Entry by nonbinarynovelist

Christmas is the worst day of the year.

Loud, annoying relatives, three kinds of casserole, and dumb Christmas carols that get stuck in my head for weeks. And my family isn't even religious! They just use Christmas as an opportunity to gather all of our huge family together into one house. God knows why.

I carefully park my car at the end of the driveway. The driveway's so full of the cars of various relatives that I'll have to walk on the grass to get to the front door. With a sigh, I grab the bagels and coffee from the passenger seat. Then I nudge open the car door, and step out into the frosty cold.

I stomp through the grass, partially because of the five inches of snow, and partially because I'm annoyed. I'm about to knock on the front door when I notice the glint of silver out of the corner of my eye. I look down, and spot a small, silver gift sitting at the front of the door, topped with a little bow made of red ribbon.

I crouch down to get a better look at it. Underneath the bow is a piece of paper, folded up into a little square. I place the bagels and coffee on the ground next to me, and unfold the piece of paper with my nearly numb hands.

What could it say? Will it be a message from a secret admirer, confessing their love to me? Or is the gift even for me? It could be for someone else entirely, and I just stumbled upon it accidentally.

But that doesn't stop me from unfolding the note with fumbling, nearly numb fingers, and reading the three words that are written on it.

Merry Christmas, Kai

Kai. My name. I know who this is from now. Only one person calls me by my real name.

I tuck the paper into the pocket of my coat and stand. I squint at the cars that are parked along the driveway. He had to have driven over here just now, since I was only gone for twenty minutes. That means he's almost definitely still here.

Suddenly, I hear the sound of a car door opening.

"Kai?" someone shouts.

"Justin!" I call back, and immediately run towards the sound of his voice. He appears from the tangle of cars a few moments later, brown cheeks flushed dark red with the cold.

"Do you like it?" he asks breathlessly, enveloping me in a hug. "Will it fit?"

"Huh?" I wonder aloud, confused. "Will what fit?"

He pulls back, giving me a confused look. "Did you not open the present?"

I laugh. "Nope. I got too excited over the note."

He cocks an eyebrow, and loops his arm in mine as we begin to walk over to the door. "Doesn't the note just say Merry Christmas?"

"Merry Christmas Kai," I correct him. "It's just... it feels nice to be called by my real name after they've been calling me..." I trail off, not wanting to say-- or even think --my deadname.

Justin nods, getting it. "Well, you're welcome," he says with a smile, nudging his shoulder into mine as we stop in front of the present. "You're very welcome, Kai."

I grin at him, and bend down to pick up the present. I tear off the paper like a wild animal, curious to see what's inside. It's... a cardboard box? I look at Justin questioningly.

"Open it," he says, eyes glimmering with excitement.

I pick at the tape with my fingernail, then pull open the flaps. When I see what's inside, I gasp.

"Oh my god," I whisper, pulling the binder out of the box. "How did you get this?"

"Online," he replies, shrugging like it's not a big deal. "I know you can't get one yourself, so I thought I'd get one for you."

I fling my arms around him and he laughs. "I don't even know if it's your size, don't get too excited."

"Too late," I murmur into his chest. He's easily six inches taller than me. I'm pretty short-- barely five foot three --which means that I don't pass at all. But with the binder, and my most masculine shirt? Maybe I have a shot.

"I'll finally look like a real boy," I say to Justin as I stuff the paper into the pockets of my winter jacket.

"You're already a real boy to me." I look over at Justin, who's smiling at me softly.

"You're the best," I grin, unable to control myself.

"Aw, come here." Justin holds out his arms and I fall into them again. "Do you want me to come inside with you?" he murmurs. "Because I can, if you want."

"Yes, please. You can be my personal bodyguard. Beat up everyone who says I'm not a boy."

"Whatever you say, boss," he says in a funny voice, and we both begin to laugh. And I think that, maybe, just maybe, Christmas won't be the worst day of the year this year.

---

<Winning entry of the Secret Santa Contest>