My eyelids slowly lifted open as I saw a white blinding light hitting my eyes. I groaned in annoyance as I tried to regain awareness of my environment. The images of yesterday's night suddenly flashed in my mind reminding me of the fear.... No, it is too real to be a nightmare. I remembered the blood on the vases, the walls but I couldn't hold it any more. Why should I even keep it all in? I am not a strong person. I have a fragile heart. I admit that I am a human being too. I should stop pretending that nothing us wrong because I know it.... I just know it. Everything is just wrong.
I stretched my arm reaching my hand out for whoever was standing beside me. "If my soul could just fade away..."
"It won't." I heard a masculine voice nearby to see Shinra entering the room which by now seemed to be a hospital("And I did not call the police since you know that you have a lot of explanations to do."
Again, I remembered the word "Blue Raven" as my body started shivering violently. The name seems too familiar, but I have no idea of what it represents. I held my head tightly squeezing my eyes trying my best to forget about the horror I saw. No matter how I yearned for all this to be a dream, it was just too painful for a reality.
A pair of gentle hands, obviously Shin's warm delicate hands, were placed over my hands which were holding my head as he carefully tried to pull them away from my head. He leans in to place a kiss on head. But it is of no use.
No matter what warmth he was giving me, I could not control my raging heart. My brain is roaring for life. My soul is burning for the truth. What was that? Who did it? Why did that person do it? Does it have anything to do with me? Or is it just a threat? But I haven't even explored further into my home. I was too scared that I might find something... more terrifying.... the person who did this is.... a monster. It is just the work of a monster! "B-Blue......raven..." I stuttered.
"Blue raven?" He narrowed his eyes which made me caught with him in suspicion.
Did He really have an idea about what that was? "I feel like I heard it before but...."
"Of course you'd hear it before. It is your ex-boyfriend's favourite idol's name that he rants about all day."
"W-What?!" I exclaimed in shock. In the first place, I never heard Dan saying that name on his tongue before; especially when I am the one who usually used to spend most of the time with him. If "rants all day" was a meant phrase, then I must really not know alot about Dans. After all, he is just that mysterious guy who is silly, but it is also possible that he probably acts to be silly. What is the true he? What is his real personality. Even now when he left, is there a mild reason beneath it or is it something greater? "I never heard that name before...." The fact by itself that I did not know him truly well is really painful, especially when I thought that I was the person he was most close to, the person he trusted, and the person whom he only wants by his side; but could it be the other way round that I am the only person who thinks like that? "In the first place, he never told me about what he likes. Shame on me....
"Well, you probably was not paying enough attention to your environment I guess." Even those words he stated made it more obvious that I knew nothing about him. Yes indeed, I do not know him very well. "But the bigger problem is......" He sighed placing his hand on his forehead in frustration, "What does all the mess in the house have to do with his favourite idol....?"
A bulb has lit over my head as it came to my mind a thought that I personally would approve of being helpful, but maybe that will help me trace out the lines I missed from what he used to say and probably I won't feel inferior or being left out. "Maybe we could try to think about what he used to say when he mentioned Blue Raven?" Wait, to think of it, I sound as lame as a disheveled socks as I heard myself clearly stating this out; that probably was not a good idea after all.
"Amazing!" He exclaimed. Or maybe not? "But as far as I remember, he used to say....." He held his chin in deep thought as he resumed to ponder, "He used to say how rare that Idol was, ranting about her style all day."
"Style?"
"I remember him bragging about how we must see that woman idol of his because her style resembled a psycho or, a serial killer, and so goes on his list. "
"But how could a 'she' be that vulgar?" In the first place, how can he determine such a thing from a style?
A maudlin air of nostalgia hit me shooting unfamiliar shivers up my spine. The image of that woman he is talking about was vividly evocative that I became even more dumbfounded at how I am reacting to it and how I am feeling about her. Just why am I getting the feels that that description of her is really....... I squeezed my eyes shut trying to brush all lame unnecessary wonder out of my mind. I have always overthought stuff, so it wouldn't be any different this time.
"Well, that is what he likes about her the most."
"Likes?"
"Do not take me the wrong way of course." He tittered gesturing me to keep my wild wrong thoughts down.
I just remained in silence hoping that all peculiar feelings of nostalgia to be replaced my emptiness that will erode my heart since I did not want any more pain or stress than what I am already having.