Chapter 30

Bean Team Free Fall

(Unedited)

I fidget as I try to apply my eyeshadow in front of Christian's bathroom mirror. My fingers are not being able to try as I try to map out what Dryden would want to talk to me about. Prom was in two hours and in cliched teenage dramatic media. This is in the timeframe of when something goes wrong. With that thought, I give up all hope of getting any makeup done; sighing, then heading back to the bedroom to finish getting ready.

That was when intellect had other plans. "Puck," I hear Dryden's voice as he stands appearing at Christian's bedroom door frame. What crazy idea did Dryden have by calling me Puck? Before I could think of mentally asking any more questions, Dryden grabbed the eye shadow, drawing out the colours around my eyes.

"I wanted to apologise for being a dick. We've known each other since we were kids. Hell, I always thought it was ironic that your name is Luke and like Star Wars," he points out as he finishes putting the maroon-beige shadow, placing the brush on the side of the sink. His calloused hands were placed on my shoulders, turning me to face the mirror again as a pregnant silence set in the balance between us. Both of us are trying to piece together what to say to one another.

"I just want to know why?" I finally summon my words. The gravitational pull of childhood friends and traumas sitting in the balance. "If you knew I was gay," I start but the words end up in a standstill while mapping out what to say next. Dryden's hazel eyes mock the unsung adjectives and adverbs that I had insisted weren't there as we both take the time to admit the work that he had just done.

"You're my best friend, Luke. I found it ironic when we were kids how your name happened to be Luke that you liked Star Wars, and that you seemed to always blush at a young Mark Hamell. You always thought I didn't notice, or at least you assumed I hadn't noticed. I did. I always suspected that's not the point. Friends fight, yes, but friends also work on figuring out their sexuality and identities together. My point is; I was an asshole to you. I outed you when I knew your parents were and still are against everything gay, but dammit Luke; Christian Day is hardcore in fucking love with you," Dryden tells me as we stand there, still staring at the work he had done in the mirror.

A makeup masked version of Puck. A pair of glittered eyes shine as the light shines down on me. Purple hues swirl around my cheeks as they recedes to my curled hairline, making the vision even better. Christian could have done it, but as an acceptance of how much Dryden confessed that he had been a shitty friend, I had taken the makeup style. The Shakespearean-themed. tuxedo worked perfectly as Dryden proceeded to finalise the final touches. This was going to be a prom to remember.

"What do you say Puck, shall we find your Robin Goodfellow and make this a Midsummers Night Dream to remember?" he asks as my stomach twists and turns while leaving upstairs, then heading downstairs to where Linda undoubtedly has been with Christian. I thought I was ready. I wasn't so sure as I gulped down my doubt, following Dryden.

This was it.

Christian Hemsworth was going to prom as Puck and Robin Longfellow. Maybe I had fulfilled my freshman dream of being Puck. Maybe I hadn't, but seemingly I didn't care. I was happy. This was the last dance before I walked across that stage and got my diploma. The last dance before I moved to Vermont for college. Tonight was going to be the best damn night of my life. There was no turning back.

The euphoria of what was happening was prosperous. An eighteen-year-old who had gone through trauma of being outed by someone who I had known my entire life, and looking at his drop dead gorgeous boyfriend; yet the gravity of the surrounding air didn't feel like it should have. It wasn't the overthinking or the matter of Christian's secret smut books he had hidden in the corner of his bedroom; it was something else. "I should be hating you. Or maybe pretending that you didn't spend over an hour to get me ready, only to be late," I say as I look at Dryden. My words escaping every matter subject I had wanted to say right here and now. My encephalon worked through the maze of feelings that I didn't have upstairs.

"This isn't the place or time for this," I hear Christian tell me as he grabs my hand, trying to get me to stop whatever it was that I had on my mind right here and now. The glitter makeup surrounding his face hits the light at the right angle. His lavender dyed hair and blue eyes made me ease out of whatever anxiety or panic attack I had been headed for. Yet, I couldn't mold out of the mental health situation I had been headed for.

"Just hear me out," I tell Christian as I pull my hand out of his. "I want it out of my system. This right here is the one who had outed us," I add as I look at Christian one last time. He had to know the truth as to who had outed us to the world on social media. That seemed to get Christian's unspoken approval. "This is Dry. I don't care. I'm done caring, and the fact that you spent time turning me into Puck tells me that you do care. Maybe yes; you did a dickish thing outing us, but as much as I hate saying it," I tell Dryden as I look up at him. The dramatic friend situation between us is now coming to a teenage dramatic close. He now knew how I had felt. The angst of being outed. The problem with my parents, and how he seemed to accept me when they hadn't. No gay teenager or person should have to go through that. "Thank you," I tell him as I walk over, giving him a hug that I hadn't expected to do with myself.

"C'mon Luke Skywalker; we have a prom to get to," he tells me as he grabs his phone from his tuxedo pocket to take a selfie. "You as well Mr. Goodfellow," he adds as tugs Christian in for a kiss. "A prom and homophobic teenagers to piss off," Dryden adds as he finishes taking selfies and adding them to his Instagram tagging #bestpromever #mypromisbetterthanyours #beansforlife #hemsworthendgame #pansexualbitches #demisexualawareness. Then headed out to Christian's jeep.

******

Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit had been playing as we arrived; making me wonder just how our styles would fit into place with teenagers who had no idea what songs on this playlist would consist of and a few truncates of those who had seen 10 Things I Hate About You. Before I can let my mental health go on an overthinking rampage; Christian grabs my hand, wrapping me around himself as his lips land on my forehead, making me smile.

"You're glowing," Christian tells me. "Should I kiss you again? Or wait until they announce king and queen or however that works?" he asks me, giving me kisses on my earlobe. His lips teasing me, knowing exactly where this could lead. Hoping that we wouldn't do it here in the school gym, unless we could sneak away into the gym lockers, just adjacent to the double doors on the left. The fantasy of him smearing my makeup, as his lips kiss me from my face down, his usage of tongue as he teases me like he had before. Before I can carry that thought any further, him and Dryden are leading me out the door. My phallus is getting happy with excitement as I wonder why it would be with Dryden there, and there is no way I'd be down for a threesome with someone who's been my best friend since childhood; and there's absolutely no way I'm sharing Christian with anybody.

If this was a test of physics and anatomy, I wish to fail this test. This wasn't any of those smut books that Christian had hidden in the corner of his room. "Relax. It's just to get food. Dryden git rejected and decided to get high," I hear Christian tell me over the sound of Christina Aguileria singing about how she got stronger. A part of me had wanted to hear the story, yet a part of me hadn't. It was Dryden's story to tell. In between all of this, my phallus still seemed to want attention, starting to throb as I had ignored it, every time I looked at Christian.

I guess this reality was the best prom ever. I had preferred this version over the overrated king and queen version that they showed in cliched teenage media. This was the version I had wanted. The one where I hangout with my best friend. The one where I hangout with my boyfriend. This was the version that had made me happy.

"Sorry we didn't stick around after paying for tickets," I tell Christian as we leave Dryden in the car at Food Palace. "We should've stayed," I add as we step up to the kiosk to order Dryden some fries and a burger, adding a couple of slushes for us afterwards.

"It's just a dance, as I hate the name Chris," Christian tells me as he slides his card in for payment. "We went, we had fun, made memories. Dryden did at least getting stoned and getting the munchies," he adds. I hadn't looked at it that way, though I didn't ask him why he hated the name Chris and secretly wondered if he hated the name because it had something to do with when he was an addict. Velocity and Free Fall are funny like that sometimes. All it takes is those two things in life to fall in love with someone you didn't expect.

"Christian. Order 455," the lady bagging the food announces as I let what I had renounced in my head about physics, letting it sink in as I place my hand into Christian's, wondering what she had thought; ‌as we reached the car. Did or would it matter though? Physical and emotional science and trauma and chemistry of healing through mental health matters connected love and relationships. That's what the physical state of society defines love.

*****

"It's not any of my business, I just want to say that you two look cute together," we hear a female voice announce behind us. Her friends looking like they were having a good time together instead of doing what provisional society would define normal. She smiles as her cross necklace moves when she sways, and her curly burgundy hair flounces as she modifies her way back to her friend's group. "Your friend in the jeep looks cute as well," she calls back as she reaches her friend's group, as I place a kiss on Christian's mouth.

"His name is Dryden; like from the Solo movie," I answer back as I see her and her friends are still hanging outside laughing and most likely gossiping about whatever it was that girls gossip about on what is supposed to be a prom night. That was when I had an idea. I'd give her Dryden's Instagram tag, while hoping that he wouldn't hate me when he came off high stoner high.. The closer I get, the closer I see her Mandlorian wrist tattoo; noting that would be a Star Wars timeline tattoo that Dryden could get on board with.

"I've seen that movie. Least favourite in the cannon franchise," she starts, only to be cut off by one of her friends cutting her off in mid sentence.

"Rachelle let's go. We're going to be late," her friend proclaims as she gets in her car, starting it up without any further explanation. "You can flirt with his friend later," she adds; leaving me to wonder what it was that they were in a hurry for, though I wasn't going to be the one to ask. I'd just have to explain how Rachelle got Dryden's Instagram later. That still spinning around in my head as Christian and I walk to his jeep.

"Are we going to talk about how she was fangirling over your beaniness?" Christian asks as he places kisses on both my cheeks, as I lightly push him off, seeming as I knew where his kissing encounters mostly end up leading to. Which would have been fine if we weren't in a public place and had Dryden with us.

"We're calling it beaniness, now?" I ask as another Selena Gomez song pops up on the never-ending Christian playlist. My eyes meeting his. My stem getting hard again, wishing while Dryden is in the car, that it wouldn't. Christian and I would have to wait longer, as I was sure both of us were now regretting not getting some suckage in the locker room done. The image of the hot steamy showers were jocks who were secretly hooking up, as they mapped out their secret desires behind their girlfriends' or parents' backs, as I had done something similar with Christian at the beginning of the year. Looking back at it now, teenage sexual orientations and identities don't have to match what society or any social media tells you. The reality is: no matter who you are or what has happened in your past, you're still going to be judged by someone who has no idea what it's like to be you.

"I love you Bean," I tell him as I wrap myself around him. "We're a free fall endgame," I add as I place my lips onto his forehead, trailing it down to his mouth. The moans of Dryden coming out of him waking up from his nap, as he wore the high off. It had been a great moment until then. Any moment more, it would have started to get steamy up in the jeep.

"Well then, my precious bean, let's get Dryden home, then we can crash watching old school monster movies. Make it even more of a better prom night than what we started with," he tells me, as slides his finger down my cheek, making me smile. Making me want him more.

"You still owe me a Star Wars marathon," I tell him, shutting down his classic monster movie dream date. "Starting with Episode One. We'll order pizza," I throw in my intake of the perfect way to end our prom night that never happened.

As right on que, Dryden received a Instagram notification. Christian and I look at each other, laughing as we make a mental note to fill Dryden in later. "This girl is," Dryden starts, but then stops. "I think I know her from somewhere," Dryden adds as he continues scrolling through her profile. I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth, or if it was a reaction from him coming down from his high. Before we could shuffle anymore information out of him, he clicks his phone off.

That was the only information he would summon before getting back to Christian's house, only for him to crash on the couch, which we were surprised when Linda didn't say anything except to assume he had a long night, and remind that us that she had been a teenager once, which I was well determined that's what all parents or guardians must be required to tell us at some point.

******

The opening title of Phantom Menace pops up, as Tia brings up the pizza, stealing a piece from the box. "I'll leave you two lovebirds alone," she says before closing the door, and most definitely locking the door behind her. She's not too far from the truth really, as Christian throws me back on the bed cuddling me, grabbing a slice of pizza from the box, continuing to watch the young and future Darth Vader appears on the screen sporting his blonde hair and brown eyes, being determined that's he's going to be a Jedi. Which would be true until episode two.

"I have one question," Christian asks me, as he lays his head on my bare stomach, my arms wrapped around him. Before I can ask what it is; he's already asking. "Are you down for a road trip this summer?" he finishes with a smile as he looks up at me.

"Christian Day. I accept," I tell him as I kiss him on his lavender curls, my hands trailing down his back. Then turning off the light. What an incredible summer road trip it would be.  Sometimes all it takes fall in love is velocity and a gorgeous free fall.