15. Book Store

Another two months went by so quickly in Taehyung and Seokjin's lives. Since that dinner, Taehyung has made up his mind to really fight for Seokjin and this time, there is nothing in his mind that can stop him. Yoongi also stayed connected with him, at first, it was a bit awkward to him, but slowly, the bitter feelings went away completely, and he can fully say that he is healed, and he has forgiven Yoongi already.

Aside from that, he also quit work and decided to stay in the States for a while. Luckily for him, his uncle has a business out here in the US too and Taehyung got an offer to start working for the company as his uncle's representative, so he doesn't have to travel back and forth from Korea to the US. Taehyung thanked him and accepted the offer. His papers are currently being processed so that he can work here continuously with the hidden agenda to take back what is his.

Everything is going according to his plans, even his friendship with Seokjin is going great. No one can say a word against Seokjin whenever he decides to invite Taehyung over because they know that once they try to stop Seokjin, questions will arise, and they can't answer him completely. Yoongi is also a big factor why he can come close to Seokjin. Taehyung was made aware that Jimin always makes lies saying that he already invited him to the occasion, and he turned Jimin down when it's not the case. The invitation didn't even reached Taehyung. So, what Yoongi will do, he will tell Jin that Taehyung had a change of plans and he is already on his way.

And that made Seokjin a bit happier.

That's what Yoongi said.

As soon as he reached the place, he is always greeted by glares especially from Jungkook and Jimin most especially when Seokjin would give him a hug once he arrives. Taehyung wanted to smile smugly at them, he wanted to take pride that he can make Seokjin smile like that just because of his presence alone, but he refuses to do so. He doesn't want to look boastful because aside from just being a friend, Taehyung is nowhere to be found in Seokjin's life.

Unlike Jimin.

The mere thought of Jimin holding Seokjin at night haunt him one time when Yoongi asked him, "What if something happened already between Jimin and Seokjin? Will you still pursue my friend? Or you're just in because of sex? I need to know, Taehyung. Because from what I heard, you're a Grade-A asshole and now I am having doubts whether I did the right thing by encouraging you to run after Seokjin."

Did it offend Taehyung? Yes.

Does he have a choice to complain? No.

He understands why Yoongi will have hesitations, so he truthfully answered, "I love him. it may not seem like it by how I treated him, but I do love him. Long before I convinced myself to love you, I already had these feelings for Seokjin. And if Jimin and him already slept together, what is it to me? I can't accuse Jin of cheating when he doesn't even know that by that time, we had something. Just thinking about it, I already feel so much hate for Jimin, he is feeding Seokjin lies just to quench his selfish desires. How can he sleep at night? It's like having a time bomb ready to explode any minute. Doesn't he feel scared that one day Jin might remember everything and hate him for what he is doing?"

Yoongi looked at him with pity in his eyes. "If you loved him like what you claimed, then why? Why hurt him like that? I forced Seo Joon to tell me about what happened because you won't talk to me about it and I myself wanted to kill you."

"I was filled with hate and fear. I cheated on him with Seoyeon so I will prevent myself from falling harder. I did horrible shits to him because I wanted him to walk away from me because I wanted to blame Jin for leaving. I want to prove to myself that no one stays permanently in my life even though they say they love me they will end up hurting me."

"I was the cause of your fear, wasn't I?" Yoongi asked.

"Partly. But I can't blame you completely. I did loved you back then. I started to feel content and safe, but then you had to leave. I was devastated, but like what I said, I'm the one who put myself in that situation. Even if we ended up getting married, I think it won't come out great too, you are still in love with Namjoon and I, I have hung up feelings with Jin-hyung."

There was silence after that. Out of all their talks, the first question bugged Taehyung the most. He knows he has no rights to feel enraged when he himself fucked Seoyeon while he is with Jin, but heck, just thinking about Jimin and Jin together makes his blood boil. This is what Seokjin must have felt before when Taehyung is still hell bent on torturing him.

But Taehyung needs to put this past him or else, he will be just sitting around and watch as Jimin takes over Seokjin completely. He is done regretting what he did in the past. it served him a lesson, yes, but if he keeps on having a pity party with himself, the next thing he will know is that Seokjin and Jimin are already married.

So, as he walks in the busy street of their village with a coffee in his hand, the cold wind contrasting the warmth of the beverage he holds, he remembers Seokjin. Every step he takes is like a trip to memory lane. Three years ago, he is doing the same thing, walking on the street with the same coffee brand, same coat, snow covered the ground he walks on a nearby park. The only difference is, he is in another country and Seokjin doesn't remember him.

He sighed and drank his coffee. It is turning cold already. An exceptionally good comparison to his life since Seokjin left. The warmth slowly fading away. He can vividly recall the last winter they were together, Taehyung seemed not to feel the cold at all. all he remembers is the warm fuzzy feeling in his chest bubbling up because of the close proximity him and Seokjin shares.

Taehyung kept walking and walking until he stopped in front of a book shop. The light inside is already glimmering, igniting Taehyung's path. And again, he remembers Seokjin. The man is in love with books. Before sleeping, Seokjin will read, when he is resting, he makes sure he has a book in his hands, when no one is looking and he has all his time for himself, Taehyung will see Seokjin immersed in his own little world intaking every phrase and every word of the book he is holding. He already memorized the face he is making as he reads a book. Seokjin will scrunch his face when he is getting angry at the villain of the adventure book he is reading, lower lip jutted out slightly when he finds a scene heart-shattering enough to make him cry, or he will bite his lower lip to hide his smile when the romance book he reads is perfectly describing how the lead man will make a fool out of himself and the female lead is so endeared with him.

And Taehyung remembers just sitting there in their couch, Seokjin too oblivious to notice that he is there and he is watching his every move. Those are the moments that Taehyung lets himself slip and be soft for Seokjin. He smiled to himself and dragged his feet closer to the door of the shop. If there is anything that can make Seokjin happy it's books. Taehyung will try and pick one that will pique Seokjin's interest and give it to him as a gift.

His eyes are trained on the ground as he played with the snow every step he takes. he lifted his head and reached for the knob to went inside the said book shop, when he heard a chuckle.

"Taehyung!"

And the world suddenly felt warm again. Taehyung automatically smiled when he saw that the man who called his name is Seokjin.

"Jin-hyung," was all he was able to say.

"Buying some books too?"

Taehyung nodded his head and with a soft voice, he spoke, "I remembered you when I saw this shop and thought of buying you a book."

Seokjin cooed and grabbed Taehyung's arms and linked it with his, "Taehyung you are such a sweetheart. Come on darling, let's go inside and I will let you buy me books."

Taehyung choked when Seokjin called him darling. "What did you call me, hyung?"

They walked inside the bookstore. Seokjin is even humming as he took a stride across the shop to go to his favorite isle – the fiction section. Taehyung followed him eyeing the book that Seokjin grabbed and is currently reading the synopsis of.

"I called you darling. What's wrong with that? I feel like it fits you perfectly. Bread cheeks, cute smile, soft aura, very endearing. In conclusion, a darling." Seokjin answered absentmindedly, his attention still on the book he is holding.

"Bread cheeks?" Taehyung asked.

"Uh, yeah." Seokjin finally looked at him and raised his hand to pinch Taehyung's left cheek. "These cheeks makes me want to bite you sometimes."

Seokjin laughs a little seeing Taehyung blushed at the compliment. He shook his head and gave his full attention to another book that caught his eye.

Taehyung stood beside Seokjin and watched him as he choose what book he should buy.

"Hm, I can't choose. I want to buy the adventure one, but the romance is calling me. What do you think I should buy, Taehyung? This one or this one?" Seokjin lifted both books with both hands framing his face. He is very conflicted and that made Taehyung feel very endeared to him.

"You can buy both. I told you, I want to buy you any books you want."

And like a child, Seokjin's eyes sparkled, "Really?"

"You can even buy more. Pick everything you like, hyung."

"Oh I will, Taehyung. I will."

And Seokjin picked four more books indeed. They ended up paying for it on the counter and Seokjin kept thanking him. Taehyung relished in making Seokjin smile and giddy just like a kid if he could, he will let this moment freeze and live on forever.

"Tae, thank you for this. It has been a long time since I was able to purchase a new book, but because of you, I will have at least three-month worth of books to binge read."

"No biggie, hyung. I know you love reading so much. I am not surprised if by now, you already have a library in your house."

Confusion is etched on Seokjin's face. Taehyung assumes that it is because of the fact that he knows about Seokjin's favorite past time aside from cooking. Seokjin rarely showed this side to him to others because it can only be seen when he is inside the confinements of their home.

"Wait, how did you know I love books?"

Taehyung just shrugged and grinned at Seokjin. "I just know. Jimin knows about it too, right?"

"How I wish. But sadly, me and Jimin don't spend enough time to do that. I can't even ask him to go book shopping with me because he is too busy. I only went out today because I am extremely bored, and I needed something to do."

"Did you try telling him?"

Seokjin shook his head. "No. I don't want to come off as needy. I get that he is tried from all the traveling he does and all he wants to do when he is at home with me is rest and sleep or cuddle."

"You can tell him. he won't be mad at you. I am sure of that."

If there is one thing that haven't changed in Seokjin, it is the absolute want to not be the cause of someone's discomfort and Taehyung can see it perfectly in this situation.

"I know, but I can't. I'd rather do it myself, alone like what I have planned today, but thank god I saw you I have more books than I have originally planned on buying, and a real person whom I could talk to."

The last phrase caught Taehyung's attention. "Well, there's Yoongi, Namjoon, Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok too."

"I know, but Yoongi and Joon are busy with their kid, they are just adjusting from being husbands to being parents to their child. On Jungkook, Hobi and Jimin, I have a lot of heavy feelings around them. It's like they are hiding something from me."

"Why do you say that?" Needless to say, Taehyung was taken aback because of what Seokjin said. he didn't know that Seokjin is feeling things like that.

"One, they deleted all my socials. I refuse to believe their bullshit that I don't have one. Two, they don't even tell me how I spent the last decade of my life before my amnesia started. I am feeling so annoyed with them because of that. Even Jimin won't tell me to think that he is my partner, but he just tells me to not think about it when I ask him. How can I not think about it? it's my life and it's already been three years, why can't they tell me? What happened to me that they keep on hiding it?"

Taehyung completely understands what Seokjin feels. It sucks to not know anything and having those suspicions inside your head, but you have no one around that is willing to confirm them. It's like going crazy. Everyone contradicts your gut feel, but deep inside the person knows that nothing is okay.

"What if they are just protecting you, hyung?"

"Why do I need protection? Who are they protecting me from? I am a grown ass man. I can fend for myself." Seokjin said, "I'd rather face the truth than be left wondering like this."

They need to protect you from me.

Taehyung doesn't have the courage to say those words to Seokjin's face so instead what he said was:

"I am sorry, hyung."

"What are you sorry for?"

He can't answer properly. If he is to tell Seokjin, will Seokjin understand Will Seokjin believe him? Or will this be the end of his battle in getting him back?

In the end his fear of losing Seokjin prevailed, he shook his head. "Nothing. I'll tell you some other time. Let's just cheer up for now and we can go to a bakery and we can eat while you read your books."

"Hm, I guess it would really help me cool off."

Surprisingly, Seokjin let the topic go so easily. Taehyung find it odd, but he just brushed it off for now and smiled at Seokjin.

"I know it would." Taehyung said and they crossed the street to the nearest bake shop.

They settled inside and Seokjin eagerly pulled out one book from his paper bag and examined it. "I want to read now, but I think it would be rude of me not to entertain you after buying me all this."

Taehyung chuckled. "No, it's fine. I understand. You can read for as long as you please."

Seokjin shook his head. "No, I will do my reading once I got home. Let's just catch up for now. I can't do that when we are at my home since I am always the busiest bee preparing everything." Seokjin chuckled. The waiter went to them to get their order and when they are done, Seokjin turned to him again and asked, "How about you Tae? What happened to you the past ten years?"

"You really want to know?"

Seokjin raised a brow. "Yeah. That's why I asked."

Taehyung chuckled. Still sassy as ever.

"I once had amnesia too, just like you." He revealed. Seokjin turned wide eyed at him.

"Why?"

"Got into an accident because I was so occupied by my thoughts, I didn't notice what I was doing." Taehyung gave the simplest answer he can give that would not give away his or Seokjin's past. "When I woke up, I forgot everything and saw my fiancé. He is there in the same hospital room I was in and I can tell he got so worried. But since I don't remember anything about myself, I looked for a different name and I saw how heartbroken he was."

"Oh, I would be too if that happens to me. Ugh, I can't imagine going through that. I think I would cry every day just because my fiancé forgot about me."

"You did ..."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, what I mean is you did perfectly explain how my fiancé's state were that time. but not only that, as days go by, bit by bits I started having bits of my memories back and I was an asshole. I hurt him so much, but he still stayed beside me. Not only that, I also cheated on him ..."

"Oh my god. Why? What did he do to deserve that?"

"He didn't do anything wrong. He is perfect. I loved him ever since the moment I saw him. I really liked him so much, but I also had a friend that loves him, so I thought, they are better off together and suppressed what I felt for him. then, I met this guy, he is close to my fiancé and I dated him. slowly, I felt comfortable around him and after I finished college I proposed, he said yes but on the day of my wedding he left and ran away with his first love."

"Holy shit."

"And from then on, I hated on my present fiancé. I was an ass too blinded by my own selfish emotions that I poured my anger to him. I hated him because I learned that he begged my supposed to be fiancé – before him – to date me and I blamed him when that ex-fiancé ran away from me. I thought to myself if he hadn't begged that person then I wouldn't be in the mess that I am in. Then I dated him with the intention of hurting him. He took the bait and for ten years he endured all sufferings I caused him. I almost, almost gave in to him and halt the plan, but I am so afraid that he will leave me too. So, a month before the wedding I gave him the impression that I don't want him and that I am leaving him for good. Then the accident happened."

"I kept wondering why he is always sad, and he seemed to be so out of life. I tried to make him happy, and I know that I am doing a good job, I saw him smile more than once, his eyes slowly come back to life, but I just had to ruin it when he found out who my other man was. I told him that I don't have plans on coming back to that guy and that I loved him, but after waking up the next day, he is gone and the moment I saw him again, he is in the arms of another and I can't claim him back even if I want to. He already forgot about me."

"That ... That was so sad." Taehyung looked up and saw Seokjin sobbing. He immediately felt worried and reached for his hand.

"I'm sorry I made you cry, hyung."

"It's okay. But I understand what you did. It's not good, but I understand."

"You always do."

Before Seokjin can even ask, the waiter came back with their cakes and drinks. Taehyung thanked him and looked at Seokjin again. "I made you cry again."

Seokjin chuckled, "It's okay. I just got carried away. Plus, what are the odds that I will be meeting someone who had the same condition as me inside my friend circle."

"I know. it really amazed me too. Who would've thought." Who would've thought you'd suffer from the very same illness as I did, he thought. "By the way, where is Jimin?"

"In Korea. He will return next week. That's what he said." Seokjin answered and began reading his book.

Taehyung has no plans to interrupt Seokjin at all, but he can't help himself but to ask a question. "Do you miss him, hyung?"

Seokjin lifted his head and smiled at Taehyung slightly. "A lot, of course. But I also like it when he is not around, I can breathe and be myself."

Taehyung raised a brow at that. The way Seokjin said it feels off for him. he can't pinpoint what it is, but surely it's not something that Seokjin is happy of. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing. I just feel like," he took a deep breath, eyes lingering on the hardwood table before slightly shaking his head and giggling at Taehyung. "Nothing. Just don't mind me."

"If you say so, hyung. If you say so. F you want to talk or hang out or whatever, you know where to call me, alright? Don't hesitate to call me."

"I know, Taehyung. Thank you."

Seokjin went back to reading. Taehyung just eyes him from time to time peeking at him just like what he used to do so before. Today, he took the liberty on focusing on Seokjin's facial features. He knew back then that Seokjin has been the most beautiful his eyes will ever set on, but god, why does he have to be prettier now? no words can describe how Seokjin is so ethereal whilst being a human.

All Taehyung's life he only seen the novels portrayed someone as being out of this world, but that was when he hasn't met Seokjin yet. Sitting right here at the very moment with him makes Taehyung remember how he felt the first time he saw Seokjin. his world slowly blurring, and his eyes only set on the boy he saw at high school talking to the other kids smiling and laughing with them is with now the very same man sitting in front of him, only he is more matured and still equally lovable than before.

Taehyungs smiled to himself and shook his head when he caught himself acting like a teenage boy gushing over his long-time crush. Isn't he too old for this already? Shouldn't he be past the age where he will feel the butterflies and all the romantic books shits that he has read from way back?

He let out a chuckle. that made Seokjin look at him, "Why?"

"Nothing. I just remembered something funny." He reasoned out. "Hyung, can I borrow one of your books? I think I am interested on one of those."

"Really?" Taehyung nodded in response. "Here. Enjoy that one. We will discuss that book once I finish that."

"Okay, Sir."

They both chuckled and paid attention to their respective books. Taehyung immersed himself just like what Seokjin is doing and as soon as he got the hang of it, he perfectly understood why Seokjin loves reading very much. It created a portal for him, and he is being transmitted to another world, like a soul leaving its body temporarily to wander and unravel great mysteries.

Time passed and they didn't notice that two hours already passed. Taehyung has read a hundred pages already and he has no plans on stopping but a voice that called Seokjin's name made him look up.

"Jimin! I thought you will be coming home next week, sweetcakes?" A surprised Seokjin asked.

"I did my best so I can come home earlier than expected. I miss you so much." he pecked Seokjin's lips. Taehyung cleared his throat. Jimin just gave him a side glare.

"Sweetcakes, I am with Taehyung the whole day and we went book shopping. He gifted me nine books in total." Seokjin cheerfully said. Jimin just hummed and grabbed Seokjin by the waist.

"I see. Can we go home now?"

Seokjin nodded. "I will just go to the rest room."

Upon saying that, Seokjin went to the rest room and left the two males who were glaring at each other as soon as Seokjin is nowhere near them.

"I told you to back off." Jimin said in his low dangerous voice while clenching his fist.

"And I told you that I will get what is mine. What's not clicking?" Taehyung said smugly returning his attention to the book he is holding. "I am not doing anything that is against Seokjin's will. I am not using your lies to get him back I am just simply being his friend. I am not even doing anything yet, why are you so threatened?"

"You will do nothing but hurt him. do you think that is he will get to know what you did to him he will forgive you? He won't because all he has for you is hate and nothing more!"

"I will only stop if Jin-hyung says so himself. You are not him, Jimin. You don't get to make the rules here."

He stared back at Jimin. Taehyung is trying to keep his cool and not lose composure in a public place. Not only will it cause havoc, but it will only confuse Seokjin more making the situation messier than it already is.

Jimin is ready to fire back Taehyung's words when Seokjin popped up and held on Jimin's arms, "Come on let's go."

Then Seokjin looked at Taehyung, "I will leave that book to you and we will meet again to discuss and have a conversation about that."

"Of course, hyung. I am available anytime." He smirked at Jimin.

"Why do you have to do that, sweetheart? Can't you just read it yourself?"

Seokjin rolled his eyes and playfully punched Jimin's biceps, "Dummy, if you love reading and you found someone who is willing to share the same interest as you, you must not waste a chance to do this. it's fun hearing about other people's intake on a story or a novel. I always learn something from it, I get to see it in a different perspective. And it also deepens the bond people have. I feel like we grow closer towards each other's hearts while doing these things."

Taehyung stood up and fixed himself, with the book in his hand, "Jin hyung is right, Jimin. Isn't it beautiful that Jin hyung and I get to spend time together and be close? Who knows, maybe in the future I can even look after him for your sake when you go back to Korea, what do you think? Jinn hyung here likes my company, right?"

Oblivious Seokjin nodded and grinned at Taehyung.

Jimin decided not to entertain Taehyung any further and wordlessly grabbed Seokjin and led him to his car. Taehyung watched as they left. He looked at the book in his hand.

"I better read this wholeheartedly and make that conversation worthwhile." 

Happy Birthday! chiaradmd 💜🖤♥️