noun ~ a feeling of intense longing for something

POLLUX

"So, what made you work in a coffee shop?" I wondered, catching Clover's attention.

"It's my coffee shop," Clover admitted. "I opened it myself."

"That explains the lack of money," I laughed. "When did you do that?"

"About a year ago now. I finished school and wanted to do something, but I didn't want to leave because..."

"You were scared." I finished, shrugging.

"Yeah," They breathed. "Anyway, the store became available not long after I inherited some money from my late grandfather. I took it as a sign, whether from my grandfather himself or from fate, if you believe in that kind of stuff."

"Fate is real," I shrugged. "Everything happens for a reason."

"I never believed that until this happened. I felt so lost and then... peace." They sighed, staring up at a large tree. "Where are you taking me?"

"It's not so far," I pointed north. "A little further. Still got those clunky boots on?"

"How's the wet socks doing?" They quipped.

"Damp," I grinned, and Clover laughed. "What made you choose coffee?"

"I enjoy meeting people," Clover shrugged. "You can meet many people in a coffee and tea room. Everyone loves to talk over a hot drink and pastry."

"That is a good sales pitch," I teased. "Do you ever think you will branch out?"

"I'm in a three-year lease on the building," they shrugged. "So not anytime soon. I quite like Arleybay."

"What about your family? Do they support you?"

That strange thing inside of me came to life again when Clover's shoulders sagged. Clover's mood had shifted so strongly. I couldn't help but notice the reservation.

"My family doesn't live here anymore," they admitted. "They moved away when I was fifteen and I am the only one here. I lived with my grandfather until he passed."

"Oh, I'm sorry." I apologised. "What was he like?"

"A good man, for his age." Clover laughed softly. "He always supported me when my family didn't."

"Why didn't they?"

"You ask a lot of questions, Pollux." Clover stated, eyeing me.

I grinned innocently. "I need to gather my facts."

"What for?"

"Secret."

"Oh god, you are going to murder me aren't you?" Clover grunted. "I knew it. The moment an attractive guy shows interested in me, they were a murderer."

"Attractive guy, huh?" I teased, and Clover scoffed. "I am not a murderer. I have never killed a person."

"That is an odd admittance, but makes me feel a little better." Clover grinned. "But to answer your question, my parents did not agree with my choices."

"Choices?"

"I identify as neither gender," Clover admitted after some hesitance. "They couldn't accept the changes I wanted to make or the lifestyle I wanted."

Frowning, I came to a stop to observe them. "So they tell you not to go on adventures, and then tell you not to be yourself? Sounds like a shitty parent."

"They're not bad people," Clover grimaced. "They just struggle to understand."

"Even so, you are their child." I pointed out.

They sighed. "It's hard sometimes, living in a place like this. Most people address you as you appear, you know?"

"I actually do," I agreed. "I have been called a girl frequently."

"Well, you are awfully pretty."

"Why thank you, Clover. And you are rather adorable."

"Adorable?" they squeaked. "That's all you got for me?"

"Well, if I dropped all of my compliments in one night, I would run out for the rest of the month."

"So, you are staying a month now?" They grinned.

"Maybe, maybe not." I shrugged. "The world is my oyster, Clover. I am just a person living in it."

"How do you even afford it?"

"The money I'd spend on lodging and bills in a settlement is about the same as the money I spend on hotels and food." I shrugged. "No technology, no place to call home. It's just me and the world."

"Sounds lonely," Clover muttered.

"It can be at the time," I agreed. "That's when I move on, and if you look closely, you can see I have not been mauled by a bear or fox yet."

"Or wolf," they smirked.

My lips twitched, amused. "Or wolf."

Clover sighed, finally looking around. "Where have you taken me, anyway?"

"Have you never been up here?"

"Not allowed in the woods, remember?" They deadpanned.

"Of course," I mused. "Turn around, Clover."

Clover narrowed their eyes. "Don't push me."

"You have little faith in me, Clover. If you were to fall, I would jump right down after you."

I heard their heart hammer in their chest and failed to hide my grin. Clover turned, inhaling sharply at the view. We had timed it rather well. The night sky was still so bright and full of stars. I had hoped to catch the sunset, but that passed about an hour ago.

"That's beautiful," Clover mumbled, staring across the bay. "How did you find this place?"

"I found it because I looked." I sighed, leaning against a tree. "You don't find things like this without searching for them."

"That's rather poetic." Clover quirked an eyebrow.

"I am a poetic man," I teased.

"Can we stay here for a little while?"

"Of course, I wasn't going to just ditch you here." I laughed.

Clover smiled softly, turning to look back at the bay. They sighed, shoulders sagging as they too leaned against a thick tree. The leaves covered our view from above, but the incline of the small hillside gave us the best view of the bay and ocean in the distance.

Time passed by slowly, until I noticed Clover shift more often than before, and their heart to increase in speed. I turned to them, waiting for the question they desired to ask.

"Pollux?"

I hummed a yes, levelling my eyes with Clover.

"Why do you travel alone?"

"I have nobody to travel with," I shrugged.

"No family?"

"I am... adopted." I winced. "The woman who raised me found me in a terrible state. She and her daughter became my family."

"Oh, I'm sorry... Where are they now? Do they stay in touch?"

"Whenever I am open to their calls," I smirked, remembering the messages Gaia would send me.

"I am surprised she lets you travel so much,"

"Gaia isn't strict. She never told me what I couldn't do."

"Gaia?" Clover couldn't help but giggle. "As in earth, right?"

"Suiting, no?" I mused.

"Well, I mean... yeah. To raise someone like you, it does fit rather well." Clover laughed. "And your sister?"

"Raven, she is... strange," I shrugged. "She is a few years older than me and found a place for herself among some... unusual people."

"Is she safe?"

"She claims so."

"You don't believe her?"

"Would you believe a hoard of wolves or a cute, fluffy puppy?"

"A puppy," Clover nodded.

I shrugged in response. "Raven can handle herself. She is strong."

"You are wise for your age."

"How I grew up, you have to be. To be in a world like this, at least." I admitted.

"I think you are growing on me, Pollux." Clover sighed. "You are going to have to come home with me?"

"Is that an invitation, I hear?" I grinned, taking a step closer.

"For dinner, yes." Clover placed a hand on my chest.

I laughed. "I can settle for dinner."

Clover blushed, dropping their eyes. "Let's go? I'm cold."

"I'm hungry, so deal." I grinned, and they laughed.

PRESENT TIME

Staring down at the beef stew in my bowl, I couldn't help but be reminded of that first night I spent with Clover. After taking them to look over the bay, we had bowls of stew and crusty bread whilst sat on their sofa. I remember the room being bright; the sofa was yellow and walls were blue and white stripes. Sailor-y. Clover had really turned such small space into one of so much life. And plants. They loved plants. I think I counted twenty-seven in the lounge.

That was the night my feelings for Clover grew. Before, it had been a niggling little feeling, but the weeks that followed turned into something greater. Clover had wormed their way into my life, and I soon fell into step with their rhythm.

I stayed in Arleybay for a year, but unfortunately for me, not all good things ended on a happily ever after. I still remember the hurt in my heart as I gazed into Clover's teary eyes, the ache in my stomach that told me I would never be back. How could I come back? Arleybay was no longer my home. I didn't belong there.

So, I kept on travelling.

I went as far as I could without sleep before crashing in a human hotel about forty miles south from there. That was when I got into trouble, and got arrested for the first time. But that was a story for another day.

Right now, I was staring down at the brown soupy bowl with a frown.

"Is it okay, Pollux? Do you not like it?" Nova wondered.

My head darted up, meeting my twin's eyes. "No! It's great. I'm just not feeling hungry anymore."

"Something on your mind?" Phoenix wondered before swallowing a large mouthful of bread.

"Something like that," I admitted.

"You can tell us anything, you know, Pollux." Nova's voice was a gentle command.

"I know, sis, I just... think about a lot of things lately."

"Such as?"

"It's nothing." I shook my head and rose from the table. "I should get going, it's nearly six-

"It's barely six. Sit down, there's no rush." Phoenix shook his head. "It's not our bedtime yet."

I faux smiled at his joke, ignoring the way it made me feel. "It's okay-

"We won't press you anymore, Pollux. I can see you are not comfortable." Nova frowned.

"No, it's not you. I was just remembering something that happened a few years ago, and it's just made unwanted emotions surge." I explained. "There's a lot going on around here lately that it's making me just think too much about my past."

Nova smiled sadly, understanding me somehow. She was good at that; realising when to stop asking and to start feeling.

"It's okay," she mumbled. "I feel like that too, sometimes."

I smiled up at her before glancing back down to the table. Dinner resumed as normal, and I picked at the bread on my side plate. Once finished, I apologised for not eating and Nova snorted through a mouthful, telling me she will eat it herself later. The twins were a week old now, but their appetite never seized and it seemed to transfer onto Nova; she was constantly snacking.

"Have you asked your parents about babysitting?" I asked as we settled down on the sofa.

The twins had stirred and Nova was feeding them tandem on the sofa. "I have."

"And?" I probed, watching Phoenix tidy up the kitchen.

She chewed her lip. "They're taking them tomorrow morning."

My eyes snapped down to her. "That's good, right?"

"I guess," she muttered.

"Nothing bad is going to happen," I reassured her. "I will pop in for you, say I forgot something."

"You would do that?" Her eyes widened.

"Of course, I am here most of the time. It's an easy lie." I laughed.

"Thank you," she breathed.

I smiled in return and grabbed the television remote to put on something to distract my mind. After a mere ten minutes, Nova's eyes drooped, and I knew it was a good chance to escape. Phoenix had found me a small cabin house away from the pack house, giving me my own sanctuary, and I was keen to get back to it. I have only been living there for since the twin's births and I already loved my space so much.

"I'm going to get off," I mumbled.

Nova stirred, eyes snapping open with surprise. "Want Phoenix to walk you home?"

Phoenix's head popped up from behind the kitchen island, where he slowly rose to his full height, cleaning products in hand. I sucked in my lower lip, shaking my head at my sister.

"Thanks, but I can walk home."

"It's dark..."

"Nova, I am a wolf. I can see in the dark."

Her green eyes were wide, and I knew she was trying to see if she could get me alone with Phoenix. It was her plan to make me talk, and I knew she would not give up. When Phoenix placed the cloth on the side and walked closer, I knew I had already lost.

"I want to talk with you, anyway." He stated.

"Of course," I muttered.

He chuckled, sliding on his boots as I pulled on my jacket. Saying goodbye to my sister and the twins, Phoenix opened the door and gestured me through. I shivered slightly at the cool breeze, glad I had a coat. I chose not to comment on Phoenix's lack of outerwear; the man running a hundred thousand degrees in a t-shirt.

Making my way down the invisible path to my house, I buried my hands deep in my pockets. "What did she want you to corner me about this time?"

Phoenix laughed softly, falling into step beside me. "Dinner."

I cursed softly. "I thought I got away with that."

"Don't be so daft," He mused. "She won't drop anything."

Sighing, I shook my head. "There's not a lot to say."

"I am sure there is. You were about to cry into your gravy." He nudged me playfully.

Grunting, I stared at the ground. "I'm okay, honest."

"You can tell me whatever you want," Phoenix hinted.

My jaw flexed as I debated speaking my mind. It would get them both off my back, but at the same time, I enjoyed having Clover and my past as a little secret.

"Before Nova shifted, I travelled the country." I began. "I never stayed anywhere long, barely more than a week, but in one town that changed."

Phoenix remained silent, and when I snuck a look at him, he was staring ahead with his hands in his pockets.

"I met somebody that made me want to stay, and sometimes, when the entire world is moving on in their lives, I find myself stuck in the past." Frowning, I explained. "I wonder what would happen if things didn't end up the way they did. Would I too have a mate?"

He hesitated before answering. "I understand."

"You do?"

He shrugged. "The past is a hard thing to overcome. You can be beside yourself thinking about the what-ifs and the could-be's, but the fact is, you cannot change it. You can't go back in time and fix something as much as you can go into the future and make it happen."

I hummed an agreement, seeing my homely cabin come into view. "That is true..."

Stopping at my porch, Phoenix didn't venture up the stairs. I turned at my front door, looking down at him awkwardly.

"Thanks for walking me home, I guess." I mumbled.

"It's alright," He chuckled. "Nova will be fast asleep by now."

"I will pop round after breakfast, if that is still happening."

"It is," He nodded. "But you don't have to. I can just spy through the mind link."

I laughed with him, before saying my goodnights and entering my house. I noticed Phoenix hovered until my door was shut and I flickered the side light on, embracing the smell of my new home. The front door led straight into the living area, the kitchen toward the back, much like the cabin I grew up in. My bedroom and bathroom were to the right, along with a spare room opposite that held an empty bed.

Sinking into my sofa, I pinched my eyes closed and sighed. I wondered for a moment what it would be like if I had someone to walk me home every night, someone I could kiss goodbye...

Someone like Clover.

Question of the Day:
Do you have a favourite place to eat out?