R2

Your idiot

I wake up. I don't know why I wake up, or from what, all I know is that I wake up with the soft hum of the engine in my ears. I keep my eyes closed, not wanting to wake up yet. Unfortunately, my mind is already too awake to go back to sleep. I sigh and shift in my seat. The seatbelt is irritating my skin and I sigh again.

"Good morning. Slept well?" I am wondering about how strange it is how much Max changes into Kimi when he is driving a car when I finally open my eyes.

"Gosh, why is that light so intense!" I scream while rubbing my eyes to get rid of the afterglow. I hear Max chuckling lightly besides me and I can't help to smile too.

"It's called the sun," he says and I laugh out loud this time. When I am finally able to see some more, I glance around me curiously. Off course I have been much in Belgium, but I have never really been in the Netherlands before. I share this amazing discovery with my boyfriend and I got a sweet smile and even a split second of eye-contact in return. Yeah, driving Max is not my favorite Max, but it's always better than irritated Max. I can see all the fans confirming that like there's a Twitch chat present in my mind. Do I have to bother about there being a Twitch chat in my brain? After a vivid discussion with said chat, I conclude I don't have to.

"How long until we arrive?" I ask, trying to not sound too whiny, but I see on Max' face I fail horribly in doing so. Max looks on his watch, glares outside for a few seconds and says:

"It's twenty-five minutes from now on if we don't get lucky with the traffic lights at the end and twenty-three minutes and-" Max stops talking like he's waiting for something. I decide I'll just wait until he talks again, but it is a little bit awkward nonetheless. "- fifty-seven seconds from now if we get all three traffic lights to be green," Max finishes and I raise my eyebrows.

"How did- Why?" I ask, not bothering to actually finish my questions.

"I've ridden this road a billion times when I was younger, so eventually you know how long it is until we get home. Accidentally, you asked when we were close to one of my reference points, so I was sure it was that exact period of time," he explains. I'm impressed. It's a miracle Max still knows that kind of information. Inside my head, the Twitch chat starts to say it's probably Jos that had pushed the information inside Max' head instead of learning something about social life. Although I know deep inside me it's probably true, I decide to ignore the chat; today is not the day to start thinking negatively about Max's dad. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Max suddenly asks.

No, I'm not sure, but I see on Max' face he needs me saying yes or else he will just turn around and drive back towards the airport.

"Yeah, off course. What could go wrong?" I say jokingly, but my heart starts to pound a little bit quicker by the thought of what actually could go wrong. We actually have already talked about what could go wrong this morning in the plane, but I decide to ignore that part of my memory.

"Nothing. Don't worry, Lando, nothing will go wrong," Max whispers. I should be feeling relieved by now right? But if so, why is my heart still going crazy inside my throat?

☲

We arrive at a modern house exactly twenty-three minutes and fifty-seven seconds later. The gravel crunches when Max steers the car over the driveway. I can't help but stare openmouthed out of the windows. The big, white house towers above me and I have to bend my neck in an almost comfortable angle to look through the wide windows into the living room. I already see Jos pacing back and forth, a phone pressed against his ear. He is wildly moving with his free hand as to support what he is saying, albeit without real effect. My heart is pounding so quickly inside my heart, the whole world is shaking. A few seconds later I realize the world is really shaking, cause the whole car is shaking, not only me! I look at Max as to ask what the hell is happening, but suddenly, the ground stops shaking like nothing had happened. We stay silent for a while, both with widen eyes. Only the sight of an almost furiously pacing Jos snaps my attention back to what is really important now.

"Shall we wait until his phone call is over?" I whisper, anxious that Jos would somehow hear me if I talk louder.

"He has already seen us, so it's no use waiting here," Max whispers back. It frightens me more that Max whispers than my own paranoia reasons for doing so, but I take a deep breath and open the car door. Max has already walked towards the stairs, which lead towards the front door and he is waiting on me there. The chat in my head wishes me luck and I see even a few emojis with crossed eyes flowing by, but I ignore them and walk towards Max with my head held high. Max flashes me an assuring smile when we climb the stairs. When we arrive at the door, Max presses his ring finger against the doorbell and a shrill ringing sounds at the other end of the door.

"Why did you press you ring finger against the doorbell and not your index finger?" I ask, too curious to keep my mouth shut. Max glances at me in confusion, but before I can ask further, the door swings open and reveals a still calling Jos. He gestures Max to come in, but doesn't give me a look at all. In fact, he almost slams the door shut before my face after Max had entered the house. Fortunately, Max can catch the door just in time and I quickly step inside, feeling like I am some kind of intruder. Jos has already disappeared inside the living room, so Max and I are standing alone in the cold hallway. Or at least I have goosebumps and shivers are running down my spine, so the hallway has to be cold, right? Max pulls me in a sideways hug and presses a kiss on top of my head.

"It will be fine," he says, but I can feel his body trembling against mine. I grab his hand and give him an assuring squeeze. With fingers entangled, we walk inside the living room. Jos had apparently moved towards the adjacent room, because I can hear his pacing at the other side of the wall. Max and I walk towards the white, leather sofa and sit down. I try to relax a bit, but the sofa is too hard to do so. It also doesn't help Max is sitting like he has a stick plastered against his back. A few minutes we wait, while the dreadful silence makes the air almost too heavy to breath in. Until the door swings open and Jos walks towards us, his face contorted in an angry frown. I can feel Max stiffening besides me and he sits even straighter upright that he was doing before. Before my heart can bump too crazy, a wide grin spreads across Jos' face and Max relaxes a bit besides me.

"Hallo Max! Wat leuk dat je even langskomt, ik had je niet verwacht vandaag. Daarom was ik ook nog in gesprek net, helaas kan die kerel zijn mond niet houden, dus moesten jullie hier even wachten. Waarom heb je niet wat te drinken gepakt? Je weet waar het staat toch?" I watch Max' dad while a wave of panic rushes through my body. I have absolutely no clue as to what he is saying and start to hyperventilate. What if he had just said he doesn't want me in his house, in his family? What if he had just forbidden his son to go out with me, to be my boyfriend? I get a little bit reassured by my chat, which is telling me Jos wasn't talking angrily or mad, but I can only really breathe a sigh of relief when Max flashes me a gentle smile. If Max smiles, it couldn't be anything bad that Jos had said, right?

"Dad, can you please talk English today, Lando doesn't speak Dutch," Max says and I try to smile innocently towards the man we both fear. Off course I don't succeed, but Jos apparently hasn't seen it, because he hasn't given me one look since I've come into the house at all.

"Sorry, wie?" Jos asks teasingly, or at least I think he asks it teasingly, cause the smile he gives Max is as fake as hell. I think I know what he asked, but it sounds so ridiculous I can't be sure. He surely knows who I am, right? Max' face doesn't tell me more, so I just keep sitting here, on the white sofa, waiting for someone to say something.

"Lando, my boyfriend," says Max after he swallowed a few times. Jos chuckles. Wait, what? I am too confused to be scared anymore. Max and I had spoken this through, we have thought about all the things that could happen, but this was new. Max looks at me and all the fear and panic slams back into my body, as if someone had pulled them away like a rubber band and has let go of it. Max' eyes are big and his whole face screams fear. He seems to try to sign to me I have to go away, run away as far as I can from his father and his creepy chuckle.

"No, no, no-" Jos' voice is soft and someone might get tricked into thinking unctuous. I prick my ears by hearing finally some English coming from Max' dad. "My son has no boyfriend." After that a lot happens and it happens too fast for my eyes (and don't even get started about my brain) to comprehend. All I know is that a couple of seconds after Jos has officially become a homophobic dick, I am lying before the sofa on the little table and Max is trying to wrestle himself out of Jos' grab. There is no sound, no epic music building up towards this moment like in a video game or epic movie. Maybe that's why I am so surprised by the sudden clasp of Jos' hand slamming against Max' cheeks. What frightens me the most however, is that Max doesn't seems as surprised as me. He just tries to blink the tears out of his eyes and snatch his arm out of the iron grip of his father. No yell or snarl coming from the, otherwise so sharp, Max Verstappen. At that moment, while Max eyes are searching for mine, I understand.

"Oh god, no no," I whisper and for once, Jos eyes trail away from his son and find me.

"Yes, Lando. This is what happens if you make my boy think he is gay!" Jos spits the 'gay' out like it's a filthy word and I can see the saliva drops hit the tiled floor.

"Lando, please go away. I don't want you to see this," Max says and I see how an evil grin spreads across Jos' face by hearing his defeated son pled his boyfriend to go away. How much I want to sprint away from this dreadful situation and never return ever to this house, I can't leave Max like that. A little inelegant because of my wobbly legs, I get up and walks towards father and son. I grab Max free hand and even dare to watch Jos in the eyes.

"If you want to get Max, you first have to get past me," I say, surprised by my stern voice. It even seems to have impressed Jos, cause the evil grin disappears and a defeated furrow has taken over its place. He releases Max' arm and the latter jerks it away from his father, not wanting to get any limb close to this man again.

"I am so sorry Lando, welcome to the family," Jos says and he offers his hand, as if I have to shake it and everything is fine again. I squint my eyes suspiciously, but can't do anything else than offer my hand as well. While my hand is on its way, Max seems to wake up from some kind of trance, because his eyes widen in shock.

"No, Lando, don't-" Max screams, but its too late. My hand gets jerked away from my body while Jos closes his other hand around our entangled ones. I feel my fingers getting separated and before I can do anything to prevent him from doing so, an excruciating pain shoots through my fingers. I can feel some bones getting scratched against one another and scream, but more from surprise, cause the adrenaline alleviates most of the pain. Jos let's go of my fingers and I jerk them back. I try to inspect my fingers, but the trembling of my hands and the sudden water in my eyes make things a lot more difficult. My surroundings disappear. All I can see, or can sort of see, since my eyes are starting to get really wet, are my fingers, which are now starting to hurt really badly. My feet are moving and the air changes so I assume we are outside. I let Max guide towards what I think will be the car, since my surroundings are still gone. I feel something against my back, so I suppose we are inside the car now. My breath slowly returns to a somewhat normal pace while I sink into a deep black goo.

☲

I wake up, I don't know why I wake up, or from what. All I know is- wait a minute! I inhale from shock a whole bunch of air and straighten so quickly the seatbelt tightens around my chest and prevents me from moving further. We aren't driving, but the motor is still on, so I suppose we just arrived where ever we are right now. I want to sweep the sweat of my forehead, but when I try to move my fingers, a sting of pain runs up my arm. A startled sob escapes my throat. I feel someone pushing me back into the seat and I start to wriggle. No, no, no. I can almost hear Jos chuckle and start to hyperventilate again. The chat in my head saves the day, since everyone is explaining what had happened. Apparently, Max had driven us somewhere and was now trying to make me calm again, after he had dragged me out of the house and into the car. I open my eyes, wondering why I hadn't done that earlier. The calm, blue eyes of my boyfriend are doing the trick and I relax fully, although my fingers still hurt.

"What just happened?" Max tries to smile, but his face decides it becomes an apologetic grin.

"I am so sorry, Lando. It is a sort of thing from him; he does it all the time. I should have warned you."

"That's all sweet and all," I smile, " but I still don't know what happened. Are my fingers ok? Cause they are hurting like crazy right now." I feel Max' index and middle finger twitch shortly, like they remember the pain I am feeling right now.

"He has done it to you before, don't he?" I whisper while tears are starting to fill my eyes again. Max nods ever so slightly and that's all I needed to know. I pull him in a hug, careful to not move my index and middle finger of my right hand, which I have now identified as the cause of the pain. Our bodies reassure each other and for a moment we just sit there, in the car.

"You'll be ok. It hurts for a few days, but after that it's fine. No lasting damage. No, that would be quite clumsy for something you may need to do a second time, and a third and a fourth," Although Max is whispering the last bit, I still hear it and I lay my hand on his leg, drawing circles with my thumb. Max sighs and lays his head upon mine, while I snuggle my head further on his shoulder, breathing his manly scent. "I've called my mum," Max says and I hum in response to let him know I am listening.

"She is waiting for us at home, her home."

"Does she want me?" I ask. I feel Max nodding and smile. At least half of Max' parents does want me, and the other half erm, we just ignore. Max had said before Jos can't do anything outside his own house, so I feel somewhat safe. I chuckle while thinking what a moron we were by going to Jos' house.

"What?" Max asks and I can hear the smile has returned on his pretty face as well.

"I was thinking what kind of idiots we were by going towards Jos' house," I laugh and Max chuckles too.

"Ho, ho, ho, you're the idiot here, I said we better shouldn't go!" Max fires back, albeit without true fire in his voice. I lift my head from his shoulder and conjure up my most boyish grin.

"I might be an idiot, but at least I'm your idiot!" Max smiles while sparks are dancing in his blue eyes. He cups my head and presses a kiss on my lips.

"And nobody is going to us otherwise," he whispers.

"Nobody."