Hallo hallo😊

Dieser Oneshot wurde von einer Freundin geschrieben, die ich etwas mit meiner Rennsportleidenschaft angsteckt habe. Die Idee ist in Zusammenarbeit mit zwei weiteren Freundinnen während unseres Urlaubs entstanden, die keinen Bezug zu Motorsport haben, außer meine ewig langen Vorträge darüber, denen sie eh nicht zuhören.

Meiner Freundin ist englisch lieber als deutsch, deshalb hier ein kleiner Sprachexkurs. Wir haben kurz überlegt, ob wir, oder besser gesagt ich, ihn auf deutsch übersetzten soll, aber ich habe mich dagegen entschieden, da der OS sonst zu viel von meinem Schreibstil angenommen hätte.

Es geht um Jüris Ausrutscher in Liams Stream, denn eventuell hat sie, nachdem ich das ganze Drama abends mitbekommen habe, so einige Nachrichten von mir bekommen und ich glaube wir haben zum ersten Mal alleine, für länger als 20 Sekunden um uns irgendwo zu finden telefoniert, weil ich einfach so verwirrt war.🙈

So, genug geredet, viel Spaß beim lesen🤍

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We always have been friends, even before we were teammates.
We were friends, even when he confessed to me, in the middle of the season.
We were friends, even when we changed teammates.
We were friends since forever.
And now it's hard to think that we are not anymore.

20.June 2022

We were both laying in my bed. His hair sprawled in between my fingers and him laughing at a dumb tiktok video he saw. I was watching him. I never thought in my whole life I will find anyone like him, a perfect partner. No, that term is wrong, a perfect soulmate. Since the beginning we clicked together and even held together no matter what. Maybe, I was starring too much at him or maybe, I did something wrong because he looked up at me and stared into my eyes. And I stared into his and for one moment the world stood still.

Now that I think about it I really wished it would've.

"You really have beautiful eyes, you know that?" it slipped away from my mouth. It came out like a whisper, because to be honest I was thinking outloud, but the look he gave me made it worth it.
"Really?" he says and I swear to god his eyes light up just like the stars in the sky. Like sapphires. What happened next isn't really worth mentioning. We just laid there enjoying the presence of eachother.

Only if the next days went on like this, if maybe the next day hadn't come, you still would have been here in my arms and I would have still stared into your eyes.

21.June 2022

However, the next day came. This damned day.
I don't really remember what happened that day or what went through my mind. Just some keywords.

I streamed. He hopped on the call. I tried not to be too happy about it. He then said the word. The word that changed our relationship. The messages. The hate. The world burning and myself as well. Me trying to reach out to Jüri, to save him. I know he is drowning. Drowning in the hate, in the madness. He didn't let me. Me trying again and again. Let me save you please. Again. Trrr trrr. Nothing and then a sound. A message.

"Liam, please I want to be alone for a while. I want to be by myself...it's better this way"

Heart broke. Emptiness surrounding me. I went to sleep, tired and let my world crumble with me.

22.June 2022

No response

23.June 2022

No response

24.June 2022

No response

I think of giving up and go to his home

My days went on just like this.

Today, 10.July 2022

No response. Nothing.
In the past few days the situation calmed down.
However, I wouldn't say that about my racing.
Silverstone was the worst. I couldn't concentrate enough and crashed with Theo. I didn't really cared that much about it, that was because my mind was still focused on Jüri.
Today went better. Still couldn't concentrate enough, but was still better.
My eyes wandered to the blond haired man, who once was so close to me in my arms. He is on the other side walking with Marcus towards the hightech truck.

We didn't break up, even though it feels like it. I went to his house countless times, but he just won't let me in. Into his heart.

"You look really bad." My teammate next to me remarks that fact. It's true. I am looking bad and tired and heart broken.
I wanted to respond to him when Jüris eyes locked with mine. He also had tired eyes and looked miserable. In that split moment the only thing going through my mind was "go over, hug him, bring hin back, save him". However, my feet didn't move at all and I stand still.

"Liam. Cmon we need to get inside"

I nod, but didn't turned around. Jüri also didn't move. We really are the same. We can't get our eyes off each other. But then he smiled at me. A weak smile. And then my legs gave out and ran ahed of me. I need him.
A hand grabed my arm. I look at Logan and at his hand holding me back from running to Jüri. He dragged me inside the Carlin truck with me trying to jerk off his hand. Once we were inside, he let go of my hand slowly and sat on the couch, signaling to seat beside him. I stand before him mad.

"What the fuck was that for?" I yelled at him

"Well I had to get you away from Jüri. I know it hurts, but if you would've run to him, the world would have exploded. Just think of what the fans would have said about it"

I look at him in disbelief. I have bigger problems than some fans. This is about Jüri as well and I damn know he needs me.

"Just think about it for a second, would ya? Right now what you both need is a break."

"It settled down"

Why am I getting so worked up over this?

"It hasn't and you know that too." He sighs "I know right now Jüri is the only one who goes through your mind, but you are being a little bit too overprotective. First of all we both know that if you have had run to him, not only your image would be bad but also the entire f2 imagine would have been upside down. They are already dealing with this and they don't need another driver getting tangled in this absurd story. Second of all, Jüri is a capable human being which has a own mind and can make his own decisions. Therefore if you want to help him, then respect his decision and give him space."

I look at him and try to find my voice.

"I never meant to"

My voice breaks. That is just great. I feel my tears running down my face. My voice betrays me, like the ability to talk and soon enough, Im just a crying mess in the middle of the room. It hurts. It hurts like hell.
Logan puts an arm around me and tries to console me.

"You have to let go" or
"You need to respect his decision", were the sentences he said to me while
I was bawling my eyes out. Why can't we just go back? To our days in my arms? I want to see him, feel him, everything.
But I knew he was right. I needed to accept the thought of Jüri wanting to do this alone. This is the only way I can support him. And maybe a break to sort my thoughts put, wouldn't hurt.

23.July 2022

Today was sprinting day and I came first. I listend to Logan's advice and it actually went well. I sorted my feelings out and realized that I needed to work on my trust in Jüri. I still text him everyday, but I tried to ignore him when we are out racing. It still hurts, but at least it isn't that bad.
Right now I am laying on the couch of my hotel room staring at basically nothing but hoping something will happen. To my surprise, it actually does. I hear a knock at my door. I jump out of my couch and ran to the door. What am I hoping for?
Marcus greets me with a smile, I however greet him with a pant.
"Liam, hi!"

I look at him realizing what is happening.

"Marcus, hey! What are you doing here?"

"Well, what can I do in front of your room other than wanting to talk you?"

"Oh right. Do you want to come in?"

"No worries. I just wanted to invite you to my birthday party next week in Hungary"

Right. His birthday is next week. Logan and I talked about it yesterday.

"Thanks, I will surely be there"

"That is good then. Well that was everything I wanted to tell you. I need to go tho, Jüri is waiting for me outside and I still have to go and invite Clem"

Jüri is with him, of course. He is his teammate alright. Does that mean, that he is coming aswell? That would be right.
I smile at Marcus and he runs off into the elevator with a big grin.
Then I have something or someone to look forward to.

29.July 2022

Marcus birthday. We are now in Hungary and today is the day I've been waiting ever since last week. I decided to overdress myself since tonight may be the first night Jüri might talk to me again. What can I say? I'm still a hopeless dreamer.
I look at myself in the mirror. Decided to go for a tie instead of a fly. Looks better and is the one Jüri gave me for our one year anniversary.
I don't mean to be that confident, but I look good and maybe, just maybe Jüri will look my way. Behind me I hear a whistle.

"Wow. You overdid yourself. You look really good, no homo tho" says Logan while laughing

I laugh with him and he is right. I am ready.

We both arrive at Marcus' hotel room with him greeting us happily.

„G'day pals and friends. Welcome to my not so asthetic as Liam party"

We all laugh together and went in.

„You guys, we said 18 o'clock not 20 o'clock" Marcus says with a grin while we take off our shoes at the entrance.

„As you can see, mister overdress over here, was very busy"

Marcus brings us to the living room where JM, Jehan, Clem and Felipe are talking with each other. Enzo, James and Jüri are on the other side drinking, probably because there wasn't much place on the couch.

„They finally arrived, guys!" announces Marcus our arrival.

With that all eyes land on me, especially Jüris. I don't remember the last time that I saw his eyes but I sure as hell know that I missed him. Logan drags me to the others and Enzo, James and Jüri also come to the couch.

The rest of the night went smoothly, drinking and having fun, talking and blabbing. The only thing that I remember, was Jüris eyes on me and mine on him. After a while I stand up to go to the bathroom.
While washing my hands I hear a faint knock on the bathroom door.

„Sorry, occupied"

„I know..." that voice. That sweet voice that I miss so much. I dry my hands faster than lightning and go outside. And now I'm standing in front of him with no words coming out of my mouth. What should I say? Cmon Liam we thought of this before. Just say anything.

„Well the bathroom is now unoccupied"

Unoccupied. Great, perfect. I am just sooo smooth. Jesus.

„Obviously since you were inside?" he laughs softly.

I laugh with him as well. I missed his smile. He looks down at my feet and the up at me.

„Aren't you going into the bathroom?"

„I actually wanted to talk to you" came out of him like a soft whisper. Talking.

„Sure what do you want to talk about?" I ask a little bit too eagerly. Don't let him know that you are that happy you see him. Don't let him-

„Can we talk about us? Liam, I am so so sorry for the past month. I tried to deal with my stuff alone, because I didn't wanted you to get in trouble, but.."

He looks me in the eyes his hand reaching for mine. My head spins and my heartbeating is through the roof.

„I missed you like hell. I just wanted to protect you like you always do for me. After weeks of hate and the worst weeks of my life, everything calmed down and for a moment I thought I can be normal again. My thought was of course to jump in your arms, but my family and team told me I should better wait a little. That it was too early and that I should be careful. I listened to them, because I still think they were right. I shouldn't even be here, because of the drama, but I thought a change of view might help me. However, today when I saw you"

His eyes turned watery and his voice breaks. He looks down at my feet still holding my hand.

"I just remembered how much I missed you and how much I need you in my life. Liam I..."

That was all I needed, so that I lose every self control I actually had before. The next thing I feel is my lips crashing into his and my hands cupping his face. This kiss should convey every feeling I had until now. I missed you, I want to be there for you, come back to me, I love you so much. And his response also makes it clear for me. I missed you too, I am afraid, I want to protect us, I love you more.
I put my arms on his waist deepening the kiss, him puting his arms on my shoulders. Its a small sweet kiss, that silenced everything around us. Even though I feel like having more. More of him. He breaks the kiss softly and rest his face on the nap of my shoulder.

„I love you, Liam"

„I love you more, Jüri"

„Then how about you show me"

He gets closer and I can feel his erection on my leg. So I wasn't the only one.

„At my place, darling?". Jüri nods and lets go of me slightly. I take him by his arm and dragged him after me. „But we can't just leave like that"

„Why not? They are drunk. They won't notice and if they do, then I am feeling bad and I need you. Which isn't that far off." he gives me a squeez. God damn why is my place so far away. We arrive at the livingroom where I go to Logan. How should I say Please don't come into my room I am fucking my now boyfriend and I want to be alone?

Logan looks at me and then at out intertwined fingers. Afterwards he smiles knowingly with a nod. Go on.

I smile at him and Jüri and me go outside to his car, leaving a drunk Marcus looking weird at Logan who just smiles.

We get into his car. Me driving, him besides me, like always. We drive through the city speeding at every corner.
Jüri smiles and puts an arm on my leg in order to calm me.

"What is up with you? Where is the rush?"

I exhale and stop at a red light.

"I just want to feel you. Again, as fast as possible. I missed you so much that I just am barely having control ober my actions"

He pats my leg and kisses my cheek.

"It's okay. I won't go anywhere anymore. And I am just as excited as you are so you don't need to hold back or anything"

"You know that if you tell me that, I..."

I couldn't end my sentence since the car behind us honks at me. Green light, I start the car and drive away. In less then two minutes we arrive at the hotel and we quickly move to the elevator. The elevator moves up exactly as my pulse. It's been some time since I did it with him and a while since I actually touched him. How should I do it?

"Liam?"

Jüri takes my hands and chuckles.

"What's up? You seem really stressed right now."

I exhale and pull him into a hug.

"I just want this night to be perfect and I want you to feel good, so I don't know which approach I should do and it's killing me."

Jüri laughs out-loud and the elevator chimes.

"What is with you? Acting like we haven't done it before. Just be yourself and let yourself lose."

Does he know what that means?

We both go into my hotel room. Jüri goes in and then me. I close gently the door, but when I turn back I am pined against the door by Jüri, kissing me. I kiss back and pull him closer. This kiss is more passionate and more needy than the one at Marcus' bathroom. We are kissing each other like grasping for air. My hands wander to the waist of the older one before me. He puts his hands in my hair pulling me closer to his soft lips. My heart cannot take this. It's hot, very hot in here. We both break for air.

"You are not the only one who cannot wait to touch the other one." says Jüri through his pants. "When I saw you in this beautiful outfit..." he lets his hands wander on my chest "... I just couldn't think of anything but touching and feeling you. I missed you!"

"Then I chose the right outfit."

Jüri scoffs and smiles at me while nodding. He looks at my suit.

"Now I wonder how you are underneath."

With that said I lean forward kissing him while spinning him. Now pinned to the door, I place one hand on the side of the door, the other trying to untie my tie. Jüris hands wander to my back, happily helping me get rid of the jacket. My tie is now loose, and suddenly I have an idea. An idea that I had for some nights while thinking of Jüri. He said i should let all lose, so I will probably let also myself lose. I pick both of his legs off the ground with ease breaking the kiss off.

"What are you doing" says Jüri into my ear seductively. He knows what he is doing for sure.

"Letting myself lose"

I carry him to my double bed and put him carefully on the bed. I look at Jüri whoes eyes are on my chest.

"How far can I go with you today?" I ask. Of course I need to ask, I don't want him to feel bad or anything.

Jüri just stands on his knees and kisses me. Between the kisses he says.

"All. The. Way"

Its lights out and away we go!

My lips crash again against the older one and I push him down into my bed. I kiss him down his perfect jawline all the way to his adams apple and up and down again, leaving hickeys here and there. With each new hickey, a new sound comes out of Jüris lips which turns me even more one. With his help I take his shirt, followed by his pants down. Now almost naked I look at him from above licking my lips. He looks so beautiful.

"Isn't it unfair? Why am I the only one without clothes on? I want to devour you with my eyes as well" Jüri says while trying to get up, but I push him down again.

"I think you are already doing it, darling. But for today, how about we take your sight power away?"

With that I take off my tie and look at him. He looks at me with his eyes glistening. So this turns him on. I put my tie around his eyes, binding it tightly. A small gasp escapes from his mouth and I kiss his forehead. It's time to play. I get down and kiss his bare chest.

"Today I am going to break you, I promise you"

His boner pokes again at my leg and I grin at myself. With one hand I rub his hard nippels with my mouth I am marking my territory on his chest. Jüri pants under my touch and trembles slightly. I get lower and lower arriving at the top of his boxer. I can feel his anticipation of what I going to happen, but I won't let him have it that easily. I go down to his thighs, kissing them, biting and then licking, while looking at him. He put an arm at his lips.
I lick his thigh one more time before speaking.

"What is it? Afraid of letting me hear your beautiful voice?" I laugh darkly and getting near to his ear whispering "Cmon love let me hear you and your wet moans"

He takes his arm away letting a little sigh. I go back down to his thighs but this time I take his boxers down with me. His dick stands tall before me and I swallow. I get closer to him and Jüri wimpers at my hit breath against his erection. I get my mouth close to the tip and lick it like ice cream. His whole body shivers and he lets out a breath. I keep doing it for a while, letting him adapt to this feeling. Afterwards I start taking him all in my mouth. From Jüri I get a moan together with his hands reaching for the ceiling. I start bopping my head up and down at a slow paste looking at him. Him blindfolded, moaning and drooling while his hands reach for air. His moans turns into whimpers and his hands find their ways to my hair.

"Liam...can't you go a little bit faster? I'm dying here."

I take his dick in my hands and get closer to his ear.

"Waiting brings the biggest pleasure."

I say while biting his earlobe which brings a moan out of his lips. I get down again and start bopping my head again, taking his whole dick inside. I get a little faster and faster by each time Jüris dissatisfied whimpers come out. Still it gets boring after a while. So maybe switch it up?

I lick his hard dick fast and this time also grazing with my teeth. Jüris back arches immediately taking in the pleasure. His hands grab my hair while his toes curl into the bed sheet.

"Liam, yes, Oh mu jumal there. Keep going, please"

So I do as he pleases. I went onwards without holding back, drowning in Jüris messy moans including estonian words and my name. I will guess he is enjoying himself.
I have the gut feeling that he is getting close, first of all because his moans get louder and second of all his dick got bigger, there fore I take my mouth out leaving him unfinished. Of course that made him confused and reaches out for the tie. I hold his hand.

"Darling, what do you think you are doing? We are not done." I say calmly and a little bit seductive. "Your arms are not really needed you know that?" I hum while I stroke his arm all the way to the shoulder and back, kissing it. "How about we try something new?" I unbuckle my belt and take it out. I grab Jüris hands together and tie them up with my belt at the bed frame. Jüri just stands there, toes curled and face flushed red as a tomato.

"Since when were you like this?" asks Jüri with a laugh at the end.

That is all I needed to know that he indeed wasn't taken aback by this Liam.

"I guess loving you made me like this. How would you describe this new me?"

"Very hot." he laughs again while kicking his feet "And more exciting than before."

I kiss him once more and then I start undressing, releasing my own erection outside. I get down into the bed positioning my dick at his entrance. With just the touch of it at his bare ass he hisses and moans again.

"Liam, yes please finally!"

"Finally what?"

"You know what I meant. Finally you do it."

"Do what?" I say darkly and laugh a little bit. "Jüri..." I touch his cheek bones all the way to the chin and then to his mouth putting my thumb inside it, Jüri taking it willingly. "You're a big boy, so use your words."

He gulps deeply and sucks on my thumb.

"You know." he starts stuttering. "Fucking me!"

With that I push myself in one go inside. Jüri's whole body does a curl up and breaks into a moan. I go a little slower again at the beginning until he felt alright. When I got his signal, which was "More, please Liam more!", I pushed myself harder into him.

"Liam, that is too much. I'm gonna..."

He couldn't finish his sentence because he comes already. White, hot and sticky cum shoots out of his dick and Jüri shivers while moaning, his legs wrapping up to my waist.

He huffs and I see that his drool is getting on his chest so I wipe it off. With that he relaxes clearly forgetting he has a dick inside of his ass. Well, he just need a little shake to reality. I trust my hips again into his entrance gaining a moan from him.

"Liam. I can't."

"What do you mean can't? We are not done yet, sweetheart. I didn't come."

I trust again into him harder and deeper. His dick stands tall and his moans are out again. This time mixed with my own. He just feels so good and I swear to god I can do this all night long. My desire for his body gets higher and higher with each thrust I give him. I reach out for the belt, which deals as handcuff's right now. With one movement I turn Jüri over on his knees bend infront of me. His arms over his head. I massage his ass while trusting into him, both of us moaning. I lean in front of me to kiss his back and to leave hickeys alone every time I am inside. Mine and his moans get louder and now even this position won't do it. I look around and found a new favorite spot.

I take the belt away and grab him by his hips holding him up.

"You can take away your fold if you want."

"Finally!"

With one hand he takes it off, only to reveal himself the mirror we are now infront of. Me penetrating him even deeper and him moaning, drooling and now even having teary eyes. Are his eyes beautiful like this. That makes me wanting to see it more and harder.
I push myself like crazy, looking in the mirror at our bodies connecting with each new trust. Jüri alreday grabbed me by the neck to pull me even closer. With each new trust I now receive a new scratch on my back caused by Jüri. Tears are already running down his face and I see that he also looks at ourselves and how hot we look in this moment. He won't forget this night, I'm sure of it.

I feel myself coming closer so I bite on Jüris shoulder.

"Jüri im gonna come. Im almost there"

"Let it all out. Im there too"

With a few more trusts, we both come together leaving moans around the hotel room.

******

Now washed up and the bedroom cleaned, we both lay in eachothers arms. I play with his hair while he has his eyes close.

"Tired?"

"Are you kidding? You didn't even stop after the mirror situation and had to do it three rounds all over again, hell yeah I am tired" he chuckles lightly and looks at me. "But never too tired to look at you."

I smile at him and kiss his forehead.
"But for real now, please don't leave me again like this. I missed you like hell and well I can't imagine myself again without you, here in my arms"

He snuggles closer taking my hand, playing with it.
"You won't have to. Because I now understand that this "here" is where I belong. In your arms. I'm so sorry I made you go through this"

Jüri gets closer and kisses me. Softly and innocently. Like a swift prayer and I respond to him.

Maybe there would be times and harden ships where we will maybe make bad decisions and that would maybe result in us taking breaks. But nevertheless we will always find our ways together again. This is my home, my safe place, my happyplace. No, that's wrong.

This is our home,

Our safe place,

Our happiness.

Everything starts with us.