I don't know what I am turning into
But I am sure I am loosing myself in this life's mess - Anonymous

" when will you move on beta it has been two years ? " Her mother said seeing her daughter face in pain . Seeing her daughter like this... like living lifeless her heart wrenched ,

They know because of them their daughter lost her smile.

" Maa please I don't want to talk now "
She said conceal her face in pillow. Her life become a hell, on all that everyday people sprinkle salt on the burn. She don't want to leave, she don't want anyone's pity, she don't want anyone's taunt she just want a peaceful life.

Her mother can't see her like this. Every day she is fighting with fire .
Her innocent daughter changed all. She is not like this before

She is just 22, what was her fault if she became widow in such age. She will change her life . She left from her room.

After her mother leave she crying hysterically, she has no one now Why?
Why? What is her fault? Why her life became hell? What was her fault if her husband left her on second day of marriage? She always listened to everyone? Does she have no right to her life? She is cursing the day when her parents accept proposal without her acceptance? Without her knowledge? She did want to stop them and she tried too but then her parents gave her their sappy lecture

She remembered clearly how her life turnes up and down
.....................................................................

Flashback....

Khushi is playing Holi with her friends when her aunt came home ,she know her aunt don't like colors on her, she purposely without her knowing put the color on her face from behind, her aunt screamed like she saw a ghost, everyone laughed after seeing this her
Aunt caught her ear tightly " Ahhhhh

" badmassh tu nhi sudarne vali " her aunt said still hand on her ear. Seeing this her father came for her rescue

( Naughty girl when will you behave like a women)

" Didi leave her she is just a kid and these are colours which make our life beautiful " her father said removing hand from her daughter's ear. She glanced at her aunt and show her tongue and hide behind her father.

" Itna sar par na chada bigad jayegi chori, Aur sabko pata h mujhe rang lagana pasand nhi h phir bhi ye nhi manti " her aunt said removing colors from her which drops on her Saree.

( Don't take her side , she will be spoiled and all know I don't like colors still she put on me , she never listen to anyone)

" oh Bua sometimes you just need a little splash of color in your boring life ,there is no beauty without colors ,it is a power which directly influenced a soul . Don't just live a life of black and white when there's is a spectrum of colors available for you you just have to play and express yourself " khushi said to her aunt who make sulk face

" OK miss gyan ki Devi Now will you stay here or make some tea for me and Bhai I have to talk some important matter to you " her aunt said leaving her they went to the hall and she went towards kitchen.

Her aunt suggest a proposal for her her parents didn't deny because she is elder in family and also boy is from a good family and a army person, he also earn well they think he is suitable for their only daughter without informing her they accept the proposal.

Her dreams shatters when she came to know about her marriage ,she don't want to marriage like this, she don't even know him, she want a man who is sensible and mature, who cares for her, who love her, who respect her, who understands her but no her parents didn't even think to let her know once
How can she survive if the man is opposite to her liking? What will she do then? She fights with parents on this topic, she even say she don't want to marry yet but they didn't gave any heed to her talks they say they already gave promise to them now they don't break this promise. This is the first time when her parents didn't listen to her, it's not like they don't love her but due to living in orthodox society her parents become like this, they can't go against them . After lots of nights spending she agreed to marry because she doesn't have any choice. After three months her wedding date is fixed
For her parents she put fake smile on her face and there is a little hope that her husband will be like how she expects.

After performing all the ritual she is married woman now, she is sitting on bed...... In her new home..... She is hell nervous.... She always thought why always girls have to leave their house? Why always girls have to sacrifice?

Her chain of thoughts break when she hear the click of door and saw a well built man enter, he looks good and fit n fine no doubt he is in army ,he sat in front of her she is nervous suddenly he held her hand and said " see I know this marriage happen in hurry we did not get a chance to know each other , our thoughts are different but see I want simple wife who take care of me and my family ,we have everything, there will be no shortage of money in your life if you want to ask me something you can ask me.

She stare at him what just he said? May be I can try on this relationship " who is your favorite actor " she ask bluntly

" I thought you will ask how much I earn but anyway .... I don't watch movies ,I don't likes movies I think they are wastage of time "

She don't like his answer she likes movies soo much she lowered her eyes, not because of shyness because of his views seeing her he continued " well now we are married and we are husband and wife ,and being a wife it is your duty that you take care of me ,keep me happy Huh? And he hold her hand again but she refused
" what happen? He asked calmly

"everything looked so awkward, everything happens so fast we did not know each other that well " she said

"it's OK everyone begins to have little nervousness at the beginning but don't worry slowly it will be all right " saying this he switched off the lights and they consummate their marriage much to her dislike she can't say no because it is his rights over his wife
Because that is what her mother " Don't deny your husband "

she feel nothing fresh tears are pouring from her eyes
There is no Love, no care, no bonding only adjustment is this how her life became now ? Will her life be like this now ? Closing her eyes she accepted her destiny.

Everything happens in a blur she don't how eight months had been passed since he went away day after tomorrow their wedding he got a call return on his job urgently because some terrorist attack on school building he have to report their soon
She is living like a lifeless her mother-in-law care for her but sometimes she also behave bitter

she feel lonely everyday day she wait for call Atleast one call ,....everyday she sit next to land-line if his call come but in these eight months he never called for once she is frustrating inside.

Her mother-in-law saw her but can't do anything because she knows how difficult is the job of army she felt that ...waiting.. Pain for her son now she can't see her daughter in-law like this .....she dialled number to his headquarters to know information about him

" ji mataji we can understand what is happening to you ?...we will notify you as soon as we know something.... Keep patience "

Everytime she call this is the only response she received and line disconnect after that ...whole one n half year passed still there is no reply from upper they lose the hope of his living alive his mother and wife is crying and comforting each other ....consoling each other

That day came when they got a call that they can't find the body of commander vikrant their life shattered..... The only person for whom they are living ....their hope shattered
Their dreams shatters..... Their life became devasted...... And more of all the girl..... who left her house for him... What now?....... What she do now?.... Her new life is not even started ? Ended before it started..... Where will she go now .....that day is the last day of her life .

But she didn't know life always start with the new chapter .