Dedicated to: @Hilaga_Manunulat

umepek iyong pambobola mo sa comment section 😔 ayan tuloy naka-update ako ngayon. Nagbabasa po ako ng mga comments niyo haha!

***

Her

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin at kaagad na umiling. I was taken aback. I expect his eyes to widen and his lips to part but instead, he gave me that look.

That look like he doesn't really want to know who I am.

"Hindi mo kailangang sabihin."

I gulped. "Pero—"

"Let's get married next week."

I was taken off-guard. My eyes widened as my lips part out of shock. I mean he did propose but I didn't expect we'll get married this fast!

"Ang bilis naman?" Gulat kong tanong, I at least thought it will take months or even a year to prepare.

"All I want is for you to be my wife."

My throat clogged. "You want me to be your wife?" Even when you don't really know who I am?

"Give me a week. I'll come back here with an attorney and witness." He stood, my eyes widened.

"Aalis ka?" I panicked.

He leaned in and kissed my forehead for a few seconds before he let go.

"Henry might notice my disappearance. I'll need to prepare the files needed. Papakasalan muna kita sa bahay kapag nasolba ko na ang problema, sa simbahan na tayo magpapakasal." He grabbed my hand and kissed my ring finger.

I swallowed the stone that clogged my throat. Hindi ako nakapagsalita hanggang sa umalis siya at nagpaalam. He gave me one last kiss before he went out of our house as he liked to call it.

Sinabihan niya akong tawagan ko si Rony kapag pakiramdam ko malungkot ako kaya iyon ang ginawa ko. I immediately dialed his number and told him I'll be alone and lonely for a week. He assured me he'll bring Princess with him so I won't feel lonely. I released a breathy sigh.

Kinabukasan ay kaagad na pumunta si Rony and Princess. I was happy to have them. Nagulat din ako na may dala nang pangkulay ay bleach si Rony kaya mas lalo akong na-excite.

Rony is an expert. He told me that his dream was to build his own parlor shop. Princess said she was excited because there's a big chance her mommy might visit him in the Parlor shop and they'll have an epic comeback. Rony looked sad seeing Princess' hopeful expression and I fought the urge to ruin her dreams by saying her father doesn't give a fuck about her mommy.

Instead, I changed the subject and Rony seemed relieved about it. Rony dyed my hair back to its blond color and as I look in the mirror, I can't help but to feel awe. Now that I didn't cut my hair, it's length is now in what seemed like a pixie cut since Rony made several cuts in my hair so I would look womanly instead of manly.

Indeed, I look like a whole different person. A woman. My blue eyes on the mirror shone the brightest and my blond pixie cut hair suited my complexion. Now that I stared at my reflection, I feel like I'm looking back at the teenage Ella who had a major crush on this new teenage boy that appeared out of nowhere. Minus the different length size of hair, I still looked like Ella.

Because I am her.

"Wow, ta! Ang ganda-ganda mo!" Si Princess na nakamasid sa akin sa labas ng banyo. Kakatapos ko lang magbanlaw ng buhok kaya ngayon niya pa nakita ang kinalabasan ng gawa ng Papa niya.

"Thank you, Princess." I smiled at her, she squealed.

"Sabi ni, to sobrang ganda mo raw. Ngayon nakikita ko na!"

Natawa ako. "Hindi mo nakita dati?"

"Oo! Mukha ka kasing lalake kaya hindi ako sanay makakita ng babaeng gano'n mag-ayos tapos ngayon ang ganda mo na! Mas lalong mai-inlove si to sa 'yo ta!"

Namula ako at nag-iwas ng tingin. I can't help the excitement from bubbling in my veins. Ano kayang magiging reaksyon niya kapag bumalik siya? Will he find me beautiful like what Princess is talking about?

Kaya noong isang linggo na ang nakalipas at nagtext sa akin si Erikson na babalik siya sa bahay namin ay na-excite ako. Rony taught me how to apply make-up while Erikson was away so I did just that. I put a powder and a little bit of blush and lipstick. I also put on a blue square neck short puff sleeve summer dress. Sinubukan kong hanapin ang heels na binigay sa akin ni Erikson pero napagtanto kong nakalimutan ko iyon sa kwarto ko! I forgot the two shoes he gave me! One when I was fourteen, and the other when I was twenty. I sighed and cursed at myself. Kaya wala akong nagawa kundi magtsinelas nalang.

I also prepared a dinner for the both of us. Humming as I prepared our dinner which is Menudo, I paused when a familiar warmth enevelop me from behind.

"I was about to call the security but then I heard your voice. I thought you're a different person!" He chuckled from behind and kissed the crook of my neck.

Inilapag ko ang sandok at dahan-dahan siyang hinarap na may ngiti sa labi. He stepped back and held my waist.

"Hi..." I cleared my throat and peeked at him.

His smile vanished as his eyes slowly roamed at my face up to my new hair color and cut. His lips part a little as he blinked as if he's seeing a ghost or something. My heart beat picked up.

"Erikson?"

"You look..."

"H-Huh?" I tried to act calm.

He stared at me for what seemed like a minute. He didn't talk. He straight out observed my eyes, my hair, my face, my lips. Everything.

Until—

He chuckled. "You looked beautiful." He said lightly.

I stared at him for a beat, he stepped back and let go of me. Bukod doon ay wala siyang sinabi sa akin kaya nagkabuhol-buhol ang nasa utak ko. I mean... this is what I want right? To be called beautiful? But why... why do I feel like something is missing?

"Tomorrow, a lawyer will come here." He said casually as he prepared the plates on the table.

"Lawyer?" Taka kong tanong.

"For our wedding. It will be simple... for now."

Natahimik ako dahil doon. I find it too rush and unplanned but I didn't voice it out. That night, Erikson told me he wouldn't sleep beside me since tomorrow will be our wedding. Hindi ko siya nakausap ng maayos noong araw na 'yon. All he did was to kiss me a good night kiss on the forehead and retreated. Wala siyang sinabi tungkol sa bago kong hitsura kundi maganda raw ako. He didn't even ask if my hair color was natural or not. Or how I changed that much.

Maikli lang ang oras ng tulog ko kaya hapon na ako nagising. I woke with Rony and Princess banging on the door, telling me to get ready for my wedding when the sun sets. Nagulat nalang ako nang lumabas ako at may makitang simpleng bulaklak at disenyo sa bakuran. There's a wrought iron arch flowed stand, a few white clothed table. A red carpet that leads to a podium stand. The view made me feel tingles in my stomach. Ani Rony umalis daw si Erikson dahil may inasikaso siya pero pinaglutuan niya ako ng pagkain. I happily ate Erikson's food as Princess chatter excitedly beside me.

"Excited ka na sa wedding mo, ta?" Si Princess habang kumakain ako.

"Pakain mo muna ang ta mo." Rony reprimanded her.

"Sabi ni tito papakasalan ka raw niya ulit! Tapos flower girl daw ako! Excited na 'ko, ta! Bilisan niyo na magpakasal para makapagflower girl agad ako!" Princess squealed, natawa ako.

After eating my brunch, Rony told me he will do my make-up and hair. May white dress na ring nakalatag sa kama. Ani Rony, kabisadong-kabisado na raw ni Erikson ang hubog ng katawan ko kaya hindi siya nahirapang mamili ng damit noong tinanong ko ito kung kasya ba ang damit. I flushed and let Rony doll me up.

It took him hours to doll me up but it was worth it in the end. Nasukat ko na rin ang simpleng white dress and it fit perfectly in my body. It highlighted my curves and it made me look a lot more woman than I imagined. I wore a casual A line white maxi dress. The small puff sleeve and white ribbon surrounding my waist was the highlight of my dress. It looked simple yet elegant at the same time. My make-up was also done neatly and cleanly, it wasn't a hard make-up but enough to highlight the color of eyes. Rony also told me to only put a lip balm instead of lipstick since my natural pink lips complimented my make-up perfectly.

Also, Rony didn't put much effort in my hair. He said it was good as it is, he only put a few hair ornaments on it such a simple silver flower pin on my side. He also put on a simple silver earings because he said my hair can highlight my ears and neck.

When I looked at the mirror, both Princess and Rony told me I look beautiful. I do. Because as I stare at my reflection, I feel a sense of  regret. I was so beautiful as a woman yet I waste it all by pretending to be a man. It was a fast feeling though since if I hadn't done this, I wouldn't have married the love of my life.

"Ang ganda-ganda mo talaga, ta! Kaya pala patay na patay si To sa 'yo! Gets ko na!"

Parehas kaming natawa ni Rony. I shook my head and smiled at Princess. She was looking at me like I'm a goddess. Her pupils were dilated and her eyes were twinkling with what seemed like adoration and fascination. I wonder if Erikson would look like that once he sees? A sense of excitement bubbled my veins and I can't wait for that to happen!

A knock from the door made me jolt. Kumunot ang noo ni Rony at nilapitan ang pinto.

"Ta! Magtago ka!" Nagpa-panic na saad ni Princess kaya kumalabog ang puso.

"Bakit?" Kinakabahan kong tanong.

"Hindi pwede makita ng groom ang hitsura ng bride!" Aniya pero huli na ang lahat dahil binuksan na ni Rony ang pinto para makapasok ang kung sino mang nasa labas.

"Hindi ko alam kung bakit biglang ikakasal ang boss ko—" Tumigil ang mata ni Angelo sa akin kaya nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan ko.

His words vanished in thin air as his eyes slowly widened in pure shock. He eyed me from head to toe, from my hair to my face to my dress back to my eyes and to my hair. His jaw fell on the ground as he stood there, frozen in place. 

"What the... fuck?!" He enunciated each word with shock.

Bumalik ang mata niya sa mata ko kaya napalunok ako. He cursed and loomed at me as if I lost my fucking mind.

"Babae ka?" Hindi makapaniwala niyang tanong. Hanggang ngayon ay nakanganga at gulat na gulat.

I cleared my throat. "O—"

"Tabi! Bakit biglaang nagsabi si boss na ikakasal—" Mavrik entered the room with bubbled rants until his eyes landed on me.

My lips part as I met Mavrik's eyes but instead of shock, he looked at me with furrowed brows.

"Ikaw ang papakasalan ni boss?" Seryoso niyang tanong na ikinagulat ko.

Alam niya?

"What the fuck Mavrik?! Alam mong babae siya?" Si Angelo na hanggang ngayon ay gulat.

Nilingon siya ni Mavrik, mas lalong kumunot ang noo. "Sino?" Taka niyang tanong.

"Si Ci!"

Nanlaki ang mata ni Mavrik at kaagad akong binalingan. "Ikaw si Ci?!" Tumaas ang boses niya kaya napatalon sa gulat si Princess.

"The fuck?! Hindi mo alam na si Ci siya?" Ani Angelo na parang ang tanga-tanga nito.

Mavrik's jaw dropped as he looked at me in the eye with pure terror. "Ikaw si Ci?!" Ulit niya sa kawalan.

"Siya si Ci." Jericho dramatically entered the room as if he just landed a bomb on both Angelo and Mavrik's way.

"Alam mo?!" Sabay na sigaw ng dalawa kay Jericho na nagkibit-balikat lang.

Wow... I never thought I would see a day where Angelo would be this dramatically shock.

He looked at me from head to toe again, his jaw didn't even close the entire time while Mavrik looked so pale as he stared at nothingness as if the news shocked him to the core, his soul left his body.

"Congrats, bro. Naunahan ka ni boss." Tinapik ni Jericho ang balikat ng tulalang si Mavrik.

Hindi nakapagsalita si Mavrik. Patuloy siyang natulala sa kawalan habang si Angelo ay tinitingnan pa rin ako mula ulo hanggang paa. He must be contemplating how dumb he is the whole time he thought I was a man.

"Nandiyan na si to! Lumabas na kayong lahat dahil ikakasal na si ta!" Taboy ni Princess sa tatalong lalake. Si Mavrik na tulala, si Angelo na nakanganga, si Jericho na malaki ang ngisi sa labi dahil lang naunahan niya ang dalawa.

They all went out. Rony hurriedly gave me a bouquet of flower and assembled a short veil behind me, I chuckled. Hindi naman talaga 'to kasal. All we need is to do is to sign the marriage contract but from the way this looks like, it felt like I'll be walking down the aile inside a church.

"Bilis, Pa! Magsu-sun set na!" Tatalon-talong sabi ni Princess.

Kaya mabilis akong pinababa ni Rony sa bakuran. I stumbled with my heels and chuckled at myself. Too bad I didn't get to wear the shoes Erikson gave me.

I stopped when I saw Erikson standing beside the podium with a lawyer beside him. He was wearing a simple white tux. He looked imecably handsome that my eyes locked to his as if I was stuck. I didn't even mind the three faces on either side of him or Princess' squeal, or even the magnificent orange hue behind him. My eyes were stuck.

As I walk down the aile, I stared at his gray orbs. He was looking at me with those deep and serious eyes as if he was seeing me for the first time. The first time I saw him, I felt that kind of unknown friction, I read it even if I didn't know what it means, now, he looked at me as if he saw me for the first time.

And that friction, it happened for the second time.

"Hi..." I said awkwardly when I reached him.

"Ang ganda mo." He smiled at me, my heart melts.

I think this is the right time.

Binalingan lo ang lawyer. He was a middle aged man with gray hair. He smiled at me and was about to talk when I talked first.

"Ci... Ci Garcia is not my real name."

After all, we're going to get married. I don't want to hide anything from my husband.

Nagulat ang lawyer kaya ningitian ko siya at binalingan si Erikson. His smile vanished and he stiffened as I enunciate the name I never thought I would say out loud in front of him.

"Cindy Dela Vega. That's my real name."

I thought it would make him happy. I thought he would hug me and tell me how much he missed me. Instead, he stepped back as he looked at me with pure terror.

"No... No you're not." He chuckled humorlessly, my heart fell.

"Ako 'to, Erik—"

"Ella died! Namatay ka na! Hindi ikaw si Ella!" His jaw ticked as he stepped back, my eyes blurred.

"Ako si Ella!" I shouted frustratingly.

"Hindi ikaw si Ella! I-I buried her!" He shook his head and turned his back on me, my eyes widened as I try to run after him but a hand made me stope.

"Bitiwan mo ako! Susundan ko siya!" Galit kong tinulak si Jericho pero hindi siya nagpatinag.

"Ella..." From the way he said my name, I know he was shock as well.

"Oo! Ako si Ella kaya bitiwan mo ako! Susundan ko siya!" I shouted frustratingly at him.

"He buried you six years ago!"

I froze in my place. Hindi ako nakagalaw, pakiramdam ko nanghina ang tuhod ko. I want to collapse and lie on something.

"What..." Nanghihina kong tanong, nalilito na.

"You... died."

"Hindi ako patay, Jericho! Nakita mo ako at alam kong alam mong ako si Ella!" I regained my strength and tried to push him but he looked at me pleadingly.

"Please... just let him discover it on his own."

"Ano..." Umiling ako, hindi siya naiintindihan. Water blurred my vision but I remained looking at him. I didn't even bother wiping my tears.

"Six years ago..." Nag-iwas siya ng tingin kaya kumalabog ang puso ko. "He was diagnosed with brief psychotic disorder."