I was a little nervous about what he had to say but I just stayed quiet waiting for him to say what was on his mind. I watched as his mouth opened a closed a few times. No words came out and he just sat there looking more and more frustrated with himself. He took a deep breath and laid his hand over mine before finally speaking. "I'm not good at this," he mumbled before closing his eyes. He took another minute before giving my hand a light squeeze and whispering out, "I'm having a really bad day."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked looking at his eyes that were staring at the ground still.

He just gave me a slight nod before continuing, "but I don't know how. I don't know what to say or how to describe why I'm feeling how I am without saying something that will cause me to shut down completely again."

"Okay, that's okay, we will figure it out together," I said trying to think of how we could go about this. "We can take it step by step if we start heading into a topic that's too deep then we can switch it."

"Okay," he nodded.

"When did this start I know you were feeling bad in class and then again at lunch did it start before first period or?" I asked letting my voice drift off so he could answer. I scooted closer to him. He laid his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes.

"Ever since I talked to Ymir the first time I've been feeling this way, but today in class she told me there were two spirits attached to me. She still doesn't know their names, but I think I do. The emotions I feel when I'm around them gives it away."

I took a moment to think about my next question. Asking who the spirits are might trigger something, "what emotions do you feel when you're around them?" I asked hoping that wouldn't be as bad.

"Guilt." His muscles tensed up. He picked his head back up and I looked at his face. His eyes were shut tightly and I felt his hand pull away from mine as they clenched into fists.

"Why do you feel guilty?" my question seemed to fall on deaf ears.

"I know who they are because all I feel when they are around me is my guilt, my shame. I feel them watching me, I feel their hatred towards me. How could I not, they have every right to hate me." I started to panic this isn't Levi, not really, he's spiraling. "Hell, I hate me for what I did to them. I'm the reason their dead. I'm the one who killed them."

I panicked and threw my arms around him, pulling him close to me. His eyes opened wide for a moment before closing shit again. His arms wrapped around me clinging to my shirt. I felt tears flood my eyes as I could feel his breathing hitch. He was crying. No, he wasn't just crying he was full-on sobbing. I looked around the room and objects were going haywire. Books were flying around and the pillows from the bed were pinned harshly to the ceiling.

I just held him close. I ran my fingers through his hair as I whispered calming words in his ear placing a kiss on the top of his head. He was shaking. I've never seen him like this and as much as I wanted him to open up, I almost felt guilty for making him do so. It seems everything he's been holding back for years came out all at once. I just held him close as he cried in my arms.

In the back of my mind, I tried to figure out what he meant when he said he killed them. I doubt he actually killed them like physically killed them. I remember him telling me earlier when we were talking about Thomas he said there were a few deaths he was responsible for. Is that what he thinks? That these deaths are all his fault? If that's what he thinks then there must be a huge weight on his shoulders, no wonder he's been struggling so much. I knew one thing was certain. This conversation was over, at least for now.

After several minutes went by I felt the tears clear from my eyes and I looked down at Levi who had gradually stopped trembling. He was quietly staring down at the floor and his arms that had clung so tightly to me had loosened their grips.

"I'm sorry you had to see all that," he hoarsely mumbled out.

"Don't apologize," I said before placing a kiss on his head, "it's okay to cry."

"I made you cry," he said, glancing up at my tear-stained face.

"So, I've made you cry before too," I shrugged, "it's not a bad thing, I get to know how you're feeling when you need help."

"That's a lame excuse," he rolled his eyes giving me a little smile that looks like it took most of his energy to make.

"Maybe it is, but hey it works," I smiled back. "Also you look gorgeous by the way," I said running my fingers through his hair.

"Shut the fuck up," he laughed wiping away the rest of his tears and covering his face trying to hide his laughter.

"I'm serious, you look absolutely breathtaking, no matter how shitty you look I still think you look good," I teased.

"You're an ass," he said closing his eyes and leaning his head up against my shoulder and letting out a long frustrated sigh. "I'm sorry, I really tried," he said before shaking his head, "every time I try and open up I always end up shutting down instead."

It's okay, I got to know a little more about the situation," I said before trying to get a smile back on his face, "at least you didn't throw a book at me this time," I said and I watched as his eyes opened as he side-eyed me.

"There's still time," he said with a threatening tone before letting the suppressed smile slip onto his face.

"Um," I said trying to think of another topic since the one we were on was clearly to stressful, "so how's your day going?" I asked sarcastically not knowing what else to say.

"Fucking fantastic how about yours," he said just as sarcastically.

I just laughed before pulling him closer, "better now."

He just nodded, "I agree," he said before taking a deep calming breath. "Well, I know what we can talk about," he said with an awkward smile.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" I asked.

"Well, we could talk about those thoughts you were having of us earlier," he said making dead eye contact with me. I closed my eyes to avoid his gaze.

"Or we could you know, not do that," I said awkwardly afraid to even open my eyes. I know he said he didn't mind me having those thoughts, but at the same time, I still shouldn't have thought about them so freely like that. I've been so good about filtering those thoughts out until I was alone. Wait, shit, shut up Eren. I opened my eyes to see Levi smirking at me.

"So you have those thoughts when you're alone. What exactly do you do when you're alone hm?" He asked and I felt as if he was baiting me. I stayed quiet but my mind wasn't as cooperative. A few thoughts of the other day slipped into my mind before I could fully rein all my thoughts in.

"Oh, in the shower, that's where you do it?" He said just to let me know that he saw those thoughts.

I felt my cheeks go red. "This isn't fair I can't read your mind," I blurted out.

"I don't know if you'd want to at the moment," he said looking me up and down with a devious smirk. "Then again I could show you exactly what I'm thinking."

I felt chills run down my body. I'm in trouble. Is Levi a top or bottom. Is he planning on fucking me because I am so down with that.

"I'm a switch, and if you're okay with it then yes."

I'm a switch too. I thought before realizing he just agreed to fuck me. "Holy shit," my thoughts ran a little wild and I kept trying to rein them in but to no avail.

"That's hot," Levi said with a devious smile and I just gave him a blank stare. "You must think you're hilarious don't you?" I asked remembering how when he popped a boner earlier that's the exact thing I said.

"I don't think I'm hilarious, I know I'm hilarious," he smiled before pushing me down on his bed.