Chapter Forty-four
The men inside the room reacted with a start. The doors flew open, Benjamin cocked his gun aiming at the intruder wondering who the hell...
"Clara?" The single word came out a breathless whisper.
Tears sprung to Clara's eyes. She could not believe Benjamin stood a mere few feet in front of her. She nodded her head yes.
Benjamin tossed the gun to Lord Fitton who fumbled the dang thing, praying all the while it would accidentally go off as Benjamin rushed to Clara who now seemed incapable of moving another inch. Her bravado had left her as she watched Benjamin advance towards her.
"Clara, my God!" Benjamin's hand grabbed hold of her face. "It's you! You're here!"
"I'm here," Clara replied, holding his hands in place with her own.
Benjamin let out a half laugh and half sob when he said, "You always did know how to make an entrance."
Clara could stand it no longer. Her hands reached up to the nape of his neck and she pulled him oh so willingly towards her. She claimed his lips as he claimed hers, months of torment had finally come to an end. Benjamin's arms wrapped possessively around her body pulling her so close there was not a hair's breadth between them.
Clara melted into him. She never wanted him to let go ever again. She knew from this moment she could not withstand the idea. She needed him like she needed air to breathe.
"Ahem!" came from somewhere off in the distance and was dutifully ignored by the couple that for them the rest of the world had ceased to exist.
"AHEM!" Lord Fitton spoke louder, and Benjamin sighed and pulled away only slightly to reply with, "Don't make me regret not shooting you, Fitton. It would be a pity to have things end that way."
Clara's eyes went wide. "Shoot him! Why ever would you do that?!"
In response, Benjamin pulled her left hand to his lips, placing a light kiss upon it before pulling off Lord Fitton's ring. "Tsk, Tsk, my Dove but this does not belong to you." He slipped the ring from her finger. He pulled from his vest, her ring, and placed it back where it belonged.
Clara colored at the reminder that she was playing the part of another man's wife. "I...I would have never... you must know... let me explain."
Benjamin shook his head no. "There is no need. Fitton has explained everything to me, and I am most grateful to him for taking such good care of you in my stead."
He turned to Fitton and held out his signet ring. "Yours, I believe?"
"Yes," Lord Fitton said taking back the ring and handing Benjamin his gun, which Benjamin promptly disarmed.
"How did you get here, Clara? The carriages had stopped ages ago," Lord Fitton asked.
"Sturgis and I snuck out, grabbed some horse, and rode... Oh! Sturgis!" Clara ran to the window and waved to the anxious boy below. "It's okay, Sturgis. They're here!" she hollered down to him.
Sturgis nodded. "That's great but do you think someone might be so kind as to let me in. I'd prefer to enter the more conventional way."
Clara giggled. "Of course." She looked back at the two men in the room. Lord Fitton smiled at her. "I should not be surprised you pulled off this feat yet..." He shook his head. "I will go fetch him and give you both some time ... alone."
Clara ran over to him and threw her arms around Aaron's neck. "Thank you, Aaron! Thank you for everything!"
Lord Fitton looked suddenly awkward as he pulled her arms from his neck. "Let's not test your husband's patience with me, Clara."
Clara looked back at Benjamin standing there looking stoic and she waved him off. "I find no fault with you so he can not either."
"I know it's polite to say the Lady is always right but in this matter, I would have to say you are most definitely in the wrong."
"Fitton!"
Aaron's head shot up at the sound of his name. Benjamin tossed him a set of keys and Aaron caught them in his hand. "Go! Collect the boy. You have your own room. We can discuss the rest of what is to be done tomorrow."
Lord Fitton nodded and opened the door. "Until tomorrow."
Clara smiled a breathtaking smile at him. Happiness seemed to radiate off of her in waves. "Tell Sturgis, thank you and I'll see him in the morning."
"I will, Clara." With those parting words, Clara shut the door and turned to face her husband.
"What did he tell you?"
"Everything."
"Everything?"
"A man like Fitton, Clara is very detail-oriented and when a gun is held to his head with his life hanging in the balance, he tends to not leave any of them out, almost to an excruciating degree."
Clara tried not to smile at the image it conjured in her mind but knowing both men as well as she did it was impossible and Benjamin found it infuriating. He stormed up to her.
"You find all this so amusing, Clara? Do you have any idea the torture you put me through these last seven months? Seven months, Clara! Not knowing where you were. If you were lost with the ship that never resurfaced or worse, dead from the wounds you suffered at the hands of the Lieutenant. I've been going mad, Clara, and all you can do, is stand there and smile at me?"
He held her by her upper arms and shook her hard as he spoke but she could not stop smiling.
"I'm sorry, but you described how I have felt every time you walked out our door. Most times I had no idea where you were going when you'd return, if... you'd return."
Clara's statement struck him and struck him hard. He never once did he stop to think this is how she felt whenever he had to leave her. To know he was continuously putting her through such anguish and yet she remained by his side regardless of knowing the outcome, pained him. She was not in the position to pursue has he was, it was a hard pill to swallow.
"And at this moment I don't give a damn about any of that. I'm just... happy that you're here."
Her hands came up to cup his cheeks, drawing his attention back to her. Clara lowered Benjamin's head to kiss his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks, even the tip of his nose. His breath came out rushed as she caressed his face with kisses.
"You're impossible," he muttered.
"It would appear so." Clara refused to deny it. She knew she put them both through hell, but she could not apologize for taking the risk.
"Did you ever consider what it would do to me to lose you?" Benjamin asked resting his forehead against hers.
"You already did. You may not have noticed but I was lost way before I took to the sea, Benjamin. I was broken. The woman you loved, the woman you cherished vanished long before the day I stepped aboard the Whispering Wind."
"I know. And I know I am to blame."
"No," she told him, "This was not your fault. You gave me all you had to give. I wanted more. I needed to become whole again. I needed to remind myself who I really am and..." She thought briefly of Redgrave's parting words to her... "just how powerful I can be."
"Clara...I..."
"Shh, my love. There is no need for shame or sadness. Not anymore. We are together now and I promise I will never, ever leave your side again."
Those words were like a balm to his wounded heart. He could take it no longer. He pulled her close to him he claimed what she offered. Her lips, so warm and inviting. Her kiss, so sweet and intoxicating.
Her hands made short work of the buttons of his vest and shirt. He chuckled slightly when his hands strove to do the same. "I'm not used to having to undress a man," he whispered against her lips.
She laughed. "Really? Do you not undress every day?"
She had him there, but she helped him anyway. Garment after garment was discarded as they made their way to the bed and he pressed her gently upon it. Standing back a moment to appreciate the beauty he saw before him.
"God, you are beautiful!" His gaze was filled with such heat, such passion she swore she could feel the warmth of it on her skin. His features contorted into a frown as his gaze fell upon her scarred arm.
It must have been when where the bullet hit. It was such a jagged, angry-looking thing, but not even that could mare her perfection in his eyes. When Clara noticed where his attention was drawn, her other hand came up to cover it but Benjamin pushed it away.
"You are perfect," he knelt over her and kissed her scar, "even with your imperfections."
Clara traced with her fingertips the various scars Benjamin had received in battle. She understood what he meant instantly. Each of those scars, was a badge of honor, of bravery, of a battle fought and won. Not to be hidden but celebrated.
She lifted her head slightly to kiss a scar on his chest and he sucked in his breath as her lips touched his skin. Emboldened by his reaction she pushed lightly on his shoulder pushing him over onto the bed to take a more dominant position over him.
She traced and kissed every mark, every scar, and Benjamin closed his eyes against the pain and wonder her kisses caused. How does she do it? How does she make him feel like a most cherished possession? To wish nothing more than to surrender to her care?
His eyes opened and her gaze fell upon him and he was undone. "I...I love you. More than it feels one heart is capable of holding for another."
Clara ran her hands across the bare skin of his chest. "That's always been your problem, Benjamin. You always hold back, thinking that somehow the love you feel is limited or could possibly run out. It can't. It's infinite. It can not be contained and you are foolish for trying, give in, surrender, give me all you have to give and I will show you there is so much more to come."
Benjamin grabbed her shoulders and rolled her over on the bed. He saw the love that she spoke of shining in her eyes and wanted it, all of it, all of her and he took it as he took her body and soul.
Benjamin poured himself into her, yet he would not stop until he brought her pleasure. He wished nothing more than to hear her call out his name and when she did, he collapsed upon her, crushing her under his weight and Clara relished the feel of him on top of her and inside of her.
She knew this is where she belonged and whatever the future held she would resolve herself to it because a life without Benjamin was something she swore she would never endure again. She held his face in her palms and kissed his lips, slow and promising in that kiss all that lay within her heart.
"Never again, will I leave you. No matter what the future holds in store, or how many times it must take you from me. I want you to know I will always be right where you last kissed me goodbye, waiting for you to return."
Benjamin's heart constricted in his chest at her words, she was his, and she always was and always will be.
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