a/n

I'm feeling inspired this weekend and it's making me over eager and generous. plus the last chapter and was a cruel place to leave y'all hanging. So here is chapter 13

❀𓅰❀

  ❀𓅰❀  

The day after my outburst at Wes', my lousy mood didn't diminish nor did it slip unnoticed by Ida. She asked a few question until Jerry shut her up. She didn't provoke me after that, though, just warned me to be nice to the customers.

I wasn't just moody, though. I was pissed with myself. Humiliated for not only saying those things to Wes but that I was insecure enough to feel them. I knew part of it was because I brought the fight with my mom into the apartment that night and took out more of my anger on him. I completely pushed him away. I didn't want to get close to him in the first place- I shouldn't have- but I did and now, I was left alone in the place I started from: Hurt. Exactly what I was trying to avoid from the very beginning of my move here.  

"I can't believe you, V," Sadie said into the phone as I walked out of the diner after my shift a couple days after I spoke up.

"I know," I said glumly, pulling my keys out of my pocket and unlocking my car.

"She's so pissed."

"I bet." I climbed into the car and started the engine, warming it up.

"Have you talked to her yet?"

"Nope."

"When are you going to?"

"I don't know."

"Well, she's taking it out on everyone. I told her I was eating dinner at Eric's last night and she went off on some tangent about how no one appreciates her, loves her, respects her, and all that bullshit."

"You shouldn't have to deal with that because of me," I sighed apologetically.

"Don't sweat it. You gave her your all while you could. It's only reasonable that you snapped. I just didn't think it would happen yet. What did you even say to her? All she told me when I found her crying was you yelled at her for being a bad parent and you don't love her and I was so close to laughing."

"Oh my god, stop."

Don't you dare start to feel bad about what you said.

But it was so mean.

It was the truth!

"Did you tell her about school?"

"No, no, I haven't. I just told her off. Hopefully shaming her a little bit for trying to to get me to come home."

"She tried to get you to come home?" Sadie asked in astonishment.

"Mhm."

"Don't worry, V," she sighed. "She'll get over it. She'll respect you more for it too."

"I hope so."

"She will. You'll see."

"Thanks."

"Seriously, V."

"I've got a class in five, I'll talk to you later."

❀𓅰❀  

I continued to ignore my mom's phone calls but she was relentless. She knew I wouldn't answer her calls so she started calling me from random numbers and phones, flooding me with text messages. She even went as far as to start ripping the phone away from Sadie when I was talking to her, of course, I would end the call and wait for Sadie to call later when we wouldn't be interrupted. 

Wes had also been calling me. He called me for a week straight after our fight. I was fine the first week, I was angry but I was fine and I did want to talk to him, but I didn't know what to say. I unloaded all my anger and frustration on him, he was going to be curious where that emotion came from, but I wasn't about to tell him about my mom. And I wasn't sure if I should even try. 

I never answered his phone calls.

Eventually, he decided to stop by the diner to talk to me but I refused to come out of the back room, so Jerry sent him home. After that, he stopped trying altogether. That only made me more miserable.

I went on his Instagram after he stopped calling. I saw what Ivy was talking about. There was a post of a collage of pictures, one of which was of me. I was sitting on the rock watching the water just as she had described it. There was also a post of me alone. It was posted more recently, a few days before our lunch at the deli. The picture was taken from my side as I was watching the moose happily. The caption read, "She's so excited for the fucking moose," with a laughing emoji and a heart eyes emoji. 

As I read Wes' caption, I felt my heart beat skip and my chest tighten. I set my phone face down and squeezed my eyes shut. I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. I found some people that were way out of my league but put up with me anyway and then spastically demolished it because I was having a hard time dealing with my mother. I ruined it.

I took a deep breath before opening my eyes and bringing back the post. I reread the swoon-worthy caption, then saw under it Aidan commented, "Look how excited you are for her, man," with a winking emoji and one with its tongue out.

Oh my god, Vienna. You were in so deep.

What do you mean 'were'? Vienna, look at you. You still are. 

"Shit."

I liked Wes sure, but I didn't know how deeply he felt for me, and that scared the hell out of me. So I freaked out and ran and I hadn't stopped.

After a while, I realized I had my time to spew and it was time to cap the bottle on my emotions and put it on the shelf of everything else I didn't want to deal with. So I went back to my regular schedule. The one I kept to before I met Wes. I was pushing those unwanted feelings back down. I was back at Jerry's, sipping my green tea on my off days, and exploring on my own. As usual.

But it was strange now. I used to be content here by myself, with the odd company of Ida and Jerry, without anyone and never wanting to be in the presence of anyone, but now that I wasn't talking to Wes, I missed the conversations. Even if they were awkward or unwanted at the time.

I was starting to realize they were wanted. I found myself wanting to text him for lunch, or regretting not answering his calls, and wanting to tempt him to come over with a burger- Ida liked him and would give him free food when he would come in.

Every time I picked up the phone, though, I couldn't help but remember our last encounter. It would be awkward to call after almost a month, even if I were to apologize. It would also be weird, he probably already got over the fight- much quicker than I did. It was clear to me I needed him more than he needed me. I was a chickenshit and I knew it.

But none of it mattered because it was all back to normal. I was attending the church rushes and swapping soda pops for diets, giving kids crayons, and cleaning up after messy customers. 

I just didn't have the obnoxious presence of Wes or my mother.

As the end of October neared, Halloween came closer with every passing day. Aidan texted me at some point, inviting me to his Halloween party but I didn't respond. I was positive Wes already told him what happened so I wasn't sure why he even offered.

The diner was more hectic on Halloween than usual. Jerry's Diner had been advertising for Halloween specials and deals and everyone was flocking in wearing their costumes and I had to serve them with a fake smile.

Sadie called and sent me a bunch of pictures of her and her friends in their costumes. She and her best friend Eric wore couple's costumes where they were Jack and Jill. Sadie wore a childish pink dress, Eric wore khakis and a white t-shirt with suspenders, and both of them were covered in dirt as if they both rolled down a hill. It was pretty cute but in the pictures, Eric didn't look too happy to be doing it until Sadie handed him a bag of candy. Other than that and my cruddy mood, Halloween passed as usual.

It's all back to normal. That's what I kept telling myself, at least.

When the bell above the diner door rung a couple days after Halloween, I didn't lift my head, knowing Ida would greet and seat them.

Instead, I saw a boy come up on my right and a taller one on my left. I wasn't sure what to do when I saw Flynn and Aidan staring intently at me. I shrunk back a bit, caught off guard. "Guys, I'm working," I hissed.

"Valley," Flynn started.

"What?"

"Have you talked to Wes?" Aidan asked.

I gave my customers a nervous look. "Not since a month ago," I answered ashamed and irritated. I apologized to the customers I was with before telling Ida I needed to step outside for a minute. When I rounded the side of the diner so we were standing on the dock, I asked the boys again what they wanted.

"Something's wrong," Aidan said dramatically.

"What?" I almost laughed.

"We don't know. He was pretty pissed after you left, and for a while after, but got over it." 

I didn't have to ask who he was talking about. I looked down at my shoes, not liking where the conversation was heading.

"I mean he was still ticked off and all, but he was fine. But after Halloween a few days ago, he got drunk, and now he won't come out of his room." Flynn sounded concerned but I wasn't sure why.

"Okay," I deadpanned. "Why are you telling me? Go make his sorry ass take a shower or something" I rubbed my arms and started walking towards the entrance again.

"Valley, he's been shit faced since Halloween-" Aidan started.

"I saw him get a call the night of Halloween. He seemed really angry and by the end of the night, he was plastered. He won't come out of his room," Flynn cut in effectively stopping me.

I turned around to face them again.  I said, scrunching up my face in confusion. I still don't know what any of this had to do with me, nor why they came to me.

"Has he eaten anything?" Aidan asked Flynn.

"I don't think so, at least not much."

Worry rushed through me as I listened to them. "I didn't call him if that's what you're asking," I said quietly. "I didn't know about any of this."

"Well, something's wrong with him. It's been, like, three days," Aidan repeated.

"Two," I corrected. "Is he really not eating?"

"I don't know, Valley, he won't come out of his room," Flynn said in frustration.

I shifted on my feet. "It sounds personal to me, so-" I began.

"Valley! You have to talk to him," Flynn boomed.

"Me? What am I supposed to do?'

"Talk to him. I saw how you were with him that day of the hike. Just try," Aiden urged.

"I haven't seen him in a month. Not even talked to him."

"Valley, he likes you, and we thought you like him, but he's fucked up right now. You need to help us," Flynn pleaded.

I bit my lip. "Shit," I sighed. I really didn't want to go over there and I really didn't want to hear any of this. Especially after they said Wes and I like each other. "Why don't you guys go do something. Alright? I'll head over there when I get off work." I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"No, Now," Aidan insisted.

"I'm working," I said sternly. "You're both lucky I'm going over there at all. Or that I even considered this." I turned, leaving them behind me. "I'll head over there as soon as I can."

I was starting to worry about Wes. I didn't know what was wrong with him and the boys made a big deal about it but I figured they had to be exaggerating and it couldn't be that big of a deal. And I was still a little ashamed of my outburst, so I wasn't about rush over there. I was sure they were exaggerating.

  ❀𓅰❀  

a/n

okay, for real now, I'm going back to the Saturday schedule. (:

don't forget to vote!