"We should head back to our room," I suggested. I mean we didn't exactly know what to do now. Everything was upside down. Almost everyone was struggling with some sort of backlash from the incident. Myself included. I didn't even know what was happening to me. I think this was the only sign of backlash I'm showing. I mean the tingling burning sensation in my fingers. It wasn't pleasant, but it wasn't unmanageable. I don't think I've noticed anything else that's off. I can't really remember, I mean it's possible I just overlooked something.

"I think that's a good idea," Jean said, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his head on my shoulder. He looked exhausted. I can't tell if it's because he's still worn out from yesterday, or because of the meeting we just had.

Despite him agreeing with me he made it awfully hard to actually start heading towards the room. "You gonna let me go for five minutes so we can get to our room?" I asked playfully, poking the top of his head.

"I don't want to let go though," he mumbled. "Maybe I should just carry you."

"You can hold me all you want when we get back to the room," I laughed and shrugged his arms off. To his disappointment, he actually listened rather than just scooping me off my feet. We started heading towards the hallway that led to the rooms when a voice stopped us.

"Hey boys, how are you holding up?" We both turned to answer.

"Pretty good considering," I said, giving mom a warm smile. Jean just gave a nod of agreement. I could tell he was eager to get back to the room to just relax, and he didn't want to spend a lot of time talking.

"That's good, I was going to check in on Eren and Levi, but I guess they went to take a nap," she mumbled before turning her eyes back to us. "I'm going to go check in with the others, but before I do I want to make sure you're doing okay," she said looking directly at Jean.

"I'm fine," he said, just brushing her off. I get he might not be in the most talkative mood since he was tired, but I've never seen him just brush mom off like this before.

"Okay, I'm sorry about your arms hun, and if you need time to process anything, or to talk you know I'm always here right."

"Oh my god could you just fucking stop I don't need your help!" he raised his voice glaring her down.

I snapped my head around to look at him. What the hell. Jean's never- why is he yelling at mom. I snapped my eyes back to look at mom and she seemed equally as confused. She looked hurt, and I don't blame her that was totally out of line.

I looked back at him about to yell at him for being so rude when I saw the look on his face. He looked shocked that he had actually said that out loud. "I'm really sorry," he whispered out at first. "I didn't mean it, I'm just really tired and I guess I'm just a little grouchy from not getting enough sleep, and being sore. Thank you for your concerns, and again I'm really sorry I didn't mean it," he said again, opening his arms for a hug.

She nodded gladly, taking him up on his offer. She didn't look hurt by what he said anymore she just hugged him tight and said all was forgiven. When she let go of him she must have noticed that he still looked upset at himself for doing that and she ruffled his hair a little to get his attention and bring his mood up. With a big smile, she told him, "get some rest hun."

"I will, again I'm sorry it won't happen again."

She nodded and headed off to go check on the others. He looked back at me with shame in his eyes. "I can't believe I just snapped at mom," he shook his head. God, I'm an idiot.

"Let's just head back to the room," I said, putting my hand on his back where I knew he could feel it. He nodded and I guided him down the hallway and back to our room.

He collapsed on the bed and I sat down next to him. I wonder. "Are you sure you are okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine baby, I just need to get some sleep," he answered back-patting the spot on the bed next to him for me to lay down.

I didn't move, I just stayed where I was sitting on the end of the bed. "Are you sure you are okay? Like really sure?"

"Yes baby I'm fine," he said, rolling his eyes this time. "Now can we please get some sleep?"

"Okay in a moment, but like you are sure? Like totally sure you're okay."

"Yes," he said again, sitting up a little glaring at me slightly trying to figure out why I was acting so weird. I'm close. I can feel it.

"Okay, but like your arms are they-."

"Can you just shut the fuck up and lay down already!" He yelled, getting in my face glaring down at me. I instantly watched as that same instant regret washed across his face.

"Baby I'm sorry, I really didn't mean that I know you're just worried and that-."

"It's okay," I said back quickly. I think he scared himself by yelling at me so much so that he didn't even realize that I didn't react when he yelled at me. I wasn't mad, I wasn't surprised. I knew it was coming.

"No, it's really not. It wasn't okay when I yelled at mom, and it definitely isn't okay that I yelled at you."

"I wanted you to, I baited you into it," I explained knowing he would just continuously go down this route of blaming himself if I didn't speak up.

"What?"

"It's not you. You're a hothead, yes, but you've never been this bad before. You at least knew when to hold your tongue, this isn't you and I know you don't mean it. I noticed it while in the meeting you started being snappy with Pixis, and then again with Mom, and that's when I tested it. I think something's wrong."

"I think you're right," he nodded. "Some backlash we don't know of?" he asked, looking up at me.

"I don't know, but I'm right here helping you figure it out," I said, placing my hand on his.

"I hope we figure it out fast, I made a promise to mom it would never happen again, and until I figure that out I don't know if I can keep the promise. It's almost like I couldn't stop it. I tried to, I really did, when I felt it coming with you but it just came out anyway."

"So you get angry really easily, and can't stop whatever you want to say?"

"It's not even what I want to say. I just wanted to ask you if we could go to bed and talk about that later but that's not what came out."

"Okay, so a more aggressive version of what you want to say replaced it. You wanted to ask me to talk about it later and if we could go to bed. What you said was shut the fuck up and lay down. I mean it's the same thing just very different words used." I mumbled mostly to myself trying to figure out exactly how this backlash works. I thought it was just him saying what he was thinking, even if it was just an impulsive thought, but if it's not even what he was thinking in the first place then I'm a little confused.

"What exactly were you trying to tell mom?"

"Well I wanted to tell her something along the lines of thanks but I don't think I'll need to since I've gone through this before and that I know how to handle it."

"And you told her to stop and you didn't need her help," which is the meaner, more simplified version of what you just said."

"I guess?"

"It's definitely a theory but I won't know for sure if that's actually what's happening or if I'm reaching," I mumbled.

"We should tell the others about this, I don't want to explode on anyone else."

"I think that will be best. We can tell them tomorrow, but for now, I think it is best if we both get some rest."

"I'd like that," he said, laying down and raising his arm waiting for me to scoot in closer to him. I just gave him a smile and did so laying down in his arms. I let my eyes close as I got comfortable in his arms.

"Whatever is happening with me, I'll try not to let it happen again," he said, placing a kiss on the top of my head, "I never want to yell at you like that again."

"I know you can't promise anything, but I also know it's not entirely your fault if it does happen. So if you yell at me again and you don't mean it, know that okay?"

"Backlash or not it's still my-."

"If you finish that sentence I'm going to be the one yelling at you," I mumbled, letting my eyes open back up to glare at him. "Now listen to me it's not your fault if it happens again okay?"

He opened his mouth to say something before closing it again. I could tell he didn't want to argue with me whether it's because he was afraid that backlash might kick in or because I would win the argument anyway but he just hesitantly nodded rather than speak up again.

"Good, now sleep," I said, giving him a peck on the lips before closing my eyes again.

"Goodnight baby, I love you," he finally whispered.

"I love you too," I whispered back as consciousness faded away.