I hardly slept all night. My mind was all over the place. I hurt Levi, I hurt him, and he wants to try that again? I don't. I never want to try it again if it means I could hurt him. I know he doesn't blame me for what happened, but I do.

I wish I never found out about this power, it's been nothing but trouble ever since. I like it better not knowing. I like it better when I was miserable day in and out from the exhaustion because at least it was only me that was miserable. I wasn't affecting anyone else. I wasn't hurting anyone or damaging property, I was just tired.

I slipped out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. I thought since I couldn't sleep I might as well get an early start on my morning routine. When I got out of the bathroom Levi was still asleep. I checked the time and saw that he would be waking up soon. I wrote a quick note and put it by his phone and slipped out of the room.

I needed time to think, time to collect myself. I knew he wouldn't be happy with what I was thinking, but I needed time to clear my thoughts from it. He's so determined to get me to work on my power, but I don't want to. Not anymore. I just want to forget about it, or at least that half of it. I can't just throw that all at him this early in the morning, but I can't reign in my thoughts. They are spiraling out of control.

All I keep seeing is Levi falling to the ground in pain. I keep feeling the panic that rushed through me. Just knowing that I caused that is flooding my head with so much guilt it's blocking out any other thoughts. There would be no way to hide this from him. I just some time to clear my head.

I walked around the empty campus. Hardly anyone is awake this early, and the few that are, aren't exactly strolling around outside. I just found a bench outside and took a seat as I tried to get my head straight.

I opened my eyes and instantly noticed something was different. The bed next to me was cold, and there were only my thoughts in my head. I looked around the room and saw it empty. I spotted something next to my phone and picked it up. Eren left a note. I felt panic rush through me. The feeling that I felt the other day came back. Pure dread. The last time a note was written for me was Isabel's suicide note. I took a few deep breaths trying not to assume the worst before reaching for the note.

I took a deep breath and let myself read the note. "Hey sorry for not being there when you woke up, but I woke up early and decided to stretch my legs before class started. I'll meet up with you in class. Love you, From Eren." I let out a sigh of relief before setting the note down.

As I got ready for the day I had to stop myself from getting distracted thinking about Eren. It's no coincidence that he suddenly wants to take a walk before class starts after what happened last night. I know he's doing it on purpose. Whether it's because he's feeling so guilty he can't even look at me, or he needs time to think about what happened, or even that he's just so frustrated with himself that his thoughts are running wild, I don't know. Hell, it could even be all of the above.

I wish he would just talk to me. I want to know what he's thinking. Maybe just maybe I could help, I could make this better. I mean it's my fault he's feeling this way in the first place. It was my stupid idea to use my power. last night probably hurt the progress of him learning to use his power more than help. I don't know how else I can measure if his power is working or not, but I'm going to have to come up with an idea soon because I know he will never let me try that again no matter how much I beg him to. Hell if I don't find a new way he will probably never work on his power again.

Maybe if I use a scale? I could lift the books onto a scale and gave him apply his power and then the scale would tell us if it's working. Man, I should have tried that first. It doesn't matter right now, all that matters is that I find him and try and talk to him before he completely scares himself out of the idea for good.

I finished getting ready and headed out the door a little earlier than normal and went looking for Eren. If I were Eren where would I be? I asked myself as I was walking. I saw someone sitting on the bench and to my surprise, it was actually Eren. In all honesty, I wasn't expecting to find him so early.

I walked up and sat on the bench next to him. He was so deep in thought that he didn't even see me until I sat down next to him. "Levi what are-?" His voice cut out when I gave him a smile.

"You sure look like you're stretching your legs," I said sarcastically and he lowered his head.

"I got tired," he lied.

I just rolled my eyes, "sure you did," I mumbled. "Now can we actually talk or are you going to use a lame excuse and run again?"

"What's there to talk about?" He said and I could tell by his tone alone that he really didn't want to talk about any of this. He knew where this conversation was going to end up and he wanted nothing to do with it.

"Look, I know you don't want to use your power anymore but I have an idea that will be safe will you hear me out at least?" I asked placing my hand on his.

He looked up at me. His eyes looked hopefully, but the rest of him looked like he was ready to be disappointed. "Okay let me hear it."

"Well, rather than measuring your ability with mine why don't we measure it with an actual scale. I mean you can't hurt a scale since it's not living," I shrugged.

"If it makes you happy, I'll give it a shot," he took a deep breath and I waited for the but. "But," there it is, "can we give it a day or two. I just need some time to calm down from what happened. I know if try to use that power again right away I'm going to get emotional and it's just going to make things worse." Eren explained nervously.

I leaned my head on his shoulder and gave his hand a squeeze. "That's perfectly fine," I said with a small smile, "thank you for giving it a shot and not giving up."

"As annoying as it is, thank you for not giving up on me," Eren mumbled.

"Hey I'm your boyfriend, I'll never give up on you, not to mention it's basically my job to occasionally annoy the shit out of you," I said and he laughed.

"Occasionally?" He asked.

"Hey think of it as payback for you annoying the hell out of me for a few days until we started dating," I said and he nodded.

"Fair point."

I gave him a kiss on the cheek before standing up. I reached my arm up to help him up. "Alright, let's head to class," I said and he nodded. We made our way to our joint class with Hanji and Erwin.

I'm going to have to pull them aside and tell them that Eren is having some issues with his power and not to pressure him to use it. I'm sure they will understand, but I hope they don't bombard him with questions either. He just needs some time to focus on things and I get on him enough they don't need to do it too.

We made it to class a little earlier than expected. Erwin and Hanji were just unlocking the classroom when we walked up. I was thinking about a way to pull them aside without Eren noticing, but thought it might be impossible until Eren gave me the opening.

"Hey babe I'll be right back, I'm going to run to the bathroom before class starts," he said.

"Okay," I said mentally letting out a sigh of relief.

The second the door closed I walked right up to their desk. "Guys, we've got an issue," I said and instantly their full attention was on me. "So I'm sure you know that Eren's been having some issues with part of his powers," I said and they both nodded. "Well, I've been trying to help him and I came up with a good idea, but it was also a partially bad idea. Anyway long story short it backfired a little and now he doesn't want to use his powers."

I could tell they wanted to say something but I cut them off before they had a chance. "However, I came up with a better plan one that won't backfire and he says he's willing to try it, but he just needs a day or two to get his emotions back in check. So if he doesn't want to use his power for his individual lesson can you not make him?" I asked.

"Okay we can do that," Hanji nodded. "But before he comes back you better tell us what the hell kinda plan you tried that backfired."

"Okay, but in my defense the plan was good, but the execution was poor. Like it worked, but I should have tried it a different way sooner." I said before telling them what happened.

"Using your powers that's the dumbest plan ever," Hanji rolled her eyes.

"But his plan was also a good one," Erwin interjected, "but yes Hanji is right using your powers was foolish. However, using more weight instead of less is genius."

"So how are you going to go about executing it the next time since you said you had another way?" Hanji asked.

"Well instead of using my power to measure his I was thinking about putting the books on a scale so he could see how much force he was applying," I shrugged.

"That's," Hanji started with a dismissive tone before thinking about it for a second, "actually really smart," she said sounding impressed.

"It is a good idea, no way of hurting anyone, and it shows Eren the results instantly," Erwin said thinking out loud.

"Well, share the results with us, if it works we're going to have to use this method," Hanji smiled giving me a thumbs up.

"Of course, but for now I want to give him space since I've been really pushing him about this lately."

"That's probably best," Erwin nodded.

"Yeah after your little stunt it's going to take a few days hell maybe even longer for him to get over." She rolled her eyes again. I get it Hanji you're not happy about my last idea.

"Thanks really reassuring," I rolled my eyes.

I saw the doorknob turn and quickly changed the subject. "So what are we going over today?" I asked right as Eren opened the door.

"Well, it was supposed to be a surprise, but we were thinking of having one of your classmates demonstrate and talk about their power," Hanji said.

"We won't tell you who, that you will have to see for yourself," Erwin smiled.

"That's fair," I nodded before turning to Eren.

"Oh hey babe, did you hear that?" I asked and he nodded.

"Sounds like it's going to be an interesting class," Eren smile.