but mama,
I wasn't afraid of dying
I was afraid of living
a life barely hanging
onto a wall of no return.

I was afraid of letting my demons
devour me like a prey
becoming so helpless as I scream so loud
louder than a thunder I must say

you see,
I wasn't afraid of finding my own grave
in the misdt of this unending cycle of misery
for honestly, everyday felt already
like my death anniversary.

-c.v.