12/5/15

A KNOCK SOUNDS from the front door as Hayley, Maxine, and I sit in front of the space heater we splurged on for the apartment.

It's been an unseasonably cold winter and we have been getting the brunt of it up here lately. Below zero temperatures, and snow several feet tall lining the streets.

"Nose goes," Hayley said as her pointer finger flies to her nose and Maxine quickly follows.

"Shit," I grumble as I shrug off my fleece blanket and stand up from the warmth of the heater.

I make my way over to the door as giggles follow me. "Oh, shut it," I tell my friends who are still well heated.

Our heater is broken, and we are also broke so it's not like we can afford to up the heat in the apartment even if it did work.

Another knock sounds from the door. "I'm coming," I respond as annoyance slices through my voice.

I open the door and my body tense as it waits for the wave of cold to hit me, but as my eyes land on the person in front of me I run cold for a completely other reason.

"Cale," I breathe.

His cheeks and nose are wind blown and flushed as his warm hazel eyes lock on mine. A smile breaks across his still beautiful face. "Hi," he responds simply.

"Uh...um...what?" I rasp out unable to form a coherent question.

It's been four months since I last set eyes on Cale Hasting. Since he ran out on my sister before their wedding because he told her he still loved me.

"Can we talk?" he asks. I think he can see the indecision clear as day on my face as his next words are rushed out. "It will be quick," he says. "Promise," he adds.

I turn my head to look back at my roommates and while Maxine looks confused, Hayley's eyes are wide with shock at the man standing in our doorway.

"Um..." I pause again still trying to put together what is actually happening. I honestly thought I would never see Cale again. A small part of me hoped, but the realistic side of me squashed that hope immediately.

Hayley stands up from the ground quickly coming to my aid helping as my brain stops working from pure shock. "Max and I wanted to check out my room cause...cause—"

"Cause she has this new sweater I wanted to try on?" Maxine finishes for her though her words come out sounding like a question rather then a statement.

"Yes," Hayley agrees swiftly as her eyes widen. "What she said," she adds as they scurry off towards Hayley's room.

As soon as the shut of her door echoes through the hallway my eyes fly back to Cale who might as well be frozen.

"Come in," I say as I step aside. "I guess," I add awkwardly though I say it more to myself then Cale.

He comes in and runs a hand through his hair to shake out the snowflakes that dot his head. Cale's eyes scan the apartment quickly before he turns to face me. It's weird after this summer to see him again. To have him near me, and all his attention on me.

I cross my arms and take a step towards the shut door trying to keep as much space between us as possible. "So," I start as I swallow the nerves within me. "You wanted to talk?"

Cale nods as he slips off his gloves. "Yeah," he says. He clears his throat before speaking, "You look great."

I look down at the hardwood floors of our apartment because his words make my heart squeeze with a feeling I haven't felt in years. It makes me nervous, and it makes me want more of something I shouldn't want. Him.

"Cale..." I start but I can't finish. I don't know what to say or where to go from here.

"I want to apologize," he says after a long pause that hangs in the air between us.

"Apologize?" I question. "What?"

He takes a small step forward, hesitation filling his body as he can sense my discomfort at him in the same space with me. "I was lucky enough to love you that summer," he says as a small smile touches his perfect lips. "You were everything I didn't know I needed Gray. You were beautiful, sweet, and your laugh—"

I cut Cale off because his words make my heart ache with memories of our times together. "Please, I—"

He steps closer. "No, I can't stop," he finishes my unheard words. "I was lucky to have had you and I ruined it because I was young and stupid. I know that. I know I fucked up beyond words, but seeing you again this summer," he pauses as his eyes shut just for a moment. "My whole body felt alive again, and that's because of you. I really did think I loved Bailey, and in small ways she reminded me of you but..." he trails not finishing his words.

"But what?" I ask as my heart beats a mile a minute in surprise at his words.

"But she wasn't you," he finishes. "No matter how much I tried she could never be you Gray, and I know what happened this summer wasn't perfect—"

I scoff cutting him off.

"I know," he agrees. Though my words are unspoken, it's obvious where I am coming from. "I fucked up everything, I went about things wrong, and I'm sorry for everything," he says.

"You should be apologizing to Bailey," I tell him point blank.

He nods in agreement. "You're right," he coincides. "And I have because what I put her through was wrong. I wasn't strong enough to let her go before things went too far."

"Why are you saying all this Cale?" I ask.

He takes one more step towards me. Now he is standing just arms distance in front of me. "Because I love you Gray," he states as if it's simple.

Tears sting my eyes at his words. Words I craved years ago and in a twisted way received this summer. "I...I don't...I..." I stutter unable to form the many thoughts flying through my head and my heart in this moment.

"Tell me you don't love me and I will leave," he tells me.

I open my mouth to state otherwise, but I can't. I know why and so does Cale, I can't speak because my objection would be a lie. I do love him. I will always love him. He is my first love, and I know we shouldn't love like our first love because it's wild and burns too bright. But I want wild, and I want Cale.

Words don't leave my mouth before he rushes the few feet towards me. He doesn't touch me, as he knows it would cross a line too soon for us, but his body comes up close.

"Go on a date with me," he requests.

"What?" I barely breathe out.

"Date," he repeats. "You and me, food, drinks," he says as a smile breaks out over his handsome face.

"I'd have to talk to Bailey—"

"I've already talked to her—"

"What?" I cut him off now.

"Yeah," he says. "I want this Gray, and I want this the right way for once. So I asked her and we talked for a long time and she just wants us both to be happy," he explains.

"I just talked to her yesterday why didn't she mention this?" I ask confused.

"Because I asked her to keep it a secret until I came here to talk to you in person."

"Oh," is all I can breathe out.

"So..." he trails.

"So what?" I ask, my mind racing as I lose track of where this conversation is heading.

"Back to the date I asked you on," he smirks.

Nerves bubble up through my body and a part of me wants to run away from Cale and everything. But the larger part of me is intrigued and wants to go on this date to get some more answers. I was so broken, and honestly a part of me still is from that summer. I won't say I'm all healed up now, but I'm close. I am happy with my friends and no man defines me or my happiness, not even Cale.

If I take this step, even if it turns into nothing I know it will be on my terms. I was lost for years, and it took time to find myself and to find true self-happiness. But I did, and no one can take that away from me.

So I take a gigantic leap. "One date," is all I agree to.

Cale tries to cover up the victorious smile that threatens to break loose on his face. "That is all I'm asking for," he says repeating those exact same words from years earlier that got me in to this mess to begin with.

I want to laugh, I want to cry, and I want to scream and do all three at the same time. But instead I open the door behind myself, and watch Cale walk back into the frozen tundra of Illinois.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he says as he slips on his gloves.

"Okay," I agree quietly. I meet his eyes one last time, with a small smile touching my lips before I close the door placing my back against it. My eyes flutter shut in excitement and nervousness.

I open my eyes when I hear footsteps and see Maxine and Hayley standing in front of me with wide eyes and eager smiles. "What happened?" they almost shout at the same time.

"He asked me out," I answer slowly still in disbelief of what just happened.

"And what did you say?" Maxine asks next.

"I said yes," I respond still breathless.

Sometimes life leads us where we least expect it.

I know it did for me, because it lead me right back to the beginning.

Back to Cale.

•

Author's note:

*Bonus chapter in Cale's POV at the beginning of Hidden*

!PLEASE READ!

Cale and Grayson's story is far from perfect. I am not excusing either of their actions in this book nor am I saying what they did was right. But it's also very real. Love isn't perfect all the time. It can be very messy and filled with so many mistakes, but that doesn't mean you can't want to change that.

In the end Grayson's story is all about finding herself and realizing that no one, not even Cale, can define her happiness. She has amazing friends and an amazing family who love her deeply and now she can move forward on the right foot with Cale and try love with her whole heart.

I also want to add that I could've written Cale as this major heartthrob where you all fell instantly in love with him and wouldn't even care that Gray was hooking up with her sister's fiancé. But you notice I didn't do that. Because I'm not going to romanticize their mistakes. They ARE mistakes. But again that doesn't mean you can't learn from them and move past them and try to do better. Trying to work past your issues doesn't make a relationship toxic. It makes it real.

Again thank you to everyone who took the time to read, vote and comment on this book. You all made it so much fun to write this book, and your words of encouragement helped push me when I was in a rut writing wise. Thank you all for everything, you have no idea how much I appreciate you all! Especially the ones who've been here from the beginning thank you for sticking around for so long hehe

Much love ♥︎