"Jeonghan? Are you sure you wanna do this?" Seungcheol hesitantly asked as both of them sat in the peaceful garden of the mansion.

"Yes, of course!" Jeonghan whined, "I'm fine, Seungcheol. Specially when you're with me."

Seungcheol fiddled with his fingers, "But- huh what do I even say."

"Don't say anything, just hold my hand, okay?" Jeonghan inhaled a sharp breath as he opened the diary.

Jeonghan.

I'm really missing you a lot today.

I mean, I do miss you everyday but today, it's a bit more intense. The urge to hold you close to my heart as tell you how much I love you, how much I long for you, is very strong.

But, it hurts.

Knowing that I won't be able to do that. Every again.

Please-

Everytime I think that I'm fine, I'm happy with just your memories, my heart just proves me wrong.

Why did you go? Leaving me behind. I wish I could come with you.

But probably, I'm not blessed enough. This separation was inevitable but oh wait- you're right here, in my heart.

"Jeonghan stop it." Seungcheol held his arms as he saw a tear trailing down the younger's eye.

"No let me, read." Jeonghan wiped the moisture away.

"Why do you want to?" Seungcheol paused, "You're hurting."

"I'm not hurting." Jeonghan mumbled, "I'm just overwhlemed with the fact of how much you love me.

How did you do this, Seungcheol? How?"

"Because it's you." Seungcheol replied, "This reason is more than enough."

"Please let me read." Jeonghan insisted.

Seungcheol averted his gaze as he looked down, "Okay."

Jeonghan nodded as he flipped the page to read another entry.

One year.

One year passed since I lost you, your beautiful eyes, your pretty smile, your melodious voice, your deep assurances, your love, my world.

I can't believe I made it to this point.

But you know what? I'm not going to cry. Because you used to hate it, Jeonghan.

I'm going to love you.

Today we have, your favourite flowers, your favourite music, your favourite meal and well, your favourite person aka me.

This soft wind reminds me of you. It dries all my tears and never lets me cry, just like you used to do.

It touches my face so softly, ruffles my hair and makes me feel so safe, exactly like you.

Sometimes, I feel like, you can't leave me either. That's why you keep visiting me in some means.

Or maybe it's just me who's always searching for you in anything and everything.

Jeonghan couldn't read further as he pressed his palms against his mouth while his teats flowed.

Seungcheol pulled him into his embrace as he rubbed his back, "I told you. Don't read that pathetic thing."

"Shut up, it's not pathetic." Jeonghan's voice was muffled as he clutched onto the older's shirt.

Seungcheol held Jeonghan close to his chest, his arms wrapping around him tightly, trying to shield him from the pain of the memories. He buried his face in Jeonghan's hair, breathing in his familiar scent.

"You're so stubborn, Jeonghan- You shouldn't put yourself through this."

He whispered against the younger's ear, his voice heavy with worry and concern.

"Didn't you feel it as well?" Jeonghan looked up, "When you used to think that I was- I was gone?"

"Stop saying that thing." Seungcheol muttered.

Jeonghan retracted as he opened the diary again.

"Jeonghan, stop it now!" Seungcheol frowned, "It's enough. You're just crying and hurting while reading it."

"Trust me, I'm not." Jeonghan assured, "Those tears are not of being hurt."

Seungcheol watched Jeonghan silently for a moment, his heart heavy watching him struggle through his emotions. But Jeonghan was determined to finish reading, and Seungcheol knew he couldn't stop him.

"Jeonghan, please-" He pleaded one last time, knowing it was futile.

"Shh, I'm fine." Jeonghan muttered as he flipped through the pages.

This project was a such a huge success, damn!!

Everyone worked really hard for it though and we're going to celebrate it tonight.

But of course, the first person go know about my feelings should be you.

We struggled mid way but I must say, we carried it well and the results were better than expected. I think that's why it was a great success.

I can just imagine your content smile you would have been having while listening to me.

I wish I could share this moment with you. I wish you were here to celebrate with me, to hear me go on and on about the project and how hard we worked. I wish I could see your face, light up with that smile I love so much.

But instead, you're gone. You're nowhere to be found. All I'm left with are the memories of you, fading more and more every day.

I have realised that you aren't just one call away anymore. I can't just pick up my phone and start ranting to you.

I try to hold on the memories, to cling to them as tightly as I can, but every day that passes, they slip a little more.

I fear the day when I forget what your voice sounds like, what your smile looks like. When I lose my grasp on the last remnants of you I have left.

Please- I don't want that day to come. I'll go crazy if I won't be able to recall the sound of your small giggles.

I'm scared, I really am.

But amidst all this, I love you, Jeonghan.

Jeonghan inhaled a sharp breath as he closed the diary, "Now I know, even after losing my memories, why I used to feel as if someone was very close to my heart."

Seungcheol's heart ached as he heard Jeonghan's words. Knowing that even without his memories, Jeonghan subconsciously felt his presence, felt the love that he had for him.

It brought both comfort and pain, knowing that their connection was still there, even if Jeonghan couldn't remember it.

"Jeonghan-" He whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

"It was just you, single handedly carrying our love for all those six years." Jeonghan sobbed, "How did you not feel like giving up and find a person who would have loved you?"

Seungcheol's emotions were overflowing as Jeonghan spoke. Hearing him talk about the years Seungcheol spent alone, still searching for Jeonghan, still holding on to his love, was almost too much to bear.

"How could I even think of finding someone else when my heart still belongs to you? To me, you were never gone. Even without you physically by my side, my love for you never wavered. Never faded."

Jeonghan embraced Seungcheol tightly, "I love you, I love you so much."

Seungcheol returned Jeonghan's embrace with equal fervor, holding him tightly against his chest. He felt a mixture of emotions, a wave of relief, and still a hint of lingering pain from the past. But the one thing that stood out the most was the love he had for Jeonghan.

"I love you too, Jeonghan. More than you can even imagine."

Jeonghan kept leaning into the older's embrace as tightly as he could.

"Jeonghan, do you know why I always hold you so close to myself?" Seungcheol mumbled, "Because I know how much it hurts when you aren't close to my heart."

Jeonghan pressed a prolonged kiss on the older's cheeks as his tears flowed, "What did I even do to deserve you?"

"You don't know?" Seungcheol chuckled, "You love me. You care for me. You cry while reading these diary entries.

And most of all. You fell for me even after forgetting everything. It's like you started loving me in your second life as well.

Isn't that absolutely amazing?"

Jeonghan looked up, "Idiot. How can my heart not beat for you. First, second, any life, it's just you for me. That's all I know and believe."

The words were barely out of Jeonghan's mouth before Seungcheol closed the distance between them, claiming his lips in a deep, passionate kiss. It was a kiss filled with all the emotions he'd been holding back, a yearn to be as close to Jeonghan as possible.

He cupped Jeonghan's face in his hands, his tongue seeking entrance, tasting and savoring the sweetness of Jeonghan's lips against his own.

Jeonghan retorted the kiss while closing his eyes, feeling the older all over himself.

Seungcheol deepened the kiss, his hands roaming over Jeonghan's body, as if seeking to memorize every curve and contour.

He pulled Jeonghan closer, pressing their chests together, feeling the younger's heart beating against his own. The world around them faded away, leaving only the two of them in a bubble of intense emotion.

Seungcheol reluctantly pulled away from the kiss, both of them breathing heavily as they clung to each other.

"Jeonghan-" He whispered, his voice shaky with emotion. He rested his forehead against Jeonghan's, his eyes closed, still trying to catch his breath.

"My world, I love you so much that I can't even put it into words. I can just let you feel it." Jeonghan muttered.

"You don't have to put it into words, darling." He said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Just being with you, holding you like this, feeling your love- it says more than any words ever could."
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A/n : This was a suggestion made by jeongcheoli_ee - to have the scenes of Jeonghan reading Seungcheol's diary.

And yeah, ik that I'm going to get cursed for posting it on this particular day-

Anyways take care everyone!
-Jeonghanneyonghaseyo