39 - I Wish

<Spell Beach and Farmhouse>

"Pretty." Joshua remarked sitting by the window of the hall of the farmhouse. It was evening and the beautiful view of the sea was visible.

There was a mild crowd around the place but he and Seokmin were sitting at a secluded place.

"Is there something special today?" Joshua asked while his eyes travelled through the flowers that were decorated all around the hall.

"Yes." Seokmin chuckled, "But let's eat first."

Food arrived as they enjoyed their meal together while joking around. Their giggles echoed in the hall as they loved being with each other.

"Now, let's take a walk around the sea." Seokmin suggested.

It was late evening as the sky was getting dark, decorated by the moon and stars.

"Here." Seokmin showed the older, the way where there was no crowd but huge and beautiful lighting.

"Everything is so pretty here." Joshua remarked.

"Hyung, may I ask something?" Seokmin looked at him.

"Sure." Joshua smiled while walking along.

"How do you feel when I'm with you?" Seokmin asked.

"Relieved." Joshua answered without any hesitation, "You're very special to me, Seokmin. Whenever I'm with you, I feel content and happy."

"I'm glad." Seokmin chuckled, "There's something, I wanted to tell you."

"Yeah, go on."

"There's this person I really love." Seokmin inhaled a deep breath.

"Who?"

"You."

Both of them halted as a soft breeze brushed past them.

Seokmin tucked Joshua's hair behind his earlobe and held his hand, "I love you hyung. With my heart and soul. From the day I laid my eyes on you to this day, I see you as an extraordinary and perfect person. From your smile to your beautiful heart, I love evrything about you."

Joshua's eyes were widened. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. It took him some time to register everything in his mind as he wasn't expecting this at all.

"I don't know how you feel hyung." Seokmin continued, "But I'll respect your decision at all costs."

"Uh- Seokmin." Joshua looked down, "I- I need some time. It's so abrubt- I- I'm sorry, I failed to be the perfect person you thought I was."

Seokmin stared him for a while as he gulped the lump in his throat.

"I'm really sorry." Joshua didn't dare to look up.

"Don't be, hyung." Seokmin lifted his chin up, "Be it a yes or a no, you'll always be the perfect person in my eyes. And why are you sorry? You don't have to be."

"I broke your hear-"

"Shh!" Seokmin placed his finger on his lips, "Please don't feel bad. I don't love you for your yes or no. I love you because I just do, hyung. You need time? Take as much as you want to. I promise I won't bring this up until you yourself ask me to."

Joshua stared at him blankly. People like him, exist? Really?

Joshua slowly held the younger's hands, "I'm really sorry, Seokmin. I just don't know what to say. I want to stay true to you and your emotions. I don't want to say anything that I don't mean, right now."

"It's okay hyung, I understand. And I'm happy that you're not making any false commitment." Seokmin gently held his cheeks, "Please don't feel bad for asking for some time. Just remember one thing, I'll gladly accept any of your decision.

So while making any decision on this, don't think about how I'll react, think about what you want, okay? I just wanted to tell you what I feel. There's no way I'll let you stress over this."

"Are we-" Joshua choked on his words, "Are we still friends?"

"Of course hyung, why would you think like that?" Seokmin embraced the older, "Please calm down. Don't make me think that I did wrong by telling you my feelings."

"I'm sorry."

"No don't be! I already told you." Seokmin broke the hug, "Calm down. Let's go, shall we?"

Joshua nodded as both of them went to the car. Seokmin was driving and Joshua was sitting in the passenger's seat.

The drive was peaceful but Joshua was focused on the younger.

'How can he still behave so nicely with me? I broke his heart and he was consoling me. Why are you so unreal, Seokmin? Wow, Joshua Hong, why are you so messed up?!! Argh!!!'

"May I know the reason of you staring at me without any pause?" Seokmin chuckled.

"Uh- no- nothing." Joshua quickly looked away.

Seokmin just laughed to himself. How could he not love the older if he was going to be this adorable?

Finally, they reached home as Seokmin found Joshua lost in his thoughts.

He silently walked out of the car, moved towards the passenger's seat and opened the door, "Mr. Hong, we're home."

"Oh yeah." Joshua came back to his senses.

Seokmin rested his arm over the older's seat as his other arm was resting on the car's edge, "Didn't I ask you to not worry about it?"

"I'm not worrying, Seokmin."

"It's evident in your eyes."

Joshua was left speechless as he stared at the older. Seokmin scoffed as he unbuckled his seatbelt. He was about to get up when Joshua held his collars.

They looked at each other for a while after which Joshua's heartbeat started racing.

"Hyung?"

"Is everything fine between us?" Joshua asked in a low voice.

"What makes you think, it isn't?" Seokmin whispered, "No, don't say sorry again. Please. It's not your fault." He held the older's hand as both of them got out of the car.

"You gifted me this." Seokmin showed him the bead bracelet, "I'm still wearing this, right? That means I'm still true to our friendship, okay? Don't worry much, we're fine. Promise?"

"Promise." Joshua nodded with a faint chuckle.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan were walking on a street while returning from a nearby convenience store. They had decided to go on a random shopping spree to buy snacks for everyone along with taking a small walk.

Seungcheol was holding the bags in both of his hands as they were walking peacefully.

Jeonghan reached his hands to take one bag, "Let me just-" Before he could, Seungcheol shifted both the bags in one hand and held Jeonghan's hand with the spare one.

Jeonghan stared at him, "Wha-"

"What?" Seungcheol raised a brow, "Now don't tell me you want me to kiss you in the middle of the road."

"I was taking the bag." Jeonghan whined.

"Wow, don't tell me that the bag is more important to you than my hand." Seungcheol sulked.

"That's not even the point, little kid." Jeonghan rolled his eyes.

"Baby would sound better than little kid." Seungcheol chuckled, "And did I say that I don't want to hold the bags?"

"But still." Jeonghan protested, "Okay let's hold hands but you give me one bag, I'll hold it with my spare hand."

"With your spare hand, you can respectfully hold my arm and clinge onto me." Seungcheol grinned.

"Seriously?"

"Shut up or I'll kiss you."

Jeonghan looked away as he was flustered, "Choi Seungcheol, I swear-"

"That's darling for you." Seungcheol intervened.

"I hate you!" Jeonghan whined.

"I hate you." Seungcheol imitated the younger.

While laughing and giggling, they reached the mansion. In the hall, they saw Dino, Wonwoo, Jun, Minghao, Vernon and Seungkwan chilling while watching some web series.

"Hey hyungs!" They still greeted while focusing on the screen.

"Carry on." Jeonghan muttered as he went to the kitchen along with Seungcheol. They began to unpack the snacks they had bought.

It was when Jeonghan felt Seungcheol wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on his shoulder.

"You stop it and get to work." Jeonghan rebuked.

"Mhmm loving you is the most important work." Seungcheol muttered.

"That won't work, Mr. Choi." Jeonghan laughed, "Help me unpack this." He playfully wanted to hit him with a bottle of cold drink but it accidentally landed on the older's face.

Jeonghan gasped as he immediately turned around while cupping the older's cheeks, "Oh no, I'm sorry-"

"It's fine, it's fine." Seungcheol nodded.

"Are you sure?" Jeonghan worriedly asked.

"Hmm." Seungcheol patted his own face twice, "Don't worry, I'm fine."

"You almost scared me for a second." Jeonghan sighed in relief.

Seungcheol chuckled as he placed a gentle kiss on his lips, "I would intentionally hurt myself to see you worry for me."

"What?!" Jeonghan frowned as he slapped his chest.

Seungcheol whimpered as he held the place where he got hit.

"Oh shit not again." Jeonghan face palmed himself.

"Jeonghan, darling, please don't forget you got some really good strength, right?" Seungcheol clutched his own shoulder.

"I'm so sorry." Jeonghan leaned on him while caressing his chest.

"Let's unpack everything." Seungcheol nodded.

Jeonghan embraced the older from the side. He kissed his cheek and giggled, "You're so mine."

Seungcheol chuckled as he pressed a kiss on his forehead.

Woozi stood against Hoshi's room's door as he inhaled a deep breath, "You can do it Woozi. Just tell him everything." He knocked at the door which was answered immediately.

"Oh Woozi!" Hoshi chuckled nervously, "I was coming to your room, I wanted to talk to you."

"Me too." Woozi stepped in, "You go first."

"No you can say first." Hoshi nodded.

"It will take long, you should speak first."

"Uh- Woozi, I think-" Hoshi scratched his forehead, "I think we should stop now."

"Stop what?"

"Whatever we have been doing." Hoshi stated.

"You're right." Woozi chuckled. He thought Hoshi was thinking the same as him.

"Let's go back to strangers who met to heal Jeonghan hyung."

"Let's start dating for real."

They said it together.

"What?" Woozi looked at the older with pure horror in his eyes. Strangers?

"Wha-" Hoshi stared at him. He stepped forward and held Woozi's shoulders, "Really?"

Woozi shrugged him away, "Go back to strangers?"

"Forget it Woozi-"

"Forget it? Are you for real?" Woozi stared at him in disbelief, "I understand and accept that you want to stop but you didn't even consider being friends? Strangers?"

"I didn't mean it, Woozi." Hoshi looked at the younger.

"You did." Woozi's lips quivered, "This was it for you? Having fun for a few days and then pretend like it never happened?"

"What-" Hoshi squinted his brows, "Weren't you equally involved in it?"

"I was." Woozi nodded, "And I'm the one who forgot that we decided to not to catch feelings for each other. I broke that rule. I was stupid to think we had something between us much more than-"

Woozi gathered himself, wiping his tears, "I'll go."

Hoshi held his arms, "You said you have feelings then how can you let them go?"

"Accepting the truth is better than living with pretty lies." Woozi gulped, "I should have stopped everything when I had realised my feelings but it was too late. You were right Hoshi, I'm dumb. I thought I'll confess my feelings to you and you'll accept, stupid me."

"Woozi that's not true." Hoshi cupped his cheeks, "Nothing has ended, nothing is wrong."

"Stop it Hoshi, don't pretend to be someone you're definitely not. You wanted to go back to being strangers before I told you my side." Woozi yanked him away, "That's what you actually want. Whatever you will say now would be nothing but a lie."

"I-"

Woozi held Hoshi's collars and kissed him as tears streamed down through his cheeks, "It was nice meeting you, goodbye. Don't try to come behind me anymore. Let's be strangers Kwon Soonyoung."

He left the room while slamming the door the shut while Hoshi couldn't process what happened. He just stood frozen at his place, expecting to collapse any time soon.

As Woozi walked out, he bumped into Mingyu, "Oh sorry."

"It's alright hyung." Mingyu balanced himself, "Are you okay?"

Woozi nodded with a faint smile. His fists were clutched tightly as he left immediately.

"What happened?" Mingyu mumbled to himself.

Meanwhile, Woozi rushed to his room and closed the door shut. He stood against the door as tears started brimming in his eyes.

"Let's go back to strangers who met to heal Jeonghan hyung."

"Why?!" Woozi sniffled, "How-"

His eyes gazed at his room, specially the bed. And he didn't want to look at it at that moment. It just brought him memories which were scarring him to the core.

He immediately went to the bathroom and locked himself there. He turned on the shower and sat beneath the stream of water while curling himself within his arms.

Tears flowed through his eyes without any pause.

"And I thought, the worst he could say was no." Woozi shivered, "I trusted him way too much."

"It's all my own fault." Woozi cried, "I shouldn't have expected anything when I knew we had promised to not catch any feelings for each other."

"WHY?!" Woozi broke down, "Why did I do this? Why?!"

It was true that earlier, Woozi was nervous because he didn't know what answer he would be getting. But he had never expected Hoshi to disregard everything as if it was nothing.

He can't be the only one to feel it, can he?

Hours went by as he remained lost within his thoughts. Finally, he stood up to open the door of the bathroom with swollen eyes and weak self.

His gaze once again landed on the bed and he couldn't step out of the bathroom.

He closed the door once again as he found himself unable to walk into his room. He collapsed down on the bathroom floor and decided to spend his entire night getting drowned with the supposedly sweet memories that were now sour.

On the other hand, Hoshi had a hard time in moving from his place. When he gained back his sense, he completely vanished every single source of light from his room.

He grabbed his hair in frustration, "Wha- What did I do? He-"

Hoshi broke down in tears, "He was thinking the same as me but I? Why did you run away Kwon Soonyoung? Why are you such a coward?!"

Worry and anxiety took over him, "I broke his heart."

He quickly wiped his tears as he rushed out of his room. He made his way to Woozi's room and stepped in without knocking.

"WOOZI!" He called out as he didn't find him in the room. He looked at the shallow light being emitted by the sides of the bathroom as he understood that he was inside, "Woozi, open the door! Please, hear me once!"

He didn't get any answer, "Are you okay? Woozi? Please answer me! PLEASE!!"

"Go away." Woozi's weak voice echoed.

"I won't go anywhere until you listen to me."

"I SWEAR KWON SOONYOUNG, GO AWAY OR ELSE YOU'LL NEVER SEE MY FACE AGAIN." Woozi yelled in a broken voice, "Leave me alone, I beg you, please leave me alone. After all, you don't need to worry about a mere stranger. Go!"

Hoshi's heart dropped at that sentence. He contemplated for a while after which he unwillingly left the door and slowly backed away.

He looked back once again, in the hopes of getting a chance to see his love, at least for a split second.

But he neither got the chance nor his love.

A/n : I'm respectfully on my knees with a heartfelt apology. I mean- happiness comes only after good angst right? Right?

Anyways, take care everyone!
-Jeonghanneyonghaseyo

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