[one shot]
[carlando bromance!!]
The drivers had a training day together in a swimming pool and it is being filmed for youtube, to show the world that the drivers get along well off-track as well. However, some drivers don't feel comfortable with this idea at all.

trigger warning: body dysmorphia

author's note: hi i literally wrote this chapter at 4am so i will edit out the mistakes i made with my now sleepy head. good night loves, peace out!

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Carlos looked around the dressing room, counting the heads of his fellow drivers. He counted 19, including him.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Who were they missing?"

They went swimming today as an exercise the FIA F1 had organized, also making a youtube video for it to let fans see that the drivers had a great off-track relationship as well. The main goal of the activity was to do these sort of days more often to create a bond between the drivers if this day went well. But the video was also a big publicity stunt, and Carlos knew. They would get a lot of views, only because they were in swimwear.

He wouldn't get bothered by people watching the video for that reason as he found it easy to shield himself from social media and comments they would get, but he knew some of the drivers wouldn't be able to do that either. Lando being one of them.

Lando.

Lando wasn't in the dressing room.

"Guys, anyone know where Lando is?" he asked, worry in his voice. He hadn't seen him enter the room, but he swore that his previous teammate was right behind him when they walked over here.

Everyone's head turned towards the Spaniard and then to look around to find the young driver, but everyone also found out that Lando was not here.

Carlos didn't hesitate and walked towards the door that led back to the pool area. "I am going to look for him." he said, right before he closed the door and walking to the pool they had been in before in a hurry.

The rest of the drivers were left speechless, not knowing where Lando was or why Carlos was so worried. They knew that the two were close, so it would probably be something in between them.

"He looked worried." Esteban hesitantly said, being the first one to speak up after Carlos had left the men silenced.

"Lando seemed a little off today, maybe it is about that?" Charles added, agreeing to Daniel's statement.

"They'll be alright. Carlos will talk him out of it." George added as well. He was the only one to know about Lando's feelings on the day, but he stayed silent about his knowledge. Maybe also because he hadn't noticed that his friend was actually this bothered.

The Spaniard had reached the hall where the swimming pools were and quickly spotted his friend at the other side of the pool, sitting on a bench with a towel draped over his shoulders, covering most of his body.

He walked over to his friend as fast as he possibly could on the poolside tiles without falling.

Finally, he reached Lando and he sat down next to him. He had drawn the Britt's attention who looked up at him but looked back down shortly after.

Lando didn't want Carlos to see how he felt, but Carlos had already seen the bloodshot and panicky eyes that were usually bright and blue-grey. A deep frown painted his face and he laid his arm over the still bare shoulders of Lando to give him some sort of comfort.

"What's up, Lando?" he asked, his voice low so he wouldn't frighten the guy beside him.

Lando took a deep breath before he spoke up and was praying that his voice wouldn't break and betray his emotional state from before. "It's nothing really. I, just needed some time to think." It was a half-lie. He could never lie to Carlos, so making it a half-truth made him feel better.

Carlos's frown only deepened as he didn't completely believe in Lando's words. He had known him for long enough to know that it was more deep than just having to think. Especially with them being in a swimming pool. It was a strange setting, really.

The Brit felt the eyes of Carlos burning so all he could really do was look up to meet his eyes, get over his emotions and confess the truth about why he stayed behind.

"I don't feel comfortable with today's activities. I wasn't looking forward to it from the beginning when they announced this day." he blurted out. There was no point in hiding his unspoken feelings to Carlos, as he would always get to know the truth somehow.

"And are you not comfortable with swimming or the filming thing?"

"The filming thing. I did enjoy the pool, I like to swim. It's just that I get very insecure about my body, you know?"

Lando's voice cracked a little again speaking about the reason of his previous breakdown, but held himself together for what it was worth.

Carlos nodded shortly as he understood where his discomfort was coming from. He then asked: "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I told George, but he sort of already knew, as this has been going on for many years now."

The younger man had started fidgeting with his fingers throughout their whole conversation, actually showing how bad his nerves were and Carlos succeeded to ignore it so far. But as his patience was coming to an end he laid one of his hands on top of the constantly moving ones, resulting in Lando looking up into the warm brown eyes again.

"Stop it." he mumbled with a grin, knowing that it was a habit of Lando's and that he was never aware of starting it. "I could have helped you. I would have asked if they couldn't film because it is going to be a thirst trap as you would call it."

Lando replied with a huff. "They wouldn't have listened. It is promotion. It's good for them and the sport. Besides, I do like the idea of us doing more things together to get to know each other better." he stated, giving Carlos a faint smile, but it was a genuine one.

"Yes but this concerns someone's mental health basically. They can't do that." Carlos stated, truly just by observing the state his friend was in he could see that he was not doing well.

Lando didn't really know what to say to that so he just stayed quiet. He didn't want to admit that he was not doing good to himself, let alone to others. Though it was so obvious.

Carlos sighed, he wanted to know what was the true reason behind this whole breakdown of the other guy, but he didn't really speak up about it. He wanted to be able to take care of Lando, even if he didn't ever want help. Carlos cared a lot for Lando and he would never stop doing so. "Can you explain to me what is truly going on in that brain of yours? I want to be able to help you, or at least for the next time. I still care about you even if we're not on the same team anymore."

"It's just, you all have great bodies. Muscled arms, sixpacks, not a single bit of chubbiness on your stomach. I start comparing myself to you and the others, which I know I shouldn't do, but I can't help it. And then the filming alongside it, the whole world will be able to see us bare chested and indeed make it some sort of thirst trap, but that's not what sits with me the most. What does is the fear of the world comparing me to you guys the same way as I do with myself."

Lando finally gave in. Surprisingly, he didn't immediately felt tears finding their way down the cheeks, but he felt a choking sort of feeling in his throat. It was going to be a dry sob if it was ever going to come up instead of sticking in his throat. It meant that his tears were all being used up.

He truly felt this way about himself. And even though he had good days where he would look into the mirror and see a handsome young man, most days he found himself comparing his body to others'. He knew it wasn't good to do so, but he couldn't stop himself. He knew that he had a trained body, but that was not what his brain made him see.

"Don't say that. You have a great body too. Of course some are going to be more muscular than the others. Maybe because they train more, but it is also just the build of someone's body. That doesn't mean you have a less trained body. And yes, there will always be people pointing out the smallest things, but they will never stop. We are going to have to focus on the people that like the video. Our most loyal supporters, but also the new fans. And if they see your body, I am sure they will become a fan." Carlos ranted out on Lando, only telling him the truth but it also being the way Carlos really viewed on this topic. He playfully slapped the Brit's, toned, stomach. Lando wasn't any less muscular than most of the drivers, but it was all in his head.

A soft laugh exited Lando's mouth and Carlos could see the sparkle in his eyes return. "That how I would like to see it. I prefer happy Lando much over sad Lando. You don't deserve it to feel down."

"Thank you Carlos, your words mean a lot." Lando meant what he said. If Carlos wouldn't have gone looking for him, he'd probably still sit here silently sobbing. But now he felt a little better again. Talking to Carlos was great and he trusted him, but there was something that bothered him though. "Don't you ever get insecure?"

"Of course I get insecure sometimes. I wasn't completely happy with today's idea as well. I don't agree with it being a publicity stunt, because it shows us in a really different way from the on-track us, and yes it makes me insecure about my personality sometimes. I feel like I am really different on and off track. I try not to let it get the best of me, but it does sometimes and that's completely fine. It's not fun and nice at that moment, but it is natural. People are just like that."

Lando nodded. He never realized that Carlos would be insecure about his personality. He only saw the good in the now Ferrari driver and never noticed a change in behavior when he was around him on or off track. Carlos just had this amazing personality that stood out all day and Lando didn't recognize the said change there would be.

But that's the thing with insecurities. It's all in your head most of the time, making it only for you to notice and think about it. Meanwhile the rest of the world wouldn't even think about the tiny thing you are so worried about.

"Come on, Muppet. We'll go to the dressing rooms." Carlos' sudden voice got Lando out of his thoughts and he saw that the other was already standing up, holding his hand out to pull him of the bench.

He was grateful to have Carlos in his life, he made a really good friend, and that was just what Lando needed, a good friend. With Carlos' arm wrapped Lando's shoulder, the two walked up to the dressing rooms for Lando to finally get changed back into his normal clothes, not having to think about his insecurities anymore for now.