Gratitude

You took the elevator down and left the nearly empty lobby of the World Tower. No longer filled with the sounds of hustling and bustling businessmen and women, the open space felt more like a marble museum than anything. The security guards behind the front counter watched the cameras mindlessly, not bothering to glance your way as Jimin escorted you to the doors. 

The street outside was still exploding with life, despite the time of night. A city that truly never slept.

A brisk breeze blew your hair, whipping it in front of your face. Releasing Jimin's hand you instinctively reached to grab a hold of your shawl and pull it up around your shoulders in attempts to shield yourself from the wind.

The tips of your fingers met thin air, you must have left it inside the restaurant. You quickly looked back at the doors behind you. You noticed a security guard walking up to the doors from the inside, locking them.

"Damn it." You huffed under your breath.

"What's wrong?" Jimin turned in the direction you were facing.

"I left my shawl inside." You explained with a sigh.

Jimin took notice of the security guard locking the door, sealing the idea of getting it back with the clicks of the metal.

"Ah shit, I'm sorry." Jimin frowned, the curse sounded wrong coming from his lips.

"It's fine. It's not your fault. I'll manage, don't worry." You smiled, waving your hand dismissively.

"I can try and stop by tomorrow to get it and bring it to your hotel." Jimin suggested as he turned to you.

Raising your hands you wrapped them around yourself and rubbed your palms against your bare arms to warm up. His offer was sweet, but tomorrow you would be with. . . You cast your gaze away and shook your head. "No, that's fine, you don't have to go through that much trouble. It's just a piece of fabric." You insisted, not wanting to point out that you wouldn't be at the hotel tomorrow, though he knew that already.

Jimin fell silent for a moment, and you could feel his eyes on you before he raised his arms to shrug off his suit jacket from his shoulders, letting it slide down his arms. He swung it around your shivering frame and draped it over you. "Well then, at the very least take my jacket." He said, smiling at you softly as he placed his hands over your now clothed shoulders. The look in his deep brown eyes was asking you not to refuse.

Reluctantly you nodded and grabbed the hem of the jacket and pulled it closed. It was warm and smelled of lemongrass and a soothing musk. "Thank you." You grinned and looked at your feet.

Jimin released your shoulders and tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "Don't mention it. Looks better on you anyway." You rolled your eyes and came up beside him, giving his arm a playful nudge. The two of you began to walk aimlessly down the sidewalk, and you used the cold as an excuse to cross your arms over your chest.

It wasn't that you didn't want to hold his hand, which you knew he'd try to do the second one of yours was free. You just didn't want him to feel how clammy they were. You were leaving soon, and this was the last night you would be seeing him for who knew how long.

You had come to the realization days ago, honestly you weren't sure if there had been a doubt in your mind in the first place. You'd been entranced by Namjoon from the beginning, and the feeling hadn't dwindled or diminished for a second, no matter how much time you spent with Jimin. Then again, this wasn't a competition. This was never a test to see who you'd choose. You'd just needed to make sure that the feelings you'd felt for Jimin weren't more than a slight attraction.

Alright, there was no such thing as a slight attraction to Jimin. But that's all this was. You didn't want to be anything more than friends with him, as charming and seductive as he undeniably was. And he deserved to know that. It was the telling him part that unnerved you. You never wanted his handsome face to be set in a frown because of you. But you'd been selfish for too long.

The two of you ended up next to the Cheonggyecheon Stream, strolling along the water at a leisurely pace. The hem of your dress lightly scraped the ground as you walked, and Jimin's jacket brushed your palms.

Your eyes drifted to his side profile, looking at him in the soft yellow glow of the sidewalk lights. Each time you passed one, he seemed to shine angelically. He noticed you staring and turned his head to meet your gaze.

He smiled at you, one of those award winning, heart stopping smiles. You were about to be the reason that dazzling smile shattered. You focused your gaze instead on the water, staring intently at the ripples and waves.

You'd dropped your arms, and it didn't take long before you felt gentle fingers lightly press at the side of your palm, attempting to worm their way in. You opened your hand slowly, taking in a breath as Jimin let the tips of his fingers graze over the skin of your inner hand before lacing his fingers with your own and giving your hand a firm but comforting squeeze.

You looked down, staring at your now clasped hand as it held his. Your eyes flashed back up to his. You could see the confusion in his eyes, even as he smiled down at you. He could tell something was on your mind.

You looked ahead of you, breaking from his gaze once again, prolonging this conversation for as long as you could. But it was time. Several scenarios flashed through your mind all at once. Jimin getting angry and leaving you alone in this park with no way to get back to your hotel. Jimin regarding you with cold indifference, his walls slamming into place from your rejection. Jimin smiling at you sadly with understanding and acceptance. You weren't sure which you would prefer.

Some small, conceited voice in your head was telling you that you didn't have to do this tonight, not right now. You could preserve the joy and keep it in your pocket forever. You could leave this place with Jimin's laugh in your last memories. No need to ruin the date he'd planned just for you. But this wasn't a date. And you weren't together. You owed him the truth.

You spotted a small little bench a few feet off the path and suddenly became more aware of your throbbing feet in the heels you were not used to wearing.

"My feet are killing me. Do you mind if we rest for a minute?" You asked, your voice coming out much less confident than you had hoped.

"Yeah, of course." He said without hesitation, his hand moving to the small of your back as he walked with you to the bench. You let go of his hand so that you could smooth your dress out properly before taking a seat. The freezing metal bit at your legs through your thin dress. Your fingers curled into the fabric of the suit jacket, pulling it tighter around you and trying to make it swallow you whole for more reasons than one.

You sat in silence, the night mocking you with the dead quiet. It was trying to force the words from you before you were ready. You didn't know what to say or how to say it. Your mind reeled, searching and digging for the right way to avoid hurting Jimin or at least soften the blow. He broke the silence though, as soon as you had opened your mouth to speak.

He cleared his through, drawing your eyes to his lips. He wasn't looking at you or even facing you. He stared straight ahead as he spoke.

"I didn't know I could have fun with anyone who wasn't family, old friends, or the members. I didn't think my heart could beat as fast as it does when I'm on stage. But these last few days with you... I know what you must think. I've been wining and dining you even though it's out of your comfort zone, trying to impress you and showing off. I want to show you who I really am, let you get comfortable with me, like you are with him." Your heart clenched.

"But the fact of the matter is, there's no time. And frankly, I don't think time would make a difference here. It's been him from day one and I've known that all along. Maybe I didn't need to get to know you to start falling for you. Or maybe I just wanted to see if I also deserved someone who looked at me like I was human." He didn't sound angry, defeated, or sad. He sounded like he was letting you go, romantically that is.

He continued, but now he looked at you with an unreadable expression. "You're kind, and you make us all feel like we can act like ourselves around you. You look at the world like it's something to be cherished, not taken for granted. You're funny, smart, outgoing, and beautiful, and I swear on all that I am if he ever hurts you, he'll regret it. But nobody deserves you more than Namjoon, more than my brother. I just wonder who would get to him first if he ever broke your heart, me or Nova." You laughed a shaky laugh, your eyes tinged with moisture.

Your tone was hoarse and raspy, but you smiled as you said "Even though she would probably have to hop on a plane and fly across the world, I'm pretty sure Nova would beat you to it. But if you asked nicely, she may let you hold him down."

"I'll take that." He chuckled and leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours. You closed your eyes and he brought your knuckles to his lips, kissing them softly.

A relieving sense of calm flooded through you as you leaned against Jimin's arm. He wasn't mad at you. He didn't hate you. He wanted you to be happy. What's more, he wanted Namjoon to be happy. You hadn't ripped apart a band. You hadn't destroyed a very successful group.

"Ya know," he smirked, pulling your face up by your chin, "had I known that our last kiss was going to be our last, I would have drawn it out. Maybe the outcome would have been different."

You rolled your eyes for the tenth time that night. Leaning forward, you placed your hands on either side of his face. He closed his eyes under your fingers, waiting in anticipation. You bit your bottom lip to keep from smiling. You let your lips brush over his cheek, brushing over the bone next to his nose. Letting him go, you sat back down, a smug smile playing on your lips. 

He gaped at you, mouth hanging open. "Oh, you tease!"

You giggled and shook your head. "Nah, teasing would have meant dangling something in front of you that you had a chance of getting." You knew he wouldn't actually take offense to your playful banter.

He clutched his heart and widened his eyes, feigning hurt. "Ouch. I knew I should have played the woe-is-me can't-handle-rejection card."

You laughed and shoved him. The air between you was light and happy, which is more than you could have asked for. You continued on this way for the rest of the night until the sky started to grow lighter.

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