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⇒ Spread My Wings - Cemetery
4:30pm

A "mother" didn't always have to be a woman, right? Perhaps the label could be fit for a character? For an appropriate trend of interaction? Or mere resemblance, in peculiar cases? Bella preferred to live with that belief, for her own comfort. For her own coping mechanism, to get through the week without her dear uncle, after so many.

So many weeks of sharing her puzzled thoughts with him. Laughing with him. Appreciating his undeniably inexhaustible love for her. And simply seeing and clinging onto the countless aspects of his very mannerisms, that reminded her of her own mother.

Bella sighed as she leaned on her father's shoulder, gazing blankly forward at the gravestone before them, her wrists hung over her folded legs; fingers tickled by her white, unstained socks.

"My day was meh," she shrugged, taking a deep breath in, "Ms. Kim gave homework today-- a project. Says it's due-- uhm... It's due... I don't remember. I'll watch my book when we go home."

"Alright," Chan said, fiddling with the tips of his fingers, somber, "You know daddy will help you with it, hm? You don't need to worry." He paused and looked down at the child for a few seconds before wrapping one hand around her smaller frame, pressing a light kiss on top of her head in preparation for what he was about to introduce. "Have you thought about this Christmas holiday? We're-- we're better off now, so is there anything you want? In particular?"

"Mh-mh," Bella shook her head, so used to having her materialistic requests declined. So used to prioritizing her dad's empty pockets, and looking away from the lavish shelves of stores and supermarkets, if they could ever get near them in the first place. "I'm okay," she smiled, soft, kind of timid, "the plushie uncle Jinnie bought me is enough, daddy. But thank you."

"Come on, Belle," Chan nudged her shoulder, guilty, to some extent. Because he could sense it; could sense how fearful she was, to ask for a small present. Could feel the innocent apprehension lifting from her quickened heart. Yes, Bella had requested some candy that one time, but that night, she more so knew what was going on; was certain of the loose change in her father's pocket.

But it wasn't a habit. Wasn't a norm for Bella to ask for things.

"Don't be scared to ask for anything, sweetheart," Chan tried to assure, turning her head by the chin so that they could lock eyes, a small smile on his face, comforting her with his dimples. "Look," he breathed in, eyes closed for a second, "I know that I couldn't afford as much back then, even though you deserved everything you asked for... I- I know I had to sell most of your toys too, and you were very understanding about that... But things have changed, okay? Ask for anything, Belle... and once I can, you will get it."

"Okay," Bella hummed, pursing her curvy lips before a smug smile could begin formation, Chan giggling at her quick change in expression. "Can I... get a princess Bella costume? And you get a beast one so we can dress up on Christmas day?" Her wide eyes gleamed with the question, hands held up to her chest in a prayer-like position. "Please please pretty please?"

"Of course, princess Bella," Chan kissed her forehead, still laughing. "But with that, I have an idea too... Wanna hear it?"

"Tell me tell me!"

"What do you think about... taking a trip?"

"A trip...?"

"Uhhuh... to Australia... You know mummy and daddy are from there, right? So technically, you're from there too..."

"Oh," Bella shifted, taken aback and somewhat frozen from the serotonin rush at just the undetailed version of Chan's suggestion. "I'd like a trip... I've never been on a-- But won't it be too expensive?"

"Yeah but, it's okay. I don't have to budget for hotels or anything like that, only the flight... because..." he sang the last few words, looking away for a short while, hesitant, really hoping that Bella would continue to appreciate the idea. "We're-- we're going to be staying with family... I hope..."

"F-family?" Bella tilted her head sideways in surprise, her visual focus shared between her father's hopeful eyes, and the doleful carving on the stone above her mother's earthly home. "Like-- Like my grandparents? Your mum and dad and my mum's mum and dad? And aunties... and uncles and cousins just like my frien-- classmates?"

"Yes, pumpkin," if they want to see me, that is. Chan kissed her forehead, closing his eyes briefly with a deep sigh at the dispiriting thought. "I'm sure they have pictures of your mum too... and... I don't know-- videos, maybe... to hear her voice again? I'm sorry I couldn't save anything much to remember her by, Belle..."

"I'm excited," Bella squealed, struggling to hug the fullness of her father's torso, grinning into his chest. Completely unaware of the heavy tears forming in his eyes, and the adamant one that slid down, in opposition to Chan's desire. "I can't wait for Christmas! This is going to be the best Christmas ever ever ever!"

"I'd sure hope so, precious."

"But what about uncle Jinnie?" Bella pulled away, thankfully missing the sight of her father wiping his tear so feverishly, frightened.

"What about him?"

"I thought-- I thought he would come back before Christmas... or for Christmas," her shoulders slumped, and lips formed a firm pout, feeling let down. "Is he coming with us...?"

"Well, sweetheart... Just like us, Uncle Jinnie has gone to spend time with his own family," Chan worded delicately, fiddling with Bella's small fingers, "But you will see him again... one day, okay? Don't worry... Matter of a fact, he sent us a letter. I was gonna read it to you tonight before bed, but I have it in my bag right now... Wanna hear it?"

"Oh... of course! And can we write him one back? Please? I wanna send one myself, please?"

"No problem, love," Chan reached for the sealed envelope from his side bag, opening it carefully with Bella's inquisitive eyes glued adorably onto his actions. "Alright," he unfolded the paper, flattered at Hyunjin's efforts to deliver a hand-written letter.

"What does it say?" The child's eyes anxiously scanned the lines and lines of ink, relaxing when her father began to read.

D̶e̶a̶r̶ Hey, Bella,

How are you, princess? I hope you're enjoying school still? Making any new friends?
I miss you so so so so so so so so much, and I know you miss me a lot too. But don't worry, sweetheart. Uncle Jinnie will make sure to visit soon, okay? Continue to obey your dad, and be a good girl in general. I'd send you a small present in the near future ♡.

I love you, mwah!

Dear Chan,

I hope you're holding up fine, as usual. Hope you're taking at least some of my advice...? I know we didn't leave off on the best foot, but you know I want the best for you and Bella. A̶n̶d̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I̶ I don't mean any harm to your love life, Chan. Yes, I confessed... a̶n̶d̶ ̶y̶e̶s̶ ̶I̶ ̶m̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶ but I would never sabotage your love for my benefit, okay? Just think of what's best for Bella. I love her like my own too, you know. No matter how much time we're separated, I'm always there for her.

Take care of yourself, Chan. Write back to me when you can♡.

XOXO,
Uncle Jinnie, Hyunjin

Chan had paused, shortly, his reading after Bella's paragraph with dry eyes, and a full heart. But the poor child was left to wonder why on earth her father had gone silent, with pupils dark behind a thick layer of salty water, jaw clenched, and focus kept steadily on the remaining lines on that filled paper.

"Daddy?" She tugged on his shirt, wiping an escaped tear from his face, "Why are you crying? What else does it say? Did something happen to uncle Jinnie?"

"N-no," Chan sucked in a pained breath, startled at the affirmation that he was crying. And then he stood up quickly, dusting off his behind before helping Bella to her own feet. "It-- it's all good, love, don't worry," he faked a smile, taking up his bag, "Let's go home, yeah? Let's go home and write our reply letters before dinner..."

-

⇒ The View Apartments
8:30pm

"It was a shitty week."

"Mmmh..."

"A shitty, shitty, shitty week," he moaned again, face buried into one palm whilst the other held onto a half-empty can of beer; one amongst many others, for the evening. An itch within the roots of his blond hair soon called the hand from his face to his scalp, a scrunched expression directed to the male on the other side of the table. "Thanks for letting me come over tonight, Min."

"You've said that over a dozen times since coming here," Seungmin chuckled, his own can of the drink held loosely between his fingers, toes twitching, and tongue poking at the inside of his cheek periodically; nervous, "But you're yet to tell me what exactly happened, Lix. Is it that Changbin guy again? Or the man with the kid turned out to be an asshole...? I don't know what could make you so frustrated after graduating from university. You should be celebrating, Lix."

"Am I a bad person?"

"What? No, Felix! Where is this coming from? You're the sweetest, most selfless person I know," Seungmin leaned forward, resting his beer on the tabletop and moving one hand with his words, looking at Felix from his short distance.

Admiring him; his lustrous hair, with the suiting highlights that he'd added in some time during the week; pink. His gorgeous freckles, and that coarsely smooth voice that'd demand a layer of goosebumps to the holders of listening ears whenever he spoke.

"Then why do people always treat me like-- like shit? I'm this close to just giving up on men and becoming straight Seungmin," he joked despite the obvious frustration, raking a hand through his hair. "It's that Chan guy... if you're wondering. We had sex."

"Oh," Seungmin frowned, jealous. Upset that such a man that he never grew fond of despite all that he'd heard, had the audacity to make Felix feel so low on himself. "And he was an asshole to you?"

"I can't even-- I can't even blame him, you know? It's just, he could've spoken to me better," Felix took a generous gulp from his drink, shutting his eyes against the burning complaint from his throat, then standing up. He marched toward's Seungmin's open bedroom, the latter following behind. "I need to lay down."

"What exactly did he say?" Seungmin joined him on the bed, both laying horizontally; Felix on his back with arms splayed out and legs hanging off the edge, and Seungmin on his stomach, head turned sideways to pay attention to the other. "And what did you say?"

"He said something about not feeling like he had sex with me? And I mean, I know we were drunk, but that was a pretty shit thing to say. And he didn't care to stay the morning after either, or reply to any of my texts during the day," Felix sighed, turning to look at Seungmin with tears in his eyes. "Even though we didn't really share anything romantic, it hurts, Min. I can't keep pretending that these things don't get to me..."

"Lix..."

"Changbin was the first person I had sex with. He started off as the perfect-- not even perfect, but tolerable. He started off as the tolerable, likable boyfriend, slowly turning into more of a dick over time. And then I slept with that guy at the bar, and then Chan. I feel like a slut, to be honest-"

"Don't say that, Felix," Seungmin smacked Felix's arm lightly, a warning look wrapped into his expression. "You do what you want with your body, and don't feel ashamed for it. You get to-- to learn people, and you learn from your past experiences... Don't degrade yourself like that."

"I just-- it's hard, Min. None of my partners ever stay after sex to take care of me... or-- or treat me nice, you know? As if I don't deserve it, and it hurts," he coughed, chin quivering, "It makes me... feel like... I'm not good enough? I'm trying so hard, to be a good person..."

"Felix, you are a good person. A great person... the best person I know," Seungmin cupped his dear friend's cheek, thumb gently stroking the skin; wet with tears. "You deserve all the love in the world, Lix. And I hate how people treat you like that... even people you've been so good to. It-- it pisses me off, even. And I wish..." I wish you'd let me lov--

"Thanks, Min," Felix smiled some, palm meeting the back of the other's on his cheek, and holding it there so that he could more cozily rub his face into it. He closed his eyes with the gesture, only missing a song of audible purrs to perfectly mimic a kitten. "You're so sweet."

"Mhmm... tell me how I can make you feel better tonight, Lix..."

A kiss, maybe?

Seungmin shook his head. That wasn't the time.

Wasn't the time.

He'd kept himself together; kept his feelings and emotions and impulses together for so long, so far.

It was not the time.

"Cuddles and movies--"

"Can I kiss you?"

"What?"

"W-what?"

"Wait, you--"

"I'm sorry," Seungmin sat up suddenly, mouth slightly open, heart racing, palms sweating, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry-- Intrusive thoughts. I shouldn't have-- I'm sorry, Feli-"

"You can."

"W-what?"

"You can kiss me."

-

⇒ Entrance Apartments
9:30pm

"Ji, why are you crying already?" Minho chuckled lightly, brushing a thumb over his best friend's puffed cheek, and pulling his upper body down a bit, so that Jisung's head could find comfort in his chest. "We both knew that this conversation had to come, one way or another."

"I know," Jisung sniffled, sighing, "but I didn't want it-- I don't want to move... I like living with you... I said I could just look for another studio close by--"

"No, Jisung. You've been wanting to work there since you started school, and now you're getting the miraculous opportunity to do so, but you just have to live closer. That's life, Hannie. Nothing has to change between us, you know. We just won't live under the same roof, and that's fine."

"It's just all overwhelming," Jisung chuckled, wiping his face into his hoodie, "We're all really grown up now... Seeing you turn into a full-blown adult," Minho laughed, playfully slapping his arm, "And-- just looking back at all we went through. Your love life, even though it only included Lee Felix, despite you spending four years at that school," he rolled his eyes playfully, looking up to lock eyes with Minho, "Your internships, those nights when we'd be crying over assignments together... You finding yourself in your art... This isn't just about me moving out, Min... I'm leaving so much behind..."

"Now you want to make me start crying too," Minho looked away, a tight smile lifting the corners of his mouth, "Let's just make the next few weeks worth it, yeah? We'd go out, watch movies-- I dunno... Just spend as much time together as possible?"

"Mhm..."

Silence then surfaced between the two, heavy with thought. Jisung stared blankly at the carpet whilst he uncovered some barrels of fermented lines in his mind, deciding that it was the best time to serve them, considering his circumstances.

It'd been so long-- too long, keeping them inside. But mayhap it was just the right moment, over others in the past. So gulping, Jisung looked up at Minho again, eyes shining, almost sensing a magnet in the older's. As though Minho's trend of thought was leading in the same direction.

"There's something that... I've been wanting to talk to you about, Minho," Jisung started, a tremble in his voice, breaths heavy. "I've been wanting to bring it up for a while... but I never knew how," he sighed, allowing some relief to brush over him when Minho held his hand and squeezed it. As if communicating that he already knew, and doubtlessly felt the same. "I like you."

"I like you too, Ji."

"What? No- no, I mean I like, like you. Like, I'm in love with you, more than a friend... and I have been for years... And I have been wanting to tell you this for years now but I didn't know how and I didn't want to ruin our friendship, but now that I'm moving away I want to do it before it's too late and I completely understand if you don't feel--"

Oh.

No fantasy could have prepared Jisung for that.

No number of fake scenarios before his routined slumbers could have braced him from the warm, soft, wet, favorable impact of Minho's lips against his. He shivered, from the crook of his neck to his hip, a trail of goosebumps down his spine and beyond. And then Jisung's eyes closed from their widened state, allowing him to settle into the contact. Enabling him to move his lips in sync with Minho's and just, guide the elder through his first kiss.

"You talk too much when you're nervous," Minho chuckled mousily as he pulled away, a deep shade of pink tinting his cheeks, as well as Jisung's. Even more Jising's. "I love you too, Hannie, more than just a friend... And I was scared too... You know me. Thank you for confessing, because I don't even know if I'd have the guts to... And thank you for being my first kiss..."

"I-- I don't even know what to say..."

"Kiss me again."

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Questions [Optional]
1. Thoughts on the Chan and Bella scene?

2. What do you think about Chan's decision to take Bella on a trip to Australia? Good idea or not, and why?

3. Thoughts on Hyunjin's letter?

4. What do you think about Felix's and Seungmin's relationship? And Seungmin's feelings?

5. Thoughts on the Minsung scene? (Had to give them some closure lol)

6. Thoughts on the chapter?