Her

Hindi ako nakapagsalita doon. Madona stromed out of the room amd Ana followed through, holding my mask. Drizzy glared at me before she followed Madona.

"Wait! Madona!" Habol ko nang mabalik sa ulirat.

Hindi ako pinakinggan ni Madona. I huffed and tried to chase for her so I can get my shoes back. Bahala na 'yang damit at maskara na pinaghirapan ko! Basta ibalik niya lang ang sapatos!

"Ang sapa—"

My words halt when Madona opened the window on the hallway of the attic and threw my shoes before I could even scream at her. Nalaglag ang panga ko sa ginawa niya. Nilingon niya ako at kahit na ayaw kong ipakita ang galit, ang luhang nagbabadya dahil sa matinding galit, unti-unti silang bumaba.

"That's for lying." At tinalikuran niya ako.

I felt like my heart fell along with the shoes. But it's a different kind of falling unlike when I'm with Erikson. This time, the fall was destructive, breaking my bones into pieces, completely wrecking me in pain. Tiningnan ko ang bintana at tumulo ang luha ko nang walang makitang presensya ng sapatos ko. Tanging matataas na puno at kahoy ang nakita ko pero hindi ako susuko! Baka nandoon lang iyon!

So I ran downstairs and didn't spare them a glance. Lumabas ako at pinuntahan ang bakuran kung nasaan ang kakahuyan, I ran and tried to search for the shoes as the leaves under my feet crunched. Papalubog na ang araw at malapit na ang gabi pero hindi ako uuwi hanggang hindi ko nakikita ang sapatos! Erikson gave me that shoes! I will treasure it like it's my life on the line!

Pero wala, eh. Ilang oras na akong lumilibot sa gubat pero ni isa ay wala akong makitang sapatos ko. Kaunti nalang ay titigil na ako. Malamig na ang simoy ng hangin at madilim na rin ang kagubatan. Puno na ng lamok at rinig ko ang ingay ng mga kulingling. Pagod na ako, tuyo na rin ang luhang kanina pa tumutulo habang naghahanap.

Sapatos lang 'yan. The devil in me whispered.

I wish it's just a shoes for me but it's not! It was a gift! A gift I never thought I would receive after my mother died. My Papa loves me but he was too busy grieving for my Mother's death that he neglected me and my birthdays. Until we lost a fortune and he couldn't afford giving me anything. Until he met Madona and forgot my birthdays completely. Until he met an accident. I never received a gift from anyone.

And Erikson... he was the first person who gave me a gift. I have always thought that receiving gift was a luxury I couldn't afford. Once you received a gift, it means someone still cares for you. Choosing a gift is hard, and the time you sacrifice to choose a gift means you care for the person that much to give them gifts.

I don't care if there are people who gives gift without meaning. But I... I treasure gifts a lot. Gifts, they heal my wounded childhood heart who hoped every birthdays to receive a gift but received none.

And to lost that precious gift... it means losing a part of piece I found when Erikson gave me that gift.

I sat on the branch and closed my eyes as my heart sank in millions of curses and anger meant for Madona.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Hindi ka pwede pumatay, Cindy. Kung papatay ka ng tao, ikaw lang ang magbabayad. Walang magbabayad sa bills ng Papa mo.  'Tsaka ka na maghihiganti kapag may kaya ka na.

My ears rang when I heard a crunch of leaves from somewhere. I huffed but didn't open my eyes. I'm too exhausted and drained, and mad, to even care for anyone.

"May hinahanap ka ba?" A soft warm voice spoke.

Binuksan ko ang mata ko at tumama ito sa mata ng matandang babae. She looked old but not old enough, maybe in her forties? She was smiling gently at me and she was a really beautiful woman.

My lips parted to utter a word but a gasp escaped when she lifted her hands up and a familiar shoes shone in front of me. My eyes twinkled as my tears cascaded once again due to the overwhelming emotions— shock, happiness, relief. Tangina, nahanap ko na!

Napatayo ako at niyakap ang sapatos nang ibigay niya ito sa akin. She laughed gently and I couldn't help but hug her as well.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." I chanted out of happiness.

"You're welcome." She looked at me with her genuine smile.

"Anong pong pangalan mo?" I asked and smiled at her. How I wish she was the woman my Papa had chosen instead of Madona.

"Tawagin mo nalang akong Elena." She pat my shoulders and stepped back.

"Aalis na po kayo? Puwede—"

"Aalis na ako, hija. Nakita ko lang ang sapatos sa kung saan kaya pinulot ko. Nakita kong mukhang problemado ka kaya nilapitan kita at tama nga ako na sa 'yo iyan." Turo niya sa sapatos na mahigpit kong hinahawakan.

I bit my lower lip and tried my best to stop my tears again. This is a very precious gift! Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko kung nawala nga ito ng tuluyan! And I am so happy I found it! She found it!

Baka pa ako lubusang makapagpasalamat ay iniwan na ako ng babae. I stared at the path where she left for a minute before deciding to go back to where I live. I sighed and tried to tiptoe when I entered the backdoor. I could hear Drizzy's loud phone call from the telephone, Ana's strained voice, and Madona scolding Ana for her awful voice.

Mabuti naman at payapa akong nakaakyat sa third floor kung saan ang kuwarto ko. I locked the door and dragged a small table to lock it completely. I heaved a sigh when I'm finally alone in my room.

I slept that night with piece, holding the shoes in my hands tight, afraid that it might disappear if I let go. I didn't even mind the hunger as long as the gift Erikson gave me was with me.

Kinabukasan ay itinago ko sa pinaksulok kung saan walang makakita ng sapatos ko. I hid it under the broken floor I hid to hide all the money Papa left me alone with my precious gift.

Tahimik lang ako nang bumaba ako at tulad ng inaasahan ay tulog pa silang lahat dahil hindi pa nga simat ang araw. Lumabas ako para maglaba kahit na malamig pa ang tubig. Sanay naman na ako 'tsaka kapag hindi ko 'to sisimulan, baka hindi ako matapos bago mag-alasdose.

So with the thought of meeting him at noon, I drove myself to finish this chore at instant so we could talk some more.

Nakakalahati na ako sa paglalaba nang marinig ko ang maingay na bangayan ni Drizzy at Ana sa loob. Napailing nalang ako.

"Akin na 'yang damit ni Cindy! Bagay 'yan sa akin! Parehas kami ng katawan!" Bulyaw ni Ana.

"Ako ang nakakita ng damit na 'to! Akin 'to!"

I sighed. They're fighting over the crochet dress I wore on Erikson's birthday. Maganda iyon at nanghihinayang ako pero alam ko namang kaya kong gumawa ng bago dahil madaming istambre si Mama sa kabinet niya. Mahilig din kasing maggantsilyo si Mama at lumaki akong pinagmamasdan siyang gumagawa ng damit ko gamit iyon.

"Cindy!"

I sighed loud when the door banged loud and Ana called my name so loud. Nilingon ko siya at namumula siya ngayon sa galit, mahigpit na nakayakap sa damit ko.

"Sabihin mong akin 'to!" Sigaw niya sa akin.

"Ako ang nauna! At wala siyang karapatang magdesisyon!" Si Drizzy sa likod niya.

"Tumahimik kayong dalawa! Ang pangit-pangit ng damit pinag-aagawan niyo! Madami tayong pera pambili ng mas maganda!" Iritadong sigaw ni Madona sa dalawa.

"Pero ito ang gausto ni Hendrik!" Giit ni Drizzy.

"Bagay 'to sa akin!" Si Ana.

"Guguntungin ko 'yan!" Banta ni Madona kaya nanlaki ang mata ko at napatayo.

Wala akong pakealam kung sino ang magmamay-aru ng damit pero hindi ako papayag na sisirain lang nila ang pinaghirapan ko! That dress doesn't deserve to be violated! I made it with all my heart and it should be taken care of!

"Ana, bagay sa 'yo 'yan." Kalmado kong sabi kahit na gustong-gusto ko nang sugurin ang dalawa at agawin ang damit ko.

Ana's eyes widened as she looked at Drizzy with a victorious smirk. Drizzy's mouth gaped as she looked at me incredulously.

"Akin daw!" Mayabang na saad ni Ana.

Drizzy rolled her eyes at us. "Whatever! Pangit naman 'yan!" And she stomped out of our sight.

I heaved a sigh and thanked the heavens it was done. Tinapos ko ang labahin ko nang mabilisan pagkatapos ay nagnakaw ng isang pirasong tinapay sa kusina dahil gutom ako.

"Cindy! Aalis kami sa bahay! Linisin mo ang bahay ng maayos! Huwag mong subukang umalis dahil lagot la!" Biglaang sigaw ni Drizzy sa kung saan kaya napatalon ako sa gulat.

Then the door banged with the chatters of the two. Tumakbo ako malapit sa bintana at tinanaw silang papalayo sa bahay. My eyes widened in happiness because I can finally eat at peace!

Kinain ko ang tirang ulam na natira at nagluto ng panibagong kanin. Nang mabusog ako ay 'tsaka ko napagdesisyonang maligo dahil malapit na ang alas dose.

I put on a white strap dress and a little just a very little amount of lipstick I stole from Ana. Hindi ko naman ninakaw! Tinapon niya kaya nasayangan ako at kinuha ko.

Bakit ka nagpapaganda, Cindy?

Umiling ako sa sarili at bumaba na, half-running. Paglalabas na pagkalabas ko pa lang sa bahay ay napaigik ako nang makita si Erikson sa labas ng fence, sumusulyap sa loob. When he saw me, his eyes twinkled as he waved his hands.

"Good afternoon, Cinderella!" He winked at me and my heart fucking fell for nth time.

"My name is Ella." I said seriously.

"I brought you your favorite chocolates, Cinderella." He ignored my words.

"Huwag mo akong tawaging ganyan." Dahil hindi kaya ng puso ko!

"Do you prefer I call you princess?"

"No!" Besides, Princess sounds like another woman's name, not mine!

"Then let's stick with Cinderella."

I huffed and opened the fence door for him. Walang tao kaya puwede siyang pumasok ngayon. Siguro ay dahil hindi siya sanay kaya nagulat siya.

"Pasok." Sabi ko.

"Did you..." He tilted his head to the side as he stared at me. My eyes widened when he looked down on my tinted lips.

"H-Huh?"

"Mapula ang labi mo." He pointed out, mas lalo akong namula.

"Natural 'yan!" I lied.

"I don't think so, Cinderella. You have a natural pink lips and not red." Umiling siya sa akin.

"Paano ka nakakasiguro? Labi ko 'to, ako ang may alam!" Giit ko.

"Sigurado ako, lagi kong tinitingnan, eh."

Natigilan ako roon, nanlaki ang mata niya nang mapagtanto ang sinabi. For a moment, we stared at each other in silence, both shock.

"I mean..." He cleared his throat as his ears flushed.

"Pumasok ka nalang!"

Nagkamot siya ng batok at nag-aalinlangan na pumasok sa bahay. I locked the fence and walked towards the door when he waited for me. Binuksan ko ang double doors at nilingon siya na nanatiling nakatayo malapit sa fence, hindi man lang humakbang para makapasok.

"Pasok na." Tawag ko.

He scrunched his nose and stepped forward. He looked hesitant but decided to enter the house.

Sinarado ko ang pinto at naunang umupo sa couch. Simple lang ang bahay namin, gawa sa semento pero malaki ito. Malaki ang espasyo kaya nakakapagod ding linisin ang bawat sulok.

Nilingon ko si Erikson na nakatayo pa rin malapit sa pintuan tulad ng tayo niya kanina sa labas, halatang hindi alam ang gagawin. I sighed and tapped the space beside me. Ngumuso siya at kahit mukhang alinlangan ay tumabi sa akin.

"Walang tao?" Tanong niya.

"Wala. Nasa Bayan siguro." I shrugged and glanced at the chocolate box I was trying my best not to glance at.

"You want chocolates, Cinderella?" He teased me with that nickname again.

"Huwag mo nga akong tinatawag na ganyan!" Iritado kong sabi.

"I'll give you chocolates if you let me call you Cinderella." He bargained.

"Tsk. I'm not a chocolate addict." I shook my head and acted nonchalant.

He shrugged and smirked. "Okay. If you say so." He said and opened the box, I gulped.

Kumuha siya ng isa at inilagay sa labi niya. I heard a crunch of my favorite chocolate and I need to breathe deeply so I can control my emotions.

Crunch. Crunch.

"Mukhang mauubos ko 'to, ah." Bulong niya sa sarili pero rinig na rinig ko.

I cursed and glared at him. Tumigil siya sa pagnguyo at inosente akong tiningnan.

"Fine." I said bregrudgingly.

Nagtaas siya ng kilay sa akin kaya mas lalong nalukot ang muka ko.

"Fine what?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Fine. Call me Cinderella or whatever shit is that. Akin na." Inilahad ko ang kamay ko sa kaniya.

Ngumisi siya at ibinigay sa akin ang box. I sighed and grabbed a piece. Isang kagat palang, nawala na ang init ng ulo ko.

"Ano pang gusto mong makain?" He asked all of a sudden.

Natigil ako sa pagnguya at nilingon siya. He was staring intently at me with his deep set gray eyes. I paused for a while. Not knowing if I should really voice it out.

"Nakita ko si Drizzy na may kinakain na mukhang masarap." Panimula ko.

Tumango siya. "Ano 'yon?"

"I heard it's something like stik?" Hindi ako sigurado sa sinabi ko basta gano'n iyon.

"Stik?" He asked, confused.

"Yes. Stik. Burger stik?" Alinlangan pa akong idagdag ang burger dahil mukhang hindi naman iyon burger dahil walang tinapay. Inulam iyon ni Drizzy at bangong-bango ako roon.

Natigilan siya ng ilang minuto bago niya iyon napagtanto. Natawa siya kaya kumunot ang noo ko.

"You mean Burger Steak?"

When the words came out from his mouth, I nodded. It was a familiar term I heard from Drizzy. Natawa siyi ulit at ngayon ko lang napagtanto na ang layo ng pagkakabigkas ko sa tamang bigkas noon.

"Shut-up!" Iritado kong sigaw nang hindi siya tumigil sa pagtawa.

Tumigil siya sa pagtawa pero namumula pa rin ang mukha dahil sa pagpigil nito. I glared at him and he smiled sheepishly at me.

"Sorry." He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I'll bring you one tomorrow." He promised.

Napangiti ako roon. I can't wait to taste and savor it! Mukhang masarap.

"A Burger Stik." He repeated my pronunciation and my smile disappeared.

"Labas na!" Tinuro ko ang pinto palabas.

"Joke lang!" Aniya pero natawa pa rin, napailing ako.

"I'll wait for that food tomorrow, Erikson." I said and munched a chocolate, ignoring his laughter.

"Okay, Cinderella." He winked and I smiled at him.

But that was it.

Because the next day, he didn't come.

And then the next and next... and next. There was no sign of him and his presence.

He ghosted me.