Cher Jounal,
From now on, I will call you Rose, because you remind me of my love of my life.

I'm writing in my garden, with full of roses. I can smell the sweet aroma of my garden~ It is indeed a wonderful, sunny day, and my life is peaceful, which I'm hiding inside the bush to escape my boss and the horrible, disgusting of paperworks right now. Mon dieu!! It is never ending!!!! Ahhh, my prince charming, please save me from this horrible nightmare!!! I don't know how many princes I have, please don't do any bloodshed in the comment section, merci. After all, I don't want to clean all the messes you give me! If I died, at least I published the concepts and my feelings I got in Journal...

Oh Rose, why does loving someone is easy and hard at the same time? With all these chaotic emotions I got, why does the storm, which is inside of me, never shine through me and never see the sun? My heart keeps pounding, which it aches deep inside of my chest. In the chaos, in confusion, why does it keeps spinning around in unending cycle? Why do I keep choosing the wrong person I love? I only do is to keep living and smiling. Even though deep inside of me, it keeps throbbing in pain. All these facade, it's my only comfort and not letting my friends know what I feel because I don't want them to get worried about moi or getting hurt. I keep hoping...hoping to find what 'true love' means. Even though I'm known as a country of love, I know some of my categories of love is inexperienced about all these. *Chuckles in amusement*.

I envy the couples that surrounds me, but I always look at them in adoration. Even though most Nation calls me a pervert, I admit that I am, but I'm a harmless one, non?

Even though my heart continues to pump in me, my life continues to goes on. With all these hatred, anger, stress, remorse, and other negative emotions I got, the only thing I do is giving them in different kinds of love and to smile at them. Even though I keep giving them advice, why does some of them are stubborn to listen to moi? Our world not only revolves all around us, non? Think about the people's feelings, their respect, and their difficult situation they got. Those harsh words that keep spilling through our mouth, is a double-edges sword that feels like it keeps piercing us inside our heart. All these backstabbing or gossiping behind our back, feels like it keeps stabbing us repeatedly until we fall down. I admit, centuries ago, I feel amusement seeing people fall down, but not anymore because it's morally wrong now, non? For those who don't care for others, I'm not seeing you in hell, ohonhonhon!

Ahh, emotions is really dangerous, non? Whenever we're blind in anger or getting drunk, we will never know what actions that we do until it is too late and never will come back to us. Their relationships or lives got ruin by our actions or words. I even wonder...why do I keep writing this? Ahh, I guess I feel comfortable by writing my feelings and my perspectives, non? Thank you, my dear rose, for listening through my writings.

My dear Rose out there, I'll wait for you in return, non?

Hmm...I know what it feels to be broken-hearted, non? All these unrequited love, I already feel it. It hurts, non? Also, our beloved in our lives, suddenly disappeared into thin air. I feel I want to cry, non? I can't cry in public, but I can cry inside my home or suppress it deep inside my heart until the dam that I have built will be overflow as my consequences *Chuckles softly*.

Ahh, I must go on now~ I know life is difficult. Don't stop living. There's a wonderful road lies ahead which we didn't discovered yet. Think positive~ Always work hard until your work turns fruitfull. Believed in God as your comfort or savior. Life as a Nation is difficult, non? I saw bloodshed, betrayals, our love ones dying, war, torture, and Empires falling down. We're alive because of you people, but I won't even regret living, though~ I saw how life is precious to us! We will meet new people, friends, enemies, families, acquaintances, and strangers, which our life will change because of them. How wonderful is it, to see all the beautiful nature that looks like art!!! How wonderful it is to have fun while being alive. Even though we feel those emotions, it means we're human and alive.

I think it is my time to go. Au re-

Ohhh, mon dieu!!! I think I heard---

Journal Entrée # 5: To Be Continued (A)
[Journal Entry #5: To Be Continued (A)]