Can we first admire Logan's adam's apple?

Oh. And this is gonna be a serious chapter. Sorry. No jokes from them for a while.

Okay back to the story.

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"What happened, Ed?" Sidney asked with worry as I ended the phone call.

I took a deep breath. I just couldn't believe it. This day was supposed to be a memorable one. Memorable because of happy memories, and not because of the sad ones.

"She got into a car accident." I said in a voice so low I had a doubt she heard it.

But she did. "Oh my gosh. What happened?" I could hear worry in her voice, and I started wondering how worse I sounded.

"They won't give me details until I actually go there." I said, my heart still beating fast and my legs still shaking they could almost break.

"Then let's go!" She said and grabbed my wrist to drag me, but I didn't move. "Ed, we have to go there? Why are you not moving?" She asked with obvious confusion.

Why was I not moving? Wasn't I supposed to be running as fast I could to the hospital? Isn't that what I was supposed to do? "I'm scared." I honestly said.

Her eyes became soft on me, and there were hints on them that she was holding back her tears. The two of them were close. Even when I resented Cassandra, she was the one who tried convincing me to accept her as my mother. When I finally did, they became so close, as close and me and her mother was. She cared for her, and I knew how broken she felt inside that moment. Cassandra was like her mother too. "What are you scared of?" She asked in a soft voice.

I closed my eyes. "Of losing her." I honestly said. "I finally have a mom, Sid. I don't know what I'll do if I'll lose her too."

She stepped forward and hugged me. "I know this is hard for you." She said. "But she needs your right now, Ed. You have to be there with her."

...

"Cassandra Matthews." I told the nurse in the front desk.

I hated hospitals.

Hospitals were supposed to make you feel safe, and healthy, and strong. But instead, whenever I'm inside one, I feel trapped and scared. I didn't care if I looked weak, but I always hated injections and medicines.

One medicine was okay for me, but seeing like a whole plate of them made me me feel sicker than I already was. I once was hospitalized because of food poisoning back in third grade for eating this imported biscuit, and when I was in the hospital, I would always cry when they made me swallow all those medicines.

Dad wasn't there with me that time because he was too busy, and my mom already left us, so Sidney's mom was the one who was there to take care of me. She comforted and told me that the medicines will make me feel better. It did, but I still hated them. They were like another poison in my throat. Like a candy that was too old and dry, that was powdered and shaped into a medicine.

I never got hospitalized after that. I had to drink medicines or vitamins for my headaches sometimes, but at least I could bare them because the taste would just disappear with just one swallow.

After I got out of that hospital when I was a kid, I always prayed to never come back in one ever again. I always knew that it was impossible, but I never expected that my next hospital visit would be because of someone important to me is fighting for her life.

"Emergency room." The nurse said. She pointed at the hallway on our left. "Go straight there then turn right."

"Thank you." I said. On the way, I texted Dad. I didn't call him because I didn't want to hear his voice. A text message was enough.

Sidney and I paced towards the emergency room, and I could tell that we were both scared to know how she was. When we got there, the nurse wouldn't let us in because Cassandra was in a critical condition so the doctors prohibited any visitors. We were both stuck outside the room.

You were probably thinking that we looked like the ones on the movies where the patient's family wait outside the emergency room, crying, bawling and screaming. Nope. We were just sitting.

Sidney and I didn't talk though. We just stayed silent for two whole hours. I don't know how that happened but we just didn't talk. It's like both of us knew that talking would just lead to stories then crying then to screaming then everything would just get worse.

It was her who broke the silence after the two hours. "I'll get some coffee. Do you want some?" She asked me.

As his boy friend, I should've said that I should be the one buying and she should be the one sitting there waiting for the doctors. But that moment my mind was all about Cassandra that I forgot she was my girl friend.

"Frappe. You know the flavor." I said. She nodded and walked away.

I was there, alone, staring at the plain wall that was in front of me. I once thought that maybe the hospital should make their walls bright and colorful to at least make the patients happy. But that moment, I regretted that thought. The plain faded white walls were better. They were calming, relaxing, and much better than seeing butterflies in front of you when your family member is fighting for their lives.

While just sitting there, I felt that someone was looking at me. When I looked around, I saw little girl with red and puffy eyes staring at me. She looked like a seven year old, with long blonde curly hair and a sky blue dress. When she saw me looking at her, she came towards me and sat beside my seat.

You must've thought it was creepy and the she was an angel of death. Don't worry because I thought that too, but she wasn't.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. "What's your name?"

She turned to look at me in the eyes. They were pure sadness. "Emily." She told me. "My mom is a statue." She said in her innocent, little voice.

"What do you mean?" I asked her, confused.

She sniffed a cry. "She won't move. She's just in this bed with all these wires. I talked to her, but she wouldn't answer. I touched her hand, but she didn't held mine back. She always holds my hand back." She said and started crying. Looking at her innocent eyes made me wonder how many tears had she cried that day.

I stroked her hair with my hand to calm her down. I knew what she was talking about. Her mother was in a coma. "It's all gonna be okay. Don't worry." I said to her, but I even I wasn't so sure.

Then I thought, what if Cassandra would be the same? Alive, but dead. Breathing, but not moving. I couldn't possibly bare that.

"Do you think she can hear me?" She asked, still sniffing. "I've talked to her a lot. But she's not answering. Can she hear me?"

I wanted to say yes, that she can hear her. But I didn't want to lie and get her hopes up, even though I already did when I said that everything would be okay. "I'm not sure." I honestly said. "Just pray to God that you're mother can hear you and she'll return to normal."

She looked at me. "You think I should pray?" She asked and I nodded. "My mom and I used to pray everyday. Before and after meals. When we wake up and when we go to sleep."

I stroked her hair once again. "I think she'll be very happy if you pray for her." I said, and that moment, I knew it was true.

She hugged me with her little arms. "Thank you so much." She said and went running away.

Talking to her made me realize something. I haven't prayed for Cassandra yet.

While just sitting there, I closed my eyes and held my hands together. I took a deep breath. Then, I talked to him.

Dear God,

First of all, I'd like to say sorry for all the wrong things I have done. I am also sorry for not praying to you anymore, even though it was my practice when I was just a kid. I know you already know this, but I'm going to say it again. I used to blame you for my father's attitude and all the things he had done to me. But as time passed, I realized that it wasn't your fault. A person's attitude is not your fault but the person itself. A person decides what he/she will become.

Secondly, I'd like to thank you for everything you had blessed me. Thank you for giving me Sidney and her mom. They were the ones who made me realize that my world doesn't only revolve on my dad. Thank you for Sidney, because she was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. I can't thank you enough for giving me a person like her.

Also, thank you for Cassandra. All my life, I felt some emptiness inside me because my real mother left. When she came to my life, I threw her out. She didn't even do anything to me. Thank you for making me realize that she is your gift to me. The gift for the emptiness that I had felt.

And lastly, Dear God, I ask you to please heal Cassandra. With all the emptiness that I had felt, she somehow filled them. But it was just six months. I can't lose a mom again. Dear Lord, please please please, I am asking you, please heal Cassandra.

Amen.

I just sat there after that, not moving like a statue. But unlike Emily's mom, I wasn't in a coma. I can breathe, I can hear things, and I can definitely feel the pain.

For a second, I wished that I was in a coma. Maybe, at least, I wouldn't feel the pain.

Wouldn't that be great? Not feeling any pain at all? But then again, this is not utopia. We will feel pain, hurt and anger no matter what. Our lives aren't perfect, and we just have to learn to accept that, even though it's not the easiest thing to do.

Maybe my thought was wandering nowhere, because I only remembered that I was in the hospital when someone sat beside me. At first I though it was Sidney, but it was just my dad.

"What did the doctors say?" He asked, his voice raspy. He must've been crying, but it was too impossible for me to believe it.

I wanted spat at him and say, 'Ask them yourself', but I couldn't. "They're still in there trying to heal her." I said.

He didn't answer for a minute, and the atmosphere was too quiet that I could almost hear the lights flickering. It was awkward being silent with my dad. For years that I had lived with him, all he did was scream at me and tell me I'm worthless. Now that Cassandra is fighting for her life, maybe I really was worthless because I couldn't do anything about it. All I could do was sit there with my horrible dad doing absolutely nothing.

"Listen," he spoke up and I got startled. "I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier. I just had a meeting in short notice." He said.

I couldn't take it, so I scoffed and said, "It was better without you anyway."

He sighed and looked at me. For the first time in my life, I saw something in his eyes that wasn't anger and loathe. What I saw was... Hurt.

"Look!" He said. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked. "You don't look sorry." I said, annoyed.

He sighed and ran his finger through his hair. He then covered his face with his hands and then I heard the one sound I would never expect to hear from him. A sniff from crying.

"I can't lose her." He said. "I can't. I just can't."

I was supposed to comfort him, to say that I feel the same way, but I couldn't. My body wouldn't let me.

I felt my phone vibrate inside my pocket so I took it out and read the message. It was a message from Harry.

What he sent me was a picture

Of Sidney

Kissing Zach

I thought the pain I was feeling couldn't get any worse, but it did.

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I'm sorry 😁😁😁

The next chapter will be in two days, so stay tuned. 😉

Z.