I can't keep denying that I miss you.
______
I can't keep telling myself,
That hey,
I'm better off without you.

Because staying in denial,
Hurts just the same.

I just wish I could talk to you again,
But you're gone,
Just a fragment of dust,
Blown away.

I wish I didn't hang up on the phone while we were both crying.

I was just angry.
Too angry.

"Do you still love me?"
"Please don't make me do this."

Was it too selfish of me to want to know if maybe you were too scared,
And all you did was run away.

Or was it selfish of me,
Wanting to hear it one last time?

I can't keep denying that I miss you.

It feels like ages without you,
When it's only been
Two months.

How can I go longer?

Missing you was something I never expected,
When I started loving you.

I thought you'd always be here with me,
Just like you promised me in the moonlight
And in the poems you wrote me.

A hand to simply guide me,
Now lost it's warm embrace.

You felt like home.
And now I'm lost.

Missing you,
Is something I'll no longer hide.

Even though it hurts,
Denying it is worse.

I know where we went wrong.
It was me.

They tell me it wasn't my fault,
But I loved you too much.
Because that's my biggest flaw.

I love too much,
And I'm soft hearted,
I let people in,
Even after they hurt me.

You went too fast though,
You kissed me within a week,
And said I love you on the very first day.

And because I was too soft,
I didn't want to hurt you,
By saying it was too soon.

And that's where we went wrong.
That was when the fire was lit,
And I fucking torched us.

With my hopeless romantic ways,
I accidentally drove you away.

And now you're gone,
Haven't said a word to me since.

I wonder if you found someone new,
I hope she makes you happy,
Because I never did.

I think it's understandable to hate myself.
Don't you?
For smothering you.
Because that's who I am.

If I just called you,
Or texted you hey.

Would you remember everything we went through,
All our promises,
And all the days we spent just you and I,
Multiple dates and countless secrets shared.

Or would I just be a name of someone you once knew?

No, I can't keep denying that I miss you.
________
Because everything I see and do, only reminds me of you.