Here we see you, Lopez, and Simmons at Red Base in front of a camera and facing it.

(Y/N): "Hi I'm Agent California from Red vs Blue."

Simmons: "And I'm Simmons also from the same show."

Lopez: *In Spanish*''And Lopez too."

(Y/N): "And today we're all here to talk about holidays? Didn't you guys do a PSA on this before?"

Simmons: "You're right California, regular holidays are boring."

(Y/N): "That is literally not what I said at all."

Lopez: *in Spanish* "Welcome to my world."

Simmons: "Anyways, what we need is newer, more exciting holidays."

(Y/N): "Like what? We already have Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Oh and the other holidays like Mother's day, Father's day, Labor Day, New Years eve, Oktoberfest, and a bunch of other holidays."

Simmons: "Lame, did you know your grandparents celebrated those holidays and they're old."

(Y/N): "What?"

Lopez: *in spanish*"My grandmother is a fancy toaster."

Simmons: "I know right, you wouldn't want to wear the same clothes as your grandparents so why celebrate the same holidays?"

(Y/N): "Because it's tradition?"

Simmons: "Why yes, I do see myself as a hip and young trendsetter, thank you for saying that (Y/N)."

(Y/N): "That's literally not what said at all, again."

Lopez: *In Spanish* "Just give yourself a whole season and you're like me but in english."

Simmons: "And I know some new, edgier holidays we can celebrate instead."

(Y/N): "Dang it, I'm a sucker for holidays! Tell me about these new holidays Simmons."

Simmons: "I would be glad to tell you. First up we have National Expecting Day."

(Y/N): "Expecting what now?"

We then cut to the girls standing behind you holding pregnancy tests showing positive.

Simmons: "On National Expecting Day, anyone who forgot to use safety in bed."

(Y/N): "Oh easy one, Tucker."

Verosika: "Guess again, daddy~."

(Y/N): *realizes* "Oh... yeah..." *to Simmons* "Simmons quick, what's the next all new holiday you have?"

Simmons: "On Thanks-gimme we give people the opportunity to thank us for all the good things we do for them, which they have selfishly forgotten to be grateful for."

We then cut to Tucker walking up to Carolina with you and Verosika watching from afar.

(Y/N): "Ohh this can't end well."

Tucker: *to Carolina*"Hey Carolina, I made sure not to check out your butt when you dropped your rifle this morning."

Carolina: "Excuse me!?"

Tucker: "Whoa, whoa, I said I didn't check out your butt-"

Carolina: "Saying it the second time does not make it better!"

Tucker: "Aren't you gonna thank me?"

Carolina: "Thank you!?!? What kind of-"

Verosika: *to you*"Sweet pea, I was planning on having pregnant sex with you but then I won't because I don't wanna hurt the baby."

(Y/N): "Aww thanks. I think?"

Carolina: "What?"

(Y/N): "I guess you're not into Thanks-gimme?"

Tucker: "Looks like someone just doesn't understand the meaning of Thanks-gimme."

Carolina then shoots Tucker in the foot.

Tucker: "Ow!"

Carolina: "You know I thought of shooting you in the balls but I settled on the foot. What do you say?"

Tucker: *in pain*"Thank you."

Back to you, Lopez, and Simmons.

(Y/N): "That is incredibly painful."

Lopez: *in spanish*" I called it uncomfortable."

(Y/N): "Because you're robotic?"

Lopez: *in Spanish* "That and I don't feel pain."

Simmons: "Next we have Anti-Christmas."

(Y/N): "Anti who?"

We then cut to the demons decorating Red Base with satanic decorations as we see Blitzo bring in a goat.

Blitzo: "Can't wait to sacrifice this goat!"

Carolina: "What?"

(Y/N): "I-" *sighs* "Carolina you've spent a long time with these guys, you have any idea what all... this is?"

Carolina: "I...am....as lost as you are."

Simmons: "Anti-Christmas is like christmas but instead of Jesus Christ, we celebrate Anti-christ."

(Y/N): "And what's with the goat?"

You and Simmons see Blitzo cut open the goat as the blood from the goat then forms a portal to Hell as we see demons come out of it. We then see Katie Killjoy walk up to you.

Katie: "So rumor has it that you are the father of the unborn child of Verosika Mayday?"

(Y/N): "Yes, wait, I thought sinners couldn't travel to the living world."

Blitzo: "It's a holiday thing."

(Y/N): *Sighs* "Verosika, explain."

Verosika: "Can't help it if I'm famous, the paparazzi follows me around. And Charlie told everyone about how many women you got pregnant."

(Y/N): "I meant about Anti-Christmas."

Verosika: "Ohh right, it's a hell exclusive holiday. I thought we could exchange culture."

(Y/N): "Makes sense." *To Simmons* "I'm almost going to regret this but, Simmons, what's the next holiday?"

Simmons: "Next we have Saint Peppy's Day."

(Y/N): "Huh?"

We then cut to Blue Base as we see Lindsay running away from the base.

Lindsay: "SNAKES EVERYWHERE!!!! ALL OVER THE BASE!!!!!"

(Y/N): "Okay can you explain what this Holiday is about?"

Simmons: "Saint Peppy was the distant relative of Saint Patrick, but he actually brought snakes back into Ireland."

You then head to Blue Base and you see Dawn surrounded by snakes.

(Y/N): "Oh crud, Dawn don't anger the snakes! I think I saw a python here and some rattlesnakes. I'll get you out!"

Dawn: "Why would I leave my scaly friends behind?"

(Y/N): "Huh?"

You saw that the snakes were surprisingly friendly to Dawn.

(Y/N): *Remembers* "Ohh right, you're good with animals."

Dawn: "I did see Izzy end up in the python."

(Y/N): "Of course she did, can you tell the python to spit her out?"

Dawn then rattles a rattle as we see the python spit out Izzy.

Izzy: "That was cozy in there. Haha!"

(Y/N): "Izzy, did you do this?"

Izzy: "Punch me, I'm Irish!"

(Y/N): "Wait, I saw you with Ella. Where is she?"

Dawn: "I think she's with the snakes on top of the base and she's singing a song to the nursery."

(Y/N): *looks around*"How do I get to her?"

Izzy: "You can take the express elevator."*pulls on a python tail and sees a snake body form a elevator*"See."

(Y/N): "Yeah I'll just take your word for it and not get swallowed by snakes."

Simmons: "Next we have Cinco de Macho, where you can show everyone you're the most macho in all the land."

We then cut to Sarge, Warmonga, Anissa, and Looma talking to each other.

Sarge: "Go on, hit me! Right in the solar plexus! Or any other plexus you dare!"

Looma: *to Warmonga* "This is an earth holiday?"

Warmonga: "I don't know."

Sarge: "I said let me have it! Or aren't you not man enough?"

Anissa: "Okay I'm starting to want to hit him now."

Sarge: "Don't you have any testosterone!? I'm surprised you "men" managed not to grow any facial hair at all!"

Warmonga, Looma, and Anissa: "Facial hair!?"

(Y/N): *Sighs* *Hears Sarge getting beaten up* "Okay since we're all making up holidays at this point, how about this one, national I don't know, couple's day."

Simmons: "Or its alternate title, Harem's day. A day where you spend quality time with the girls you love the most."

We then cut to you spending time with your soon to be wives at the park.

(Y/N): " Okay now this is more like it, a holiday where nothing can go crazy."

Simmons: "A day where the women decide what to do with the same man they love by taking turns."

(Y/N): "...Huh?"

Verosika: "He hasn't been to a strip club at all, so that is the activity we should do."

Gwen: "Isn't that a men's only thing?"

Verosika: "I know a club that welcomes men and women."

Lindsay: "A highschool?"

Verosika then whispers into Lindsay's ear as she then blushes.

Lindsay: "Ooooh. That kind of club."

(Y/N): "Uh what's going on?"

Courtney: *Hugs your arm* "We are deciding activities for us to do with you."

Ella: *Hugs your other arm* " And some of them might be a bit lewd but you will get used to it."

Izzy: "Ohh I want to take him to a women's wrestling training room where he's the punching bag!"

Leshawna: "No way, we don't want him to get hurt."

Courtney: "How about a spa?"

Izzy: "That is my second option!"

(Y/N): "I've taken worst hits before. But the spa doesn't sound so bad."

Verosika: "Lindsay, what would you want to do?"

Lindsay: "Maybe a group activity we can agree on, like giving him a makeover. Cause I kinda want to see him as a girl."

(Y/N): "Huh?"

Leshawna: "Girl that's a great plan, raise your hand if you're in."

You see all the girls raise their hands.

(Y/N): "Oh boy." *to Simmons* "Simmons quick next holiday!"

Simmons: "And finally we have National Futanari Day, a day to celebrate an underappreciated gender. A gender where women have both parts."

We then cut to you and a group of futanari surrounding you.

(Y/N): "Okay I have a new holiday, national kick Simmon's ass-"*sees a futa hug your arm*"Uh oh."

Futanari: "Let us show you the experience of being on the receiving end sweetie~."

(Y/N): "I have multiple girlfriends!"

Futanari 2: "But ones with these."

The futas then take off their pants and panties offscreen and you see how big they are.

(Y/N): "Oh god they're huge!"

While you are screaming offscreen as your harem is watching the whole time.

Courtney: "We have to save him!"

Verosika: "Right now?"

Lindsay: *blushes from the sight*"Let's give them some time."

Gwen: "You know I actually want a friend who's a futa."

You came in staggering.

(Y/N): "I got a holiday idea, national beat up Simmons!"

We then see Everyone turn to Simmons as he sees them turn to him.

Simmons: "I have no recollection of that being a holiday."

Duncan: *shows up*"Hey what's going on here?"*to Simmons*"Let me guess, you're making up new holidays cause you're a sell out."

(Y/N): "Yeah, this maroon moron got me gangbanged by Futas!"

Duncan: *Winces* "Woah, and you said it with a straightface, awesome. Gross but awesome."

Noah: *comes in*"How much are they even paying you?"

(Y/N): "$1500."

Noah: *sarcastically*"Wow, good paycheck."

(Y/N): "You know what, how about we have our own holiday, where we come together over our shared hatred of Simmons."

Futanari 1: "Can we come too sweetie?"

(Y/N): "As long as you don't try anything."

Futanari girls: "Yay!"

We see everyone leave Simmons including Lopez as Simmons looks down to the ground.

Simmons: *sighs*"Holidays suck."

You then walk back as you then kick Simmons right in the kiwis.

Simmons: *in pain* *falls over* "Ow! Son of a bitch!"

(Y/N): "Payback for getting me gangbanged by futanari!" *Walks off* "Jackass..."

Simmons: *in pain* "I hate myself."

Next: Chapter 12: Lesbian Seminars