Dedicated to: tomatofruitsalad

***

Him

Ci— my new bodyguard, stood stiff beside the door, looking straight at nothingness.

I stared at him longer than needed as we both wait for Angelo to bring the sugar I ordered him. He glanced at me and avoided his eyes immediately, he seemed flustered.

My eyes went down to his small body. I see the cute biceps he's talking about but I don't think that's enough to protect me. Mataas siya pero hindi kasingtaas ko, maliit din ang lapad ng kamay niya at kung tutuusin, kung magsusuntukan kami, ako ang mananalo. I'm not body shaming him, I just think he's meant to study and take a course that does not require any physical effort.

You are body shaming him.

I'm not! Just stating facts. He seemed weak, he cannot be with me during my dangerous jobs!

And why am I worried?

Umiling ako at bumuntong-hininga. I'm being paranoid just because he looks like someone I know.

I closed my eyes when I remembered that specific person I'm trying my best to forget. Umiling muli ako at itinuon nalang ang atensyon sa computer ko. I'm watching an action movie. Ito ang palagi kong ginagawa para hindi ako makatulog. I hate sleeping, it reminds me of— stop! Stop thinking!

Isang katok ang nagpabaling sa akin sa pintuan. Angelo entered the office with a grim expression as he threw the sugar on Ci's hands. Ci was fast that he catched it at instant. I can see it now, one of his strength— speed.

"Sa susunod, si Mavrik na ang uutusan kong bumili ng mga pinapabili niya. Hindi kita puwedeng iwan dito." Seryosong saad ni Angelo.

I shrugged and stood. Ci straightened his back as I stepped close to him. He was holding his breath when we were few inches away from each other, gripping the sugar tight in his hands, I grabbed the sugar he was holding and turned my back on him.

He has long lashes.

Umiling ako nang mapagtanto ang iniisip. Pumasok ako sa pantry at narinig ko ang magaan ngunit mariin niyang yapak sa likod ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ang dami kong napapansin sa ginagawa niya ngayon.

"Pagtitimplahan mo siya ng kape?" Gulat na saad ni Angelo.

Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit. Bakit nga ba?

"Naaawa ako." That's the most plausible answer.

Angelo scoffed but I ignored him. I threw the black coffee I stirred earlier and create a new one. This time, with a right amount of sugar. Not too sweet but not too bitter. I gave it to Ci who was avoiding his eyes at me or at Angelo, looking flustered.

"Ci." I offered the coffee.

Tinanggap niya ito at tahimik na nagpasalamat. I tilted my head and stared at him. His voice was soft when he whispered, different from his usual gruff tone.

Tahimik siyang humigop habang si Angelo ay masama pa rin ang tingin kay Ci.

"Akala ko ba gusto mo siyang tanggalin sa trabaho?" Si Angelo.

"My decision doesn't change. He's not meant to be my bodyguard but that doesn't mean we should treat him rudely." I said, changing my idea of being rude to him so he would resign. Nakakaawa siya, wala naman siyang ginawang masama para magalit ako.

Natigil sa paghigop ng kape si Ci at nag-angat ng tingin sa akin. His black eyes widened and I raised my brow at him.

"I trained military for five years, I am sure this is my job." Mariin niyang sabi.

"Let's see about that." I said. I don't think he'll be able to handle my job. I kill and shoot people— people I don't know the reason why I kill, I just do it because that's what Henry told me to do.

Hindi ako ang namamahala dahil 'bobo' daw ako, that's what Kasandra says. Yes, I do not want to address them as Papa or Mom— stepmom in my mind. At least when they're not around. This is my form of silent rebellion. Although I still couldn't find myself openly displeasing them.

Kaya kahit na may opisina ako, wala akong ginagawa kundi ang manood ng movie or kung ano-ano. My job is to shoot, not to use my brain but to use my eyes. He's even pressuring me to marry someone so I could give him a heir he will one day mold into his own ambition,  not someone like me who's dumb. That's why I refuse— subtly. I told him I was too busy to find time but I know my excuse won't last long. I'm past legal age and he wants to have a heir as fast as possible, maybe that's why he hired Ci, so he could see if there is another woman.

A woman he can kill once he discover is not worthy enough to be the mother of his heir.

"It's time." I stood when six in the morning hit the clock.

Angelo nodded and made some calls. Sinulyapan ko si Ci na seryoso lang ang tingin sa harapan niya. His face was neutral.

"Change clothes." I said and passed by him. Tanging tango ang sagot niya bago lumabas.

Dali-dali akong naligo at nagbihis. I wore a black t-shirt, black leather jacket and pants. It's casual. Nang lumabas ay nakasalubong ko si Ci na nakasuot na ng uniporme niya. He had some earpiece as well as he looked straight.

"Prepare to protect me as I shoot the target." I said seriously and he glanced at me for a second.

Nilagpasan ko siya at sinundan si Angelo sa labas. We head to a bullet-proof car as some guards follow me. Mavrik, who've been waiting for me opened the door and gave me black gloves and black mask, I accepted it and entered the car. Pinagmasdan ko si Ci na tahimik na pumasok sa likod ng sasakyan. Maya-maya'y pumasok na si Mavrik sa driver's seat at sinulyapan si Ci.

"New bodyguard." I informed and assembled my rifle.

Tanging tango ang sagot niya bago niya pinaharurot ang sasakyan. Straight eight am, we arrived at the venue. I put the rifle inside a gig bag and went out of the car. I motioned Mavrik to follow me five minutes later along with Ci, he nodded.

Nang makalabas ako sa sasakyan ay tininangala ko ang abandonadong gusali. I went inside and put my black mask on. Sira-sira na ang pader at ang hagdan ay wala nang mahahawakan. I slowly stepped upwards until I reached the top. Nang nasalubong na ako ng malamig na pang-umagang hangin ay dahan-dahan na akong dumapa para matutok ang baril sa kung saan maglalakad ang target.

Maya-maya'y naglakad na ang target. He walked with pure ease along with his bodyguards. This is the place of his dealer's meet-up. A man in his fifties with white hair and wrinkles. I can see his face really well through the lens of the sniper. A cross surrounding his whole figurine, ready to be shot by my trigger.

"Fire at one o' clock." I said to the head piece.

"Copy." Angelo answered.

And then fire. I shoot him straight to the head. A loud boom echoed as the bodyguards spread in alarm. I shoot another guard who tried to shoot Angelo's location and consecutive shots were made by the target's men.

"Boss!"

I groaned when a sudden weight crashed against my body as a bang rang in my ears. It hit the wall where I was positioned earlier. The sniper found my spot.

"Fuck. A sniper on spot. I repeat, a sniper on spot." Angelo's voice echoed against my earpiece. "Boss?"

"Indeed." I groaned against the small weight of this new bodyguard. The intel didn't tell us there was a sniper!

"Wrong target. The target escaped. The man who was shot is a disguise." Mavrik reported on the line.

Umalis si Ci sa pagkakapatong sa akin. I heaved a sigh when another shot was made.

"Position to shoot. Back-up sniper, eleven o 'clock."

"Copy." Mavrik answered.

I glanced at Ci who's eyes were sharp. He grabbed his silencer and roamed his eyes around. I stood but then I heard his loud curse as he pulled me down again, another shot. The bullet almost grazed my face if he was seconds late.

"Two fucking sniper on spot. Use the shot made as a parameter of his location." I ordered Mavrik.

"Copy, sir."

Nilingon ko si Ci na mariin ang hawak sa kamay ko, halos ibaon niya ang kuko rito at ramdam ko ang panlalamig nito. He looked pale as if he almost lost his life. Well, that was close, the bullet almost hit my face.

"Hindi ka ba natatakot?!" He suddenly burst.

"It's normal." I said calmly.

"Normal?! Ang bobo mo, bakit ka kasi tumayo?!" He fumed, his nostrils flare and he looked so ready to kill me.

"Calm down. Walang nangya—"

"Kung hindi kita hinila, baka patay ka na! Ano ba kasing nasa loob ng kokote mo?! Hangin?!" He glared at me, I glared back.

"Garcia, you must've forget who among the two of us is the boss." I remind him coldly.

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin at bumuntong-hininga. I understand his outburst, today is his official first day of work, it must've shocked him. That is why I don't think he deserves this job.

"Target on the loose." Angelo reported.

"Back-out. They have back-up." I ordered.

Ibinalik ko ang atensyon kay Ci, his eyes were still glaring at nothingness, he looked mad. I sighed and tried to stand again but he gave me a warning glance.

"They're on loose." I said.

"Hindi ka pa rin nakakaisiguro."

I sighed. "Anong gusto mo? Mag-antay tayo hanggang gabi rito?" Kalmado kong tanong.

Mas lalong sumama ang tingin niya. Napailing nalang ako at hinawakan ang ear-peace. "Check if the spot is clear."

"Clear, sir. Snipers are shot." Mavrik said on the line.

Tumango ako at tumayo. Ci glared at me but I offered him my hands. He's really not meant for this job. I'm convinced.

"Stand-up. Two snipers are dead." I informed him.

"Kahit na! Hindi mo nga alam na may sniper pala kanina!" He's still high from the shot earlier.

"The intel didn't inform us."

"Sa tingin mo naman tama na sila ngayon?!"

I sighed. "Fine then. If you want to stay there whole night. Then stay." Tinalikuran ko siya at naglakad na palayo.

"Hindi ka ba takot na mamatay?! Kung makalakad ka parang hindi ka halos namatay kanina?!" Narinig kong habol niya sa likod, hinihingal at mukhang galit pa rin.

"Death don't scare me at all." I said in all honesty.

Ever since I lost someone I cherish, I've never been afraid of death.

Tahimik kami buong biyahe. Ci looked to be in bad mood as Angelo and I talked. He told there's a possible spy who leaked the information and that's what I thought. Our mission would be on halt until we discovered the spy.

Nang makabalik kami sa mansyon ay bumalik ako sa opisina. I rested on my usual chair as Ci stood stiff once again beside the door.

"Still in bad mood?" I stared at his harsh and grim expression.

Hindi niya ako sinagot. Nanatili siyang tahimik at nakatingin sa harapan. I chuckled and shook my head. He glanced and glared at me for a second before he shifted his glare away from my stare.

"I told you, this job is not meant for you." I said in a matter-of-fact and moved the chair in rhythm.

"From what I remember, I did my part well. Kung wala ako kanina baka patay ka na ngayon." Malamig niyang saad.

Napailing ako napangisi. "Angelo would've done the same if he was in your position." I pointed out to push his buttons.

"I don't think he's competent. He didn't even know there's a sniper before I discover it and pulled you down."

"If Angelo hear this, he would probably kill you." I said with a smirk.

"Likewise." He shrugged nonchalantly, still grim.

Natahimik ako at isinandal ang ulo sa upuan. I stared at him for a second, a minute, until an hour passed and I found myself drooping. I had a fast nap. Fast enough before the dreams— nightmares would occur.

Nang idilat ko ang mata ko ay nagtama ito sa mata ni Ci. He's few meters away from me, wiping the sweat off. He looked worried and sick. He's pale as if I almost lost my life.

Why... why does he remind me of someone?

Napansin niyang nakadilat na ako kaya humakbang siya paatras at ibinalik ang kaninang ekspresyon. He put the wipes down and looked at me coldly.

"You had a nightmare." He said.

Good. At least I don't remember.

Tumango ako at tumayo. Umatras siya at bumalik sa dati niyang puwesto. I stared at him.

"Kumain ka na?" Tanong ko kahit halata namang hindi pa.

He looked at me like I'm a dumb human being. I blinked. What? I just wanted to confirm it!

"Wala pa." Sagot niya.

Tumango ako. "Kumain na tayo."

He was about to say a word but I left him and went to the pantry room. Kumuha ako ng dalawang cup noodlea at niligay ito sa microwave. I glanced at the door and saw Ci standing stiff on the threshold.

I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest, staring at him. He's so small, I want to tease him. He's too stiff and too serious. Well, Angelo is serious like him but he's just... you know... cute?

"'Wag mo akong titigan." Aniya kaya napatuwid ako ng tayo.

I cleared my throat and sighed. Bakit nagkakaganito ako? Hindi naman ako ganito kay Angelo, ah?

Tumunog ang microwave kaya napabaling ako roon. I opened the door and grabbed the teo cupnoodles. The temoerature doesn't affect me.

"Kain." I said and grabbed two pair of chopstick. Umupo ako sa isang upuan at nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya.

Ci tilted his head at me, he looked confused by my action. I'm confused as well.

"Kumain ka, alam kong gutom ka na." Sabi ko at tinulak ang cup noodles.

He sighed and nodded. Unti-unti siyang lumapit at umupo sa katabing upuan. He opened the cuo noodles and started eating. One slurp or noddles, he continued eating like a hungry beast. There's even an excess of shrimp beside his mouth.

I unconsciously removed the excess off his mouth. He didn't flinch as if thag move didn't bother him. He continued eating and another excess left his mouth, I wiped it off using my thumb.

"Ang dumi mo kumain." Puna ko.

"Gutom ako." Hindi siya bumaling sa akin.

"Dahan-dahan." I remind him but he didn't listen.

Another excess. I sighed and glared at his lips. Then blink. Something in my guts squeezed as if it's been hit by something. His lips were natural pink...

Why... why does she keep appearing on my mind?