Namjoon's POV:-

In life, I wanted to do my best, I knew I had it within me. I have the confidence along with people's support which has made me what I am but somewhere, I ain't as happy as I should be.

I'm a rapper and I write lyrics as well. Being a part of a band which has become famous internationally is a great achievement for me because that was something unexpected.

I am proud that all our hard work paid off but someday when the workload gets too much, I distant myself from all of it. At times, I don't get sleep because of the noise that I can hear in my head, the crowd, the expectations, the camera flashes.

It's not easy to have a life the way I do, fame seems good but it's difficult to handle. It's not just the workload, there's a void in me.

Peace, I don't know when I experienced it in the past six years. Meetings, new projects, being a tough competitor, all of this becomes hectic sometimes.

But what about me? What about my life? A personal one? To gain something, you got to lose a lot as well and somewhere, I did lose a lot of me. I miss myself, I am not the same anymore, I've got a lot of things to deal with unlike the other members, well they are my family now but what about the real one?

My mom isn't alive and dad, I haven't met him since long. Last time when I went home, he had a girl who was half his age and thinking about something like that makes me sick.

I wasn't there when my Mom was in an unhealthy state because I was busy being famous and now when I am popular, I don't have anyone to be happy for it, to wait for me back at home or listen to me.

Girlfriends, none of them can tolerate me. I am a busy person, the girl has to be patient and that doesn't happen and anyway.

I don't do the love story thing, a person like me can't! I am soft on the outside but I am not a boyfriend material, unlike Seokjin Hyung. I know I'll end up hurting them so it's better to stay away. Though the soft side of me is still there after mom left, I don't know myself much.

I drink because that's kind of my escape, from reality and I need it for a little while. Though I have a lot of fans, what about reality? Sometimes thinking about the question, "Will I be like this for the rest of my life?" scares me.

I just have a few friends, though I know a lot of people. After mom died, I forfeited myself. It's all about time I guess, I am not the same anymore but the new me isn't bad either. I've got money, fame, fans, a lot of it but, the void is still there. I wish I could get it out of me.

I was busy sitting in my room wherein my manager's assistant who's a pain to me. "You need to sign a few papers", he said while handing me some files.

I took a quick read the document when the assistant interrupted, "You are too talented, aren't you? But you know what, I wish you had a little control over your brain too, instead of arguing with the writers, I wish you did what they said."

I heard him whispering under his breath, "we'd get paid by today then." Maybe I'm friendly and that's the problem. They don't understand what respect is.

I got up from my chair questioning, "What did you say?" His mouth zipped. "What's your problem?", I asked as he replied too cunningly saying, "I just wished you had agreed to the new ideas in the project so I wouldn't have to do it all over again."

The ideas about the new album what these people came up with were trash. I am a part of the group and according to me, I didn't like it at all and I rejected it.

I raised my eyebrow giving him a sign to shut his mouth but he didn't and said, "Sign this soon, I need to leave as well." That annoyed me too much. I held his collar, balling my fists when Seokjin Hyung entered.

(Hyung- elder brother)

"Don't... Don't Namjoon... Leave him!," He requested by pulling me away asking me to relax.

Seokjin has been in my life since our first debut. I am thankful to have a man like him. He's always by my side as he's my best friend, my roommate, the one who's been my family ever since I lost mine.

I left the assistant jerking him away throwing the file while he quickly grabbed the entire thing and left. ,

"Calm down boy!," Hyung said, comforting me. That stupid man just spoilt my mood. I was not having the best time anyways and now this happens, I needed a drink.

"You okay?" Hyung asked as I picked my coat up, "Where are you going Joon?" He questioned, "I am fine Hyung, I'll come back soon," I replied leaving the office.

Trivia Dance Club and Bar!

Trivia club, the place where my career took a flight. It's was a great place before but now, it changed a bit. I lit a cigarette, it was freezing outside.

I needed peace and Trivia was the place that gave it to me, it is my happy place. I go there either when I am upset, too stressed or want to relive the moments I spent there when I was a kid, happy and full of life. I put on a coat, covered my face with a mask and drove off.

It was at about 11 pm when I reached the club. It was fully crowded. I went inside and stopped next to the bartender waving at him who was busy serving drinks. I lowered my mask so that the bartender, who has been there for a long time, my friend Zee could recognise me.

"Look who's here, Namjoon, the Rap Monster!" he exclaimed happily and hugged me. "How have you been? Where were you! Oh yeah how could I forget, you've become a star now, of course, you don't have time for us anymore!" he started to tease like he always does. "It ain't like that Zee. Come on, since I'm here today, get me the best drink!" I said as he got back finding a good one for me.

-

I was sitting on a chair. A few people dancing, smoking, having fun, girls with bikinis on the stage, it was fully crowded. This place did change a little. The interior has become beautiful and the rates have gone high but Trivia still holds a special place in my heart because this is where I started from and I never want to forget it.

Zee got me a drink. It was delicious, something fruity and refreshing.
"I asked you for alcohol," I laughed looking at Zee who served me a fruit punch."Let's drink something good for health sometimes!" he exclaimed and I didn't argue back since the drink wasn't bad enough.

I was busy sipping on my drink wherein my eyes stopped when a girl passed by, her lavender scent distracted me.

Short in height, chestnut hair that was left loose, bangs covering her face, her tight body-hugging clothes that gave a good sight of her curves, she was wearing a uniform, a shirt and tight black skirt, I was just looking at her but, "Am I checking her out?" I thought diverting my eyes.

"Who you looking at?" Zee asked, "You don't check out girls usually. I guess you're in a different mood tonight?" He smirked making me laugh.

"Pick any one you want! All of those girls work for money here, he pointed out at the girls dancing on the stage but I wasn't looking at them.

"You know I don't do all that," I defended myself."Try brother! It might release stress," he laughed and I rolled my eyes. "They'll give me stress," I said as Zee chuckled.

The girl I was looking at was busy working, serving drinks, taking orders, smiling, thanking people.

"Hey, Zee, who's that one?" I asked pointing out at the waitress. "Just as a normal waitress, she ain't a mistress. She just works here, serving, taking orders, that's it," he said. "She looks pretty young," I said. "Yeah, she couldn't even complete her graduation, she was kicked out because her mom didn't have money, her mom is a mistress though." He said pointing out at a woman dancing on the stage.

I waited for a little while but couldn't stop myself from asking more about her. "Park Jane. But you going to the wrong girl brother. She's quite shy she's working here because she needs money." He smiled continuing, "We got plenty here, take whoever you like." He got back to his work while my mind got stuck to that one woman who was around.

Jane's POV:-

I came back from the UK three weeks earlier and I've been working in the bar since then. It's not even a month yet, I haven't got any money. Why does this month feel so long?

Like every other night, the bar was overcrowded. I didn't get to relax even for a minute. I've been standing since evening and my legs have become numb but I can't stop.

My inner goddess cheering me up,
"Come on Jane. You need money! You got this."

From the day I started working, a lot of people came here, a lot of struggling dancers, actors, singers, rappers, they all had their shows but me, I was waiting for someone else.

The man who I adore, I miss his performances as I remember he used to scare even Elijah sir thus, win several the rap battles.

I have his picture with me always and a fan letter that I wrote for him when I was 16. I don't know where he is or maybe, he might be a successful rapper right now but someday, I hope he comes here.

The day he does, I'll be the first one to take his autograph, to give him this letter since I had a huge crush on him but just a few years back, he disappeared. I asked Troye but he said, he doesn't even remember who he was.

I understand I was a fan, not him and besides he wasn't popular at that time but maybe someday, he'll be.

I remember I wanted to get married to him when I was a teenager. I guess he was 5 years elder to me and that was the only reason I never met him backstage thinking he might not want to look at me since I was a kid with pimples and freckles all over my face.

I looked at his picture that I'd taken a print off from Facebook and after that, I didn't even find him on any social media. His stage name was Runch Randa. I don't even know his real identity. Maybe he wasn't as cool as other people coming here, but yes, he was talented and good looking. Just for him, every Friday I used to fight with mom to be here even though she never wanted me to.

*PRESENT DAY*

A lot of people were around but a woman's instincts told me that a man sitting at the right is staring at me.

He wasn't just checking me out, he was scanning me. I couldn't even see his face much, he had a mask on which only flashed his eyes and the blond-silver hair that flaunted beautifully. But it was creeping me out. Why is he looking at me like that?

All of a sudden Troye along with other girls exclaimed excitedly, "Damn, that man looks handsome and for tonight, Park Jane is the eye candy for the hottest guy in the bar."

I rolled my eyes. Troye has been my first friend here. He's sweet but gay. I wish he was straight, I would have loved to be with a caring one like him. I've told him this before but all he does is get shy and giggle thus, reject me in a kind manner.

"Want to give it a shot Troye?" I asked chuckling. "I wish I could but that man's gaze hasn't even moved a bit since he saw you," he said making me blush.

"I think he looks good, like those muscles, his intense dark gaze, his silver hair...," He kept speaking about that man so much that I feel like he Troye should try on him.

"I guess you should try on him," I advised as he frowned, "I wish, but he doesn't seem like he'd like me because he's already head over heels for you. Look at him, he's still staring at you," he said smirking.

I turned to look back and saw him glancing at me which was making me nervous. He was good looking, his trim physic, those muscles and his intense gaze were elegant. A lot of girls are looking at him. But why is he staring at me?

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A/N:-

Namjoon has just seen Jane, let's see what happens next💜✨❤️
Please do vote and comment ❤️✨
Until then
TC
-xoxoxo