I got up and walked over to her. Suddenly I could tell that all eyes were on me. The conversations behind me had died down, but mostly everyone tried to mind their own business despite failing. Eren was the only one who was actively trying to listen in. I could feel his worry from across the room.

"What the fuck did you do last night?" Ymir asked with such anger that almost made me flinch. I've never seen Ymir mad, well until now that is.

"What do you mean?" I asked and she let out a frustrated sigh. "Don't play dumb with me," she said before taking a deep breath and trying to calm herself down. "I enjoy sleep ya know and it's kinda hard to do that when you have two spirits relentlessly trying to get your attention because they are so frantic. I couldn't even figure out what they were trying to say for the first hour they were so angry and frustrated.

She took a breath and looked at me, "so I'm going to ask you one more time, what the fuck did you do?" She said before crossing her arms waiting for me to answer.

"Well I knew they were there so I tried to talk to them," I said and she cut me off.

"Mistake number one," she said before glaring at me to continue.

"I said what I was feeling-,"

"Mistake number two," she cut me off once again. "Ya know what, why don't I tell you where you fucked up since you genuinely don't know," she huffed angrily pinching the bridge of her nose.

"You fucked up because you said what you thought they wanted to hear and sure you may honestly feel genuine in some of these things you were saying, however, all you did was piss them off, and me included. I need my sleep dammit," she huffed before taking a calming breath. "If you fuck with my sleep again I will kill you," she mumbled before letting out a long sigh.

She looked around the room and saw people staring at us. She went quiet and just grabbed my arm before dragging me into the hallway. I looked back at Eren who was fighting his thoughts which were telling him to get up and follow me. I just gave him a quick nod that said I'd be okay.

The second the door closed she took a few deep breaths. "Look, I know all of this has probably been hard on you, but you should have waited to talk to them with me. Usually, I'm all for people talking to their loved ones with me or not, but you, on the other hand, are one of the first I'm telling to stop talking when you are alone." She took another deep breath calming herself down the rest of the way. "When you piss off the spirits too much they will haunt you, or they will come to me and pester me until I tell you off in person," she said before telling me to sit down so we could actually talk.

Normally I'd be a little more hesitant about sitting on the dirty floors, but this was an exception. I sat down and she sat next to me pulling her knees up to her chest.

"Now before we talk to them I have a few questions," she said before looking at me.

"Okay," I said crossing my legs and waiting patiently.

"So, why do you think they are mad at you?" She asked first and I felt guilt overwhelm me.

"Hey, look I know these are going to be hard questions, but please try not to shut down on me," she said and I tried my best to rein in my emotions since I knew the reason she said that is because she could feel them.

"Sorry," I mumbled, "I mean, last night I gave them an apology that probably meant nothing. Sorry doesn't bring them back," I whispered.

"Okay," she said a little awkwardly before taking a deep breath, "so why did you feel the need to apologize in the first place?" She asked.

"Because I'm the reason they're dead," I mumbled. It took everything to not lose my composure. I fought back all the tears all the emotions welling up inside. I was in school I couldn't break down not here in the middle of the hallway.

She covered her ears and let out an annoyed sigh before saying, "shut the hell up for a second would you." She waited a moment before uncovering her ears, "that's better," she mumbled.

"Well, I can tell you that yes they are very angry with you, but not for the reasons you think," she took a deep breath before looking off in a different direction.

"I know but hold on," she said before turning back to me. "They really want to get their message across.

"They aren't mad because you're the reason they died, they are mad because you think you're the reason they died. They're mad because you blame yourself and feel the need to apologize. They are really pissed that you apparently made promises that isolated you from others and that you've dwelled on this so much to the point where you refuse to open yourself up to anyone. That is why they are mad."

"But I felt so much hatred last night-," she cut me off.

"It was your own," she said, "that was part of the reason they came to me. They were so worried about you and desperate to talk to you that they wouldn't leave me alone all night." She said with a bit of an annoyed look. 

Before I could even process what she was telling me I felt a warm feeling around me. I knew exactly what it was before the words left her mouth. "They're hugging you," she said and I felt the tears come to my eyes. I couldn't stop it. I barely managed to hold them back. I couldn't speak every time I tried I felt my throat tighten.

"Now, they have a few things they want to tell you," She said before covering her ears again. "Hey one at a time," she said quickly before pointing near me. "You first," she said before going really quiet staring just past my head.

"So," she started, "Farlan says that he's glad you're safe and that he's okay. He wants to tell you he's sorry he had to go so suddenly, but he doesn't blame you at all for what happened. He says it wasn't your fault and you could barely save yourself there was no way he expected you to save him. He wishes you a long and happy life." She said and I felt my head lower.

"Okay, now you," She said looking to the other side of me just past my head again.

"Okay, Isabel says she's sorry. She hopes that you stop blaming yourself. She says that you couldn't have known and that even if you think you did she says that there was still nothing you could have done. She says she's very sorry and that even though she regrets what happened she's doing better now." Ymir took a pause before placing her hand over mine. I think she could tell I was really struggling to hold everything back.

"She says all though she wants to see you face to face again that if she sees you too soon she will kick your ass. She wants you to open up more and experience everything she couldn't. She wants you to be happy."

Ymir paused again but this time looking at both of them. "They say they have to go now but they will be watching over you. They also want to make sure that you know how much they love you."

I just nodded before taking a few deep breaths before forcing out the words, "I love them too, so much," I said holding back my tears. My heart physically hurt. I felt the air around me go cold and I knew they were gone.

Ymir just scooted closer to me before wrapping her arms around me, "sorry I know that was hard," she said and I took a deep breath.

"Thank you," I said. I wanted to say more, but I knew I couldn't if I uttered another word I knew I'd break down.

I got up and just looked at the door I reached for it before taking a deep breath. I prepared myself to walk back in the room, but I couldn't physically bring myself to open the door. I locked eyes with Eren through the window in the door. I felt all the emotions I had been suppressing collapse before turning around and practically running to the bathroom.

I heard Ymir call my name, but my legs didn't stop as I turned the corner into the men's restroom. I ran into the nearest stall and leaned up against the door and felt my legs give out from under me. My knees collided with the hard tile floor. I knew that would hurt later, but at the moment I could barely feel the sting.

A minute later I heard someone else walk into the bathroom. I took a deep breath as I heard Eren call my name. "Levi," he said before stopping in the doorway.

I just unlocked the door before opening it slightly. I looked at him and my emotions were already affecting him even from across the room. From what I could see through blurry eyes were tears streaming down his cheeks.

I must have looked really pathetic. Here I was crying on the floor like a baby. I couldn't even figure out what emotions I was feeling. I was sad, but also happy, but also angry mostly at myself.

"Sorry, here I go making you cry again," I managed to force out as Eren walked up to me and kneeled down next to me. He placed a hand on my back and rubbed circles as his other warm pulled me closer to him.

"Don't apologize," he said before placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Do you want to talk about it or do you want me to distract you from it?" he asked and I was about to ask for a distraction before remembering what Isabel was trying to tell me. She wanted me to open up more and be happy. Well, in order to do that I need to get these emotions out I need to talk about it. Not only did I just hear from my two best friends who have been dead for 9 years now, but I was told that they didn't blame me for their deaths. They never blamed me, and they wanted me to stop blaming myself. In order to fulfill that wish of theirs I had to talk to someone about it.

"I want to talk," I said taking a deep breath to try and calm down. "I want to tell you about Farlan and Isabel, I want to tell you about our friendship, some of our best memories, and my worst. I want- no I need to tell you how they died." I said before taking a big breath preparing myself for the longest most draining conversation of my life.