Chapter 43

The Horrific Event

The almighty Sun rose up at the Orient horizon slowly rising up over the Mediterranean sea giving him the blue color that by night became a living mirror of the epic war between ancient Gods.

 Now thinking maybe it wasn't at all a war between them but what they souls felt being so close to each other. 

Since he came back to her life, Storm has been their companion. Looks like that was a reflection of their inner feelings.

Rays of the almighty fell on that old window glass and went further between heavy velvet curtains that the small breeze was moving them making possible they find a way to reach her eyelid. 

She welcomed them by peering her eyes, raising her nose to breathe air that was coming freshly from the open side of the window.

The petrichor is her favorite aroma. Likewise, a smile was painted on her face as she stretched her body that seemed to be under leather of sheets covering her. 

Moving she discovered that her head wasn't over a pillow but instead of it was a large muscle arm.

Then a hand caught her belly and pushed towards another body that didn't need too much to discover that it was a man.

Panic caught her being.

The alcohol scent was still lingering inside her mouth.

Closing her eyes strongly, telling Dua that it was all a dream she slowly turned to face the man that was holding her head and caught her belly.

Slowly open her eyes, finding nonetheless that her once upon enemy is naked and awake.

Her eyes became prisoner of his eyes  and like a short movie passed what happened last night. Didn't last long till her cheek got that red hue tint and her eyelid closed to avoid his eyes, her breath quickened too.

"Sibel we need to talk, better you have to explain to me what was those nonsense you were blabbering hours ago." His voice sounded seren yet firm. 

He rose up, making her do the same as she covered herself and he did too.

She was clutching the sheet making fist of them  ,her beautiful eyes were again covered by the shear of saltwater that started pouring down like pearl droplets her little sniff made him turn his head towards her. He immediately embrace her tiny frame. Saving the sheet from her  hands he took all her naked form over his lap that actually was bare too. She rested on his broad chest and was crying.

No sensual tension between them, just two hearts beating just two souls finding out that they are made from the same flame. Their breath mingled and made her feel safe in the arms of her once upon a time enemy.

She slowly distanced herself from him not feeling shy neither covering her body her finger removed the last tears as she breathed slowly.

"Sibel if it hurts so much don't say it love, I will wait  when you will be ready" he took her face and stared those twinkle eyes that held so much pain.

"No Sinbad I need to tell before it consumes my soul in this sinful sea of guilt."

He nodded, grabbing a sheet passing across her frame to keep warm as she was staring at the void till closing her eyes. Then slowly opening them she looked like  just went to the past and was smiling at her memories.

"A year before I returned to Oriental I had this weird dream. I was running toward the light of the sun happily like I had never been in my life till then. At the end of it my belly was swollen and I was happy caressing it till a bright light almost left me blind and I found myself giving birth. Although it was painful, I was smiling till I heard the cry. They gave the baby to me saying it was a boy. Like those animals that don't care if their child is covered in blood and fluids, I held my boy, kissed and called his name Mert then I woke up in my room at the hostel. " She was smiling and Sinbad was astonished at her as continued narrating.

"I took it like a dream about my new success that was coming but that dream kept repeating till after a week I met him. Dream pause for some time till we kissed and then I could see more of my pregnancy moment. I was close to kids as my brother had children and I used to care A Lot for them but this was different. The intensity I had to have a baby on my belly was insane. If i didn't respect myself and know my boundaries I would come pregnant at home. I had every intention to get pregnant as soon as possible. But you enter the picture." She says and looks at him that was listening with pain now knowing what she meant.

"I know you may think I came to your farm just for show but that night when my brother explained what happened to you I couldn't sleep. I was restless all the time,  and felt extremely guilty. One question was hunting my mind 'How did I miss the truth?' When I came to you, I was genuinely from my heart. I didn't have fear from you. I wanted to hug you and apologize. But better that I didn't do, like this you wouldn't look like a total psycho at the end.

 Even forcing me in marriage I still had hope on you that in away you would not touch me

…" She held her head as cried her heart out. He didn't hug or try to stop her. He was listening to her confession and each word was scraping a piece of his heart. She dried her eyes and took back her breath.

"You show your supremacy at the wedding but at least I hope you would give time to adjust to be friends or maybe I would propose to take the other step as I wanted to be a mother. When you said this is your room, a shiver of relief passed on me( she smiled at him) but quickly vanished when you closed the door and you approached me." Her breath stopped as realize that was now close to her enemy, quickly she moved away from him. He shut his eyelid holding his tears as the teeth tear apart his inner lips.

"I pleaded to you Sinbad, I cried, I screamed, why didn't you listen to me? So deaf you were that you didn't notice that you slapped me so hard that it knocked me out? No one had slapped me before. I was the no-touch flower of my family. You turned me into a lifeless body in less than an hour.

At least tell me something honestly did you enjoyed raping me that night?!" She asked, looking at him that was staring at her already.

What question was that?

He was drawn into his guilty conscience nodding his head feeling dirty, feeling a monster in front of her eyes.

Sinbad couldn't hold it anymore and cried out loud

"I am sorry Sibel. I am so sorry! Kill me now, please end everything!" He joined his hand before her and unexpectedly she left the comfort sheet unfolding his hand and took his head on her hands.

"Shhh I am not telling all of these for you to ask sorry or cry like this. You wanted to know what happened when I left Mert?!" She asked as gently held him and refuge his body inside her own, like he was a little kid.

Sinbad slowly detached himself from her, deleted his tears away, took a deep breath as he was coming to his senses. She had descended from bed and grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Drink a bit." 

He drank all of it in one breath. He didn't have any idea how thirsty was. Some droplets fall from the corner of his lips. This time she didn't use a napkin but fingers then pressed her lips swallowing the water left on his lips.

The pain in his soul vanished like she was sucking it. His body got excited.

Her body got inflamed.

But…

He slowly pushed her away.

"We do reconcile love after. Sibel continues your confession but not being at arm's length away from me."

He took a pillow and put over his lap to hide his semi-erection as sat down near the headboard

,making a sign to her to sit down over his lap just as she was.

She didn't think twice and obeyed.

"Now continue nefesim (my breath)" he says as cover her with a sheet.

She went again at that time, his hands weren't touching her he left her on her own to confess.

" Not needing to enter in detail as I know you didn't forget them so I'm moving on.

You really keep your word to destroy me. I was a mess. More than a mess I was shattered, destroyed from in out. I was dying so fast that no one could stop me.

Since that night till you brought Mert to me I couldn't send my mind to rest for a moment. 

I needed 10 hours of sleep a day because being a pianist and playing for hours was more than considerably the tenth hour. Also I love sleeping because my dreams aren't common at all. They may be scary sometimes but usually are beautiful. I don't know why I didn't get the notification on my dream for you." She said and he shrugged. Sibel patted his cheek. He took her hand give a kiss inside her palm unknowingly causing a shiver that went to her core. Rose powder of excitement paints her all being.

He made signs to continue.

"Not being able to sleep and your torture get worsening I couldn't fabricated a single thought. I forget basic biology. You raping could let me pregnant as you made sure to let go all of you semen  inside me"

He just stared at her as she moved on with her words that are poisonous spears towards his soul.

"I don't know how other women can accept it as a normal thing when it isn't Sinbad. Rape broke the confidence I had, broke the Sibel Kara everyone knew. Isn't for the act as for the meaning the man that women who had carried inside had nutrition had raised are able to go deaf upon hearing yelling and screaming of another woman. I was fighting a lost war against you, acting pride just to not make you ease your winning. But inside I was empty. When Hakan left this Mark you know I didn't yell or scream at all I supported the pain. I succumbed inside me.

Although I said don't come, I was looking at the door all the time. Maybe you weren't so cruel at the end.  You know when one of his men open the door to release me cause fire had started my heart did a flip thinking it was you. But you were busy fucking another woman in my miserable bedroom."

The exchange of their looks was formidable

Hope vs disappointed 

Pain vs guilt

Loyalty vs betrayal 

No words could explain this feeling better than their eyes.

"Moving onward, the morning when you made breakfast as what happened before was just a repetition of your actions that you did only to separate my body and soul more.

In anger that you use everything to hurt me I broke the glass.

There when you got panicked looking at me harmed and bleeding, my sadistic self surfaced. I wasn't just a sadist but at the same time a masochist too. I didn't feel pain hurting myself as long as you were suffering.

I like to give you hope so I could shatter them. (She laughs)That part is my darkest side of myself. I had planned to break my fingers with the piano since the time I was playing when you brought it.

I was dancing in my mind from happiness that you were worried, suffering.

At my last act I didn't think that I would cut so deep the veins. Cause I wasn't planning to kill myself but to hurt you.

When I saw the blood pouring like a red river and I didn't feel pain I thought maybe THIS was my moment I lied inside the tub and open water." He took her wrist and kissed over the leaves,the mark, didn't stop there and kissed all the mark she did to herself. She welcomed him . In the end he was on her neck  his tongue licked away toward her earshell.

"Continue" he whispered as she nodded breathlessly.

"My lunatic action ended when you told me I was pregnant. There a current of happiness electrified my being and I was in seven clouds. I gave my ultimate and I knew you would obey me. Enjoying those months being the happiest woman in the world and almost forgetting what you did to me. I never said a bad word towards my baby. Even the nasty nausea I welcome with a smile. When you started calling me after divorce I wasn't so angry with you as I made it. Cause in a way or another you helped me on making my miracle. I can see you are wondering what happened then. I am coming to that part.

Having him inside was something else with having him in my arms. When Peri put him on my chest you have no idea how blessed I felt. It was a magical feeling. He was so tiny, so adorable that I didn't want to leave him. 

"I know, I saw you laboring see this hand scars( he show the back of his his hand that had those scars carved still) I made that time punching the wall cause I couldn't held your hand." He said, fading a smile as moved her hair from the collar bone.

"Did you hold him that time, too?!"

"Yes, Feride,the nurse helped me. He was so small I feared I could hurt him."

"Yeah me too but the mother instinct kicked in and I became a feral mom. No one could keep him away from me.

He was my dream. 

He was my breath. 

He became my reason to live. Do you know I forget to eat or even blink my eyes cause I fear something could happen to him. Peri fed me while I didn't remove my eyes from him. Or when they brought to you I was washing and to keep me busy Peri sent over the massagist  so you could have time with our Mert.

When the first month passed, everything started to crumble once again.

In that  first month I was the happiest woman in the world. Just me and my boy enjoying our lives till…"

Here she pauses a bit her breast roses up slowly, rises her head to meet his eyes and she continues.

"My mom was the first to say:' You had your point, and now is time to go back to his father. People had started to talk. I'm barely keeping the rumors at bay.'

"What rumors? What do you mean?"I asked her. 

'Whatever happened no one can't change it now. You go to his father who looks repentant and ready to do everything for both of you.' she said.

I was shocked. She knew well what you did what I did to my body but her family honor come first. There I started to dig my own end.  Every one that came to see or visit had a spoon word for me. I started to have anxiety, panic attacks. Remember I didn't send the boy to you too. I got more isolated. Didn't speak with no one beside Peri but my mom did everything to push that button. 

Till that unfortunate day…" her face loose the color her eyes were focus on void her hands come across her bare chest as she finally narrated the event.

" I was nursing Mert after we both get washed. When the words of them come inside me clashing with you actions they were creating a torture life. Like you will keep me separated by my boy as you through me to the dungeon and you marry another woman and she mistreat Mert. Mert was crying, I was yelling pleading you to not do that…

From nowhere came Peri that started to shake me then slapped me. I come to senses only to witness the tragedy that happened. In my madness I had suffocated Mert. His tiny body was turning blue. Peri grabbed and I fell to the ground with my hand above asking God Forgiveness and to save my boy. I asked him life for life but I wasn't dying and he was still blue. There I took an oath. 

I swear I will go away from him.

I Swear I will not see him, smell him hug him till you bring him before me God but just give him back to me and his father.

Yemin ederim (I swear)

Yemin ederim (I swear)

Yemin ederim (I swear).

In the end of my oath he cried outloud. I immidiately went there but didn't touch. I was terrified.

Peri convinced me that was alright to give my motherhood to him as I wasn't yet breaking the oath I just took. The rest you know. 

Now honestly saying who is the monster in this room?"

Her heart wrenching confession.

Her calling herself a monster.

Made Sinbad realize who was the true monster inside that room not only there but in every room where tragedies like Sibel or worse that have happened since the beginning of mankind.

"I am the monster Sibel, not you. I hurt you and I fear to come and fix you.

I knew well to come to force you in the unwanted marriage.

I called myself man raping you, beating you, torturing you.

But when you were pregnant in need for me I abandoned you fearing something absurd. Like I couldn't see that you were in love with our son still inside your belly.

I was coward. Yes, a coward indeed,cause I couldn't face you from shame I felt.

To destroy you I grabbed your hand.

To build you I was afraid.

See the only monster is me.

And now I get all the mistery. This white hair is for that reason right?!"

"Yes, as soon as that happened my hair turned to gray slowly and at the end of the year I had gray hair. Then I started to dye them but this color fits them as isn't far from natural."

Diverting the attention from the pain is called this technic that he used. He couldn't see her in that condition anymore. 

"Do you hate me?" She asked, surprising him. The technique didn't work on her stubborn head although he tried.

How could he hate her? But showing with words or distracting her wasn't an option anymore.

Locking his eyes with her. She, waiting for his answer, placing her hair behind but a single lock disobey and come forward over her eye. He using his fingers like sticks caught the straid hair and placed behind. His finger draw a line from the corner of the eye passing down to her jaw line stop at her chin rose up caressing her plump lips, goosebumps run on her skin as she shut eyes and slicely open her lips to let go a soft moan. He loved the reaction of her not precipitating his movement he went up to her perfect nose than cross glabella to repeat the same action on the other side. Unknowing Sibel was relaxing her sorrow of the past slowly was getting easier to be carry on. When felt his hot breath on her crook. Her eyes were shut than she opened just to put her lips on his open crook. They didn't move their lips neither to kiss

neither to suck

Just breathing.

She never had thought that this moment could come 

when Sibel kara will breath from his skin.

When Sibel kara will kiss him voluntary.

When Sibel kara will want his touch to mark her skin.

As she was lost in her thought he left a wet kiss on her shoulder and face her.

That straid hair had a mind of her own as it came again. He catches and puts behind holding with four fingers as the thumb caresses the soft spot when the ear meets the neck.

Drawn on her mystical eyes collapse his lips with her. Wasn't going easy on her lips that were completely vanished inside his mouth cave. She had left free passage his tongue to discover her inside cave taking the air from her lungs. Her hand on his shoulder tap twice and he slowly retreat but she draw him  imitating his previous action but doing like this she fall on her back making him hovering her. 

Lips to lips

Chest to chest 

Skin to skin 

Her hand come between them removing the pillow that was forbidding them to be one.

Her hands caress his skin not like before .

His lips passed down her neck,to her clavicle with sloppy kiss he took her adorned globe inside his mouth like a vacuum machine leaving incredible Mark behind. He was going down her but she held his head and brought it over her head ,kissing like there wasn't tomorrow.

"Love me!" She whispered

And he got her.

His hand went down when their part has met and where ready to be one.

This moment was priceless.

A woman asking

A woman guiding

A woman writhing under your touch.

He never missed her eyes sending her into every corner of the sky above.

For the last drive he cross fingers with hers and fall over filling her with everything that he got for her only.

 "Do you have any doubt that you are the only one my heart want? I have wait for you Sibel. I have wait for you and I will wait an eternity cause loving you is a reason to live. " He said as a whisper in her ear, giving her the answer.

She put her head over his chest and crossed her arm around his torso. He enveloped her body with his safe arms.

"What if I never sined toward you that night Sibel? He question his life more than her.

She rose her head , kissed his cheek.

"Let's dream it"

___________________

I hope you enjoyed it.

I know it is a long chapter but I couldn't shorten it.

Waiting your feedback.

Please 🙏 let me know how the story is till now.

Next chapter will be a parallel universe of Their story like he said : "What if he never sinned toward her?"

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Till the next update that will depend on how responsive you readers will be Güle güle !