Kyle grabbed his hand before he could find his pack.

"I think you've had enough of those for one day."

Jimmy agreed so he just started pacing like a maniac again.

"This is bad, really bad..." Tom said into his hand.

Angie sat next to him and put her hand on his healthy shoulder, but he completely ignored her.

"What's going on?" Jerry asked warily.

"Sam. He's not well at all." Tom sighed.

Jimmy stopped moving and shut his eyes. He didn't want to see this, or hear it, or feel it. Still, he couldn't bail on the rest of them. They were facing the aftermath together, singing carols on Disaster's Eve.

"Did the doctors say anything?" Kyle asked, but Tom just pointed to his head. "Oh, right... He's not well in what way? What do you feel?"

"He's tired," Tom answered on such an impersonal voice, it was worse than his actual words. "He's fighting but he's so tired."

They watched him even after he fell silent, his forehead leaned on his hand, as though he were a TV set that was about to get reception and tell them what was going on.

"What's going on? Why are you all standing around Tom? Is he alright?" Jessie asked, coming up behind them.

Jimmy whipped around so fast, he lost his footing and rammed his shoulder against the nearest wall. Jessie looked at him with wide eyes, standing, looking perfectly healthy in her purple scrubs.

"You're not in surgery?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"I was, but to assist," she answered. "They're very short staffed. I actually came to see you while you were out. I didn't know you were up."

Jimmy didn't need more. He rushed at her, put his arms under her butt to avoid hurting her side and lifted her. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she watched him with an air of surprise. She wrapped her legs around him and her hair fell, shielding them from view.

It was just the two of them and she was alive and well. He kissed her, deep and passionate, letting her know this was just the beginning. That his life was hers and he would make sure they'd spend all that was left of it together. She kissed him back, and it was all he needed.

Jerry cleared his throat. "So, except Sam and Billy, we're all accounted for?"

"I guess so," Kyle said.

Jimmy and Jessie broke apart and he couldn't believe that, despite everything, in that one moment, he was happy. Happy that they were all alive, happy that he was no longer alone.

It died the moment Tom winced and rubbed his forehead. He raised his hand before they could ask. When he raised his eyes as well, something inside him seemed to be broken.

"Sam is in a coma," he announced grimly.

❄❄❄

Managed to get another one done. I hope I did justice to the feelings involved. I'm very curious what you think. If the closing works.

Feedback is very welcomed and very needed at this point.

I would ask questions but I'm not sure what. I just want it to be realistic and proper closure after everything that happened.

Hit the star!⭐