May's POV

Nothing. That explains it all. I feel nothing at all. I really can't believe its Saturday.
Karen's funeral.
Although its been almost two days since she died, I still can't believe it.

Am sitting here on my bed waiting for her to just come into my room and laugh it off. I look at the door expecting her to come in and say "can you believe those people down stairs, me Karen Coker dead?, not in a thousand years"
Or tell me am having a nightmare.
The door opened, I was almost convinced that the lord has answered my prayers but was disappointed to see my eldest sister Summer walk into my room, she looked beautiful in her black gown which was decorated at the top with net which flaunt her brown hair.

"How're you holding up? " She asks as she sits on my bed.

"Am fine" I replied

"You're not"

"I am, am not even crying" I say in a duh tone

She sighs "that's the problem, you have been giving everyone the cold shoulder and that is unlike you"

"I don't know how to react, I still can't believe she's gone, I feel empty"

"I can't possibly understand what you are feeling, I wasn't as close to her as you were, you know how emotional she was and I don't think she wants you to be like this"

I move stand from the bed in anger " dead people don't want anything"

"May - "

I move to the bathroom silently requiring her to leave "I need to get prepared for the funeral "

"OK, let me go bring breakfast for you"

I call over my shoulder "thanks but am not hungry"

"come down when you are ready" she says and leaves my room

I increased the temperature of the water,I let the warm water run over my skin in hope of feeling anything but I don't, so I increase it and still feel nothing.

I hadn't been lying to Summer when I told her I was fine, I truly am fine. I feel fine, I don't even feel sad, I don't feel anything at all. Maybe that's the problem. I just feel numb.

I dry my skin with a towel and walk to my closet looking for anything appropriate to wear to a funeral

I don't even know what is appropriate for a funeral, geez I've never been to one before.

I decided to wear a black C-back top with a black jean with a pair of black flats.

I was already already leaving the room when I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror, geez I don't look like am going to a funeral. I rush to my closet and put on the black kimono Summer had given me for Christmas last year, thank God for Christmas.

The following event passed in a blur, I don't even remember how I got to the cemetery.

I look at the building opposite the cemetery and I sigh.

The next day was Sunday, my family is religious, well mostly my mother, she found her faith in Christ after my father left.

I remember how it or rather she was back then before she started going to church.

She was a full time house wife before my father left she stayed at home to take better care of us her children, she used to love staying home.

But after he left she stopped staying home "everywhere in this house reminds my of your father " she used to say, so she stopped coming home always spending her time at an inn where all she did was drink.

This went on for days until one day, she was rushed to the hospital for alcohol overdose,during her stay in hospital she was visited by the local pastor who preached to her and introduced her to Christ and the church which helped her a lot during the divorce, they even helped her get a job with her certificate as a banker.

Ever since then we always go to church.

Sunday meant going to church.
Not going to church in this house was not an option.

So I wake up early, take my bath, hell I even washed my hair which was rare cause I sometimes forget to wash it in a week.
And its not my fault, really, do have any idea how hard it is to wash a hair like mine. My blonde hair is natural sleek and straight and it sometimes feels like straws when am washing it, and I don't because of that enjoy washing it.

When I was dressed in a simple short sleeved dark blue gown that reaches my knees, I move to the mirror to brush my hair or try to, I give up and do my hair in a slightly rough bun and put a beautiful bow pin on my hair.

I know am already late for breakfast so I rush down to the dining room, my family, which consisted of my mum and my two sister,were already seated so I take my place by the side of the small square dining table.

My mum is sitting at the head of the table while Summer was opposite her and May and were sitting opposite each other.

I let out a sigh of relief as my mum said "Summer, say the grace", am not really in the mood to say the grace.

After the grace we ate in silence until April broke it

"Mom, can I take tomorrow off from school?"

"Can I also? " I ask not ready to get back to school

"No, am afraid not"

"Why can't we? " April asked

"Because you want to hide away from your problems"

"Am lost, what problem?" I ask with fake confusion

"Don't play dumb, whatever you are trying to avoid will still be there whenever you get back even if you take tomorrow off " Summer replied

"Your sister is right, its best to meet the problem head on" my mother supported

"Am not hiding away from my problem I just need a day for my self" I said

"Me too" April chimed in

" okay fine, just one day, do you need a day off Summer?, You could go back to college tomorrow evening instead of this evening." My mother inquired

"No,am good" she replied

"Are you really or are you just trying to keep up your perfect attendance?" April tries to provoke her

"April,stop that" my mother cautioned

"you could use a break from Hudson " I offered

"Thanks for your concern but am doing just fine and would love to keep up my perfect attendance for my college " she said with a smile

Which I believe is sincere because Summer is obsessed with perfect. Perfect hair, perfect grade, perfect smile, perfect outfit, perfect attendance, hell, she even has a perfect boyfriend, Hudson.

And she is really nice, way, way beneath the perfect everything. the only thing that isn't perfect about her is my mother being a divorcee.

"Its time for church" my mother reminded.

We went to church in my mother's Camry.
When we arrived the church was already in session so we took a sit at the back pew where we had the perfect view of the whole congregation.

I spotted Isabelle at the front row with her family and Alex at the third with her dad.

After the service I chatted with Izzy and Alex, I told them I wasn't going to be in school the next day and they didn't ask me why for which am grateful for.
They even promised to lend me their note , we talked some more and said our goodbyes.

When I went out side I realized my mom has left as usual. I saw Summer with her boyfriend Hudson, so I went to them.

"Hi Hudson " I greeted him

"Hey May" he replied

"What do you want? " Summer nicely asked

"Have you seen May? "

"Do I look like her nanny? " She unnecessarily snaps.

"Am just asking"

"Go ask someone else"

"Hudson,did you see her? " I ignored her

"Yeah, she left with your mom"

"Okay, thanks"

I walk away without even glancing at Summer and a little surprised by her behavior.

May never left church without me, something must have happened, well since she left,a lonely walk it is.

I was walking pass Carter's &co international the biggest company in oak town and also in the country when a voice called me

"May. May "

The voice was coming from the company, I look back but see no body I recognized so I continued walking

"May,wait up" called the voice

I look back and I finally see a figure I recognized running towards me. The figure is a few pace away when I realise it's Ben. I wait for him, when he finally reach me he was panting. After a while he speaks

"been calling you for a while "

"I know "

"Then why didn't you stop? "

"Didn't see who was calling "

After a moment of silence

"Let's sit here" he says as he took my hand and leads me to a bench under a shade close to the park.

"How was church? " he ask

"Its was okay"

Another silence

"Are you okay? " he ask

"I don't know" I surprise my self as I answer truthfully

"Do you want to go up my office?"

"Huh? " I ask totally confuse

"I work there" he says and points to Carter's &co

"Seriously?, Right. How could I forget?, You are Benjamin Carter."

"Is that a bad thing? " He ask a little unsure

I shrug "I don't know "

"OK, so do you want to go up, I could show you my office "

I shrug again "okay"

When we enter the building I was amazed and entranced by its beauty.

The outside of the building gave it a normal office impression but the inside is elegantly designed and decorated. We entered the building through a revolving door, the lobby is beautiful. We were greeted by a receptionist.

We enter a golden and clearly private elevator and Ben press for the highest floor.
We wait patiently in comfortable silence until the door slid open.

We enter a beautiful office with a mahogany office desk which had a lot of files and documents scattered on it. In the office there is also by the center a glass table surrounded by three couch.

"What do you think of my office?" Ben ask clearly and surprisingly "Is it to your liking? "

"Do you really need to ask that? " I reply in a duh tone

"Well most people think its too flashy"

I sit on the couch "Well luckily for you, I am not most people, it is truly beautiful, consider me impressed"

"Do you want to talk about it? " He ask as he takes a seat beside me

"About what? " I ask even though I clearly know what he is talking about

"Karen's death, talking about it might help"

"I don't know what to say" I sigh

"Why don't you start from the beginning,that might help. Tell me anything about her. How did you guys meet?"

"We met four years ago, when she first came to town, back then she was a single mother with two kids twin just like my mother, that was what first drew my mom to her, we treated her like family because she had none apart from her younger sister Kate. We were also there for her just like she was for us." I explain happy to talk about her as a person instead of her death to somebody

"I remember when her kids fell sick, geez, you should have seen her then she was worried sick" I give a nostalgic laugh

"We got closer over the years, hell,she even gave me my first sex education, I was closer to her, she was just like a second mother to me." I shock myself when I break down in tears.

Ben moves closer to me beside me and pulls me into his arms.

"I don't know what to do without her, I just can't believe it, I mean we made plans ,we already made plans for her birthday,I have even bought her a gift. So why ?, Why ?" I continue to sob fully in his arms

"Cry, cry it all out, you will feel better after" he says patting my back

And so I did. I cried, cried like the world was at end. I cried for my best friend I cried till there were no tears left to cry.

And true to what he said I felt better after crying for two hours. Even with my puffy red eyes.
I even felt a little better.

"I should get going " but I don't move away from his arms

"Yes, you should" he also didn't move

"Thank You "

"Its no problem "

I snuggle deeper into his arms "I really should get going"

"Yea, you should "

I reluctantly move away from his arms "I really should get going "

He sighs "Yeah, see you tomorrow"

I stand " I am not going to come to school tomorrow "

He also stands "why? do you need some more time to cope with it "

"No, I need time for my self."

"Okay" he escorts me into the elevator

"Thank you for today, talking about it made me feel better, that was the first time I have ever talked about it, that's also the first time I have cried since it happened "

"It was like that for me when my mom died" he said

"Oh, I didn't know that, am sorry"

"Its okay, it was long ago"

"But who was that lady that came for you on parent's night, I thought she's your mom"

He gives a fond smile "My step mom"

"You guys were so close I never would have suspected that she was your step mom "

Ding Dong.

The elevator slides open and we walk out

"I hear that a lot "

He escorts me like a gentleman to the lobby where we stop

"I would love to take you home but I still have many things to finish up" he says with regret

"Hey no problem,Its nothing, thanks a lot for today, it really helped me"

"Nah, it's nothing"

"But still thank you"

"Anytime you need me just tell me, I will be there to save the day ,no matter where you are. "

I nod with a smile " ok, I should get going so you can get back to work. Besides it's already late. Bye." I wave.

" Ok, bye" he also waves and watches as I turn to leave

I went home feeling a lot better than I have felt in a long time. I even feel happy. Maybe this is the start of a new beginning.

Another update.