QUINN

It's a beautiful Thursday morning. From my current location, I can see the landscape in a whole new way and it's breathtaking. Watching people laugh and smile and walk right by me like I don't exist is almost a calming feeling.

But it's not calming, because I'm stuck in a tree. I don't know how I got up here.

Well, obviously I climbed up here, but I'm not sure of the logistics behind how I actually managed it. All I know is I'm trapped between two stupid branches with no way back down that doesn't involve severe bodily injury.

The perch I'm sitting upon at the moment really didn't look this high on the ascent. And I swear there were more notches in the hefty trunk for my feet to grip. How else would I have been able to make it up here? They seem to have all disappeared now, though. Which leads me to the conclusion that this is a magical tree.

You see, I was just minding my own damn business after leaving class, walking through the campus courtyard. And then I saw a beautiful beast galloping through the fields.

Well, it was Cash running on the paved walkways, which is just as majestic. But it meant that I needed to get the hell out of there as fast as possible because I still haven't worked up the nerve to apologize for the way I treated him last week.

At first, I just dove behind the tree, thinking it would suffice. But then he happened to turn down the sidewalk that led to my hiding spot. I had nowhere else to go but up.

So that's exactly where I went. Scrambled up the tree. Watched him catch his breath while he stared at a spot on the pavement for a hot minute. And, well...I'm still in the tree an hour later.

Nobody has gotten close enough to my secret lair, which means I haven't been able to call out to anyone for help. Apparently, I picked the most vacant area to test my abilities. My spirit cheetah is flat out ignoring me, and I'm debating if I should just let myself fall.

Do I regret avoiding Cash to this extent? No.

In fact, I almost feel like a fairy princess hidden up here in the leaves. A fairy princess without wings who will probably starve to death and pee all over herself because of her own stubbornness. But still a princess, nonetheless.

Oh! There's a guy headed this way. Yess!! He's approaching the tree! This might be my only chance to escape. I start whispering to him, so I don't draw unnecessary attention.

"Pssst!!"

The stranger pauses for a second but then continues to walk past the tree.

"Hey! Don't you walk away from me!" I hiss angrily.

This time when he freezes, he begins to look around. After a quick survey of his surroundings, he scratches his head and starts moving again.

"This is lady Jesus, and I demand your assistance!" I yell in the deepest voice my vibrating vocal cords will allow.

Now he looks like he just got caught doing something wrong. All wide-eyed and guilty. At least he's walking back towards me this time. He's kind of tall, but not tall enough for this mission. And a little lanky. I'll probably break him when I jump.

Cash would have been a great rescuer for this particular situation, but he's the one who forced me up here in the first place when he ran at me full speed like a wild animal! Well, not full speed, but still. This is all his fault.

Dude-man turns in a full circle once he's underneath the tree, looking for the source of the heavenly demands.

"Up here!"

His head jerks up and he squints his eyes as he searches through the leaves, finally discovering my face as a startled expression takes over his.

"Uhhh...why?"

Why what? What kind of question is that? And he's most definitely stoned out of his mind. No wonder he believed I was lady Jesus. What a moron.

"Don't ask questions! Just help me down."

He looks from side to side, checking for any other witnesses that can confirm if I'm an actual person stuck in an actual tree. People never cease to amaze me. Like he's never seen someone pinned between some branches before. Come on, man. Must be some good weed.

"How did you –"

"I'm jumping now!" I yell, trying to line myself up perfectly with his arms.

"What? No! I'm not –"

Too late, bro. I'm already catapulting out into the air. While I'm floating there like a graceful bird, I realize I maaaay have underestimated this drop and overestimated my jump. Just a tiny bit.

I fly right over his head and he stumbles backwards, trying to assist me in whatever way he can. One of his hands accidentally smacks me right in the face while the other gets a firm grip on the back of my shirt.

While his hands probably helped reduce the impact of my landing, my body still slams into the ground like an asteroid. He failed the mission.

I wonder if this is what killed the dinosaurs. Did I do this in a past life and end an entire species? Which animal did I kill off with my fall this time? Hopefully it's the seagull population. I'll have to watch the news tomorrow morning to see for myself.

At least I'm not on my back this time. I think my stomach was getting jealous from always missing out on the stuntman action. My mouth is filled with earth and the guy who tried to catch me is bleeding from various parts of his body. The most prominent being his chin and elbows.

"Why are you bloody?" I ask after spitting out dirt and blades of grass.

He gawks at me like I just asked the dumbest question in the universe. Bloody guy stands first and doesn't bother offering to help me up. Wiping the red fluid from his face, he stares down at me, watching as I enjoy rolling around in the dirt.

I'm not actually enjoying it. I just don't think I can get up yet. I'm hoping rolling back and forth will give me the inertia I need to remove myself from the ground.

"Why were you stuck in a tree?" He asks angrily, smacking his scraped palms against his dirtied jeans.

"Did you know around sixty-seven percent of cats get stuck in trees every year?" I ask, finally managing to prop myself up on my knees.

That's not true. I just made that statistic up to make myself feel better about this whole situation.

"Okay. But you're not a cat." The moron feels the need to point out.

I guess I overlooked that fact whilst trying to soothe my wounded soul with fictional data.

"Yeah. Right. Of course not. But...yeah." I'd like to see him argue with that!

He doesn't though. Just shakes his head and walks away.

"Weird ass people at this school." I hear him mutter under his breath.

"You're weird!" I yell in his direction. He doesn't look back.

That's what I thought! Scaredy-cat.

****************

People are staring at me on the entire walk home. I smile and wave but then they just look away like they didn't even see me.

Am I a ghost? Did I die when I jumped out of that tree?

If I wasn't already in so much pain, I'd attempt the tried-and-true walk-through-a-wall experiment to test my theory. But, if I'm wrong, I don't think my body would appreciate me slamming it into a solid mass of brick.

Once I'm inside the safety of my home, I go straight into the bathroom to wash my muddy hands. When I look up into the mirror, I see the reason for all the staring.

There's a decent sized branch sticking straight up out of my hair, surrounded by little twigs that have made themselves a home in my waves. That bastard just let me walk around looking like a crazy nature lady!

I pluck each one out of my mane and examine them with pride. My avoidance skills are top notch! I wonder if there's any job openings for this kind of thing. It could be fun teaching others how to be as stealthy as me.

I guess I should get some homework done to distract myself from leaving. Thursday nights are usually spent getting ready to head to Shadow for whatever cover band is playing. Tonight, I'm using my brain instead!

Except using my brain is really boring. I think they invented textbooks with the intention of putting you to sleep because my eyes are drifting shut five minutes into trying to read.

An hour later, my book is covered in drool, and the words are smeared to the point of being illegible. I guess I might believe Cash wasn't actually lactating when he spent the night here.

I wonder if he's bored at work right now. Weeknights aren't super busy so I'm sure he ran out of people to harass like, an hour ago. It's probably driving him insane, missing out on his favorite hobby.

I glance over at the bottle of aspirin sitting on my coffee table and groan, letting my face fall back into the textbook. I need another nap. Maybe my brain will absorb all the information within the pages while my head uses it as a pillow.

It's pointless to keep trying to avoid him if he's just going to infiltrate my mind every chance he gets, like some kind of parasite.