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After we left the restaurant, Wes offered to take me to my dorm, but I sucked up my pride and asked if I could stay a little longer. We stopped off and got a tub of ice cream before he took me back to his apartment for a movie.  

I lay in front of the tv, my head on a pillow next to Wes' lap. We weren't talking much but that was fine with me; I was tired and content to have him sitting next to me while his hand played with my fingertips when he wasn't holding the ice cream and spoon.

"What do you think?"

"About what?" I shoved a spoonful of mint chip ice cream in my mouth because that's all we could agree on.

"Melanie ends up with Andrew or Jake?"

"Obviously she ends up with Jake," I scoffed.

"I like Andrew better." Wes frowned.

"No, no. I'm only going to say this once. Andrew is played by Patrick Dempsy, who plays Derek on Grey's Anatomy. Patrick Dempsy is not allowed to marry any other fictional character other than Merideth Grey."

"What are you even talking about?" Wes asked in complete confusion. 

"Because I like you, sweetie," I lifted a spoonful of ice cream to his mouth which he took happily, "I have to introduce you to the beautiful world of Grey's Anatomy."  

"You're such a dork but back to the movie... he's her ex! She left him because he's an ass. I mean, look at the way he's talking to her." Wes swept his hand towards the tv in emphasis. "They can't end up together!"

"She's being a pompous bitch, he's just dishing it back out."

Wes sighed heavily and shook his head like he was trying to shake off an unwanted thought. "Jake is stupid and you should think so too. People aren't supposed to go back to their exes."

I frowned, realizing Wes was talking about more than the movie. "Wes..." I set the tub on the coffee table and turned on my stomach to look up at him. 

"You aren't allowed to go back to Trevor for any reason. Or any other stupid guy," he told me sternly, crossing arms.

"Whoa!" I sat up and wrapped my hands around his tense forearms. "Why would I do that? He's a dick and he's several states away. I don't even plan on making up with my mother why would I do that with him? I'm not an idiot." 

Wes sighed. "Yeah..." he grumbled, "but you're always picking up and leaving. How do I know you won't-"

"Wes," I said sternly, "Wes, that's a movie, this isn't." I watched him, my eyes flying across his face, looking for his understanding. "We're good. Aren't we?" I tugged at his arms, helplessly.

He looped an arm around my neck and pulled me into kiss my forehead. "Of course."

I leaned in towards his lips with a smile. "Wait," I said, pulling away to look at him before our lips met. "Have you never seen Sweet Home Alabama?" I asked incredulously.

He scoffed down at me. "Do I look like the kind of guy who watches chick flicks on his free time?"

I shrugged and bit my lip. "I don't know what you're into and you're watching it with me now."

He flicked my forehead. "I'm watching it for you, dork. I doubt I'd watch this shit for anyone else. And for the record," he added giving me another quick peck on the cheek this time, "I'm into you."

I was blushing too much, so I tucked myself under his arm and tugged at his legs that were hanging over the side of the couch.

"What are you doing, Val?" he chuckled, looking at me in confusion.

"I need you legs up here," I mumbled. 

"How come?" he smirked but complied and swung his legs onto the couch and so we could lay next to each other.

"Just trying to get comfy." I wrapped my arm around him with my head on his chest.

"You know," he said, shifting around and wrapping his arms around me to hug me closer, "you're funny."

"How so?" I yawned.

"Well, you're not much of a snuggler or a toucher for that matter, but when you're tired, you are the biggest cuddler in the world."

"Am not," I mumbled. 

"You are but I like it," he ran a hand down my head and through my hair. "Most of the time," he added.

"Shut up," I laughed into his chest. I liked being there, rising and falling with his chest. 

By the time the movie ended, I was tired so I figured it wouldn't hurt if I took a little nap in his arms before I called a cab. My eyes were heavy and I was half asleep when something hard hit my temple and bounce off. "Shit!" I leaned up sluggishly, my hand rubbing my face as I looked over Wes and the side of the couch to see where Wes' phone lay on the ground. "Wes," I groaned.

His eyes were open and watching me but he looked confused and half asleep. "What?"

"Were you asleep? You dropped your phone on my face."

"Seriously?" He reached out to remove my hand and inspect. He sounded asleep but his look of remorse said otherwise. "Sorry, Val. You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I grabbed his wrist to keep him from my face but instead, I just held it; I liked his touch.

"Come on," he pulled me to his chest once he was sure I was fine. 

"No," I put my hands on his shoulders, "no, it's late and I should call a cab. I shouldn't have stayed this-"

Wes hummed, putting a hand on the back of my head and smashing me against him and hugging me defiantly.

"Wes, you're hugging me uncomfortably," I grumbled with my cheek squished up against his solid chest. He started to tell me he didn't want me driving so late at night but I stopped him. "I won't be driving if I call a cab."

"Well, I'm not loosening my grip until you say you aren't leaving."

I grumbled under my breath. Wes wanted me to stay the night, so did I and I knew better than to let myself be pulled into a night. But he tugged so sweetly and I was so tangled in him, I let myself relax, making myself more comfortable, relishing in his warmth, and the lull of his heart. "I'll stay a while longer but I can't stay all night." His arms loosened to a comforting hold and I could hear his heartbeat accelerate as I absentmindedly used my pointer finger to trace incoherent patterns on his neck and shoulders.

I liked the way it felt. He was steady. Solid but soothing, and he held me like there was nothing else he would rather be doing. I still couldn't help but think there was.  

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I woke up with my arms wrapped around whatever I was laying on top of. I took a small breath and immediately recognized the familiar scent belonging to Wes. Wes, feeling the change of my breathing, moved his hand from my butt and began running a hand up and down my back.

"Shh," he hushed as I moved my head from his shoulder and buried my head into his neck, lazily pressing my lips to his skin. "Shh," he whispered again before he kissed my shoulder, "You can sleep."

I took a notice of my position because I didn't remember falling asleep like that. My arms were wrapped around his head and my fingers were tucked into the hairs at the top. I was lying directly on top of him, with my legs on either side of his waist as he caressed my back. I think he had his phone in the other, looking at it over my shoulder.

This was exactly what I told him to do, what I told him I needed, so I focused on him. I let his heartbeat thump through his chest and into mine, against my own, until I couldn't separate the two. I just let myself feel. I followed his hand across my back as it traced patterns. It seemed random at first, his finger dancing across the expanse of my back and up my spine, gently dragging my shirt up a little at a time. But after a while, I realized it didn't seem too random. I started to follow his finger more closely. He drug it up my back, then across, around, down and across again, then he made a circle, He was spelling something.

O.

U.

I.

I, no there was only one cross, it's an L. O, U, I, L...

O.

U, no, V.

E.

Y.

O.

U.

I.

L.

O.

V.

E.

Y.

O.

U.

No, that's not what he's writing. It has to say something else.

What else could it say?

Fuck You?

But he didn't, he spelled it out on your back very clearly. 'I love you'.

I gasped and pushed myself up away from his neck. I grabbed his waking wrist and pinned it to our sides to keep him from tracing more on my skin. It startled Wes but he grabbed my hips to steady me so I didn't roll off of him. "Shh," Wes rushed out trying to calm me. 

"Don't," I snapped. 

"It's okay, Val. Look, it's just me. We're just in my room. You fell asleep earlier on the couch," he explained. "Did you have a bad dream?" He squeezed my hand in comfort. Did you have a bad dream?" He brought his hand from my hip to my face and tucked the hair that was draped around our faces behind my ear.

It wasn't a bad dream at all.

"Wes," I breathed out. I dropped my head next to his again. 

He wrapped the arm that I didn't have pinned down around my waist and kissed my ear. "You fell asleep on the couch but when I picked you up to bring you in here and let you sleep, you wouldn't let go. You were wrapped around me like a second skin so I just let you be. I told you you're a really big cuddler."

"I don't mean to be a bother," I mumbled.

"You're not a bother. I like that you won't let go of me."

"Oh, Wes," I sighed before lifting my head to look at him.   

"What?" He whispered, brushing his thumb over the knuckles of my hand in his. "What is it?" he asked, searching my face when I didn't answer him.

He felt familiar. "It wasn't a dream." He wrote it so clearly on my back, it left my head spinning as the bed tipped. I did and I didn't want to be wrong about it, but I knew what he wrote.

"Tell me." He nodded his head in assurance.

"I've been awake for a while now."

He chuckled. "You just like squishing me and having your butt rubbed?"

I moved so I could look at his whole face. I needed as much confidence as I could get when I said the words. "I know what you wrote."

"What are you talking about?" He said, pulling his face away from me.

I felt a pang of in my chest at his retreat. "I know what you wrote on my back," I said more firmly as I sat up, still straddling him.

"You know I..." Wes took his hand off my hip to lean in his elbow. A lump formed in my throat and my eyes welled with tears I refused to shed when he ripped his hand from mine to run in through his hair and down his face. "That's not what I wrote- I- Val, I- I didn't mean for you to know- "  

I shook my head. "Don't even try to deny it, "I choked out. "I've spent the past fifteen minutes trying to tell myself otherwise. I'm quite sure of what you wrote."

"What did I write?" He challenged.

I clenched my jaw. "Something I want you to keep to yourself."

His eyes widened and I knew it hurt him to hear- it hurt to say- but I didn't mean it that way. I just had difficulty processing the sentiment I wasn't ready for. Things had a time and a place and this was not the time for such a confession. I wasn't ready nor prepared for it.  

I cradled his cheeks in my hands. My skin was cold against his skin and he leaned into my touch despite the deep frown on his face. "I'm happier than I've been in a long time, Wes. I feel like I can be comfortable with myself. I finally feel like I'm enough and that I always have been."

"Of course you're enough." He growled.

"But there are other things that I need. And I told myself- I told myself so many times that I would never allow this to happen again."

He placed his hand on my thigh "But here we are." 

"Here we are," I sniffled. I loved the way it felt to be pressed against him but that still didn't seem to matter. "You know, maybe I should get going."

"You're not driving home, Val. It's late and I don't want you driving like this."

"I'm fine." I wasn't at all.

"I don't want you going anywhere."

"I'll be fine."

"I'm sure you will be," he grabbed my chin and tugged me towards him, "but I want you to kiss me for a while."  

He pulled at my chin, his breath fanning my face. His brown eyes were darker, and his pupils were dilated as he stared intently at me. I felt trapped but he was warm and I knew he saw me. I looked at his shadowed face, the birthmark beneath his left eye, his charmingly misshapen nose, and those cracked lips. Separately, one would think they were flaws, but he wouldn't be Wesley Artwood without those imperfections. They make him. Wes wasn't perfect, he was overbearing and protective, intrusive, angered and hurt easily. He was fragile, as we all were in our own, backward ways.

When his lips met mine, or maybe my own meet his, I wasn't quite sure but at that point, I wasn't bothered to care. His kiss was as light and feathery as if he was afraid I would fly away. And maybe I would have, but I don't think I could've been any higher than I already was.

The kiss deepened. Each nip, suck, push of our lips sent thousands of wings beating through my belly and allowed me to forget to breathe for a little longer. When Wes broke from my lips moving instead to my neck, I sighed not wanting it to end, not wanting to come down from any of it.

I gasped when he nipped my shoulder and ran his tongue along the same spot. "Okay, okay stop," I laughed. I pulled his face back so he was looking at me. I wanted to feel his lips on mine again. "I'll stay but this can't go any further."

"Deal," Wes smiled, "but can we make out some more?"

I bit my cheek and cocked my head like I had to think about if I wanted to keep kissing him. Of course, I wanted to. 

"I even bought a chapstick." He grinned slyly.

I leaned in and laughed against his mouth. "Well, how could I say no to that?"

Squealed as Wes grabbed my hips, flipping us over and continued kissing me hotly.  

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I was a little disoriented when I opened my eyes until I realized I was tucked into Wes' sleeping from. He had no shirt on. By my lack of clothing and the flood of memories from before I fell asleep, I knew he wasn't wearing any pants or underwear under the blanket draped over us. His legs were tangled with mine, as they seemed to always find each other, and his arm was draped lazily around my bare shoulders. His hair fell messily across his forehead into his eyes. 

"Shit," I breathed.

I watched him for a while, the way his muscles tightened and relaxed with every breath. I kissed below his shoulder, watching as his muscle ripple beneath his skin. I was happy. This is what I'd moved away from California to be. I had found something I wanted and enjoyed enough to hold onto, but I knew, this is how it started last time. I'd been fooled into something and become attached. I'd been tricked into heartache and I couldn't allow that again. How could I sit around and let myself be dragged under? It had already happened one too many times.

Flight.

I slowly got up from the bed, careful not to wake Wes and start to pull on my clothes. It didn't work. 

"What are you doing?"

"Shit." I turned around to Wes squinting in my direction, "I'm trying not to wake you."

"But why? You can stay, you know. Stay."

I looked around the room, at his abandoned clothes from last night. The comforter was discarded to the floor too, the only thing remaining to keep us warm was a blanket and the heat of out bodies. His hair was disheveled and I saw his skin was scattered with marks-as I'm sure my own had- making me blush.

"I should go." Was it really a good idea to walk away again? Was I okay with leaving someone who'd become so important to me? But ultimately, it seemed my best option. "No. I should go," I repeated as I grabbed the rest of my clothes I hadn't bothered to put on underneath my sweatshirt and pants. 

"Is it because we had sex?" he asked as he sat up.

"No," I denied, looking for my flipflop. "Actually, yeah, it kinda is." I slipped my feet into them where I found them both by his nightstand.

"Hey, Val."

I stopped. "What, Wes?"

"You're allowed to walk away sometimes, I see that now. I guess you need to take some time to go and figure some things out, but don't take too much time, please."

I sighed as I looked down at the floor for his comforter. Before I walked out of his room, I brought it over to his bed. "I have to go." I tugged it over him so I could kiss him on the cheek. "Goodbye."

"I'll see you later," Wes said but it came out as a question I wouldn't answer, so he pulled me down again and kissed me heavily as he held my waist and I grasped desperately at his neck and shoulder. 

"Wes," I pulled away. I felt myself deflating as he complied and let me go.

I was thankful he didn't try to persuade me to stay, though. I wouldn't know what to do if he had. I think he knew, at least I hope he understood why I had to go. I needed to figure out how I felt about him exactly. Because last night didn't change things, it only complicated our feelings, my feelings. I walked away again because I cared enough about him to not use him any more than I already had. I wished to separate myself from him for a moment. 

He grabbed my face, brushing his thumbs along my cheekbones. "Don't run again, Vienna. Take time but don't run. Please."  

I knew Wes had deep feelings for me. I couldn't believe it was love, though, because love only came with knowing a person and Wes didn't know me, nor did I know him. There were parts of him that I loved, and I was sure there were parts of me that he loved, but I had to decide if that was enough. So did he. 

I saw Wes, a naive, caring boy and I latched onto the affection he showed me like I always did. Wes was my band-aid. He soothed the bruises of grief, healed the cuts of anguish, and faded the scars of neglect. I didn't love Wes. I couldn't. I loved what he did for me. He helped show me that I could be loved. So I needed to decide if we could make this work or if this was a Florence Nightingale story where the feelings fade when we're confronted with reality.

Flight.

Yet, maybe I was giving him too much credit. Maybe he wasn't the boy that fixed my wings and showed me to fly with bravery for once, he was just the boy to show me that I had been all along.

All I had left to figure out was how a person was supposed to go on alone when their heart and soul are painstakingly enchanted by a person like Wes? Did I need to? Did I want to?

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a/n

I know this feels like they're kind of moving backward again, but there is one more chapter left so let's see what happens. Hopefully, I'll post it Saturday but Idk. Maybe I'll post it Friday we'll see.

*I switched chapter 25's banner and this chapter's banner because I used the wrong one. oops.

And I love that everyone loves Wes and Wes and Vienna, but remember not to get too frustrated with her. It's her character because it's how she learned to protect herself growing up... I do love the mini-rants about her agonizing hesitation, though, because I definitely feel xD

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