I have always believed there's nothing one can't achieve, or become if they have enough courage, if they have done enough hardwork,if they are brave enough to take risk and to accept both complements and criticisms coming their way. I have always been a firm believer of my own fate that reside in my hands alone rather than being dependent on an entity not visible to naked eyes. I have thus always believed to achieve, to become and to gain what I want by mere chance of ample hardwork and courage.

Maybe it was this unimaginable strength ,courage inside me that had always pushed me a little farther than I had ever wanted to venture. Maybe it was this want, this desire to be whatever I wish to be, may be it was this desire of mine to be wherever I wish to be or maybe it was this unforeseen pull of yours that pulled me to you, that had almost unknowingly begged me to come to you. Maybe it was this invisible but inevitable moment of life, that had made me thirst for something I have never thought I will. Maybe just maybe it was my inner desire or my curiousity,or your inevitable magnetism that had pulled me to you on the very first day I saw you.

Or maybe it was all of it. All of the world had come to conspire for two of wandering souls to meet on that fateful day. We met. I met you. You met me. Out of the seven billion people on earth, we met each other. Now you may call it a miracle, destiny, chance or whatever. But we met.

And that changed it all.

*****

I still remember how my heart had literally skipped a beat. Until then, I swear I have only heard of it, acted of it on dramas, but never in my life had it really happened to me. Not even when I had been tired, unusually upset, wistfully thinking of my parents and friends.  No not even then had my heart forgotten to beat. Even then it had remembered to beat with chest painfully tightening to remind me I was alone, lonely soul visiting lonesome people on the life's battle path. But my heart then hadn't skipped a beat, then furiously risen to strength and had pumped a miles long, making me wonder what kind of serious ailment had I been affected with. It had left me breathless, and yet my body had felt as if life within my veins had grown anew. My face had warmed up, fingers unusually itchy as if wanting to drum the beats,my feet no longer wanting to stay put, as if ready to dance through miles. My body, I had known was singing with joy, ready to dance to whatever music the soul played. And if I had been then a bit unsure, my brothers had made sure, I was right in my thought by declaring just how red my face had looked to them.

And I swore if they had then known the reason to my unusual behaviour wasn't the dance, the duty, but something as ethereal as you, they would have then and there declared me from a child grown to an adult.

Truly,it was all because of you.

You, whose beauty and heart were as ethereal and surreal as the stars in the night sky. You , who was standing there smiling ,laughing chatting with your friends. You, who hadn't then seen me. You, who had by then enchanted me with your beauty ,with your words, and with your kindest smile. You, who was brave in his softest smiles and kind in his fierce need. You, who had incomparably become my centre of attention from that moment on. You, on whom that 18 year old self of mine had inadvertently had a crush on. You, who had always been the only charming glow in my life except for my brothers and family. You, who had risen to fame and respect in my heart from the very first chance. You,whose unreal magnetism I failed to avoid. You, for whom I was scarily ready to throw all caution to air. You, who had from them become my one chanted notion.

Even till date,I swear Xiao Zhan Ge, I really dont know what had taken over me. As I said, some call it miracles, some call it destiny, to others it's love at first sight, to some it's soulmates finding each other. I really don't know what it was. Or what it is till now. But even in this haze and mess of a life, I have bravely come to define you and I as the only solid thing that shall remain even when this body perish.

Will you believe it now that I had always been looking at you,from the moment you have stepped in my life, like an unexpected warm breeze blowing down the cold in the alms? Will you believe me now when I say that it was no crush,no child's game, no teenager's hungry desire but a heart's call to another? Will you believe it now if I say our souls were waiting for a lifetime for our hearts to finally meet?

Truly like fate playing games, after so long of wanting to see your charming face, hear your sweetest voice, we finally met.

Under the summer days' scorching sun,two hearts beating in sync finally met once again. Like some fated strangers bidding not goodbyes, but greeting forever hellos.

Truly then I had realised again just how much hardwork one had to do to gain,or to become whatever one wishes to be. I remember even now, how my mind had been adamant on knowing the fame of playing the role but better than that my heart had been stubborn to meet the partner of the fame. To meet the partner of my role in the drama. To meet you.

As soon as  I had known you would be there, all confusions, anxiety that once had clouded my mind, faded away. With new found vigour, and a mind full of determination to meet and greet,I had ventured down the path of an unknown and now unforgettable love.

Yes, it was genuinely my one true love.

You are my one true love.

Mingling in the crowd, with a smile brighter than the moon at darkest night greetings everyone in his path, a heart full of reverence and love, you greeted me too without knowing the somersaults my heart had done, and the uncontrolled smile that broke on my face just by the thought of you. You hadn't known how deep my desire to be by you had run. You hadn't known I wasn't just a fan, a friend or a co star to you. For in my heart, you had already been the epitome of all love, care, and respect. You had been and always will remain the only one, other than my parents, I bow to, I treasure more, I care for and I love.

But, never in my dreams, nor in my wildest wishes, have I ever thought of you to promise to never leave my side. Never have I imagined that one day would come where I would be standing fiercely confessing my love to you and in return of all virtues I may have done in my past life, you came to reciprocate all of it. And maybe you stood there to reciprocate more than I had bargained for. You returned my love.

For then you had said, you love me too.

*****

I recall my heart beating fast, my mind being in haze, but soul ready to face whatever outcome to come my way. I had finally gained courage more than belief, and had finally told you where you stand in my eyes,where you reside in my heart. I had told you that I had loved you since the day I had seen you, my dear Zhan Ge.

Even then, I had made it clearer to both you and me, that I shall never force you for something you hadn't wanted us to be. That I still will never force you for anything. I can never do that to you. Thus I had made it clearer than the water reflecting our surprised faces, that I would have gone with whatever decision you would take.

And decisions you had made. Decisions and confessions, you had made so bravely, making me thanks all the stars for the first time in my world. For then you had promised to stand by me as well. No matter what.

You had then reciprocated my love too.

****

"I love you too, Bodi. " You told me with your warmest voice, as tears of joy trailed down my cheeks mirroring yours. And you and kept on saying thing I had never and I could never compare to have been. But you had seen me in all my grace, and in all my falls.

"I love you. More than you know. More than you can ever know. I don't know about you. But I love you. I don't know what you have seen in me. What you have found so admirable in this man standing before you. I don't what you had come to love and care for in me. In me, who has flows more than beauties. Who make mistakes, who is utterly ridiculous, getting attached readily, crying over and over for something very silly, forgetting norms and rituals to be. I don't know why you even think you love me. Because there's nothing comparable between the two of us. You are brave, matured, fierce, lovely, beautiful. Unlike me who can't speak up without thinking a thousand times about what may go wrong, you speak with so much conviction and dare, I come to admire so much. Above all this remains the fact, that I am so much older and maybe I am greedier than you. But still BoDi, I really dont know what you saw in me. What is it that you found so admirable? Even then,I am grateful you have come to love me. Thanks you. And wo aí ní. "

You had stuttered almost unknowingly, desperately, trying to cover your nervousness with a laughter I had come to associate with so well. That was then the last straw putting me in place. With all control lost, I had felt myself running forward, borrowing the wind and warmth as you had let me hold you close in my arms,letting me promise to love you for long. But you must have known with and without my words what you truly meant to me.

"Wó aí ní Gege. With all your so called flaws and true beauty. In my eyes you held no malice,no flaws. If by chance you have any, it's that you keep belittling yourself. You keep saying you aren't brave,not competent. When the truth is you are braver than you believe. Stronger than you know. Beautiful in your glow. You have the warmest heart I have ever seen. You accept me as I am. Never tried changing me to bend. You give your all to me. Keep on giving your all to us. And for that I love you more. Even though you keep saying you are older, but as I had said before age truly is just another number. It doesn't mean anything to me. And shouldn't mean anything to you either. You may be older. But that will never stop me from giving my all to you. All in all,Zhan Ge thanks you for letting me love. Thanks you for loving me too. "

That had marked a journey from inevitable meeting, to a promise of never parting without the others by our side. It had from then had settled in my heart like a rule craved in stones, that from then whatever comes, I ,Wang Yibo, shall protect, love and care for you with the deepest, most sincere traces of mine.

I had sworn to do so then. And I am doing it now. I will keep on giving my best if only it will keep you safe.

*****

But as they say, each of our decisions must go through trials only to know how strong, how firm , how determined we are in our belief of what is wrong and right. One must face many obstacles in the path to achieve the safest of haven, in order to be what they want, to be where they want to be.

I have always got whatever I have wished for. Maybe the world has already spoilt me too much by giving me all that I have ever wanted, that I was sure you will be by my side too, without any conditions.

Even though it wasn't us who set those barriers, but this world that always refuse to accept anything other than what it had thought of as 'normal'.

Thus, obstacles in the face of both toxic fans and defiling supporters came to face us. They challenged our very beings. Those rascals dared to throw dirt on your face, on you. They dared to sullen our names together. Those human, who never took our lives into matter instead only thought of us as mere games and toys for them, I ask you now Gege, how dare they speak of our relationship in any light they thought was right. I ask all the media, the officials, the colleagues, how dare those bastards speak of my Gege and I in lights of hatred, in cage of sullen fame, when they know nothing sort of our life? When they haven't seen how you had cried, fought and stood of from dirt, to rise and shine like a phoenix singing from his ashes, how dare they speak ill of you?

How dare they say I don't care about you? How can they say that I have taken you for granted? 

Just because unlike them, I can't show my love for you openly, they declare my love defeated and defected. Just because they think the love in secrecy is false, they thought of our love as a lie. How dare they? Who gave them the right to speak of us in light of such insolence? I ask all of them, in which book, in which rule or statement has it been spoken, that the love one can't declare to the world ,one thinks is useless but declare the love to the person they hold closest to their soul, is false. In what way is that love false, which make one think of the other in every breath, in every second. In what way is that love fake which make one want to protect the other at all cost, make one want to love and cherish the other, make one love all flaws and beauties alike, make them grow better together. In what way is such a love false.

Just because they are able to curse and love you as they want, they declare I have never cared for you Gege. They told me I have taken you for granted. They had told me, cursed me before as well. They had tried to pull me down to dirt before as well. But I am telling you this, my heart had never been so crestfallen. My mind had never before felt so enraged. I have never been so restless, and reckless. Even when you had kept on saying to not interfere, to not say a word, to not help you out of your mess, even when you had told me it was better to not see you in flesh and bone, even when you had told me it was all for me,even when you had told me my words gave you courage, in those moments Zhan Ge, I swear I have never been more tempted before to risk it all and speak my heart out. My soul was begging me to let it all go and tell the world the truth of it all. And let me face the consequences all over.  It would have been better, my heart kept saying. It kept on mumbling to face the consequences of my love, once and for all.

I have told you this Gege, I will tell you now as well. That I can take whatever comes my way , can face every storm, every mountain, can take thousand curses and still not say a word. But I am sorry, when it comes to you, when it comes to our love, when other questions my sincerity,my love, for you, when they curse you, I can't just sit still and watch. My blood boils, my heart raged,my mind can no longer choose what is right and wrong. All at those moments I wish to do is perish all such sources that ever though of harming you. At those moments all I want to do is hide you. Hide you where only I can reach you,protect you with whatever I have. At those moments, even your kindest words to me seem like you are trying to cut your own life to protect mine,which I can't let happen. It pained me to see you crying, taking all burden on yourself. It pained me so much to hide what we truly feel. But I will do it if only it promises me to keep you safe. I will do it to let you have wings so you can be free. I am ready to give it all up if only it promises me to keep you safe, wherever you wish to go.

Even then, in my rage you never once backed away. Instead like you promised you stood there, you loved me, backed me up, and gently soothed my soul .

"Wang Yibo, my Bodi. Be a good boy now and listen to your Gege properly. All of this  is for you. Remember Zhan Ge always loves you. But you must refrain yourself from going straight ahead into the tiger's den. It will be better for you to stay put and stay away. For now focus on your shoot. Focus on yourself. It's already enough for me, that you are standing here by my side. That you kept on giving your very  best to protect me , to shield me away. Thus, the only thing now I want of you is to protect yourself as well. Don't do anything stupid. Do you understand? Don't make me worry anymore for you. Don't be reckless. Think carefully like you always do. Don't just act upon your impulse. Will you do that for me? You will, I know. "

You knew I was reckless, you knew I wouldn't be able to contain my rage, yet you said you trust me like you always do. And just like that infront of your kind smile,heartfelt words, I could only nod. But I could never promise you what you had asked of me.

Instead I did what I knew I was best at. The things only I could do. The things that only I can do to show you my love. To shut them all up,to tell them to never question you. To never question our love.

I did what only I am good at. From then and there, every step I took your name was singing in my heart. From then and there , every time I breathed I thought of your smile in the air, in my songs your name was spoken a thousand times maybe in subtle ways but it was in there,while dancing I imagined you laughing by my side,I imagined you as my clumsy and sweet partner, in every picture, in every words I spoke of on media it only had brought one thought with it. The thought was you. It will always be you, Zhan Ge. In numbers, I will scream to the world of my love for you. I don't care anymore what they think. I don't care anymore for I know it well, those who love you shall always love you. And those who hate you,will always find reasons to curse you no matter how better you grow.  Thus, I chose this path of mine, where I shall be the one to prick my feet, and let my blood be your softest carpet where you shall set your feet. Thus I chose this path, to trace them all and defeat them all with the love I have for you. They don't need to know now what we mean to each other. They don't need to know if we care, hate or love each other. The truth for them should remain hidden if they so wish to take you from me. They shall thus be in the dark for as long as they want. But you don't need to worry, for this love of mine for you shall last aeonian. I will keep showering you in love, with whatever else you wish for. I will do my best to give it all to you.

And I have done my all. If not my best, I had still tried. And I will keep on doing so until all raised to red flames to greet you with respect again. With time passing by, you and I had met less in flesh and bone. And only memories of chanced conversation had remain. But even in that painful feeling of Saudade, I had seen those hateful hindrances passing away, losing their sources slowly, gradually fading away. For lies don't have wings to fly, and truth can't remain hidden for long.

*****

With things coming a bit under control, I know you thought your BoDi was going beyond control. But Zhan Ge, you couldn't have possibly thought or wished that I, the lover of the most charismatic, beautiful, kind person living on earth, was not going to celebrate his lover's birthday without a grand success?

But now that I think back to it. I don't think it was really that great of an idea. No idea is good enough if it ended up making you worry and tired on your birthday, Zhan Ge. For that, I am sorry. I shouldn't have done it. I should have listened to you to not push myself too much. But even if I am saying this now you and I both know, if given a chance I might have done more than that, more outrageous, more foolish, and all too more risky. Because all risks taken to make you smile aren't yet enough. They will never be rightfully enough.

Trust me though, I have really really thought that I could easily chance upon my fate just to see you cheering, applauding and smiling like thousand stars had come to greet you. I had really and truly wanted to see your beautiful smile on the most beautiful day of yours. Unfortunately, I am just as you said, still a child , who knows only how to wish but couldn't take it calmly when people trampled over my own wish.

It was your most important day,that should have been the most delightful day of yours. After so many hardships and hatred, the sun was finally bright in our sky. The clouds had finally left the sky to clearly show a bright blue hidden there. But because of me, all of it was ruined. I am so sorry.

Even though you had told me to be careful, to be cautious and even though I had promised to give shine brighter as you wished me to, all that was left in my hands were defeated and crushed mirth and wishes. 

The moment I had kissed the pendant, the moment your cheerful voice and sweet smile had appeared in my mind, the moment I had tracked down the road on my motorbike, my heart was baffled a bit but my mind was sure the victory would be ours. But now it only seemed the wistfulness of a child wishing for the moon. If only the hatred and envy of others weren't so severe, if only they had been competitive enough to want to secure a place on their own, if only they hadn't used such underhanded methods to win,I swear Gege, I would have taken it all down and reached the stars as you had wished. I am so sorry for that as well.

The anger inside me at that moment had suppressed the pain of falling down, scratching my hands, wounding my soul. Because the anger was then directed both to those lowly souls and towards myself as well. I had been helpless in reaching out to what I had wished to gift you. I had wanted you to be proud of me. I had wanted you to smile more brightly for me. I had been too greedy in my wishes. Because I had wanted to be the only one in your eyes,heart,mind,and soul.

When my anger had refused to sate, when my cries had refused to calm,when the waves inside me had threatened to drown my conscience, it was you, your softest whispers, your warmest embrace finally enveloping me in your arms after so many days, and your kindest smile that calm me, paced my soul, sated my anger,comforted my very being and welcomed me back home.

*****

"You silly baby," I remembered your calm voice chiding me softly, as I had laid my head upon your lap, your fingers softly running through my hair. " You didn't need to go this far to make me happy. Just having you by my side,is enough for me. Even you thinking of going as far as to win and dedicate it to me, is enough for me. I already know Bodi, that you are always thinking about me, always keeping me close to your heart, always protecting me, guarding me, never leaving my side. Even when we are far from each other, we are never really separated. For you always think of me. Truthfully speaking,you too are always present in my thoughts. In my heart. I know just what I mean to you. You don't need to go and uncover all risks to show that to me. All you need to do is be safe. And I will know what I mean to you. You don't need to go and risk your very being to prove that to me. You should know that very well. I have already seen you giving your all to protect me,to safeguard me. You have already done enough to help me grow. You don't need to do more. Just be safe, just keep on smiling,just be here with me. And I won't need anything anymore. Having you here,by my side, like this, warms my heart in ways I can't explain. It all thanks to you Bodi, that I have come so far. That I have finally made it here ,have grown up so much. Thats why you don't need to risk your being to prove anything to me. From now on I want you to do things that make your heart feel happy. I want you to be greedy for your sake. I will then too have something to repay you with. I want to support you too. Just like you always do for me. I want to be the one you look up to too. So chase your dreams BoDi, and remember your Zhan Ge is always here , guiding you, supporting you, loving you. Together we will grow. You don't need to waste your energy on thinking about others. Didn't you say it to me? To not think of how lowly people can be, but to focus on doing what we are supposed to do. I am always here. So don't worry. Don't give up,my Bodi.

Above all else you must know, you stupid boy,for me, you are already the number one. The one and only star. My brightest star. You are the only one that truly reside in my heart, mind and soul. You are the coolest guy in my eyes. The most precious gem. My beloved,BoDi. No one, and I mean no one can keep us apart . Not even we ourselves.

Remember Yibo, you don't need to do anything to prove anything to me. You are already everything to me.

Zhan Ge aí ní. "

And just like that, you had lifted my spirit once again. Just like that you taught me to be brave once again. You had kept on saying my words saved you. While the truth was, it was all along you who saved me.

*****

The moments of tragedy passed. With new days, came new opportunities to make everything better. And with that came your birthday,the day this earth was graced with the most ethereal child of all, who had remained true to his soul,pure and untainted even through all the mess you had to go through. And you silly Gege of mine gave the credits for your bravery to me. I stood there thinking how to make you understand it was all along you, who was brave,kind and beautiful. When at times, you had failed to see that yourself, I merely went out to show you your own beauty through my eyes.

Just like that you had smiled. Wishes and virtues were then completed.

And with another step taken we had reached our paths together. We leapt forward to future.

But even then, those lowly scumbags had kept on crawling beside you,trying their level best to pull you down. But they hadn't then known , the king's Knight had all but seen their hideous paws a long time ago. They hadn't known, the Knight was ready to risk it all to protect its King at any cost.

The Knight had done just that.

I tried everything in my control to safeguard you from them. From shuffling and making false routines, to letting us have only one room to share, to letting all guards in your care, I was ready to face them all. Without you saying it , I had known that I wouldn't have been allowed to even chance a look upon you once we have been in the periphery of cameras. So I have done my best to refrain myself. But Gege, it wasn't fair ,and you know it too. It wasn't fair for them to be able to show their support but not me. I am sorry for being so greedy. But you should have known it was only you who have spoilt me so.

Then again , I couldn't have been more glad. I know I was sulky, angry, and pouty to not have been able to tell you of my heart freely on there. I couldn't control those stolen glances,those heartbeats trying to reach you. Yet, I was glad you have finally seen what you meant to us, what you meant to them, and what you meant to me. Now you have finally known, you are loved , supported by many, treasured by all. And I could not have asked for more. Yet I did ask for more. I couldn't then just control myself.

When I saw you up there on stage, ready to sing and bestow all with your angelic voice, holding up your tears, controlling them, overcoming your fears on seeing such enormous love and support, the relief flooding your face, and the smile gracing your lips, I couldn't just hold it in. I had to tell them all that I love you Zhan Ge. There was this desire then inside me boiling to tell I belong to you, and you to me. I had wanted then nothing more than to throw all cautions to air, and be there on stage,hug you ,kiss you and tell you wo aí ní.

I knew I couldn't do that and that had made my heart sobbed a bit. But the very next second,when your eyes had found mine in the mess of it all, when you had cheered me on,your grin so bright had told me that only one remains in your heart. That only I was yours and you mine. That only I remain yours and you mine.

*****

By being in love with you, I have been taught of thoughts and of world I haven't yet seen. You taught me to love, to give without ever asking. You taught me there exists such a love that demands nothing but love. You taught me that when we are in love, it's not that we don't let the other fall. Rather we let them fall, and then kneel down to them to show them how to get up themselves. In love , you and I have taught each other to love ourselves by loving each other.

Keeping true to your name, my dear Zhan Ge, you fight all obstacles, all torments, rising like a phoenix from the ashes of its remains. And with that you gave me strength, you provided me my true safe haven, my home, my love.

Now the only thing that remains is a time to come, to create where you and I will be united together,letting the whole world know of our love growing for each other with each passing second.

Now only remains a time I am waiting for, where I could cheer, and scream again and again to the world, that I , Wang Yibo, love, Xiao Zhan.

With you standing by my side, smiling at me,looking at me, confessing your love as well,I can see summer days,winter nights,spring's breeze, and rain's shelter, holding us together in their frame.

With you, I find myself growing better,braver, happier than ever before. Thanks you, for giving me this chance to love you and protect you.

But this is not the end of the story. It's just the beginning. We have a long way to go still. After all we are still so young. So much there remains, for both of us to uncover together. But one thing stands like steel and shall remain forever. That we are in this together.

Finally, your heart reciprocates my love,and from there begins our story....

A/N: This chapter isn't proofread. If anyone encounters any mistake,please do tell me. Thanks you so much for taking time to read the story. Happy Wattpad journey. Stay safe. ( ◜‿◝ )♡(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤