"I've missed you."
_______
I wrote love poems about you,
And I kept them hidden from her.

I wrote about the way you kissed me,
And the way you looked at me,
How you made me feel.
And the way you held me close.

I wasted so much paper and ink,
Just for you.

I didn't just write love poems,
The ones you never got to see.
In fact,
You never saw any of them at all.

I wrote you love letters,
And they were our dirty little secret.
She never knew,
If she did,
She didn't say a word at all.

It's like I just handed you my heart,
Written through words on a paper,
So delicately chosen,
Just for you.

Did you ever keep them?
The love letters I mean.
Or did you throw them all away?
Just to toss them in the trash,
Like the pieces of my heart.

I know you keep her letters,
I know it for a fact.
You read her book she wrote to you,
And you read it over the phone.
And each reason why she loved you,
Seemed to stab me in the heart.

Because hey,
I loved you too.

I just don't think you knew just how much I did.

But it was her,
That you chose.
I just never really understood why.

Every argument you two had,
Every time I spent with you two, and she made you walk away,
Only to call you names behind your back.
You knew all of this.

And every phone call you made to me,
Crying because of her.
I was there for you.
But you didn't notice,
Or ever seem to care.

Because she would leave,
And you would cry,
And I'd be the one you'd call.
Then she'd come back,
And you end the call.

A continuous cycle.
And it never broke.

And then there were the phone calls,
At twelve in the morning,
And we would laugh,
And it felt so great.
But you'd leave,
Because she finally got home.

And there were the FaceTime calls,
Right when we both woke up.
We laughed and mumbled over incredibly stupid things.
And I felt comfortable around you,
To have no makeup on,
And my hair a total mess.

She made you miserable,
And yet I made you happy.

It hurt me,
To hear you say you loved me,
When in all honesty,
You only loved her.

________
"So don't tell me you missed me, when you only missed your pawn in your little stupid game."