A week later:

Once again he was adjusting back to his mundane schedule without Taehyun, typing away on his laptop while at work.

He sighed, leaning back on his chair and sipped his coffee. Everything around him seemed so dull and lacked color. Emptying his cup, he got up from his place to get a refill.

His mind wandered off thinking about what Taehyun would have been doing at that moment. He thought about what he'd said last before leaving; it was almost sundown. Deciding that he'd just finish the rest of the work tomorrow, he walked back into the balcony to look up at the sky; splashes of reds, oranges, and purple painted it beautiful. He watched as the colors were slowly swallowed up by the darkness of the night. The sudden ringing from his phone startled him.

That was the night Taehyun became one with the stars.

--

"This can't be!" The dark-haired male struggled in the arms of another male who was trying to hold him back from doing anything stupid.

The other boy; comparatively younger, looked at the two of them with tears threatening to fall from his own eyes. He stood next to Mrs. Kang who seemed just as broken as the struggling male but remained calm.

In one corner of the room, stood Yeonjun who had his hands folded in front of him, cap clasped in his hand. He'd first visited his mother then after making sure she had someone to take care of her, then came over to Taehyun and Beomgyu's house.

Soobin had called Beomgyu earlier to make sure he was okay; the anxiety from losing one friend even if Yeonjun had asked him not to as a military personnel.

Right from when Beomgyu heard Soobin's desperate voice, he knew there was something wrong. A pit formed in his stomach as the group entered his house with heads hung low.

Amidst it all, Officer Choi Yeonjun had the unfortunate responsibility to convey the news officially.

"I have been asked to inform you that your husband, Lieutenant Kang Taehyun has been reported dead in Ddong-gu, Daegu, South Korea at 2:14 am and 19th November 20xx. An unexpected encounter on the previous day with an avalanche that was reportedly set off by the enemies when they were traveling back to the boot camp had left three people injured including your husband. Unfortunately, he took the blow too hard. On the behalf of the Secretary of Defense, I extend to you and your family my deepest sympathy for your great loss."

Beomgyu did not take the news well.

The ring on his finger shook as he registered what the man had just said. It felt as if a heavy rock had been placed on his chest and his stomach formed an endless pit. Beomgyu wanted to throw up.

There was no way this was real. There was no way this was happening.

Maybe his senses were playing tricks on him; Soobin, Kai, Mrs. Kang, and Yeonjun were just a piece of his imagination. Maybe living alone for a long time had taken a toll on his mental health and now he was seeing things.

He pinched himself trying to wake himself up. Yet they all remained there staring at him with sorry expressions and eyes full of pity. He hated it. He needed to wake up. So he began pinching himself harder, twisting the skin until it turned red and sore. Soobin had to intervene.

Their hearts broke at the sight of the poor boy's plight, feeling helpless.

"Let's get you home. Soobin hyung will take care of the things here." Kai said to Mrs. Kang who'd begun shaking, crying silent tears at the loss of her son. The younger male looked at the officer who gave him a small nod.

"We won't be leaving either of them on their own, so you can rest assured."

The older of the two bowed slightly, "Thank you and I am so sorry for your loss, please take care."

"Yeonjun hyung, I know you're hurting more. Watching it all unfold before your eyes, I can't imagine how you must feel right now."

"Seeing those kids safe and sound, reuniting with their parents served enough ointment to the wound. Taehyun knew what he was doing when he decided to speed forward and take the hit. That was the sole reason the other men were able to catch the attackers. He did well." The oldest felt the walls around his heart slowly turn to dust as he let his emotions take over him. He gave him a pat on the back and left.

He felt his heart expand in pride knowing his close friends would do anything for their safety despite knowing how risky each action would be. Even if Taehyun could have slowed down by a little he could have avoided the attack but the enemies would have escaped within the split second.

Taehyun had overtaken the car with his own blocking them, taking the heavy blow of the avalanche saving the citizens.

Kai turned to Taehyun's mother, "Shall we?"

"It doesn't feel right..."

"Please don't worry, Soobin will stay here for him."

With hesitation, she finally agreed to leave and the duo left leaving behind a Beomgyu who'd used up all his strength causing him to fall on his knees and a heavily breathing Soobin.

"Beomgyu-"

"Shut up. This isn't real. He can't be. He promised me he'll come back." Even as Beomgyu said these words, they felt heavy on his tongue carrying false hope and desires. They didn't feel true to his ears.

Each passing second was his soul being ripped apart. Each moment he breathed was a luxury that he gave himself to see Taehyun for when he returned.

He snatched his closet open and pulled out a handful of Taehyun's clothes onto the bed. In this nightmare of reality, he felt each memory of the younger male slipping away from his fingers. He feared that one day everyone would end up telling him that a man called Kang Taehyun never existed.

How ridiculous. Why would they say Taehyun died?

Beomgyu changed into the other male's clothes; the peachy scent of Taehyun still lingered in the fabric.

The door of his room banged loud; it had been for the past fifteen minutes. Beomgyu ignored it.

"Beomgyu, please open the door. Don't try to do anything stupid."

"I am not. You guys are being ridiculous, I'm sure Taehyun is okay."

Soobin let out a sigh of relief at having finally gotten a response from the other and slid down; his back resting against the door. He didn't know how to talk to the younger boy to bring him out of his denial if he was going to lock himself in.

Days passed and Beomgyu still hadn't eaten a whole meal or drank water. Soobin and Kai grew worried at their friend's misery. They tried and tried to get him out of the room.

Heck, they even played videos of Taehyun in the living room to get him to sit with them but he didn't comply. Several close friends and family had come to meet him but Beomgyu shut everyone out - he didn't need anyone's sympathy.

What worried Soobin the most was that the boy hadn't shed a single drop of a tear ever since he'd heard the news. He would come out once in a while to use the bathroom and eat when the hunger got unbearable. But that was it.

That would be the only time they'd ever have the time to look at Beomgyu. He'd be quick to finish his business and locked himself in the room again.

Kai would try to run behind him and sit and talk about his day for hours right by the door, uncertain if Beomgyu heard anything at all. But it was worth a shot to make him realize the sense of normalcy once again.

The duo sat by the door each night expressing about all the moments they felt proud of Taehyun and how brave he was. But the dark-haired boy always blocked himself from accepting the reality.

Every attempt to talk to Beomgyu about Taehyun would be shut down by the boy slamming the door close on their faces and screaming out loud that he doesn't want to hear anything.

Beomgyu on the other side of the room felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach. Every morning he woke up felt like pushing a thousand bricks off of his body weighing him down. Hunger was nothing compared to the hollow he felt in his chest. There was something so significant missing in his life; something irreplaceable.

Why did Taehyun seem to be getting farther and farther away from him with each passing day?

It was as if Beomgyu's mind knew that what the other's said was true but his heart still refused to accept the fact. All the clothes that Taehyun owned lost his scent. There hadn't been a single update about Taehyun ever since he'd left.

Maybe it was true. Maybe what the others had said about him- no matter how hard it was to admit - was true.

Beomgyu felt the world crashing down on him as the realization slowly hit him. His chest tightened and his breaths became shallower.

Everything around him seemed to have blurred and disappeared. That was until a knock on the door pulled him back to his senses.

"Beomgyu, I am going out to buy some groceries. Kai will be staying back in case you need anything." Soobin stated, his patience still unwavering. However, he didn't wait too long for an answer, already too used to being answered by his silence.

The younger male grimaced in his place at the result of his past actions.

He realized he'd been causing nothing but unnecessary panic to those around him and he felt so sorry. All the problems he'd caused from being too stubborn - it wasn't his fault he never gave up, right?

What would have happened if Taehyun hadn't gone that day? Maybe if he'd been a bit more stubborn that day, he would have stayed.

But then the hundreds of lives that would have been lost if it was because of his selfishness would be more excruciating.

All of a sudden, a pang of guilt hit Beomgyu and his body recoiled on the floor. His nails dug deep into the palm on his hand. With a lack of oxygen in his lungs, he knocked a few times on the door of his room with the remaining strength he had in him before lying down facing the ceiling.

Maybe this was his punishment for being too selfish.

He closed his eyes, awaiting whatever that was destined for him unable to hear the loud banging on the door, the ringing in his ears deafening him.

His mind plays out all the memories he'd spent with Taehyun from the time he'd first met him in the library, the time when Taehyun finally confessed to him in a game of truth and dare to the moment when they moved in together in their shared apartment and Beomgyu proposed to him. The day they finally tied the knot was still fresh in his memory - he remembered how nervous Taehyun was despite seeming cool on the outside. Beomgyu's outside and inside were both a complete havoc that day.

All those intimate moments he'd shared with him played themselves in front of him as the tears streamed down his face. He smiled at his own words from that time when he'd asked Taehyun to look up at the sky whenever he felt too lonely. He would always watch the night sky with him.

Struggling, he slowly opened one of his eyes to look at the window- hoping he'd find the star he was looking for.

The darkness had enveloped itself at its most power that night. No city lights seemed to block his vision and the stars shone brighter than he'd ever seen them before.

Moonlight spread across the room. It felt weird.

The light kept growing; until it almost formed the shape of a human and Beomgyu lost it trying to let out a scream but it seemed as though his vocal cords had stopped vibrating.

'Is this really the end?' he thought.

The figure materialized itself into a man dressed in white and all his glory. A figure that Beomgyu knew all too well. His eyes widened in fear, shock, and surprise.

It was Taehyun. He was right there standing in front of him. Not believing his eyes, he blinked once, twice- he was still there.

He tried getting up from his place on the floor but it felt as if he'd lost control of his body. He couldn't move a single inch and stared on at the man he so dearly loved. His heart raced in the cavity of his chest in the span of a moment

The older male felt his breath stop right then and there under the gaze of the figure, the love of his life. It didn't have the scratches like the ones he'd seen at the funeral. His skin devoid of any marks, like a baby's - all pure.

Summoning the last of his strength he tried to speak, but it was too weak for anyone to hear. "T-tae-hyun..." he stuttered.

"Yes, Beomgyu-hyung. It's me." the figure said. Taehyun had an angelic smile etched on his face. "In case you're wondering, I am doing well, hyung. Though I don't feel any pain, it is a bit saddening I can't live with you right now."

His expression soon turned into one of solemn. "I did well, right?"

Like a cool breeze on a summer day, Beomgyu felt his emotions swirl through him. "Y-ou..." the tears didn't seem to be able to stop themselves from flowing. The usually hyper-energetic boy had now been reduced to a boy who almost forgot how to smile.

But this time, he felt a little of his old self return back to him; he smiled through the tears, slowly getting up and leaning on his hands for support. "You did well. You did so well, Hyun... I am very proud of you."

Despite all this, still Beomgyu couldn't believe his eyes. He was really standing before him. He must have gone insane.

A choked sob escaped Taehyun's lips. "It feels nice to hear that from you. I hope you're taking care of yourself just as you want me to be. I don't wanna see you starve yourself just because you can't have the food I cook, okay? Please try and stay strong for me, yeah. Just let me have this one selfish wish,"

Hot tears fell from Beomgyu's eyes as the reality finally crashed down on him at full force. His sobs became louder when he realized that he would most probably never see him ever again. Despite it all, he still nodded.

"That twinkling star is me and the one right beside it is you." he pointed at the sky, "When it gets hard, just look up at the night sky, I would be right there looking at you from the same sky. I am always going to be there with you in your heart."

The younger male came closer and the other felt that familiar warmth wash over him once again. He cupped his cheek one last time and placed a ghost of a kiss on his forehead; one that held trust and care, the one that signified the seal of a promise. Slowly, he began fading away into the moonlight, "I'll always love you, hyung."

Like a light switch had been flipped, Beomgyu's entire weight crashed down on his hands; his entire face wet with tears. "I love you too, Hyun-ah... so much. I promise I'll take care of myself while you're gone."

The hollow that had been eating him on the inside for days were now at peace upon knowing that the boy was in a better place.

A loud thud followed by the door breaking down and two males barging in took Beomgyu by surprise. "Beomgyu hyung!" Kai cried as he wrapped his arms around him crying on his shoulder. A worried-looking Soobin placed a careful hand on his cheek and forehead to check his temperature.

"Are you alright, Beomgyu?" he asked, a sense of relief washing over him at finally getting a response of any kind from the latter.

Stray tears cascaded down his face as he nodded, holding the youngest tighter for support. "I am so sorry for troubling and thank you guys for being there all the time."

Soobin didn't realize he'd been crying until a single tear rolled down his cheek. "We're happy you're okay, that's all that matters." He crouched down along with the other two and joined their bittersweet hug. "I am sure Taehyun misses you just as much as you do. He always loved you so much."

"It feels nicer to know from someone else," he whispered and finally smiled a genuine smile. 

fin.

this au was one hell of a ride aah, i am never writing mcd ever again after this. let me stick to fluff until my own heart heals. heh anyways i really hope you enjoyed this au just as much as i did writing it <3 

please leave comments and votes 🥺 don't be silent readers ilyy take care and stay safe