I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. I didn't even remember falling asleep. I blinked a few times, my eyes still heavy and swollen. I could barely see despite my eyes being open as wide as they could be. I felt like shit. My head was pounding and my hand was throbbing. I went to move it and I felt a pain shoot all the way up my arm as I winced trying to stop myself from yelling. I took a few deep breaths before trying to sit up. I couldn't, I didn't have enough energy. It felt like there was a huge weight sitting on me.

Wait a minute there is extra weight, but it's not the reason I can't get up. I looked around and counted how many arms. One two, okay those are mine, Three four, those are Levi's. Five. What the hell. I looked over and saw Jean and Marco. Oh, that's right, I asked them to stay in here with us.

Levi's arms were wrapped tightly around me and he was still sound asleep. The other arm around me was Jean's. He had one arm wrapped around me and one wrapped around Marco. I wouldn't be able to move even if I did have enough energy. I would wake everyone up trying. I felt Jean move a little and I turned my head back to look at him and his eyes were open. They looked as swollen as mine. "Eren, you awake?" he asked in a quiet whisper. He was looking right at me but I wonder if his vision was as blurry as mine.

"Yeah," I whispered back.

"Is anyone else away?" He asked and when we were met with silence we realized they were still sleeping.

"Guess not," I mumbled.

"Shit, my arms are cramping up," he whispered. One arm was under Marco and wrapped around him and the other was under me wrapped around me. Marco was asleep so he couldn't move that arm. He couldn't move the arm under me without me moving which would wake Levi.

"I think we are stuck," I whispered back.

"Seems so," he let out a sigh. "Well anyway, how are you doing?" How's your hand?"

"I feel like shit and so does my hand," I mumbled.

"Sounds about right. When these two finally wake up I'm taking you to Hanji." He said and I rolled my eyes.

"I don't need Hanji to fix my hand," I mumbled quickly.

"We aren't just going to leave it broken."

"Why not?" I raised my voice slightly. I quickly stopped talking when I felt Levi move a little.

"Because it's hurting you."

"Maybe I like the pain. Maybe the physical pain takes my mind off the mental pain. Maybe just maybe I hurt myself on purpose." I said my voice going quieter until I just stopped talking. I didn't even know what I was saying it just came out.

"Eren," Jean mumbled but he was cut off by Levi who woke up.

"Are you guys awake?" he asked sitting up.

"Yes," I mumbled sitting up with him letting Jean's arm free.

"Oh thank god," Jean said, moving his arm and stretching it out.

I looked at Levi and I saw everything hit him at once. He quickly zoned out and stared down out the blankets for a minute as he remembered what happened the night before. He took a few deep breaths before snapping out of it and looked up at me.

"I'm okay," he whispered and I realized that in my head I was worried about him.

I just leaned my head over on his shoulder and took a deep breath. "You don't have to be," I whispered, "because I know I'm not."

He just wrapped his arms around me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "I'm not either, but maybe if I say it enough I'll start to believe it." He whispered in my ear.

I felt as Jean sat up behind me and I turned around and saw that Marco had woken up. We just sat in the bed for most of the day. Half the time we were dead silent the other half was spent talking or crying. None of us felt like eating when mom came in around lunchtime and asked. It's now almost dinner time and I could tell we wouldn't get away with that again. If I know mom I know she won't let us skip another meal.

"I wonder how many of the others didn't eat either," Levi mumbled.

Still caring about others before yourself. I thought to him giving him a soft smile.

"Someone has to look out for them," he whispered.

Sure enough not even an hour later mom came knocking at the door. "Dinner time," she said. Before we could even try and shoo her away she glared at us. "And this time I'm not asking." We all let out some frustrated sighs. "If you're not out in 10 minutes I will drag each and every single one of you to the dining hall by your ears," she threatened.

"Noted, we'll be there," Levi said covering his ears. She gave a nod and left.

"That fear in your voice sounded like she's done it before?"

"Only once, but it was enough. Never again." he shook his head.

"Well you heard her," Jean said standing up. Just doing that looked like it drained all of his energy.

We all got up and walked to the dining hall. Everyone was here, even though most if not all of them looked like they didn't want to be. Which makes me wonder if mom gave them all the same warning.

We grabbed the bare minimum amount of food and took a seat at a table. Rico joined us almost instantly. "Hey," she said awkwardly, "I wanted to check in with you guys earlier, but when I didn't see you I assumed you weren't in a mood to talk."

Well, she was right about that we could barely get some words out to each other let alone full sentence.

"Being completely honest none of us are doing okay," Levi mumbled.

"I figured," she sighed, "do you guys want to talk about anything because I'm here to listen," she said and I felt as Levi's emotions ran through me... anger. What the hell?

"Stop that," he said through clenched teeth. Everyone's eyes shot up to see what the hell he was thinking.

Rico was just staring back at him like a deer in headlights. "Stop what?" She asked quickly.

"Those thoughts of yours. You really think that would make things better. Like hell it would," Levi said trying to calm down. "Everyone here would be equally as upset if you were the one who died," he said and I realized what was happening.

I mean we've all had those thoughts, what if it were me what if they killed me instead but that was last night when Levi wasn't paying attention. I guess today he is paying attention.

"But you don't know me like you knew her and if-," Rico was cut off.

"Stop. I don't care. Whether you realized it or not the second your team stepped foot in this building was the second you guys because part of the family whether we know a lot about you or not you are family."

She stayed quiet and just stared at him almost in disbelief. She just slowly laid her head down on the table. Levi took a deep breath and patted me on the back before getting up and sitting next to her. He put his hand on her back and started rubbing it. "It's okay," he said and I just smiled. Levi's hurting so bad right now, but he's still taking his time taking care of others even if he doesn't have enough energy to do so. That's the man I'm going to marry one day.

I watched him look up and look me in the eyes before giving me a weak wink to let me know he heard what I was thinking.

I watched as Mikasa, Annie, and Armin came in and they headed over and took a seat next to us. Armin was... smiling... why?

"Good evening everyone," Armin said, greeting us all with a hug. Something's not adding up. I locked eyes with Levi to see if he knew what the fuck was happening.

"He's trying to be overly positive so he doesn't break down," Levi mouthed to me. Okay, that makes more sense. Annie on the other hand was acting normal aside from the fact she wouldn't raise her eyes above ground level. Mikasa on the other hand looked so out of it and she was dead silent. She would be walking into things if Annie didn't lead her around. She led her over to the table and Mikasa sat down. She looked like she was running on autopilot with some assistance from Annie.

Sasha and Connie came up and sat at the other end of the table, their usual bubbly attitudes gone and replaced with just despair and silence. No one is their usual selves, then again did I really expect them to be.