Dedicated to: ulanshajsjsaj
Kalimutan mo na si Angelo, akin ka, naiintindihan mo? 🙄

***

Her

Anong sasabihin ko?! He's not in denial anymore! Ibig sabihin ba nito... tanggap niya na na may gusto siya sa lalake? How am I supposed to deal with this?

"I-Inuuhaw ako." Tanging sabi ko sabay talikod sa kaniya para makatakas sa nakakasunog niyang mata.

Ramdam niya siguro ang awkwardness ko kaya hinayaan niya ako. Kung dati ay siya ang umiiwas sa akin, ngayon halos hilingin ko na makuha ang vacation leave na ibinigay niya kay Mavrik. Hindi ko yata kaya siyang harapin! Anong sasabihin ko?! Anong gagawin ko?!

"May sakit ako. Ikaw muna magbantay kay boss." Sabi ko kinabukasan nang lumabas si Angelo sa opisina ni Erikson.

Kumunog ang noo ni Angelo. "Huwag mo akong inuutusan."

"Iyong vacation leave ko, sabihin mo na kukunin ko na." I tried again.

Mas lalong gumuhit ang pagkalito sa mukha niya. "Huwag mo akong utusan." Ulit niya.

Umirap ako. "Hindi ba't gusto mong mawala ako sa pagmumukha mo? Heto na, ikaw na magpaalam kay—"

Bumukas ang pinto at lumabas ang ulo ni Erikson. Kumalabog ang puso ko nang magtama ang mata namin. 

"Ci? Bakit nasa labas ka pa?"

Tangina.

Wala na akong nagawa kundi ang maglakad papasok sa opisina. Nakamasid lamang si Erikson sa akin, he stepped back and opened the door for me. Namula ako nang dahan-dahan niyang sinara ang pinto kaya kaming dalawa nalang ang natira! 

Relax, Ci. Walang masamang mangyayari.

"Ci? Bakit parang kinakabahan ka?"

"Hindi ako kinakabahan." Kalmado kong sabi.

Inilapit niya ang sariling mukha sa mukha ko kaya kumalabog muli ang puso ko. I paled and froze in place. Tangina, ang lapit. Kaunti nalang talaga mahahalikan niya ang labi ko!

"I don't think so. Namumutla ka, oh." He commented, staring closely at my face.

"Lumayo ka." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at umatras.

He straightened his back and inserted his hands inside his short's pocket. He eyes me carefully.

"Bakit parang ayaw mo sa akin?"

Nagulat ako roon. Anong sasabihin ko ron?!

"Ano bang pinagsasabi mo diyan?" Iritado kong tanong.

"Iniiwasan mo ako!" He pointed out.

"Ginagawa ko lang ang trabaho ko." Kalmado kong tanong.

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. "Akala mo ba madali 'to sa akin?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Pinagsasabi mo."

"Hindi rin madali na tanggapin 'to, Ci! Pero wala akong magawa..." Bumuntong-hininga siya.

"Sinabi ko bang tanggapin mo? Hindi naman kita pinilit, ah?"

"Hindi! Pero... gusto kita!"

"Anong gusto mo mangyari?"

"Huwag mo akong iwasan!"

Umirap ako. "Hindi nga kita iniiwasan. Ginagawa ko lang ang trabaho—"

"Kumain ka na?" Putol niya sa akin.

Bumuntong-hininga ako. Hindi pa ako kumakain pero kapag sasabihin ko iyon ay tiyak na sasabayan niya ako sa kusina! Magdududa nanaman si Angelo kaya mabuti na ang magsinungaling.

"Oo."

"Liar. Hindi kita nakitang kumain kanina." He glared at me.

Umirap ako. "Kakain ako mamaya."

"Ngayon na."

"Sige." Sabi ko kaya kuminang ang nata niya. "Huwag mo akong susundan." Banta ko.

His shoulders dropped. "Bakit? Hindi pa rin ako kumakain." Nguso niya.

Hindi naman kami pero bakit kung makaasta siya parang kami na? He's clingy!

"Mauna ka nalang kumain. Sasabay ako kay Angelo."

Nanlaki ang mata ni Erikson. "Kaya ba?"

"Anong kaya ba?"

"Kaya ba iniiwasan mo na ako kasi si Angelo na ang gusto mo?!"

"Hindi!" Iritado kong sabi at bumuntong-hininga.

"That's the only reason—"

"Masyado ka nang halata!" Tumaas sa normal kong tano ang sigaw ko dahil nagiging isip-bata na siya.

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin at tumahimik. I let out a deep breath and relaxed myself. Maybe because of the tension, kaya ganito ako ngayon. Natatakot lang ako sa posibilidad na mangyayari sa oras na malaman ni Angelo ang sikreto ko, ang nararamdaman ni Erikson.

Tinalikuran ako ni Erikson at naglakad palayo. Nanatili ako sa puwesto ko dahil dito naman talaga ako 'di ba? Hindi ko siya dapat sundan.

Kaya lang...

I heard him sniff. I was frozen in place. Tangina? Umiiyak ba siya?!

So I abandoned the idea of my job and stepped forward. Nilapitan ko si Erikson na nakatalikod sa akin at marahas na pinaharap. I was right! His eyes were blootshot and moist!

"Bakit ka umiiyak?" Iritado kong tanong.

"It took me months to finally accept my feelings for you..." Nag-iwas siya ng tingin at kinagat ang pang-ibabang labi. "Tapos iiwasan mo lang ako?" Parang nanghihinang sabat niya.

"Hindi nga kita—"

"Akala mo gano'n ako kabobo? Napapansin ko! Panay ang sulyap mo kay Angelo!" Suminghot siya at sinamaan ako ng tingin.

"Dahil ayaw kong mahuli niya tayo!"

Fuck. May kami ba?

"Wala naman tayong ginagawang masama..." Bulong niya sa kawalan.

"'Yong titig mo parang mayro'n." I glared at him.

"Hindi ko napapansin!" Depense niya.

Bumuntong-hininga nalang ako at hindi nagsalita. I slowly stepped forward and tiptoed so I could wipe all those fucking tears away. There's just something about his tears that makes my heart clench in an unbearable kind of pain.

His gray eyes were expressive and in pain. Pinalis ko lahat ng natitirang luha at pinagmasdan ang mukha niya sa malapitan.

Who would've thought I could be this close to him again after all those years? He was my first love, my first heartbreak, the very first person who made me feel I was worth of gifts. It wasn't just a teenage puppy love, it was more than just that.

"Ci..." Tawag niya kaya nag-angat ako ng tingin sa mata niya.

"Oh?"

"Hahalikan mo na ba ako?" Inosente niyang tanong kaya natauhan ako. Sobrang lapit na pala ng mukha ko sa mukha niya!

"Hindi!" I glared at him and stepped back.

Ngumuso siya. Nawala na ang luha sa mata niya ngunit namumula pa rin ang mata. Ang dali mamula ng mata niya kaya halata kung kailan siya naiiyak.

"Bakit ayaw mo ako halikan?"

Hindi ko siya sinagot. Nanatili lang akong nakatingin sa kaniya. He continued to pry though.

"Mabaho ba hininga ko?"

I sighed. If I don't say no, he'll overthink this conversation the whole day and break down. That's how overreacting he is.

"Hindi."

"Eh bak—"

"Why? Do you wanna have sex?"

Nanlaki ang mata niya. It seemed like that thought never occured to him and it made him pale. Hindi siya nakapagsalita, nakanganga ang bunganga at hindi makapaniwala kaya napailing ako. He looked at me as if that thought was traumatizing, I guess never gave that a thought.

He cleared his throat and glare at me. "Bakit ang dumi ng utak mo?"

"I'm just relaying the possibilities." Kalmado kong sabi.

"Hindi porket gusto ko ng halil, gusto ko na—" He zipped his mouth when he realized what he said thag I smirked at him.

"Gusto mo ng halik?" Asar ko sa kaniya.

"Kumain na tayo, Ci!" Naglakad siya palabas ng opisina kaya humalakhak ako at napailing. He's so extra.

Hindi ko siya nataboy kahit na sinabi ko sa kaniya na mamaya na ako. Mapilit siya kaya wala akong nagawa kundi sumuko. Right now he's humming as he gave me the plate he prepared for me, smiling and smirking that he won an argument. Umirap nalang ako at hinayaan siya, mabuti nalang talaga at wala si Angelo ngayon kaya hindi niya nahuhuli ang kahibangan ng boss niya.

Days went on by that setting. Wala na akong nagagawa sa kung anong gustong gawin ni Erikson. Kapag pumupunta naman kami sa bar ay panay ang iwas niya sa mga babae kaya hinahayaan ko nalang siya sa gusto niyang gawin sa akin— not that it's bad, most of the time he likes to talk to me and serve me food, madaldal siya at panay ang ngiti, gusto niya ring inaasar ako, kahit na masakit sa ulo ay hindi ko naman masasabing hindi o rin gusto.

It stopped right there though. Wala nang iba pa. We talk and he serve me foods. That's all. Nothing more.

Why do you sounds like you want more, Ci?

"Next target— leader of syndicate. Their syndicate is a threat to us, kaya mang-aambush tayo." It was Mavrik discussing about our next target.

"We'll ambush the leader?" Tanong ko.

We're currently inside Erikson's office, si Mavrik ang palaging may dala kung sino ang sunod na ita-target namin habang si Angelo naman ang gumagawa ng plano.

Habang si Erikson? Wala siyang ginawa kundi ang sumulyap sa akin.

"Yes. And boss will shoot his trigger to the target's right-hand man. It will distract them. May spy na tayo sa loob ng sindikato nila. Tutulong sila."

Up until now, I still don't know the expense of this job. Hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin magawang maisip kung paano nagagawa ni Erikson na pumatay ng tao. It was as if his guilt was taken away from him. Sometimes he could be a souless devil.

"Angelo?" Si Mavrik.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Angelo, he was staring at both of us and it made my heart thump loud. Tinapakan ko ang paa ni Erikson sa ilalim ng lamesa kaya napaayos siya ng upi at bumaling sa kung nasaan si Mavrik. Hindi niya yata napansin ang titig niya sa akin.

Thankfully Angelo relayed his plan. Sa tuwing nahuhuli ko si Erikson na nadi-distract sa akin ay sinasipa ko ang paa niya kaya napapaubo siya.

I released a relieved sigh when the meeting ended. Pumasok na ako sa kuwarto ko pabalik para magbihis. I assembled my handgun holster inside my suit and grabbed a gun, I engaged the safety and checked for the bullet before putting it in my holster.

My job was to stick with Erikson as he aim his sniper towards the target. His shoot will distract them and Mavrik and Angelo are going to be in charge for the ambush. While he shoot the target, I'll aim my sniper to the people who has a potential threat to his safety.

Sa bukid gaganapin ang plano dahil nandoon ang mga sindikito nagtatago. I saw a village from afar, I just hope no innocent lives would be involved in this.

Ngayon, aakyat kami sa maliit na bundok at dadapa kasama ang mga ligaw na damo. The wild grass will serve as our camoflouge. Walang mga abandonadong gusali kaya kinakailangan talaga nating umakyat ng bundok.

"Ayos lang, Ci?" Si Erikson nang mahirapan ako sa pag-akyat.

"Oo." Pagsisinungaling ko.

Dapat sanay na ako, eh pero hindi talaga ako magaling sa balanse, pakiramdam ko madudulas ako ano mang oras lalo ma't maputik ang daan paakyat.

"Liar." Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at inalalayan na ako buong pag-akyat.

Hinayaan ko siya na alalayan ako ang kaya lang, tapos na ang mahirap na parte, kaya ko nang maglakad ng maayos pero nanatili pa rin siyang nakahawak sa kamay ko! Aba't, pinagsiklop niya pa ang daliri namin! Akala mo naman hindi siya papatay ng tao mamaya kung makaasta siya!

"Bitiw." Sabi ko nang huminto kami sa kung saan kami magtatago.

Ngumuso siya, halatang gustong-gusto ang ginagawa. Hindi naman siya nagsalita at binitiwan ako. Dumapa na siya at inasintado ang rifle. While me? I processed the coldness of my hands after his warmth left it untouched. Ako ang unang nagsabi na bumitiw pero bakit parang ako ang parang ayaw bumitiw?

Napailing ako at bumuntong-hininga. Angelo muttered at the earpiece that the syndicates are arriving. Tumabi na ako sa pagkakadapa kay Erikson at inasinatdo ang sarili kong armas. We were in prone position as the wild grass act as our camoflouge.

"Target in position one." Mavrik at the other line.

I closed one eye and broken line of cross appeared in my vision, aiming at the bait the target will walk to. Nasa baba sila at nasa taas kami, I can easily shoot but I won't shoot unless one sees our position. Si Erikson na ang bahala, I'll act as his back-up.

"Target is walking in vulnerable position."

Then I saw a group of men walking against the lens. The target was in suit and a cigarette was in between his lips. Nasa unahan niya ang boss niya habang nakapalibot ang mga bodyguard sa kanilang dalawa. They look lile thugs with how their clothes were rugged and worned out.

"Fire."

A loud shout echoed and the bodyguards dispersed as they surround the boss, shouting in unison, telling each other to protect their fucking king. Erikson aimed it straight at the right-hand man's face that its landed completely straight on the ground. They didn't even care about that man when they all step over his step body just to protect their boss.

A man from below saw my position, it was a second when our eyes met against the lens and before he could aim his gun, I shoot straight into his forehead.

They tried to run but a black van screeched a halt in front of them. A spy from their group shoot each of the bodyguard that tried to fight our men. I thought it was going on smoothly but then my senses heightened as my sharp eyes accidentally hit the intruder.

He was near our location, up the mountain and before he could even shoot the bullet towards Erikson, I jumped against him, abandoning my weapon.

"Fuck!"

"Ci!"

My senses almost blurred when a bullet hit straight into my arm. The sniper didn't stop though, he fired the bullet again so I forcefully rolled Erikson away from the bullet that it hit me again, this time at the side of my stomach! I shout an angry shout at the fucker as I felt the sting from my body.

"Eleven o 'clock from our position. Kill the sniper!" I addressed to whoever the fuck is on the line.

Erikson was too shock to process it though. Mahigpit ang pagkakakapit ko sa kaniya, hinihingal at namimilipit sa sakit.

"Ci!" Natauhan yata siya at kaagad na inilapag ako.

The pain was painful enough to make me feel like I'm going blind. But I fought it though. I swear I heard Angelo's curse from the other line that the sniper was on the run.

"Ci! Gising!"

Minulat ko ang mata at nakita si Erikson sa ibabaw ko. Bumalik ang alerto ko nang mapagtantong maaring may umatake sa amin. I was weak and even though it was blindfully painful, I know it won't kill me.

"You're bleeding!"

"Tanga." Natawa ako sa hitsura niya kaya sumama ang tingin niya sa akin.

Dahan-dahan niya akong inalalayang makatayo and I obliged. My senses went alert at instant as I roam my eyes around, trying to identify pissibke prey.

"Mauubusan ka ng dugo nito!"

I chuckled. He glared at me. "Just wrap a cloth around my wound. It'll stop." Kalmado kong sabi.

Alam niya iyon. He swiftly pulled his black shirt over his head and I momentarily stop, my eyes dropping low at his torso. I know it's not the right thoughts but damn... he's got eight packs!

"You're soaking with blood! Wear my shirt and I'll use your dress shirt as bandage."

Tanging tango ang ginawa ko. The pain is slowly getting into my head that I momentarily closed my eyes as I let him unbutton me— fuck wait, unbutton me?! 

Before I could even stop him, I realize I was too late as his hands drop in pure shock. Nagtama ang mata namin ngunit bumaba iyon sa dibdib ko.

"Putangina..." It was the first time I heard his curse, fuck.

I tried to cover my body even though I know it's fucking too late. At this moment, I just wish to pass out. Our eyes met and I could read the shock, disbelief, and betrayal in it.

"Putangina. Babae ka?!" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong niya kaya nag-iwas ako ng tingin. "Nagkagusto ako sa... babae?!"

Fuck.