James was fully expecting to be awoken by his mother for school, so he was surprised to see Kalen leaning over him again, seeming less than pleased. With a groan from the way his sore muscles stretched in his back, and a rub at his eyes, James sat up. "Morning".

"Why are you on the couch again," Kalen demanded, at the same time pressing a shirt into his bare chest. It seemed to be far too early for this, and James tried to blink the sleep from his eyes before responding, taking the shirt from Kalen as he did so. "Did you sneak down here when I was sleeping-"

He was unable to interrupt him for a moment as he pulled the shirt on, but the second it was over his head, he cut in. "No," James protested before frowning, because Kalen gave him the least convinced look in the world. "I mean, not really. I did come down here earlier this morning when you were asleep, but I certainly wasn't sneaking. I couldn't be in my room when my mom woke up with you sleeping in there". It occurred to him then that there was a lack of sound coming from the kitchen, and he shifted his eyes in that direction. "Where is my mom anyways?"

"She left a note in the hall for me saying she had to go into work early to cover a shift for one of her sick co-workers. Told me to wake you so you didn't sleep through school," Kalen explained. "Also, there's cinnamon rolls on the counter".

"Ooo," James said happily, swinging his legs over the side of the couch and almost kicking Kalen. "I'll text Tyler and tell him to come a little early. I think he'd be mad at me if I didn't. He loves cinnamon rolls".

James went to the kitchen, typing a quick message to his best friend as he walked. Kalen trailed behind him. "Have you eaten yet?" James asked, and there was a soft huff.

"No. I came down stairs and got pissed seeing you on the couch so I woke you up right away," Kalen admitted, not mentioned that he had taken the time to grab a shirt for him to wear as well. James approached the stove where a tray of the delicious breakfast food was waiting and picked up the cinnamon roll with the most frosting, looking at it for a moment before turning and handing it to Kalen. They were still warm, indicating his mother hadn't been gone for long. "Thanks".

James chose one for himself then, being a little less particular. Neither of them moved to sit. Instead, they both leaned back against the counter and ate in silence until Kalen asked, "so why are we not allowed to sleep in the same room?"

James thought about how to answer the question. At this point, Kalen just had to know he was gay. If the boy hadn't noted James's lingering eyes, he most definitely had noticed how James nearly exploded with happiness everytime Kalen flirted with him. "Because... they're still a bit traumatized over the last time I shared a room with a boy who wasn't Tyler," James answered finally. The cinnamon roll was halfway to Kalen's mouth when he paused, his eyes widening in surprise.

"What happened last time?" He asked, his voice very small.

"What do you think happened?" James responded evenly, and Kalen's cheeks flushed pink.

"So you're sure you like boys then".

"Yeah," James confirmed with a shrug, playing it off as not a big deal, even though his heart was pounding in his chest. This conversation had the potential to go somewhere. "So do you". Kalen looked surprised then, his golden eyes growing even wider. "Unless you just staring at shirtless men is a purely educational thing".

This flustered Kalen, and he adverted his gaze down to his breakfast, finally taking a bite. James gave him his time, also beginning to eat. They stood in silence for a couple of minutes, the tension between them impossible to ignore. It was Kalen who spoke next. "Is it super obvious, then?"

James paused, cinnamon roll halfway to his mouth. "Is what super obvious?"

"Me," Kalen grumbled, and when James still clearly didn't understand, he huffed. "Liking men".

"Oh," James breathed, shaking his head. "No. Not really. I noticed you looking, but I wasn't sure what it meant since you're a Bradford". At the mention of his family, Kalen shifted uncomfortably. "I think I realized for sure when you sat by me at your father's dinner party". Kalen nodded, taking a bite of his breakfast and then swiping a thumb across his lower lip to gather some frosting that smeared there. With great interest, James watched the boy lick his thumb clean. "So what about me then? Did you noticce I was gay before I started getting blaitanly obvious?"

Kalen shrugged and James returned his half eaten cinnamon roll to the pan, since he was far more interested in the boy in front of him than the sweet. "I wasn't sure. I mean... that first day, when we ran into one another in the hall, you looked at me like–"

"I thought you were beautiful," James interrupted, and Kalen froze, eyes going wide. James moved forward without thinking, one of his hands going to the counter next to Kalen's left hip, and the other coming up to grip the other boys chin lightly, holding his face towards him. Kalen's breath came out in little huffs, and they were so close that James could feel them against his own lips. "Is this alright?"

For a moment, Kalen didn't respond, but then he nodded his head once, slowly. With a sigh, James's hand slid from Kalen's chin to instead cup his jaw. He looked so beautiful right then, eyes bright and black hair still mussed from sleep. All James could think about what telling Kalen how he felt.

He was going to do it.

"Kalen, I-" his voice failed him then, and he cut off abruptly, just staring at the boy in front of him, who seemed to be in a similar trance as he looked back at him.

"You?" Kalen prompted, his voice barley a whisper. James swallowed nervously, loud enough for both of them to hear, and Kalen's lips twitched into a smile.

"I think you're amazing, Kalen," he said after a brief pause, and surprise showed on the shorter boy's face.

"I..." now it was Kalen's turn to trail off, and James grinned, raising his hand to push Kalen's hair back off his forehead.

"You," James teased, and the other boy breathed a sweet laugh.

"You... you're... too". It wasn't very literate, but James understood what he was being told, and he leaned forward to press his forehead against Kalen's, his hand dropping from the boy's face to instead fall to his waist. For a moment, Kalen didn't react, but then James felt his hands come rest on his chest, fingers curling in the fabric of his shirt.

They just stood like this, gazed locked, until Kalen dragged his slightly down towards James's mouth, his teeth tugging at his own lower lip and fuck he really shouldn't kiss him but he just wanted to more than he ever wanted to do anything before in his life and Kalen was right there and James was pretty sure he wanted to kiss him too.

Still he didn't move, terrified that he was wrong, and Kalen would push him away. To prove his doubts wrong, the hands in his shirt tugged him forward more, and those lips whispered, "James".

"Hmm?"

"Are you going to-"

"Woah! Am I interrupting?" A voice interrupted and the two boys jerked away from one another. In the entryway of the kitchen leaned Tyler, his hand on his hip and a mischievous smile on his face. Immediately, James noted the paleness of his friends face, and the sleep weighing his eyelids. "Should I step outside and give you guys some privacy?"

"No!" Kalen said quickly, turing away so neither James nor Tyler could see his face, which was fine because it meant he couldn't see theirs as they exchanged a look.

Tyler's eyebrows were raised in question, and James simply shook his head before looking worriedly at Kalen. This in itself seemed to answer Tyler's silent question because he solved the problem in a few short sentences.

"No worries, man. I don't care enough about your sexuality to tell anyone about it. Besides, it's none of my business anyways". With that, Tyler crossed the kitchen to the stove and grabbed the largest cinnamon roll. After the first bite, Ty monaed and said, "I'm so fucking jealous of your dad," through a mouth full of food.

"You leave my mom alone," James demanded, picking up his cinnamon roll once more and taking a bite. His eyes slid over to Kalen then, and he was pleased to watch as the other boy turned back around to face them once more, his cheeks pink. James noted that Kalen had finished his first cinnamon roll, so he held another one out towards the boy.

"Thanks," Kalen grumbled, eyes flicking nervously up to his face.

"So Kalen," Tyler cut in loudly, already starting on his second cinnamon roll. "Are you ready to be the only Bradford at Edgewood?"

***

"So you guys just like... sit in here?" Kalen asked, and James turned in his seat to look at the boy who was sprawled out across the back seat. Catching the gaze, Kalen smiled. It was a little tense between the two of them since the almost kiss, but they were making it work.

"You comfortable?"

"I'm not used to having the entire back seat to myself," Kalen admitted. "I'm usually forced back here with Michael".

"Yes we just sit in here," Tyler answered, ignoring the slight shift in conversation. "It's far less crowded and we like hearing one another talk. It also means that there is no chance your brothers will talk to us, that is, of course, unless they come out here and surround the car". It sounded like Tyler was blaming Kalen for this, so James shot his friend a look. "What? They were out here to talk to us about Kalen".

"Ahh". There was the sound of the boy shifting on the seats, and then he was leaning between the two front seats to address them both. "Sorry about that. I didn't know they were going to do that. I would have tried to stop them if I had".

James's eyes lingered on the side of Kalen's face as he thought about what it would be like to actually kiss the other boy. If it was anything like the moments of anticipation, James was sure it would be exhilarating.

Still, he couldn't help but feel relieved that Tyler had interrupted them. He didn't know what kissing would mean for them. It wasn't like they could start dating and all of their problems would be solved. If anything, them kissing would only add to their problems.

"Right," Tyler said, and James quickly shifted his eyes from Kalen to his best friend, swallowing heavily upon the realization that he had most definitely been staring at the other boy for far to long to be considered normal. "Because you totally don't like the idea of James walking you to class".

"Oh right," James said softly, remembering this was part of his deal with Kalen's brothers. His eyes sifted to the front of the car, and he took note of the clock on the dashboard. "We should actually leave soon so I have time to do that".

"You realize that's not something you actually need to do, right?" Kalen inquired, and James looked at him with a frown. "It's not like I'm going to get lost. I've been going to school here longer than you have".

"So?" James inquired, eyebrows raising. "I don't think the point is to prevent you from getting lost".

"Oh well," Kalen said with a shoulder shrug, pulling his backpack on in the back seat and smiling at James. There was something off about it. "I'll be fine. No worries. See you guys at lunch". Before James could protest, or even gather his things to follow him, Kalen was gone, walking away from the car towards the school quickly. James looked after him with a frown.

"I totally just fucked everything up, didn't I?" James inquired, and Tyler sighed from beside him.

"I don't think so. I just think he's embarrassed at the moment," Ty assured. "I bet you two will be back to being gross by tomorrow morning".

***

James hadn't realized how much time he actually spent hidden away in his room until Kalen had taken it over. Things were still a little awkward between them, though spending all of lunch together had slightly eased the tension. Still, James didn't feel as if he could go into his room while the other boy was in there– studying, he had said– so he found himself on the back porch with his mother at a time when he would normally be in his room.

She seemed to notice this as well. "You're sure you're okay with Kalen being here?"

"What?" James had been looking out over their new backyard with interest, and had not been expecting her to speak. "Oh. Yeah. It's fine. I don't really mind, it's just weird not having a bedroom".

She hummed in understanding and then asked, "why don't you just use the extra room?"

James noted that she had referred to it as neither Ace's room, or the guest room, and wondered if she had done so on purpose. "Mom," James groaned.

"I know sweetie. I know it's hard, but you need to remember that we didn't put your brother's things in there so he could sleep there. That room is there for us, not him, and you should use it. It's stupid that you're sleeping on that god awful couch".

James breathed out a laugh, but he didn't really feel it. "It's just... it feels like his space, you know? I don't feel right using it before he gets the chance to".

"I know". Her voice was quiet, and James knew she was thinking the same thing he was. He'll never get the chance to. "How have you been feeling lately? It seems like we've all been better since we moved here, but I know the sadness hasn't completely gone away".

"I don't think it ever does, mom". James pressed a hand to his chest above his heart, where it ached. "It hurts. I keep imagining what it would be like if he had been able to move with us. What would he say if he got to eat dinner with us every night? What weird places would I be finding his books? What would it be like to have him, Tyler and I all together again? You know? So many what if's that are never going to happen".

"I know," She said softly, a sad smile on her face. "I do the same".

"It has been better though," James assured quickly. "Now when I think about him I find myself smiling rather than tearing up more often than not. I don't know if it's because of us moving, or because of time, but I'm glad we're here".

She reached across the center of their wicker couch and grabbed James's had for a second, squeezing it before releasing it again. "You smile more here, I think," she claimed, and James met her eyes. She was close to tears, her blue eyes sparkling with them, and it was a familiar sight, not only because he had seen his mother cry more in the last seven months than any child should see their mother cry in their life time, but because he had seen those same blue eyes in the mirror many times, as he wiped at his own cheeks and told himself to stop crying. "And you know what I always say". 

His mother didn't say it much anymore, but James knew exactly what she was talking about, and he said it along with her. "The more you smile, the better you'll feel". 

As she smiled warmly at him, he thought about how Kalen made him smile.

A/N Initially this was the first half of a SUPER LONG chapter, but way too many things went down, so I split it into two. Anyways, sorry about the kind of abrupt ending.