"James," Tyler said, standing at the end of his bed and looking down at him. "You need to get out of bed and do something".

"I went to school today," James protested, rolling onto his stomach so he didn't need to look up at his friend. "That's something".

There was a heavy sigh, and then the bed creaked as Ty sat at the bottom of it. This had become a sort of routine for James over the last two weeks– go to school, come home, crawl into bed, and then listen to whoever his mother had called to try to talk him out of bed that afternoon. Most of the time it was Tyler, but Mike had come over before too, as had Joe, though had had ended up with both of them in the bed side by side, and Mike coming over to lecture both of them. Daniel still had yet to make an appearance, though James's was quite okay with that.

"James, we're going to figure this out. You have to know that. We'll find out how to get Kalen back-"

"He's not coming back," James interjected, sounding tired when just a few days ago he had yelled this at Tyler. "Just stop... stop saying we can get him back, because we can't. He's sixteen, and his father wants him enrolled in boarding school in Minnesota, so he's going to stay enrolled in boarding school in Minnesota. That's how this works– that's how parents work".

"What am I supposed to say then James?" Tyler snapped, frustrated. "That you'll never see him again, and that you've lost another one of the most important people in your life? That's just depressing—"

"He's in Minnesota without a car or a phone, and his father informed the school to only grant him access to the websites that have to do with his education," James reminded softly, turning his head on his pillow to look down the bed at Tyler. "It is depressing".

Tyler just looked at him for a moment, eyes sympathetic before saying, "you gotta get out of bed man. Your mom is worried". At that, James chewed his lip, keeping the words, then why isn't she the one here from leaving his throat. "You can't go back to this, James. The laying in bed for hours on end stage. That's who you were before all of this, before Illinois and before Kalen. Don't let the impact he made on you just go to waste. Don't act like he didn't change you".

James just looked at him for a second longer before allowing his eyes to slide close. Tyler had a point. He didn't want his relationship with Kalen to be vain.

"Alright man," Tyler said, patting James's leg twice. "I'll leave you to think then. Call me if you suddenly decide you want to get out of the house, and I'll literally drop everything and come get you, Okay?"

"Okay," James grumbled, turning to press his face into his pillow. There was a creak as Tyler got off the bed, the mattress shifting, and then the sound of his socks on the hardwood flooring.

"Also, It wouldn't be the worst thing if you actually did some of your homework," Tyler advised, and before James could tell him to fuck off, or maybe laugh, because he felt like doing that for some reason, the sound of his door clicking shut hit his ears.

James did think, but not about Tyler's words– those made him feel guilty– but about that Saturday night, nearly two weeks past, when Michael had knocked on his door and told him that he wouldn't be seeing or hearing from Kalen for a while, that none of them would be. Even the triplets were forbidden from contacting Kalen, the number to school they could reach their youngest brother on hidden from them due to their betrayal of their father and their loyalty to Kalen. Mike had told him all of this with a blank face, seeming shocked by the whole situation himself, disappointed that he had let his guard down and dismissed his fathers suspicious behavior as work stuff, when in reality the man was making arrangements to tear Kalen away from them.

And then Michael had turned to him, blue eyes incredibly wide, and said, "I'm sorry, James," and then, to finish it all off– or start it really, since this was the first time these words had been spoken to him within the two week period, though they had been repeated many times– "we're going to figure this out".

James knew it was worse for the triplets than it was for him. He knew what it was like to have a brother taken from you, and even though Kalen was dead, he had been completely removed from their life for an indefinite time. They were hurting, of course they were, but they still had each other. James didn't feel like he had anyone, except for Tyler maybe, but that was very different. As much as he loved Tyler as a brother, his friend wasn't actually his brother. He wasn't constantly a room away, wasn't sneaking into his room in the middle of the night to talk about things they didn't want their parents to over here. He wasn't Ace. None of them were, and none of them ever would be.

All James truly wanted, from the bottom of his heart, was his mother. He wanted her to be the one knocking on his door, the one coaxing him out of his bed to actually do something. It was something she did for him as a kid, when he had a bad day or school, or got into a fight with his brother, a soft brush of her hand over his forehead, a special offering of a still warm chocolate chip cookie, fresh from the oven.

James missed moments like those.

***

James kept thinking about the night of the dinner with the Bradfords, thinking about Kalen's warm lips and his cold hands and his delicate smile and his breathless "I love you". He should have held onto him a little longer, ignored his brothers because his father was the real threat, should have taken his face in his hands and just looked at him, memorized. Who knew the next time he'd get to see his boyfriend.

Were they even boyfriend's anymore? They couldn't exactly talk about what to do, and how long would Kalen wait for him, a boy who was hundreds of miles away that he couldn't even talk to. James wasn't doubting the fact that Kalen loved him, he knew that, but loving him was about to get much harder, and Kalen was more than desirable. Now that he was in an entire different state than his family, he could do what he wanted, be with who he wanted. James was positive that people were going to be interested in the attractive new student with stunning eyes and a brain just as impressive.

What if the next time I see him he's dating someone else?"

There was a knock on his door— it was to the upbeat tune that Tyler often used to knock when he was in a good mood— and James sighed, opening his eyes to stare up at his dark ceiling. "I didn't call you, Tyler," he called, loud enough to be heard from the wood.

It was silent, and then his mother responded, voice soft. "Um... it's me. Can I come in please?"

Quickly, James sat up in bed, staring at his door with wide eyes. "Oh," he said to himself before calling out, "Yeah," to her.

She pushed the door open and blinked into the darkness at the same time that James cringed away from the brightness. Still, he instructed her to turn on the light to his room, figuring it would be nice for the two of them to actually see one another when they spoke.

A second after he said this the light clicked on and he closed his eyes until the glare stopped hurting his head. When he opened them, his mom was still hovering in the doorway, just looking at him. "Mom?" He asked, and she snapped out of whatever trance she was in and moved forward towards his bed.

"Sorry". She smiled sheepishly. "You just look a lot like your brother with your hair like that," she explained, gesturing at the mess on the top of his head. "He never did like brushing his hair". James laughed lightly and scooted over in his bed, giving her enough room to sit on the edge of his mattress next to him, like she used to long before. Her eyes widened slightly at his shift, and then her smile stretched bigger and she sat beside him, twisting her body to face him. "So".

"So," he said back, pulling at his covers with damp fingers nervously. "I thought you were Tyler. He knocks like that too".

"Ahh," She hummed, "that makes sense. That's been stuck in my head the past couple of days and I couldn't figure out from where". She smiled at him, and he tried his best to return it.

"Makes sense".

It was silent for a beat, and then his mother sighed. "So, Kalen's at a boarding school in Minnesota," she said matter of factly and James's eyebrows raised. He had neglected to talk to his parents about any of his current struggles, dodging questions in the kitchen every morning and ignoring them over dinner when he actually went, waiting for them to come up to his room and talk to him about it themselves.

"Who told you?" He asked, and she sighed.

"Tyler told me first, but Mike and Joe both mentioned it as well... you didn't tell me, James. Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask," he grumbled, pulling his knees into his chest and hugging them.

"I did though. I've asked you what was wrong every morning, even after I knew already, and you never said anything". She didn't really sound upset with him, just sad. It bothered James for some reason, and he shifted his eyes away.

"What I mean is that you didn't go out of your way to ask me," he explained, and she breathed out a long sigh. "How come you keep sending people to come coax me out of bed, but you haven't come up here once?"

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "This... this seemed like an Ace kind of problem to me". At the mention of his brother's name, James eyes shot back to his mother's face. "He was always the one to come cheer you up when you were particularly sad. It kind of stopped being my job, you know. He was the best at making you feel better, and eventually it got to the point that you'd have a bad day or you'd get picked on or even he would piss you off, and I'd go to your room to talk to you, and Ace was always there, already getting you to smile. I could never make you smile that easily".

"Mom," James breathed silently. She smiled sadly at him and pushed his tangled hair off his forehead.

"I forgot how to cheer you up, I think, and I thought that maybe... maybe it was something one of your friends was good at, but that has very clearly failed".

"No ones going to replace Ace," James reminded, and she nodded quickly, because she had to have understood that better than anyone.

"I know. I didn't think you had found someone to replace him, I just thought-" she cut off and smiled, "-I hoped that you had found someone who could make you smile like he did".

At this, James closed his eyes, because he had found someone who could make him smile like that. The only problem was that James had no possible way to contact him.

He opened his mother to tell her as much, but the words wouldn't come out. Her hand came to rest on his knee comfortingly. "I know, dear. I know". Her voice was soft and warm, and it reminded him of all those summer days he'd spent growing up, laying on the floor in Ace's room under the rays of sun that streamed through the window. She sounded like his childhood and safety and happiness and the sound called to him.

With a soft whine he was sure she would keep between the two of them, he untangled himself from his blanket and instead leaned against her. Sometimes, everything in life got a little too adult and he forgot that he was sixteen and didn't need to be ashamed about still needing his mother.

Her arms opened around him and she gently held him to her. "Why don't you tell me about everything that's gone wrong?" She suggested, and James found himself relaxing further, pressing his cheek into her shoulder and closing his eyes to focus on the comfort rather than his empty room. Finally, someone who wasn't going to just tell him that everything was going to be fine.

Finally someone who would listen.

He told her. He told her about how much he missed Kalen and how angry he was at Mr. Bradford for taking him away from him. He talked about how dull everything felt without Kalen around, and how crazy it drove him when people said everything was going to be okay, because it wasn't.

James told his mother things she knew then. He told her that sometimes your brother dies, and sometimes your boyfriend's father is a homophobic dick who sends his son off to boarding school, and somethings there's nothing you can do about it.

And then, because James was tired and Ace was dead and Kalen was gone and because he was so happy that his mother was still there, holding up his undoubtedly heavy torso with the same unwavering strength she had when he started ranting, James cried.

***

The next two days were better as James took his mother's saying to heart: the more you smile the better you'll feel.

He was already out of bed when Tyler came to pick him up, ate a full lunch both days, and went to get coffee with Tyler when their day ended. It was almost like things were before Kalen and him began dating— without getting to talk to the younger boy over lab— but James could still feel that something was different. He knew that Kalen was out there, somewhere, thinking about him James as much as James was thinking about him.

Still, he smiled through these types of thoughts, repeating that phrase though his head again, always in his mothers voice.

After coffee on Friday, Tyler came over to his house, not to sit at the end of his bed and try to talk him into getting up, but to sit on the couch and watch a movie. For the first time in two weeks, James was able to focus on something other than Kalen, able to push thoughts of the other boy back and focus on those who were trying to offer him support.

Him and Tyler talked about the type of things they would have before Kalen left. They talked about Tyler's lack of sleep and the past two visits he had at Pierce's apartment and the fact that he had to lie to his mother about where he was going during those times.

By the time Tyler left dinner was ready, and they ate as a family, talking about their days and how Tyler was— because his dad always asked— and eventually they discussed how things were back in Florida since his mother had reviewed a call from an old neighbor. Apparently the new residence of their old home were nice, but destructive, which made James laugh because him and Ace had been the exact same way when younger.

His mother was just about to being out the dessert– double fudge brownies to celebrate James actually being productive for two days in a row (though of course she didn't flat out say this)– when a knock on the door interrupted them.

They all shared a look before James sighed and pushed back his chair, getting to his feet. "It's probably Tyler," he guessed. "He must have left something here".

"Ask him if he wants to come in for brownies!" His mother yelled after him as he left the dining room, and he laughed a little, because even if Tyler wasn't invited, he would be in there house taking a brownie the second he smelled the sweetness in the air.

He unlocked the door and pulled it open, expecting to be met with a sheepish grin from Tyler, the one he always wore when he had to return after leaving something behind.

That wasn't the site that greeted him upon opening the door though.

No.

At first, his heart skipped at the sight of dark hair and bright golden eyes, but then it registered in his mind that the man on the other side of the screen door was a handful of inches taller than Kalen, and while Kalen would have been grinning at him, this man's face was perfectly blank. "Brad?" James inquired, looking over his shoulder toward the dining room. "Um..." he looked back. "What are you doing here?" The man just raised his eyebrows. "I mean, would you like to come in?"

"I would not," Brad Bradford answered. "My brother Joseph is waiting for me, so I'd like to make this brief. Would you care to step outside?"

"Uh, sure". James pushed open the screen door and stepped down onto the porch to join the other man, standing as far from him as possible incase Brad decided to kill him. It was a little reassuring to see Joe in one of the two cars parked by the street watching them. "What can I help you with?"

"You cannot help me. In fact, I am here to help you," he explained, and James eyebrows raised. "You see, I know exactly where my brother is. My father thinks that I'm exactly like him, and assumed that I would side with him in this situation, so he told me everything about Kalen. What he has failed to recognize is that I love my little brother and would do absolutely anything for him. Kalen... Kalen is a fantastic person, and he's going to grow up and be the exact opposite word my father and myself".

"Oh?" James's voice cracked, so he cleared it. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say that I'm going to help you be with my brother. I don't by any means love you, I actually think that he can do much much better than you. But he loves you, and wants you, and every time I've called him during the past two weeks he's only talked about how much he misses and loves you, and I don't want him to be miserable anymore".

"You're going to help me?" James inquired, and the question seemed to annoy Brad, because he was just looked at him deadpan. "How? I don't have a car, so even if you tell me where Kalen is, I can't go and see him, he doesn't have a phone so I can't contact him, and even if you gave me the number to his room or dorm or whatever, Michael told me that your father gets a log of who calls, so he would know and then might kill me".

"I solved this problem," Brad claimed, removing his hand from his jacket pocket and holding out the object in his hand out towards him. It was a car key.

"Um," James pressed his lips together and looked between the man and the key.

"Take it. It's for you".

"What?" James asked, still not taking the key. "What-"

"It's for that car over there," Brad explained, pointing to the vehicle parked behind the one Joe was in. "And before you refuse to accept it, it's an old car, the one I used to drive before I got the Porsche, and I already changed the registration so it's under your name".

"What? Why would you do that?" James demanded, holding his hands out. "That's too much".

"It's not for you," Brad snapped, pressing the keys into James's hand. "It's for Kalen, not you. I just need a way to get you to him, and this is the way that inconveniences me the least".

"Um". James finally took the keys, looking down at them like they were a foreign object. "Thank you. Where... where do I go?"

Brad handed him two more things. A piece of paper and a phone. "Type that into the GPS, and it'll get you there. The name of his dorm and his room number is on there as well. The cellphone is for him. Tell his it's for him to call you and our brothers with, without our father finding out about it. I will get the bills, so he doesn't have to worry about that".

"Alright," James agreed, accepting the two items. His heart was beating fast, the sound so loud in his ears that he wondered if Brad could hear it too.

"If my father does happen to find out about the phone, or about you visiting Kalen, under no circumstance can you tell him that I am the one who gave you this information. If you do that, I will kill you". The look in his eyes when he said it told James he was serious, so he nodded rapidly.

But even his fear of Brad Bradford couldn't keep him from smiling, hands curling around the objects in his hands, feeling, for the first time in two weeks, hope.