Benjamin watched the waves lap against the hull of the privateer. The obsolete war vessel had been refitted, armed and a large crew recruited, much larger than a merchantman or naval vessel may carry.

Benjamin thought this his best option as these men cruised independently and generally tried to avoid encounters with warships unless the bounty appeared to be highly profitable which they seldom were. It would allow him to make the best time to the first port where he was instructed to speak with the Lieutenant and give him the Queen's instructions, that if they did not wish to fall out of favor, they were to never speak of the incident of the impressed men who were freed again.

He would have preferred to make his way straight to India but he knew the journey was arduous and they may be forced to make several stops to resupply or repair but he hoped not too many.

His only desire was to get to Fitton and find out what happened to her. He refused to believe she was gone. He just knew in his heart if Clara left this world he would somehow know, he'd feel it in his soul.

That still left many options.

She could have been discovered and left. She could have been saved and stayed on. She may have been dropped at a port because her injury was too severe. Still, he had to know, no matter what the outcome and if God willed it, and he did find her, he WILL bring her home. He vowed this to himself.

Never again would he let her go.

Brummell was against the idea. His parting words were, "Some things are best left undone." But the only thing undone was he. Benjamin could hardly sleep, or eat. He thought of little else. There was no moving on for him, he must have an answer.

The thought crept into his mind. What if he did find her and what if she still refused him? No! He could not think such things. It served no purpose. Until he hears it uttered from her lips it was only speculation.

Again he thought of the letter she wrote. The letter he still has not opened. He felt its presence daily sitting in his breast pocket. Taunting him. Teasing him. Reminding him of his cowardice. Still, he could not do it. He could not open it. He refused to subject himself to it. She wrote whatever she had under duress. Who knows how her mind or heart may feel now.

He wanted to believe, had they the opportunity to speak, that she would have never left. Perhaps she knew she too was weak and that is the reason she left him in this way. Knowing, should she see him, face to face, she would have never been able to break his heart.

"Land ho!" came the cry from the crow's nest.

The first port was within sight. It had been a month since he left England and finally, the first part of his journey was drawing near, and with every part completed he will find himself one step closer to her.

"We make for port, Benji!" said Captain McCullen the sea captain and privateer had come up behind him and patted his shoulder. "You seemed so deep in thought I figured you may not have heard."

Benjamin knew McCullen from his army days. He couldn't begin to express how thrilled he was to know who was captaining this vessel. As they approached they'd seen a navy warship, still undergoing repair. It had to be the Lieutenant's.

"Sorry, mate. A hazard of the profession," Benjamin replied.

"Ahh. You should have given all that up years ago and come with me to the open sea. No ties, no pressures, just the beauty of a million stars to take wherever you may wish to go."

Benjamin grinned. "You've missed your calling. You're a poet, not a pirate."

McCullen pretended to wince at the word pirate, making Benjamin laugh, it had been quite some time since he heard the sound escape his lips.

"I prefer a Privateer. I have my Letter of Marque and do not plan to swing from the hangman's noose anytime soon." To add weight to his words he rubbed his hand over his neck as if he could almost feel it tightening.

"A mercenary by any other name..."

Now it was McCullen's turn to laugh. "Well, my friend, we will be here but a day. So, deliver your message and be swift. I can not afford to wait."

"That I can manage as I do not wish to linger here. Far more important things await me elsewhere."

"Always the mysterious one."

"We all have our secrets."

"That we do, my friend. That we most certainly do."

Benjamin walked down the plank with the others from the crew who were sent for supplies. He wandered down the dock. The warship had painted in gold lettering "The Voyager".

If she dies I will hunt this ship down myself and send it to the bottom of the ocean. Benjamin shook the dark thought from his mind. He pulled out the letter with the Queen's seal and hailed one of the marines.

"You there. I have a message, from the Queen. I am to personally deliver it to Lieutenant Airey. Permission to come aboard?"

The Marine held up a hand and motioned another crew member over. He obviously was passing the message on. Benjamin had seen several sentries in place. After what took place, he could understand the Lieutenant taking precautions to see that his ship does not befall any further delays.

Soon enough the answer was given. "Permission granted," the marine said and Benjamin took the short walk up the plank.

He looked around for the officer but saw no one bearing a significant rank. The crewmember that delivered the message said, "Follow me."

He took Benjamin to the Lieutenant's quarters. He knocked on the door and was bid to enter. He opened the door and stood aside so Benjamin could pass him, then closed the door behind him.

Benjamin looked into the face of the man who shot his wife. If it wasn't for all his years of training and working for the crown he knew he'd kill him. He wouldn't think twice. Instead, he approached the Lieutenant's desk and calmly handed him the letter.

Lieutenant Airey snatched the letter from his hand. He flipped it over and seen the Queen's seal. He groaned aloud and tossed the letter aside.

Benjamin stared at the letter and then back at the Lieutenant.

"You've delivered your message. You may leave," the Lieutenant said, already moving on to something else he was working on as he sat at his desk.

"My orders, Sir. Were to be certain it was read and to get your confirmation that Her Majesty's request will be fulfilled."

"Look, messenger boy, I don't have time for the Queen's non-sense. I have a ship to staff, repair and get back in this war. The longer I stay in this port the more danger I run of my crew deserting me. Our forces need every ship they can get. People are dying every day and her Majesty's "request" is the least of my problems. Tell her Majesty I will make every effort to do as I am told. That should suffice."

Benjamin could not believe the insolence of this whelp. When he made no move to leave. Lieutenant Airey sighed. "For the love of all, that's Holy, leave my presence at once! You have what you came for."

Benjamin slammed his fist down on the desk.

"Her Majesty is not to be ignored and neither am I. You made a grave mistake Lieutenant underestimating those around you. I believe that is what caused this little problem you are dealing with, did it not?"

The Lieutenant looked enraged and opened his mouth to speak however snapped it shut again upon hearing Benjamin's next sentence.

"You underestimated Benjamin Claremont and where did that get you?"

"What do you know of this?" He sounded angered but Benjamin caught the sudden fear that flickered in his eyes.

"Read... the damn... letter," Benjamin instructed.

Airey stared down at the piece of paper and grabbed hold of it, ripping it open. His eyes scanned the contents. Benjamin read, so easily, the emotions that crossed the other man's features.

Anger. Fear. Disgust.

"After all, I have done. All I have sacrificed. She dares to ask me this?!"

"Choose your words and your battles more carefully, Lieutenant," Benjamin warned.

"That... that mute set fire to my ship! He lost me a serviceable crew! My only comfort comes from the fact that he lay dead at the bottom of the plank after I shot him!"

Benjamin smiled a most wicked grin. "By serviceable did you mean slaves?" So, she is pretending not to speak, smart Clara... very smart. She remembered.

"He is not dead by the way. He has, in fact, been cleared of all charges of possible treason to the crown. He is a hero. And should you pursue any action against him or Redgrave or his crew, you will be hung for treason, of that you can be certain. You've meddled in matters you should not. Now you must pay the price."

"What do you know? You're just some hired hand, some messenger boy, whose parents paid some handsome price to keep you out of the war."

"I was made Captain in His Majesty's army. A Tenth Royal Hussar. I guarded our King, but make no mistake, my military experience goes far beyond that. You WILL write your response, Sir. And if I were you, I'd be certain to choose my words carefully."

With a sweep of his hand, Airey cleared his desk, pulled out a new piece of parchment and wrote his response. He scattered the setting powder and handed the paper to Benjamin.

Benjamin scanned the contents and handed it back to the Lieutenant, satisfied.

He folded the paper and sealed it.

Benjamin took the letter and stuck it in his pocket.

"Why do you care so much for this boy? Is he a relation of yours?" the Lieutenant asked.

"That is no business of yours."

"It was a clean shot. I'd seen him roll down the plank. He did not get up on his feet again. He had to be carried away. He set the whole thing up. He's the traitor. Not me! IF he survived, it would be a miracle," the Lieutenant sneered.

Benjamin was about to walk away but suddenly turned back. His tone ominous, his look deadly, "You'd best pray, Lieutenant that you're wrong. For if I discover him dead, you will be wishing you had joined him."

The look in Benjamin's eyes told the Lieutenant that he spoke the truth. He backed away and his hand rested casually on his gun that lay primed and ready on his desk. "Not today, Lieutenant Airey, but I pray you are not on borrowed time."

Benjamin took his leave and boarded the Black Star. He locked away the letter from the Lieutenant in case it was needed. He lay in his hammock and wondered.

"Clara, where are you? Wherever you are... I wish you well. I love you."

____

Captain McCullen found Benjamin lying in his cabin staring at the ceiling. "You're back early."

"I told you my business in port would be brief."

"So everything is settled then?"

"As settled as it is going to be... for now."

"Why do I get the feeling this mission is more personal than you are letting on?"

Benjamin's eyes drifted from the ceiling to rest on McCullen's face. His look alone spoke volumes. McCullen held his gaze. "Can I assist in any way?"

"Yes. If you truly wish to help me, get this vessel adrift again. Time now is my only enemy."

McCullen nodded and left him in peace.

It was a few hours before they left the port and were back to the open ocean. Benjamin reached topside. Night had fallen, the night was cloudy and it suited his mood. He came to stand next to the McCullen at the helm. He said not a word and leaned on the rail. He wished he could command the winds.

"It's a woman."

"Excuse me?" Benjamin asked startled out of his revelry.

"The only thing that could torture a man to the extent that you seem to be tortured is a woman."

Benjamin grinned at this. "Very intuitive of you."

McCullen smirked and offered Benjamin the helm. Benjamin took it grateful to have something other than Clara to occupy his thoughts. "Sirens the lot of them in my opinion. Nothing will drown a man in misery faster," McCullen, said leaning on the rail as he watched his friend take a masterful command of the ship.

"Possibly... but what a way to die," Benjamin countered.

"This life does suit you, Benji. When you first came aboard you looked close to death and now the ocean air has breathed life back into your sails. Certain you don't want to forget your woes and not return? I'd be happy to tell your superiors that you were lost at sea."

"Tempting as that offer is, once again I must decline."

McCullen let out a slow whistle. "She must be a real treasure."

Benjamin suddenly clammed up and didn't say a thing.

"I see how it is. Don't wish to share with the privateer."

"I could spin you a yarn that would have you entranced, I just don't know if it's worth the effort. It won't change a thing. To me at this moment she is lost and I am as lost without her."

"Careful there Benji that smacks of love, and I will agree that there is no greater force. Not even the oceans can compare but we are men of action. Love is not our lot in life."

Benjamin frowned. "I had it. I took it for granted. I truly believed it would always be waiting for me. That she would always be there waiting for me, but now..."

"Let me guess, she cut your strings and ran off with another man?"

"No."

"Odd. That's usually how the story of these princesses go that are left alone too long."

"She's no princess. She is a Queen among women."

McCullen smirked, "Oh you are in deep my friend. She has her hooks in you and you need to shake them loose."

"What if I do not wish to be let off the hook? What if I wish to stay captured?"

McCullen shrugged, "It appears she has already thrown you back, my friend. What else are you to do?"

Benjamin did not know what to say. He hoped Clara did not wish to let him go, yet isn't that what she had done already.

"Tell me about her," McCullen encouraged.

"She has eyes the color of the clearest skies, and hair dark as the sea at night, and skin as luminescent as the moon."

"She sounds like a goddess."

Benjamin laughed, "One that should not be crossed. To invoke her temper is to call down the wrath of the heavens."

"She sounds perfect for you."

"She is."

"So, you are well suited. You were in love. She did not leave you for another. What went wrong?"

"I tried too hard to keep her safe. To keep our worlds separate. I didn't want her spoiled by what I know, what I've seen, my experiences, but our worlds collided and resulted in her being forever ruined, tainted and it's all my fault."

"How so?"

"Like you said. We are men of action. Love is not our lot. I was a fool to try."

"You would have been a bigger fool not too."

This was not the response Benjamin expected.

"Look Benji. I have been all over the world. I have sailed the seven seas. I never even seen nor heard of such a woman. You have found your soul mate. You have discovered your other half. I confess if I found such a treasure, I'd be tempted to give all this up, for that would be a far greater adventure."

"You get me to India. I may have a chance to get her back."

"I get you India, you get your love?"

"If the fates are kind, yes?"

"You know I love a good challenge."

McCullen was good to his word. He kept his ship going both day and night. When they could have engaged he refused, promising his crew they would have plenty of opportunity on the return trip, but now they were on official royal business.

Benjamin knew he was already a month behind her. There would be no making up that time. But he hoped the letter the Queen sent to the port at Cape Hope or India would find them.

That Lord Fitton would stay put when he reached India so he could find him. He prayed each day that Clara lived and that she'd stay with Fitton as his valet. He was desperate to see her again. He thought of little else.