Epilogue

There are times when you know what a perfect fit would look like when worn.

Because you knew deep down inside you, it is meant to fit with you.

When I first met those electric blue eyes that resembled both the devastating feeling of sadness and light-hearted hues of sky, I knew she was the perfect fit.

I didn't know what I felt back then.

Until I grew and realize it was love at first sight.

She was beautiful despite the disheveled state. She was mesmerizing even with worn out clothes. She was fascinating in spite of the frown etched on her face.

Pakiramdam ko nga may gayuma iyong batong tinama niya sa ulo ko dahil pati ako natamaan.

She was the one I looked forward to seeing everyday. Every time I wake up, all I think is those blue eyes looking at me, or her smile that could light up a thousand dim bulb, or maybe her frown that could flutter my insides.

Until all of those disappeared in thin air.

I won't be able to see her eyes, her smile, or even her frown. All because of me.

And each day, it's ruining me.

"Hindi siya iyon!" Galit kong sigaw kay Angelo nang makita ang libingan na ginawa nila para kay Ella.

"Siya-"

"Hindi si Ella ang nasa bangkay, Angelo! Buhay pa si Ella!" My eyes lit up as I stared at the casket. Ana was the only one present in her funeral. She was too focused on her grief to even notice us.

Umuling si Angelo at nilingon ang bangkay ni Ella- na sigurado akong hindi sa kaniya! Hindi iyon ang katawan ni Ella kaya kung hindi katawan ni Ella ang nasa loob ng kabaong, may posibilidad na buhay pa siya!

"Hindi siya buhay, Hendrik."

Nagulat ako nang biglaang lumitaw si Pa- Henry. Henry sa likod ko. I stepped back and turned to him, he looked at me with disapproval.

"Pinatay ko iyong babae mo."

"Hindi siya patay!"

Pinandilatan niya ako ng mata. "Sinasagot mo ba ako?" Tumaas ang boses niya.

"Hindi patay si-"

A harsh punch made me stagger backward. Angelo cursed and tried to assist me but I pushed him out. My lips were busted and I could feel the metallic taste of my blood yet I feel numb.

"Buhay si Ella." I insisted.

He punched me again. Hindi ko alam kung ilang beses kong iginiit iyon. Natigil na lamang siya nang tuluyan akong bumagsak sa sahig. Even when I went home with bruised face and busted lips, a hope flickered inside me.

Everyday, I tried to escape and visit Ella's burned house, hoping she'll reappear and tell me she's alive because I'm certain the burned body was not hers!

And every single time Henry caught me, he beat me to plump.

Still, I continued. Kasi buhay si Ella! Naniniwala akong babalikan niya ako! Naniniwala akong hindi pa siya patay!

Henry had enough. I must've broke the last string of his patience. He shouted at me that Ella died, he whipped me with a horsewhip, grounded me in the basement, made me starve for three days with nothing but water, and told me that Ella died when he let me go.

Maybe... maybe she really died.

That was my last thought before I passed out from exhaustion.

Pero hindi niya bangkay iyon! Baka bu-

"Kasalanan mo kung bakit ako namatay." It was Ella's voice!

Her ghost kept appearing in my dream and it wasn't even a nightmare. Her ghost felt like a daydream and I basked in those dreams where she blamed me for her death. At least... I could see that she's alive.

"Patay na si Ella! Patay na ang babae mo!" It was Henry's shout that made my dream a nightmare.

That night when I woke up, I stood and walked towards the place where Henry killed my Ella. Maybe I was dreaming. Maybe not. But I saw the same body when she was shot with a gun. She was lying on the ground so I picked up a stone and carried her body.

The land where my Ella lay lifeless, I digged a hole in it with a shovel. I didn't even know how I got a shovel in my hand, all I knew was that whole night, I kept digging a hole until it was enough for my Ella's body.

"Hendrik?" Narinig kong tawag ni Jericho galing sa malayo.

I didn't mind him though. I slowly put Ella's body in the hole that I dig and covered it back with a land. Jericho called me but I didn't mind him. I need to give my Ella a proper burial because the one they gave her was a fake one. That was not Ella's body. It was someone else. At least now her ghost would be at peace.

"Hendrik!"

I smiled at Jericho when I saw his worried expression. That's all I remember before I woke up from my dream. Was that a dream? Or did it really happen? I don't know, all I know was that my Ella is now at peace.

My Ella died and I need to move on.

So like a plague, I avoid thinking about her, talking about her, and imagining her.

Maybe it'll help me move on.

"New bodyguard?" I tilted my head when Albert all of a sudden announced an unwanted bodyguard.

"Yes. New boduguard." He repeated. So I glanced at the new bodyguard. He was as tall as Albert but he's hiding behind him as if he's scared of me.

"Bakit parang takot siya sa akin?" Taka kong tanong dahil hindi naman ganito ang mga bodyguard na pinapakilala sa akin ni Albert.

Napatuwid ng tayo ang lalake at tiningnan ako. I met his black eyes yet I felt something familiar. He looked... familiar. Like I met him in the past. And something inside me felt weird as I stare at his face. I roamed my eyes around it, contemplating how does his face seemed so familiar? My brows furrowed as I felt something inside me twist.

Nope. Not going there. She's dead! What am I thinking? This bodyguard is a man!

"I'm sorry but... have we met before?" I tried to be casual, maybe he's just someone I passed by in the past. He can't be... someone I know deeply.

Although a part of my guts tells the otherwise.

Still, he's a man! A man. Some things... might be the same. He might remind me of certain... someone but she's dead!

When I lost her, I thought I would never fall in love again.

But I fell for the second time.

Sometimes I would feel guilty. Did I fall for him- her just because she reminds me of...

Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko. She was protective of me, when she sometimes smile, it made me stop and stare at her for a while, when a frown would form on her face, something in my stomach tingles.

Maybe because she made me feel the same thing I felt when I was a teenager that I fell for her even when I expected I would never feel the same thing again with someone else.

I was ready to risk it all. I was ready to marry her, to start a family with her. To live with her.

But when I saw a familiar shoe inside Ci's room, I stopped.

It was the same shoe I gave... Ella when we were young.

How... how did Ci have it?

At first I tried to deny it but when I saw her blue eyes on the mirror's reflection, something in me slowly broke.

No... I buried Ella back then. Ella was dead.

Sinubukan kong hindi isipin iyon. I did avoid her for a week because I was afraid of the truth. Henry made me believe that the truth was that Ella died and I'm... I'm believing that truth.

Until I saw her blond hair. I wanted to deny it because maybe it was just a coincidence... right?

So I run away and tried to confirm it for myself. I dig the grave I knew where I buried her. Kahit na sumisigaw na sa pagod ang katawan ko ay patuloy pa rin ako sa paghukay. The night was as loud as the chaos in my head. I wanted to confirm it. To see for myself...

No, it wasn't a coincidence. She was Ella all along, everything made sense. From the burger steak, to the way she acted, how she smiled, her blue eyes, her blond hair... she is her.

I knew there was something wrong with my brain but I tried to bury that fact.

I was just trying to survive...

"You were right, Hendrik. Buhay nga si Ella."

Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan ko nang marinig ang boses ni Henry sa likod ko. I held the stone with her name engraved on it tight in my hand.

"Ci Garcia... huh, hindi ko alam na tatraydurin ako ni Albert."

Nanlaki ang mata ko at kaagad siyang nilingon. He was smiling at me with full of malice and it was the same expression when he planned my Ella's death.

"Huwag mo-"

"Layuan mo siya at lalayuan ko siya."

My lips part. Umiling ako at kinuyom ang kamao. Hindi ko lalayuan si Ci! Babalikan ko siya at papakasalan ko siya!

"Pati buhay ng anak mo madadamay."

Kumalabog ang puso ko at nanlaki ang mata. Anak? May anak kami ni Ci?

"Hindi ako naniniwala." Malamig kong sabi.

Henry smirked at me as he grabbed something in his pocket, it was his phone. Kumunot ang noo ko nang may pinidot siyang numero doon. The phone rang loud before the other line answered.

"Jillian, you checked on Ci Garcia right?"

"Yes... she's pregnant with a baby. four weeks pregnant to be exact." Henry immediately ended the call and my eyes widened.

May anak ako? May anak kami ni Ci? Magiging tatay na ako?!

My happiness popped when I met Henry's malicious eyes. He smiled at me as if he won the battle. He knew he could use that fact against me. Umiling ako-

"Your guards won't be able to protect her. I planted a spy inside the Carter's property. One wrong move and everything will be over."

I cursed in the inside. He knew! Hopefullly, it's still not too late for my plan.

So I let him believe he won by leaving Ci alone as I plan his demise with Rony and Angelo.

"Huwag mo siyang p-pakasalan..."

My heart broke when I heard her voice. I missed her so much. So damn much that I wanted to hug her tight, kiss her, and tell her that this is all just a part of my plan.

But then a sudden red dot was on her forehead. My eyes widened and my heart started to beat in panic. I tried to talk and the red dot moved on her forehead as if giving me a warn. If I... tell her about my plan, she'll run and hug me. When that happens... the sniper might shoot the trigger and I couldn't afford to lose her again! I couldn't afford to lose her and our baby!

So I chose to hurt both of us. I wanted her to run and stay away.

"Eh 'di umalis ka." Please... just stay away, Ci. Pagkatapos ng lahat ng 'to... babalikan kita. Aalagaan kita at ang anak natin.

The red dot on her forehead disappeared and before I could breathe a sigh of relief, she held her heart as if she's having a hard time. I cursed and tried to assist her but the red dot reappeared. I panicked and stepped back. She was too mad to look at me. Gusto ko siyang sundan, gusto ko siyang yakapin pero noong tinalikuran niya ako, nanatili ang pulang tuldok sa likod ng ulo niya. I clenched and unclenched my fist, trying to control myself from bursting.

It's okay. She'll understand it. Pagkatapos ng lahat ng ito, ipapaliwanag ko sa kaniya ang lahat. Kahit isang taon niya pa akong hindi pansinin, ayos lang! Kaya kong manuyo! Everything will be okay!

I thought everything would go smoothly as planned but when I saw Henry exchanging a look at someone from afar, I took action. His man killed the police who was holding him hostage and he took the chance to point the gun at Ci but I was fast enough to shield her from his trigger.

Pain explodes in my insides as my body felt too heavy to carry. My head hurts when it hit the ground but my vision blurred into darkness. The pain was too much to bear that I closed my eyes as I tried to breathe through my mouth but a liquid gushed out of my opening, I realized it was my own blood.

Despite the burning pain, all I could imagine is a life with my family. Ang mag-ina ko... anong mangyayari sa kanila kung mawala ako?

They say when you're close to death, your memory will start to reel back into those happy memories and regrets, but they didn't say that when close to death, there are instances where you could've imagined the what ifs.

What if I was not Henry's son and I met her under different circumstances?

It could be an encounter where I passed by their backyard while she was washing their clothes and I stopped to stare at her beauty. Or maybe an instance where I met her in school and developed a huge crush on her that I started to tell all my friends about her.

Maybe... maybe things would've been lighter and better.

Have I ever told her how much I love her?

You haven't so wake up!

My eyes opened and I met a familiar white ceiling. Murmers break down but I couldn't comprehend it until panic and shouts appeared. Their voices were blurred by intangible noises, I couldn't move my body, my eyes remained stuck on the ceiling. I tried to lift my finger and it did despite my brain dysfunctional state that it couldn't even command my body to stand up.

I saw Angelo's face covering the ceiling, then Jericho, and then it was Mavrik. They were talking but I couldn't comprehend what that is. A nurse appeared and she tried to check for my eyes through the binding flashlight. When my eyes started to regain focus, I roamed my eyes around the room, trying to look for that certain someone but it was empty.

"Nagising na siya! Nagising na siya!" Unti-unting naging malinaw ang boses ni Mavrik.

"Alam namin." Si Angelo.

"Bro! Naririnig mo ba ako?" Sigaw ni Jericho.

"Please stay outside, we will conduct a test on the patient."

Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari pagkatapos. The doctor and nurses examined my state and body. Nakatulog yata ako sa gitna ng pag-oobserba nila sa kalagayan ko kaya noong tuluyan na akong nagising ay mas malaya ko nang nagagalaw ang mata ko kahit na nahihirapan pa rin ako sa katawan ko.

"Boss! Gising-"

"Ci..." Iyon ang unang lumabas sa bibig ko.

Nanlaki ang mata ni Mavrik kasabay ng pamumutla niya. Kumunot ang noo ko dahil doon.

"Magrehab ka muna, bro. Kapag gumaling ka na, mahahanap mo rin ang mag-ina mo."

Kumalabog ang puso ko sa sinabi ni Jericho. Mag-ina ko...

So I used them as an inspiration. The three helped me recover and everytime I asked them about my family, they would tell me to continue healing before they talk about them.

It has been months yet I haven't seen the two person that inspired me to live.

"Sabihin niyo na kung nasaan ang mag-ina ko." Hindi naman ako tanga para itanong kung bakit hindi niya ako binisita. I know I hurt her too much that's why I'm asking where she is! Because I wanted to make it up to her!

"Boss-"

"Nakakalakad na ako ng maayos! Nakakasalita na ako! Kaya ko nang gumalaw! Bukas na ako aalis sa ospital na 'to kaya sabihin niyo sa akin nasaan ang mag-ina ko!" Kaunti nalang magwawala na ako rito!

"Boss... nasa Mani-"

"Manila? Wala siya sa Casa Cantatio?" Gulat kong tanong.

"Wala... nando'n naman si Adam at pinoprotek-"

"Adam?! Bakit kasama niya ang girlfriend ko!"

"Boss..." Mavrik sighed. "Pitong taon kang nasa kama nakahiga."

Parang bombang binitiwan ni Mavrik ang salita niya. My eyes widened and my lips part out of shock. Tiningnan ko ang labas pero wala naman akong nakitang pagbabago! Ilang taon akong nakahiga sa kama?!

I wasted seven years in my bed! Wala naman na ang sakit sa dibdib ko pero kita ko ang peklat nito. Wala na akong naramdaman bukod doon siguro ay dahil naghilom na ito dahil ilang taon akong nagpapahinga?! And now that I woke up, it almost took me a year to recover! Kung tutuusin, nagulat ang mga tao sa ospital dahil sa bilis ng paggaling ko. Maybe because of my will as they like to say. Willpower plays a crucial role in my recovery and it's all because of the thought I'd be able to see my family someday.

Kaagad kong tinawagan si Adam nang ibigay ni Jericho ang number nito sa akin pero babae ang sumagot. I was relieved when she introuced herself as his girlfriend. Akala ko naman inagaw na ang girlfriend ko! Handa na sana akong umaya ng suntukan.

Adam informed me that Ci went back to Casa Cantatio when she discovered my recovery. That's weird... hindi niya ako binisita!

Una kong pinuntahan ang bahay namin pero wala siya roon. Sumunod ako sa mansyon kung saan siya nagpanggap bilang bodyguard ko pero wala rin siya roon. My last resort was to go to her old burned house.

As I walk towards her old house, a sudden nostalgia hit me. It was the same morning sun that peaked from the leaves of the tall trees covering the sky. Tuluyan na akong inabot ng madaling araw kakahanao sa mag-ina ko. Natigil ako nang may marinig na huni ng ibon. I stopped and looked up to where that sound is coming from and just like I expected, I saw a familiar bird chirping while perched on a tree branch. A smile formed into my lips. Its hum was soothing and nostalgic.

A sudden force made my smile pop as the pain burst behind my head. A loud thud echoed in the forest when a hard object hit the ground after making its way through my head. I groaned in pain.

"Ang sakit no'n!" Kaka-recover lang ng ulo ko sa ospital pero ngayon pakiramdam ko kailangan kong bumalik para magpagaling!

Kaagad kong binalingan kung sino iyong tumama sa ulo ko ng bato ngunit wala akong nakitang tao. Kumalabog ang puso ko. Was I imagining things?

"Hoy, Mister! Umalis ka sa teritoryo na 'to! Natatakot ang mama ko sa 'yo!"

I feel like my heart nearly burst when I heard that tiny voice. Bumaba ang mata ko at doon ko nakita ang may pakana ng sakit ko ngayon sa ulo. She was glaring at me with her electric blue eyes and I stopped and stared. My lips parted out of shock.

Her eyes, her frown, the way she stands..

She looked exactly like... my Ella.

"Maganda siguro ako." Aniya nang mapansin ang pagkakatigil ko.

"What's your name?" Hindi ko alam kung paano ko napakalma ang sarili.

"Hindi ko sasabihin!" Umamba siyang tatakbo pero kaagad kong tinakbo ang distansya namin at hinarangan siya. Her eyes widened in shock.

I slowly crouched in front of her and my heart feel like its ripping to pieces. I didn't get to witness her growth. I didn't know... how long I was gone. She has the same eyes as her mother, the same pinkish lips, but her hair color was black like mine. She inherited my nose and she looked so... beautiful. My daughter.

"Kilala mo ba kung sino ang Papa mo?" I slowly asked.

Her eyes widened and her lips part but she didn't say a word. Pinanliitan ko siya ng mata, nag-iwas siya ng tingin. Akala ko hindi niya ako sasagutin pero biglaan siyang nagsalita.

"I-Ikaw ba..."

Nagulat ako do'n. "Kilala mo ako?"

"Hindi." Tears formed in her eyes but she shook her head and blinked. "Iniwan mo kami ni mama!" She glared at me.

I bit my lower lip and opened my arms wide for her. She blinked several times but she didn't move. I smiled sadly at her.

"Sorry..."

"Bakit ka nagso-sorry?" Mahinang saad niya.

"Mahina kasi si Papa." Hindi ko kayo nasamahan ng mama mo sa loob ng pitong taon.

That's all she needed. She stepped in front of me with cute steps as she sniffed. My muscles relaxed and I released a sigh of contentment when her little arms wrapped around my neck as she cry like a baby. She's now my baby.

"B-Binibisita ka namin sa o-ospital. No'ng natutulog ka pa..." Sumbong niya kaya pakiramdam ko may nawasak sa puso ko.

"Mmm... nakatulog lang ng matagal si Papa." Dahan-dahan akong tumayo at hinaplos ang likod niya. She sniffed and hugged me tighter.

"Hindi mo na kami iiwan ni mama? Sabi ni mama 'wag daw ako umasang hahanapin mo kami." Aniya kaya kaagad akong umiling.

"Hindi ko naman kayo iniwan. Saglit lang akong nagpahinga pero kayo naman talaga ang pahinga ko kaya huwag ka na magalit kay Papa, ha?"

"Okay..."

I smiled and kissed the side of her head. Suminghot siya ulit pero ningitian niya na ako. I chuckled.

"Nasaan ang mama mo?"

"Nagtatago. Sinabihan niya akong magtago pero tumakbo ako papunta sa 'yo..." She said as if she's proud she disobeyed her mother.

"Bakit siya nagtatago?" Nakangiti kong tanong sa anak ko.

"Hindi ko alam... nahihiya siguro. Sabi niya wala raw siyang suot na bra."

Natawa ako. She looked at me with a confused face, I kissed her cheek. "Do you want to find your mother?"

"Hide and seek!" She giggled and nodded.

"Once I find her, your mom won't be able to hide from me anymore." I whispered in her ears as if it's our greatest secret.

My daughter shrieked in excitement and she immediately pointed a shrub. Napangiti ako dahil doon, I could see her clothes sticking out from the bushes, she was crouching behind it but she must've forgot how tall she is.

I tried my best not to make a sound and my daughter giggled expectantly. As I slowly approached her form, I feel my insides tingling in excitement. I stopped beside the bush where she was hiding. Nakita niya siguro ang sapatos ko kaya nanigas siya sa pwesto niya. Slowly, her head lifted up to me and our eyes met.

"Found you, Cinderella." I chuckled. This time, no more hiding. I will accept all of her bare and unclothed.

______________________

End