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⇒ Miroh Apartments
9:35am

In contrast to Chan's worries, the sun shone so bright that morning, dazzling Chan's crusty eyes as he slid down from the bed. Naked. Cellphone in hand and heart racing when the smaller frame behind could be detected moving, by a dip in the mattress.

"Morning Channie," Felix's voice expectedly soothed near Chan's shoulder, stretching his arms with a subtle yawn, followed by a somewhat accomplished grin on his face: Chan had stayed for the night.

For the first time, in too damn long, Felix could awake with a contented conscience due to the fact that his sexual partner hadn't scurried off after their carnal endeavor.

"How'd you sleep?" He smacked his tongue, leaning forward to hug Chan from behind, and hopefully nuzzle his tired face into the elder's warm neck whilst at it. But no, Felix frowned, instead. The optimistic rise upholding his shoulders dropped, eyebrows furrowed, and heartbeats quickened.

"Is something wrong?" He mumbled, but Chan only stood abruptly after nudging the younger back from his frame. So mindlessly, with no regard to Felix's feelings, at that moment. "Don't you--" Felix swallowed a lump in his throat, reflexively bringing the blanket to his chest, feeling so exposed, all of a sudden, "don't you want to stay for breakfast--"

"This isn't," Chan paused, breaths distanced from his troublingly hasty movements; pulling on the pieces of clothing drunkenly discarded mere hours past, "this isn't anything-- anything to be-- this wasn't supposed to happen, Felix. I'm sorry," he pulled the shirt on, followed by the jacket, "I'm sorry for going so far with you, and I'm sure that you feel the same," the belt; buckled, "I'm so fucking sorry, Felix. But we'd talk again soon, alright? I really really really," the second sneaker; he didn't bother to tighten their laces, "have to go now."

"But, why?" Felix asked, stealing the chance to slide on his own pair of boxers and a loose T-shirt when Chan appeared too focussed on his steps toward the front door, as opposed to the nearly-attached blond pleading for some form of additional comfort behind.

Not that Felix wasn't used to it.

Not that he hadn't grown accustomed to being adored for sexual pleasure then packed aside for later use in his still young life but, he had some form of hope for Chan. It had just been one night, yes, but through his inebriated mind, he could have sworn to hearing Bang Chan say something along the lines of loving him.

And yes, it could have been an "in the moment" adhered-to impulse, right? Perhaps so...

Most likely so.

Felix sighed, padding his way behind Chan, and holding the latter's shoulder before he could unlock the doorknob and proceed with his hasty exit.

"Was I- was I bad?" Felix gulped, embarrassed, "I'm sorry--"

"No, Felix. I just really have to go... for Bella, remember?"

"Hm... alright..."

-

⇒ Blueprint Apartments
9:50am

"Dad of the year! Welcome home," a sarcastic tone rang against the thin walls of Chan's apartment, echoing the efforts of his forming headache. "I hope you enjoyed your night, at least?"

"Not now, Hyunjin," the elder retorted as he closed the door behind him, sliding his keys over the kitchen counter prior to fixing himself a glass of water. "Where's Bella?" He winced from a throb in his head, taking off his coat. "And sorry about your train..."

"Bella is still asleep," Hyunjin sighed, standing from his seat on the small couch, leaning a few feet before Chan, on one cupboard opposite. "How's Felix?"

"He's-" Chan sighed, jaw clenched momentarily, "What are you getting at, Hyunjin? Just- just say it. I'm not in the mood for your ring-arounds this morning."

Scoffing arrantly, Hyunjin folded both arms before his chest, finding and locking eyes with the older man before him, and refusing to blink for a long chain of seconds, with tongue pressed up against the inside of his cheek, before he could speak.

"Do you think that Felix can be the step-parent that Bella needs, Chan?"

Chan scoffed, louder than Hyunjin's earlier one, palms frustrated by the lined edges of the counter bracing them by Chan's side. "What is your problem?" He arched a brow, offended.

"I'm not desperate for you, in case you have the audacity to think that," Hyunjin glared, arms still folded, "I just need you to think, Chan. You can't deny that you had sex with Felix last night. And you, a man already in his thirties for god sake, cannot tell me that you don't know better than to just sleep around when you have a child. So it's even more obvious now that you have something with Felix," he sighed, "but have you thought about Bella? If he's good for her... as a parent?"

"I think about Bella in everything I do, Hyunjin--"

"Do you? Do you really? Because I think that you're a bit selfish sometimes, Chan," Hyunjin leaned off of the counter, hands dropped to his side, eyes stern. "Felix only graduated yesterday, Chan. Yesterday. And you're telling me that you just assume that that young man is ready for parenting? For raising a child that isn't even his, for that matter? You know that you can't just bring anyone into Bella's life, right?"

"Hyunjin-"

"No, listen. Listen to me, just this once. Whether you think you know it all or not, Chan," Hyunjin stepped closer to him, hands held before the upper section of his torso as he counseled, for emphasis. "Bella is six years old. Six. She isn't fourteen or fifteen. She isn't on the verge of adulthood, where you'd be able to take a chance and prioritize your love life because she's leaving for college soon or something! Bella is six. The child needs stability, Chan."

Chan sighed, listening, grudgingly. His lips stayed pursed in an arrogant fold forward, head held up pompously, and hands stuck in sweaty confinement within his jean pockets.

"And when you just-- when you just carelessly sleep with others like that, you're responsible for their feelings too, you know. You're not careful enough, considering your situation," Hyunjin looked down, biting his lip in skepticism toward his coming question.

Because perhaps it would be too much? Too triggering? Too direct? Or maybe all of the mentioned possibilities? Hyunjin pondered on it for a few seconds more before nodding to himself, agreeing with his impulse.

Because there could have been no other time. No better time, than then.

"Do-- do your wife's parents even know that their only child is dead, Chan?" Hyunjin gulped, a thin gloss layering his eyes already. "And do your parents? Do any of them even know about Bella?"

"You're crossing the line, Hwang," Chan dragged the top and bottom rows of his teeth together, taking a step closer to Hyunjin with his index finger pointed accusingly, eyes dark. Darker than Hyunjin had ever perceived. "You have no right--"

"They don't, do they? You really had so much pride that you couldn't reach out and tell those poor people that their own child fell sick and died--"

"Those fucking people didn't give a shit about Isabella," Chan raised his voice, Hyunjin frightened, suddenly worried that the innocent child would be awoken by their untimely dispute. "They didn't fucking care about her, and that's why we ran away. Every damn decision that I make is for my child," sprinkles of Chan's spit littered Hyunjin's face, obliging his eyes to close, "so don't you dare."

"You're so prideful, Chan," Hyunjin scoffed, a painfully sarcastic smile flashing his partially yellow teeth, small steps guiding him away from Chan; backwards. "Yeah, you swallowed it some, to survive on the street. But you've still got a toxic level of pride built up in that heart of yours," he pressed his own index finger forward at the left side of Chan's chest, looking him dead in the eye. Their faces just inches apart.

"You're one to talk," Chan spat back childishly, an awfully harsh and immature part of him that Hyunjin would have never thought to exist, on display. An attitude Chan himself would have never brought to the open if it weren't for an earthquake to refurbish the foundation of his past, for more reason to justify the condition of his present. "You're one to talk, Hwang-"

"Oh? But I can admit my wrong, though? I can admit that I was prideful, not wanting to search for a job until I got a proper haircut or some decent clothes. Embarrassed to search for jobs because of my low qualifications," he tilted his head sideways tauntingly, leaning back, "and I can say that I've grown from that. But can you, Chan? Think about all that could've been avoided if you just humbled yourself and contacted your relatives."

Hyunjin could sense just how aggravated Chan was, standing there, silent with a gaze stuck on his slimmer frame, rarely any blinks in between. He could almost feel the disturbing heat steaming from the elder's ears. Could almost break from the dozens of unspoken insults directed his way, clogging up in Chan's mind.

"Bella and I spoke a lot last night," he admitted, sighing, "And I didn't even push her... She just spoke. Just let all that she was feeling and thinking out... How her classmates always talk about their grandparents for the coming Christmas holiday," Hyunjin sighed again, looking down, "how she's almost forgotten what her mother looked like, Chan."

"W-what...?"

"Do you really think that those people would have abandoned you, knowing that you have their only child's child?" Hyunjin narrowed his eyes, hesitantly meeting Chan's gaze again. "Not even your own parents you could reach out to, Chan. And now here is your daughter, in the middle of an identity crisis at her young age..."

"Hm..."

"She doesn't know who she is, Chan. She only knows you, and whoever else you protectively allow into her life. Bella has no idea about her family, Chan," he breathed in heavily, looking away, "And she's in school now. Among hundreds of other kids who maybe have not gone through a tenth of her struggles, and you expect her to just... fit in?"

"I just-"

"Daddy?" Bella's voice interrupted, soft and groggy, her pigtails adorably frizzy on her head, one arm rubbing her eyes whilst the other held onto a special plushie so securely, as if it were the most valuable thing on her planet. "Good morning... good morning uncle Jinnie," she waddled toward them, hugging Hyunjin first.

Taken aback by the seemingly insignificant gesture, Chan looked at Hyunjin, then down at Bella when she came up to him, ruffling her hair. "Morning, princess," he sighed, lifting her up, "sorry I wasn't there last night..."

"It's okay," she kissed her father's cheek, Hyunjin already making his way toward the front door, trying his very best to keep his teary eyes anywhere but Chan's wandering ones, "Uncle Jinnie watched cartoons and read me my bedtime story."

"Mh," Chan hummed, sighing, again, when the door closed behind Hyunjin, setting Bella back on her feet. "Where'd you get this?" He pointed to her teddy, head cocked sideways, "It looks just like the one I gave you some time ago... but...?"

"Oh," Bella held the plushie behind her back, a mischievous blush tickling her cheeks. "I wasn't supposed to tell you," she giggled. "Uncle Jinnie took me on a walk last night when I was crying, to get me a wolf plushie like the one you gave me," she pouted, brushing some fluffy hair back from her forehead. "It's because I was missing you plenty and couldn't sleep."

"Oh, precious," Chan stooped down quickly, cupping the child's cheeks with tears in his eyes, growing in volume as he looked into Bella's. As Hyunjin's wise speeches resumed a haunting replay in his clouded head. As every damn thing that he wished to never make sense; to never align; to remain lost in the dark shadows of his bygones, began to concretize their way as pillars in his present.

"I'm sorry, and I won't let it happen again, okay?"

"Can Uncle Jinnie live with us forever, daddy?"

-

8:30pm

"So can I ask why you haven't replied to any of my texts or calls all day?"

"I just," Chan pushed his lips forward, shrugging, "I've been preparing for work tomorrow and this week, and Bella for school. I already wasn't with her last night."

"That's why you were in such a hurry to leave this morning too?" Felix nodded acerbically, looking away from Chan, where he leaned against the kitchen counter; apparently the favored spot for quarrels and all forms of overwhelming conversation.

"Felix, I--"

"What are we, Chan?"

"What?"

"We kissed, and we had sex. We can't just pretend that none of that happened, so what are we?" Felix rubbed his thumbs against his palms anxiously, his lower lip being abused by his teeth in anticipation of Chan's answer.

"Nothing," Chan breathed out bluntly, looking down. "We were drunk when we slept together, Felix... And if I have to be completely honest, I didn't-- I didn't even feel myself having sex with you."

Felix's heart dropped at the honest admission, wishing that Chan had the heart to at least lie a little. To at least nurture the romantic feelings that were forming, just a bit, even though they could not be reciprocated, for whatever reason.

"I must be honest, Felix. I have a child," Chan let his head fall backward, aimlessly focused on the bare ceiling, "and as much as you love Bella, you're young... and I've overdone it with mindlessly putting my desires before her needs... I don't expect you to sacrifice your prime to take care of a kid who isn't even yours, Felix..."

"Mhm..."

"And I assume that you've tried to avoid that thought, but you can't... and I can't. So I'm sorry if it seemed like I used you, Felix... but nothing can happen between us... At least not now."

"I understand," Felix too, sighed, gazing blankly at one point on the tiled floor, whilst silently wrapping up all of the props and actors taking part in the false fantasy that he had begun to direct with the older man; Bella only casted as the little sister.

The little sister.

"I really do," he forged a small smile, looking up at Chan, and shivering slightly when the elder too, met his eyes, a reassuring grin on his dimpled face. "And I'm sorry... I hope that nothing changes, at least not a lot. I'm still willing to be there for you... whenever you need..."

"Thank you, Felix--"

Startling the pair, the front door swung open, leaving the one responsible with an almost equally frightened face as he stepped in, shivering.

"H-hello, Felix," he waved softly, an awkward smile on his face, seeing the two so close together again, knowing what he knew, talking. "Chan," he eyed the eldest, calling him over. "S-sorry... I just wanted to say that... I bought a new ticket... and my train leaves tomorrow morning... so... yeah."

"Oh...?"

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[A/N]
Unedited
Had to write this entire chapter on my phone because my laptop is being a bitch. 🙂

Questions [Optional]
1. What do you think about Chan's way of leaving Felix in the morning?

2. Thoughts on Hyunjin's confrontation? Do you think he made sense? Or did too much?

3. What do you think about Bella and Hyunjin's relationship now?

4. Thoughts on the last question that Bella asked Chan? About Hyunjin living with them forever?

5. What do you think about Chan's words to Felix, and Felix's reaction?

6. Thoughts on the chapter?