I set the baby down, and we examined the chalk outline together. Me and Jason, not the baby girl. She was on her little feet and tugging on my pants with those tiny hands of hers. She was also pouting, and I believed that she was doing all this because she wanted my attention.

"Hmm. The outline seems to be that of an older man," Jason said. "What do you think, Brandon?"

I was unable to make a statement because the infant was distracting me. I bent down to her level and gently took her hands.

"What do you want, sweetie?"

"Me want...attention!"

"Says every person ever," my friend added.

"What is your name? Do you have one?"

"Ta...mara..."

"Tamara? Such a beautiful name."

My best friend playfully slapped my shoulder. "Watch it, Brandon. She is way too young for you."

I rolled my eyes, smiling, and brushed the tiny hairs that were on Tamara's head. "Tamara, have you seen a girl around my age with blond hair?"

"My gosh, Brandon. What makes you think that she will understand that?"

"Yes!" Tamara said, clapping her hands.

My eyes widened, and I gasped. "Good, good. Where is she? Do you know?"

She crossed her precious arms and started pouting again.

"What was it something that I said, Tamara?"

"Me no tell!"

"What? Why not?"

"Me will tell you...if you take me to animals."

"Ah. I see. You want to see some animals."

"Yeah, yeah!" She pointed a finger at the animal pen. "Animals!"

Jason and I looked at each other. Jason massaged the back of his neck.

"This is an awkward situation," he said. "Will you tell her? Or should I?"

"I will tell her," I quickly responded. "Tamara, you cannot see the animals."

As I expected, the infant did not like that news and teared up.

"Why?"

Oh my gosh! It was terrible to see her sad. She was in tears and had on the biggest puppy eyes.

"Well, Tamara. For reasons beyond your - and our - understanding, no animals are in the pen. I am sorry."

"N-no cows?"

"Nope."

"No sheep?"

"I am afraid not. There are no animals. None."

"And it is a good thing that there are not any," Jason cheered us up. "Could you imagine if there were? In an old and abandoned place?"

Tamara uncrossed her arms and clenched her little hands into little fists. Her puppy eyes vanished, and she became mad.

"Me want to see Piggy!"

"I am sorry, Tamara," I apologized again. "Life is filled with disappointments." I stood back up. "This is just one of those times."

"No!" She kicked with her chubby legs. "Me want Piggy! Me want Piggy!"

"Uh, how about a stuffed pig?"

She stopped with her tantrum and stared at me - before bursting out crying. "Wah!"

I became scared that the kidnappers would hear her sobs and tried to come up with an effective way to get her to be calm.

But unlike me, Jason had run out of patience. He pushed me aside, not too hard, and scooped her up. He turned her over so that her back was facing him.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"What else? Slap the kid's butt."

"No, no, no. There has to be another way."

He ignored me and raised his hand high.

"Jason! Do not!"

Before he could get the chance, a big pig wearing a black leash ran up to us and into Jason. My friend cried out and fell on his bottom as the baby slipped out of his grasp.

"Goo!" Tamara flew in the air.

"Tamara!" I was going to catch her, but the pink pig had other plans.

"Oink, oink!" He lifted his back hooves and kicked me in the stomach. I grunted and held my stomach, but managed to keep my balance.

The pig got under the infant, and Tamara landed on top of the animal's soft skin. Safe and sound.

Tamara was delighted that her pig was here. She rested on her small belly and hugged her hero. "Piggy."

The pig - or Piggy - snorted and backed away from me and Jason. It apparently thought that we were the enemies, and who could blame it? My best friend was about to slap the poor, defenseless baby.

"You take that narration back, Brandon!" Jason ordered as he rose back up. "People, especially parents, slap babies all the time. Plus, she was throwing a tantrum. So do not call her a poor and defenseless baby!"

"But still," I replied. I gave my stomach a good massage and looked at Tamara and Piggy. "Is this your pig?"

"Yes!"

"I apologize that my friend and I did not believe you about Piggy. We had no idea that Piggy—"

Jason cut me off. "Was alive."

"...and here," I finished. "Anyway, you must like him because he is pink."

"Yes," Tamara said. "And...my friend."

"Awe. You two are so cute together."

Piggy growled, but Tamara said, "They no hurt me, Piggy. New friends."

That got the pig to stop growling at us, and he sniffed the earthly grounds.

The baby girl pointed a finger at me. "Play with me?"

"I guess that I have some time to play with you, sure."

"Dude," Jason whispered to me. "The only reason that we came to this park was to search for and save your friend Ashlee. There is no time to play!"

"Trust me," I strolled up to the baby and her pig. "Will you tell me where the blond-haired girl is if I play with you?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Alrighty. What do you want to do?"

"Merry-go-round."

"Okay. Show me where it is."

She hung onto her pig as Piggy rode off, and Jason and I followed them. We soon made it to the merry-go-round. It was pink, and there were unicorns of all colors.

Little did I know that this ride was too realistic for my taste.