Age: 15

Sitting at my desk was exhausting.

That was probably the most outrageous statement ever, but it was true. Being at school was exhausting, life was exhausting, keeping up pretenses were exhausting. Especially when I noticed Kelly looking at me, then giggling to her friends. 

And that was why I stayed quiet in the past when people asked who I liked. Firstly, because the answer was always 'no one' and I couldn't explain that, especially when I didn't know why. Secondly, because this was high school and word got around quick when it came to things like that. 

So, of course Kelly knew I "liked" her. Declan or Jason probably told her themselves to test me, knowing she would now expect me to ask her out. What else was there to do when we both "liked" each other? 

That was why after class when Kelly came up to me and asked for my number, I couldn't say no. I couldn't make up a lie. It was too late for that and now I had to deal with the consequences of my words. 

That was how we started texting each other every day. That was how she ended up asking me out. That was how we became boyfriend and girlfriend. 

Because what was I supposed to say? That I didn't find her pretty at all? That I had never found any girl pretty? 

If I said those things, she would think I was gay. 

However, I didn't find guys good looking either. Plus, my parents and the church said that being gay was a choice. A sin. 

So, why would I have chosen that? I wouldn't.

But, I didn't know how to explain why I felt the way I felt. I didn't want her to think I was weird and tell the whole school. I hated being that way. I hated being abnormal.

Why couldn't I just be like every other guy who gets hard over girls?

***

-A/N-

QOTC: Do you have a favorite song of all time?