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Dear Hyun,

Hope your week was alright, and that the fam is good too.

Do you ou remember what I wrote to you about last week? Well, I've decided to actually do it. We leave next week W̶e̶n̶ Wednesday: 10th December. I'm really really nervous, honestly. Kinda wish you were here... Bella herself is super excited, but I know she herself will be nervous. She hardly knows a word in English!

I even wanted to invite Felix to come along too, just for the extra support, and considering we're both from there, but no. It's more of a family thing, you know? I don't want to drag him into that, especially as we're not as close as before because of everything... But I think he has a boyfriend, or something like that now, so that's good.

Bella and I will be back the day before Christmas, though. Just two weeks we'll spend down there, but I think she'd prefer to be around people she knows better for the special day, you know? I mean yeah, family is family. But I want her to really enjoy this Christmas, not just pretend to, you know?

So...........

Will you please visit for Christmas???

It'd make Bella so happy, Hyun. A̶n̶d̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶ I'm planning a surprise for her for when we get back. Felix is gonna decorate the apartment with a small tree and stuff for me, and I want you to be here too, please? You can sleep in here even if I'm not there, and then see the biggest smile on Bella's face when we walk in on the 24th.

That's all for now, Hyun. Continue to take care of yourself, yeah? Please please please consider my request.

Bella loves you,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶I̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶so do this for her ♡ I really wanna see you too. The past month has been too damn long with work and life and everything. Miss having you around :)

Reply soon.

Love,
CB.

---

Hello again CB :)

The week was okay. I got a small job aside from my dad's farm so I can make some actual money finally. My family is alright for the most part too. And I heard that my big (haughty) brother might be coming home for Christmas so I will GLADLY accept your request. I don't want this man rubbing his success in my prodigal face :")

Thank you for inviting me, Chan. And I hope that you have a safe trip tomorrow. I'll miss your letters for those two weeks, but at least I'll get to see you and Bella by the time you're back. I miss her more and more every day honestly.

Just remember to be humble when you get there, alright? Don't get riled up over anything! No matter their reaction, as long as they don't harm you and/or Bella. They have every right to be upset with you and not her, or to yell at you and just express their rage, because this is a really heavy bomb you're going to drop, Chan.

Make sure to show them that you see your wrong and you accept responsibility for your actions and decisions. And also try to prove in there that you are indeed a good dad and that Bella has a healthy support system, alright? As much as they can react any way that they wand, there should still be some respec maintained because you are still her father, okay?

So just keep a postive mindset when you go there. And try to make Belle feel as little tension as possible: you're already good at that, so I'm not scared for her.

Remind her that I love her very very very very much.

And I love you too :) Very much also.

See you in two weeks, Chan ♡

XOXO,
Hyunjin.

---

⇒ Thunderous International Airport
3:20pm

"Stay close, okay? Don't let go of my hand."

But what other choice did Bella even have? Surrounded by hundreds of intimidating foreigners, their feet busily surfing the unsanitary floors of that international airport. Bella anxiously clung onto her wolf plushie with one hand, the sweaty one securely held by her father's, and struggled to ignore the upset feeling that bothered her stomach since boarding the plane back home.

"We're going to get a taxi which should take us to the train station..." Chan squeezed the child's palm for some comfort, walking rapidly out of the frustratingly imposing building. Instinctively, his eyes darted in all directions as he sped, desperate to appreciate even the smallest fraction of the manmade attractions of his homeland that he had abandoned for so many years.

Taking the black duffle bag down from his shoulder with a groan of relief following, Chan fixed it into the trunk of one of the taxis from the line of parked ones outside, after greeting the friendly employee in English, indicating that he just needed a quick lift to the nearest train station.

"Daddy," Bella tugged on her father's shoulder, the taxi driver nosily glancing at the rearview mirror with peaked curiosity at her foreign tongue, "I feel sick since getting on the plane. And I'm hungry... And nervous because I don't understand what anybody is saying."

"Don't worry, pumpkin," Chan tried to console, rubbing Bella's shoulder and kissing the top of her head, with his eyes closed, aiming to wholesomely savor the affection in an attempt to calm his own nerves. "You'll feel better and eat something soon, hm? We'll be there before dark... You can take a nap when we get on the train."

"Okay..."

-

⇒ 0325 St.
6:30pm

The neighborhood hadn't changed much: hadn't changed at all. Well, apart from the smoothened potholes along the well-paved roads, almost everything appeared the same in the environment of Chan's childhood home.

Sunset was already approaching by the time they had arrived, and Chan smiled at the sight. He stood idly on the sidewalk in front of his old home's driveway for a few minutes, eyes closed and nostrils flared, sucking in the nostalgically earthly smell of Australia.

"This is where your daddy grew up," he swung Bella's arm back and forth, cooing at her squinted eyes; how she struggled to remain attentive in her sleepy state. "Here goes nothing."

With a deep, heavy breath, and unspoken instruction to his legs to begin steady steps forward, Chan chewed on the inside of his cheek anxiously, humming to himself.

And then he looked around briefly, admiring the observation that his parents maintained the home so well over those years. Even added in a small renovation here and there, and ensured that the pale orange paint dominating the outside was blemish-free all about.

"Ahem," he let go of Bella's hand to ring the doorbell, smiling softly when she quickly hugged his thigh with her free hand. "Hello?" He knocked, taking note of audible steps growing from the inside, "Mr. and Mrs. Bang?"

"Hello-- Holy shit. Holy shit-- Holy shit," one woman chanted, and then she gasped, cupping both hands over her mouth. Her hair was dark, similar to Chan's; lighter than black: brown. "Am I dreaming?" She began to tear up, stumbling backward, "M-mum... Dad!"

Chan grinned when the female turned on her heels and ran, disappearing beyond the hallway. So taking the still open door as a green light to enter, he guided Bella in after himself, setting the heavy duffle bag down before closing the door behind them.

"Hello?" He sang, soaking in the warmth of his old home. Trying not to cry as the lingering aroma of his father's infamous cigarettes tickled his nostrils, yet failed to overpower the scent of the appetizing seasonings grown into the walls of his mother's kitchen. "Anybody home?"

"God bless my eyesight," an older man exclaimed, startling Chan with his unexpected appearance behind; at the bottom of the short staircase. A bruised cane was held cautiously by one hand, the other pressed against the left side of his chest. "Chris? Christopher Bang? In my house?" He cried; sobbed like a child, behind his glasses.

"It's me, dad," Chan sighed, unable to hold back his own tears. He then opened his arms, firm and wide, to invite the trembling man for an embrace, and buried his face into the elder's neck when Mr. Bang did just that...

When Mr. Bang flung his cane somewhere to the side to hug his son like he hadn't seen him in forever. As though a weight of worry was lifted: fear that something terrible had crossed the path of his oldest seed in the foreign land.

And unthinkingly, but rightfully so, Chan's own arms tightened around his father, unimaginably so, glad that the old man was in no mental condition to complain. Because he missed him. Chan didn't realize, until then, just how much he absolutely needed the love and support of his own family.

Felt even more regret toward the past decisions, plagued by pride, that deprived him of that love. That affection. That irreproducible backbone.

However, those overwhelming sensations of what could have been, and what the present had to so wholeheartedly offer weren't solely responsible for Chan's tears, no. Not when he could witness the relief that his parents felt, seeing him and feeling him again.

Not when he could hear the muffled sobs of his mother near his ear when she hurried to join their embrace, followed by the young woman who had opened the door earlier; his sister. And then the, at least, eighteen-year-old boy who sped down the stairs from his room to get a glimpse of all the ruckus downstairs, to join them too.

His family had their hope fulfilled. Their nightmares erased. Their fears shuffled into nothing but gratefulness and ecstatic expressions on their faces. Their hearts filled and futures brightened with a refurbished bulb of communication with their loved one.

All of that, for his family. One family.

Whilst another would inevitably be troubled with the news of their only child's passing, the following day.

But Chan shook his head quickly, choosing to swallow the tormenting thoughts down, at least for the night, to enjoy the company of his family.

"I love you guys," they all pulled away, at last, faces drenched with tears and mucus. Looking down at the overly perplexed child by his side, Chan placed a hand on her head, smiling fondly. "You remember Bella?" He reintroduced, the four of them as attentive as could be, resisting their undying urges to smother the pretty girl with their love. "I know it's been so long."

"You've kept my granddaughter from me for over two years," Mrs. Bang smacked her son's shoulder playfully, reaching for the child's hand, but chuckling when Bella shied away. "No pictures, no calls, no nothing. She doesn't even know us! What went on up there? And where-" she paused, looking around with furrowed brows, "where's her mother?"

"This... is a long story," Chan bounced on his heels, looking around, "Is the guest room still available? Or my old room? I wanna let Bella take a nap while I catch up with you guys...?"

"Well... Lucas took over your room because he says it's bigger," Mr. Bang laughed, eyeing his younger son who wore a hue as pale red as his T-shirt over his cheeks, embarrassed. "But she can lay in our room and we'd set up the guest room later. That's alright?"

"Yeah," Chan nodded, "Thank you."

-

The warmth and openness that welcomed when Chan had arrived dimmed, greatly, as the family of five sat together in the living room. And perhaps that could be blamed on the delay in his words, providing room for assumptions that something had gone wrong.

Life-changing-ly, terribly wrong.

"Isabella... she passed away two years ago," Chan reluctantly admitted after prolonged minutes of awkward silence, sighing at the chain of gasps that followed after. "Even before that, we were having a pretty tough time... with her health and finance and stuff. So I kinda cut everyone off, and I shouldn't have. I just..."

"Didn't want to appear weak?" His sister, Hannah, worded for him, nodding empathetically when he agreed. "That's understandable," she sighed, looking down, "We're just sorry that you had to go through that alone... with Bella."

"But why didn't you tell us sometime after, at least?" Mrs. Bang inquired sincerely, fiddling with her husband's fingers anxiously, almost expecting the worst. "It's been two years..."

"Things only went down after that," Chan admitted. Then he took one more weighty exhale before letting out almost all of his past plights, speaking quickly, to get it over with. He went on about the merciless subjection to homelessness, to being shown such unfathomable compassion by a young stranger, but left out the part about Hwang Hyunjin.

Why did Chan choose to not mention his dear Hyunjin?

Hm...

Maybe because he'd allowed himself to arrive at a point where he could soberly consider the said man to be dear. To consider Hwang Hyunjin as his dear Hyunjin.

Scared of the possible reality...

"It's a lot, I know," he huffed, raking a hand through his hair. "And now I gotta find her parents tomorrow to break the news to them..."

"Wait, they don't know that she's dead?" Lucas asked in shock, eyebrows raised in disbelief. "Damn."

"Language!"

"Sorry, mom," he drowned a chuckle, "I'm just surprised, that's all. I don't know how you're going to break that news..."

"I don't know either, Luke," Chan shrugged exasperatedly, resting against the fluffed cushions. "I'm just gonna do my best, apologize, and be humble. It's not easy news... but at least they have a grandchild too, you know?"

"Mhm," the others hummed in unison.

"Let's not mope about tomorrow's troubles tonight, alright? Chris is home," Mr. Bang managed to sketch a smile on everyone's faces again, standing with the help of his walking stick; not that he was so old, but rather hampered by the consequences of his hard head to avoid smoking and alcohol. "Jess, prepare something nice for dinner, please. Hannah and Lucas, go clear up the guest room, or Lucas you go back to your old. And Chris, just relax. Take a shower, let loose," the man handed out the orders comedically, reaching for a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

"What are you going to do?" Mrs. Bang asked, laughing, "Ordering us around like some-"

"I'm going out for a smoke," the man coughed, laughing even louder when his wife snatched the thin drug from his trembling hand before it could meet his lips. "You're lucky the children are here."

"Mmhmm."

Chan brushed a stray tear from beneath his eye at the songs of joy running up from his stomach as fitting applause to his parents' drama. He missed that so much; missed them. Their impish tangles and abilities to effortlessly make visitors smile, let alone their children.

He missed that so damn much, and was more than certain that they felt the same.

So what of Isabella's family?

What exactly were they to feel?

-

⇒ 24 to 25 St.
1:00pm

They were to feel pain; grief. They were to battle the internal temptations opposing the impulse to forgive despite Chan's transparent remorse. They were to silence their tears and cries in order to maintain a harsh façade, wanting nothing more than to get that Bang Chan out of their faces and their grandchild into their arms for as long as possible.

But he was still Bella's father.

And therefore, some mature conversation was still mandated to flow.

"I'm so sorry," Chan sniffled into a rag in his hand, "I'm so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Lee. I regret everything... everything that I put your granddaughter through because of my shame and my pride. And I regret not telling you about Isabella... despite our relationship. I truly am sorry. And I know that you may not be able to forgive me right now... but please just know that I am sorry..."

"I think we just need some time, Christopher. Before anything... before we can say anything."

"I understand that," Chan stood up, still sniffling, hands by his side, "When should- when should I return? We're in the country for two weeks..."

"I don't mean that you have to go," the older man corrected, blowing his nose into a napkin, from the table around which they sat. "Elaine and I just need some time... with our grandchild."

"O-oh... Okay but... she doesn't speak Eng--"

"Where do you think Isabella learned Korean? Bring her inside," Mr. Lee instructed calmly, although Chan found the command subduing. And then he looked over at his wife when the young man stepped outside, glaring at her to only add fuel to the fire of the feud that they'd nurtured ever since the departure of their child. "Hope you're seeing the fruits of your foolishness," he muttered, chest heaving with a sigh. "At least we have a grandchild."

"I said I was sorry, Joseph," Elaine spoke up, at last, a heartbreaking quaver in her voice, eyes red, wrinkled face damp with tears fresh. "I have been, for all these years. I have been ever since Isabella had to run away because of my foolish parenting. But you haven't made life any easier! Now stop blaming me and let's be grateful that we have a grandchild--"

"Hello," Bella greeted in the softest and most adorable voice she could muster, waving at the older couple as she padded toward them. "You're my other grandparents?"

"Yes we are, darling," hummed Mr. Lee, pulling her to sit on his lap, "yes we are."

-

"I thought Izzie was an only child," Chan forced a chuckle, leaned against the firm, wooden rail of the Lees' veranda, and eyed the side profile of the woman beside him. His brow arched at the way she resembled his late wife so much; the only difference being her black hair, cut short, just beneath her ears.

"She is," the female laughed back, puffing out an addictive cloud of smoke soon after, glad that the child was no longer her responsibility, to be able to smoke freely. "I'm just a cousin. Came to live with them a few years after Bella left."

"Bella?"

"We called her Bella," she shrugged, "wasn't surprised that she'd name her kid that. You know, I really think she missed home more than you'd want to admit, but just chose to keep quiet."

"Hm," Chan hung his head low, guilty. "I'm- I don't even know what to say, really."

"You don't have to say anything," she shrugged, "just brace yourself for everything that we have to say, because nobody is happy, Chris. You might be hot and all, but what you did was... pretty ass."

"Uhm-"

"I'm into women, don't get me the wrong way, sir," she looked at Chan with narrowed eyes, offering him one of her valued cigarettes, and scoffing when he accepted, before handing him the lighter.

"What's your name?" Chan asked, shamelessly inhaling the tobacco. "And how old are you?"

"Hazel," Hazel sang, locking eyes with Chan for a few seconds, granting him an awakened opportunity to acknowledge her hazel eyes at the mention of her name; her diamond knobs highlighting the richness of her face. "And I'm twenty-five. Also, kindly keep the bit about me liking women to yourself. I don't- I don't even know why I told you that." Her voice cracked.

Recognizing the female's fear and feeling ever so horrible that Hazel had to live in that suffocating bubble because of her own family's expectations, Chan placed a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it.

"Hazel," he mumbled, breathing out a cloud, "I don't give a fuck, really." He laughed, satisfied when she did the same, their shoulders relaxed. "It sucks that they think the way they do... The least they can do is leave people alone... Now I'm sure that they'd hate me more if they knew more about me."

"Wait... you...?"

"I'm more of a personality than gender guy," Chan pursed his lips, pressing the lit end of his cigarette into the ashtray that Hazel had placed near them, staring off into the industrialized distance as he continued. "And right now... I don't know... There's this one- never mind."

"No, tell me," Hazel pushed, nudging his shoulder. "Don't feel guilty, Chris. She isn't coming back, and your hand can only do so much," she winked, and Chan scoffed in disbelief at her comment, chuckling after.

"I'm still scared to love again, Hazel. I'm scared of replacing Bella's mom with a man. I'm scared of-- of messing up because I hardly got time to properly grieve Izzie. And I'm scared of hurting him through it all," he sighed.

"Que sera sera, Chris," she exhaled a white puff through her mouth and nose, a serene smile lifting her rosy cheeks right after, "What will be, will be. No replacing has to happen. Bella should always remember and be in touch with who her mother is, which is why I'm sure ma and pa are filling her in with stories and pictures inside as we speak. But that doesn't have to stop you from loving again."

"Hm..."

"Take your time, grieve, find yourself again, and get to know this special person more and more. And then... let what has to be, be."

"You're so smart for what," Chan joked, looking at Hazel again. "It runs in the family-"

"Nope! It's just me," she chuckled, "Bella always had this thing saying, about fortuity. Always thought that almost everything happens by chance, but I don't believe that. Some things are just meant to be, Chris," she stated seriously, outing her cigarette, "I've been told that I think fatalistically, and I agree. Because that's just how life is, you know? Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to avoid something now, if it has to be, it's gonna happen. So don't fret, alright?"

"Hmph..."

"Hmph?"

"Thank you for your wise words, Hazel," Chan giggled, lips thinned to form a small smile.

Hazel grinned, poking at Chan's more prominent dimple before winking and heading for the front door, twisting the knob to open. "Anytime, crispy."

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Questions [Optional]
1. Thoughts on Chan's letter to Hyunjin? And Hyunjin's reply?

2. What do you think about Chan's parents' personalities? As well as his family's reaction in general?

3. Thoughts on Isabella's parents' personalities and reactions?

4. What do you think about Mr. Lee's words to his wife?

5. Thoughts on Hazel's character? As well as the things that she spoke to Chan about?

6. Thoughts on the chapter?