QUINN

Once again, my body has decided to betray me. Maybe I should apply for a new one. One that is more dedicated to my wants and needs.

As I sulk behind Cash, trailing him to the club, my feet have gone numb. When I try to yank on the door handle to his truck, my fingers slip away. It takes three attempts before I successfully manage to climb inside like an ungraceful twit.

Of course, his truck starts right on up! Hot Mama gave out on me whereas his monster of a vehicle is being loyal, rubbing it in my face. Okay, so the transportation device is actually kind of small for a truck, so it's not a monster. I'm just bitter.

What's worse than being betrayed in the presence of Cassius? The fact that he's driving me to my mama's house right now. All my limbs are sparking with anxious tingles.

Maybe it will be a good day. I say this every Sunday, but I'm desperately praying for it on this particular morning. Not only do I have a guest this time, but it's a male guest. It's not going to go over well.

I guess I can just knock on the door and, if she doesn't answer, I'll leave right away. She'd end up kicking me out anyway, so it wouldn't really be a big deal.

But if she does answer...I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Even on good days, mama can be a bit much to handle. The only person to ever meet her was Hunter, and it took me six months of working up the courage to even consider their introduction as an option.

Needless to say, I never took him over there again. I could have sworn they were going to murder each other. As much evil as Hunter harbored within his veins, he was protective of me. Or...maybe it was more possessive than protective.

Still, he stood up for me. I wish it didn't end in a screaming match and threats towards mama, but I never had anyone speak up for me before.

Actually, come to think of it, he only started yelling when mama insulted him, not me. And he didn't say anything that actually defended me as a person...just the relationship.

Shit. He didn't care about me at all. It was only because his ego was damaged. Her tongue lashing threatened the stability of our relationship, and he couldn't handle it. I can't believe I thought he was protecting me. Man, I can be really dense sometimes.

I wonder what else I haven't been seeing clearly.

But, either way, if Cash sees this part of my life, there's no going back. He'll know where I came from, what happened with my dad, that my brother is gone, and probably much worse. She doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut when there's alcohol in her system.

The fifteen-minute drive felt like two seconds. When did we pull into the driveway? I can vaguely recall spouting out directions for Cash, but everything was a blur of trees and houses that I didn't realize were leading us straight into the danger zone.

But here we are, sitting out front, staring at the front door like it's keeping a monstrous creature contained behind the walls. I guess it is, in a way. My mama's not a monster, but her mouth can produce some of the most venomous poison.

"Can you stay out here for a minute?" I finally ask, ready to get this out of the way as soon as possible.

"Yeah, sure. Just let me know if you need anything." He replies gently.

I slide out of the cab and follow the driveway to the sidewalk, the sidewalk to the front porch. And once I'm on that porch, I can almost feel my skin thickening in preparation.

My emotions check themselves, tucking away in the furthest recess of my mind. My body stiffens, refusing to let my guard down in this house. And my brain shuts off, not allowing her words to burrow into my memories.

Necessary precautions I've learned to activate when I step foot on this property.

My thumb timidly pushes the doorbell in, and I listen to it chime throughout the house. This time, I can hear feet shuffling around on the other side of the door. Good, she's awake today.

Wait, no. Bad. That means I can't leave which means Cash is either stuck sitting out in the truck forever, or I have to invite him inside. Out of all days, she had to pick today to be a functioning member of society. Maybe it's not just the apartment that's out to get me. It's the whole universe.

Mama's overly aged face greets me as the front door swings open with unnecessary force. Her arms are wrapping me up in a tight hug that I barely manage to return. She reeks of cigarettes and alcohol despite dousing herself in enough fancy perfume to suffocate a giant.

She's been drinking. A lot.

"Hey mama." I strangle out, still crushed under her freakishly strong grip. "Good to see you."

When she pulls away, she starts inspecting my face with her empty eyes. I still remember the days when they were filled with life and wonder. Now, there's nothing.

"Why didn't you come over last weekend? I was looking forward to seeing you! I was so disappointed that I sulked all day!"

I did come over last weekend. Don't you remember? You told me you wished you had gone to my funeral instead of Dylan's and then passed out after telling me how much you loved me. Or was that the weekend before? They all blend together.

"Sorry, I got really busy with homework."

"Homework? I thought you graduated?" She grimaces at me, assuming I'm lying about the reason behind my lack of visit.

"Nuh-uh. I have a couple more months until I'm officially a college graduate!" The upbeat optimism is completely fake. Mama doesn't know that, though.

She seems to think it over, counting dates in her head when her sight sets on Cash's truck purring in the driveway.

"Who's that?" She nods toward the stupidly loyal car.

"Oh, just my ride. Hot Mama is out of commission for the moment."

"I really wish you'd name it something else." She sighs. "It's just so unladylike. And if your deadbeat daddy would send his baby girl some money, you'd be able to replace that despicable thing."

If all those precautions I mentioned earlier weren't in full effect right now, those words would have stung me to the core. Even though dad disappeared on us, I still miss him sometimes. I could never admit that to her, though.

She doesn't know about dad sending me and Dylan money every month. She isn't aware that I got all of Dylan's money after he passed. Because, if she did, we'd be facing a meltdown like no other. The world isn't prepared for Mama's tantrums. And we'd both be flat broke.

Hence, the tiny apartment, bare minimum possessions, and the ancient car. If it looks like I'm living outside my means as a 'struggling' college student, she'll know something is up. But I don't mind having to hide it. I've grown quite accustomed to my lifestyle. I enjoy it, even.

"I know, mama. But we can't worry about stuff like that, okay?"

Before I can usher her back inside the house, she's waving Cash over.

No! No, no, no! Whhhyyy does the world hate me so much?!

I chance a look in his direction and see him frozen behind the steering wheel. He's looking at me, waiting to see if I'll confirm the invitation or not. I don't want to. It'll humiliate me and it wouldn't be fair to him, either. He'll be victimized in every way possible by this insane woman.

But mama won't let this slide, so I nod my false approval.

I think I can feel the Earth cracking beneath my feet, separating, waiting for me to fall into oblivion. I'd rather let it swallow me whole than live in the reality of where I'm at.

Cash makes it to the porch and studies my expression before hesitantly taking the hand mama is extending toward him. This is the beginning of the end.

"I'm Quinny's mama, but you can call me Mabel." She chides in her super fake, southern-belle accent.

Well, the southern-belle accent is completely and totally real. By the time we moved up north, it was too late for her to ditch the country dialect. The sweetness in her voice, however, is not.

She hates him with a passion already.

"Nice to meet you, ma'am. I'm Cassius."

She gives him her best impression of a cheery smile, but I know what's hidden behind it.

Oh Cash...I'm so sorry.