noun ~ denial of the truth or validity of something

POLLUX

I didn't stay in the café long after the odd encounter with Lilith. I drank my coffee with my sunglasses on, keeping myself to myself as I gulped the scorching liquid.

Lilith.

Clover.

Who was who? Who was she? Who was they? Who was I?

Where was I?

Why am I here?

Why did I bother?

It's been years. Clover must be gone. Lilith must just be their clone to replace the space missing in the café.

That was it.

That was the only explanation.

I'd have to stay a few more days just to make sure no one locked Clover up in a cellar somewhere.

Perhaps this Lilith did a Phoenix. Clover was being held accountable for something. Maybe they've been in questioning the past four years after our fight?

No, now I was being stupid.

Sighing, I walked down the rocky road toward a familiar bench. My lips quirked as I eyed it, remembering it as the one I often sat on with Clover to people-watch. The wood groaned softly as I sat and I sighed, staring down the street. It was a couple of hours until sunset, but I needed a moment to get my thoughts together.

When distressed, my gift acted out and I had to breathe deeply to rein it in. My head fell into my hands, propped up by my elbows. I groaned softly, removing my hat to scratch at my scalp with frustration.

Why did I come back here?

I cursed softly.

I don't know anymore.

Perhaps a part of me hoped to see Clover and everything else the way it was. That I could enter Arleybay without repercussions, as though nothing bad ever happened.

I was naïve and stupid.

Clover... Lilith was different. They looked the same, smelled the same, but yet... didn't.

Sighing, I rose from the bench and walked towards the woods.

***

The next day, I was hesitant to go back into town. I wandered the trees for a while, even passing a hiking couple. They had stared at me in shock, but I merely greeted them softly and kept walking. My gift strained, so I let it out to double check, but thankfully they were just surprised and not filled with loathing.

Was I walking the wrong way up the trail?

Or was it perhaps my lack of walking sticks up such rocky terrain? Did my Converse shoes not look good enough?

I snorted a laugh, pulling myself up a large rock face. I was on the front of a mountain, I think, and there was a lot of upper arm strength. Thankfully, I had a wolf, and he was strong enough to counteract my slight frame.

He grunted at me as I reached the top and sat down. The mountain was large, but from up here you could see the entire town below and even the ones in the distance. I sighed, dangling my feet off the edge and staring out at the landscape. I took a few pictures and sent them to Nova, who replied with a few emojis before explaining she was busy working and would talk soon.

I wondered how Charlie was keeping. The days were drawing nearer, with only four to go before the full moon. Calida's life would soon change forever, if she even survived it. Of course, it was not the first time a lycan turned a human. There would be no werewolf lineage if it didn't happen. Nova was a third generation lycan female; a strong blooded, royally mated lycan. Plus, Phoenix inherited the magic of Abelia Hala herself; mine and Nova's grandmother.

Hala; the most connected to the moon.

Although his mother was not the firstborn, Phoenix was strong. His father was a powerful alpha, which probably helped. But where his mother raised him with love and affection, his father ruled with an iron fist. I sure hoped that didn't affect Phoenix's judgement. His protectiveness for his pups was borderline insane, and I hoped Calida's shifting didn't trigger him.

She was a nice girl. It would be a shame if Phoenix had to kill her.

I spent most of my time lost in my thoughts before I grew hungry. Glancing at the time, it surprised me to find it was past lunchtime. I debated going back to camp and retrieving the rest of my snacks, but I was too hungry for stupid nuts and health bars.

Inhaling, I found I was alone up here. I could hear other animals, but no humans. Which was good. I only needed a few moments and my cover would stay secret.

I searched my surroundings with my ever prevalent eagle eye, before finding a small hole in the rock large enough to hide my clothes and shoes. Thankfully; Converse shoes were flexible, and the moment my belongings were secure, I shifted into my wolf.

He groaned, stretching out his paws. He was hungry for a chase, and with an eager flick of his ears, we searched for lunch. There was a large expanse of land up here, with plenty of burrows and grass for prey animals. I left him to it, falling to the background as he hunted and filled his stomach. It would benefit me when I came to; what he ate, I did.

It wasn't long before he was tucking into a mountain bunny or two, huffing as he gnawed around the fluff.

They sure were fluffy up here; probably adapted to the chillier air.

It was humorous, though, watching the wolf try to pry tiny tufts of bunny hair from his canines.

When finished, he gave me my body back, knowing it was too risky, and I quickly scampered to the hole I hid my clothes. Thankfully, it was all there, and nobody had even come up this far. I shuddered once fully dressed, eager to be back down away from the harsh breeze.

It was lovely weather yesterday. Hot, sure, humid, sure, but at least there wasn't a damn gale-force wind.

Palming the grey rock, I scaled back down the mountains. My movements were calculated and skilful, each one of my steps careful to prevent injury. Last thing I wanted was to break a bone when I only had one vial of Nova's blood to heal it.

How stupid were we lycan, though?

Magic blood, but couldn't heal our own damn bodies. I could catch a cold and die of hypothermia if given the chance!

The Moon Goddess was both cruel and clever; knowing when to stop in fear of someone being too powerful. Nova always called it Yin and Yang, and it oddly made sense. Our magic blood turned the blood of a werewolf and gave them self-healing blood, and a beast to protect it.

Blown every direction possible, I was grateful when I finally made it to the trees. Although the lack of density was annoying, it was better than the mountainside. I eased my pace, knowing I had all the time in the world to go about my day. Perhaps I should go for a swim again? Actually, would the wind make it freezing?

I could deal with cold water, but not freezing temperatures. I feared my nipples, fuck, even my penis, would fall off.

Completely out of my surroundings, I didn't hear the quick procession of footsteps until they were before me. The two of us startled, their heavy footsteps scraping into the earth. My eyes widened as I recognised the person immediately, and she huffed out a loud breath.

"Goodness! I'm sorry, I had headphones in. I didn't hear anyone coming!"

Lilith.

I forced a smile as she pulled out one wireless headphones, smiling apologetically at me. I awkwardly made sure my hat was still on and covering my hair, glad I took my sunglasses with me.

"Windy today, isn't it?" She chimed. "I enjoy running up here. Good for the ol' lungs."

I awkwardly laughed. "Yeah, it is."

Her head cocked. "Hey, you came into my café last night."

I scratched at my cheek, avoiding direct eye contact with the clone. "Yeah, that's me."

"You found this trail pretty well." She pointed out, still breathing heavy. "Few people come this way."

"Not a lot of people, including you?"

Her eyes narrowed with humour, lips quirking. "Me and a few others. Someone showed it to me a while ago. I used to be scared to go into the forest, but I find it... refreshing now."

I would know; I showed her it.

But it was because she didn't feel safe then. I showed her the entire woods every chance I got to remove her fear. But with the hunters back in Arleybay, she must feel safer more than ever.

"I better get going." She glanced at her phone. "I have twenty minutes left! Bye, stranger!"

I didn't respond, watching her replace her earphone and continue running.

Who even was she?

Lilith, Clover, a runner?

Clover despised exercise. They said if God wanted them to be fit, he wouldn't give them asthma.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I decided to head into town now I knew Lilith wasn't in the coffee store. Admittedly, I was avoiding her, but my body craved sugar. My brain refused to acknowledge that the similarities between the two of them were alarmingly obvious.

My feet padded softly over the cobblestones, the wind blowing my hat so much that I had to secure it to my head with my hand. The coffee door swung open with minimal force, and I cursed softly as I nearly let go.

There was a larger queue today, which surprised me as much as the five o'clock queue did. It was nearly three in the afternoon!

Once it was my turn, I ordered my usual with a jam doughnut. It looked delicious, and freshly baked today, too. My total cost was white noise to my ears, my eyes locked in on the sugary goodness before me.

Goddess, I sounded like Nova.

I ate casually this time, happily snacking as I gazed out at the blustering trees. They were swinging wildly. How something could withstand the intense wind was impressive.

The bell continued to chime with every passing customer. I stayed longer, sipping on my coffee as I scrolled through my phone. I even picked up a conversation with Nova on the phone, who was home after another day surveying packs. They were not supposed to do it for another week, but they were trying to keep Charlie distracted.

His wolf, if provoked, could be feral, and somehow, Nova calmed him.

Perhaps in another lifetime, or another universe, they knew each other. It was cute to think about how Nova has built a lot of platonic bonds within her pack.

This time when the bell chimed, I glanced up at the light laughter. My coffee long gone, I hesitated with my cup in my hand. After hanging up with Nova, I was going to get another coffee to go, but now...

Lilith entered, her hair slightly damp but her expression cheerful. She hugged the person who served me with a broad grin, asking about her day. Trust the owner to come in on their day off.

Lilith's eyes scanned the café, settling on the last few stragglers and dirty tables. When her eyes came my way, I quickly dipped my head down.

I suppose the second coffee could wait.

Clearing my throat, I looked around. Lilith was clearing a booth at the opposite end, which meant this was my time to escape. I rose from my table and awkwardly carried my cup and plate toward the till. Hoping for the other till staff to take it, a light voice startled me instead.

"I'll take it from you!" Clov-Lilith's voice chirped behind me. "You made it through the forest, I see."

Was she flirting with me?

Or just being overly humorous?

Either way, I ignored it and passed her the crockery without touching her. "Yes, thank you."

Leaving without another word, I pretended I didn't feel the confusion coming from her. Cursing my gift's unkept attitude, I entered the blustering street. Before I could even get a few feet into the road, a large gust of wind took my hat. My curses turned vulgar, and I attempted to chase it for a moment before giving up.

If it didn't get too far, I could hunt it down when the wind dies down. Hopefully, it gets stuck somewhere.

Groaning, I looked around and found I was back near the bench from yesterday. Sitting in the centre, my head fell backwards. Staring up at the sky, I glared at the clouds that threatened me with rain.

It was June. Go away!

You could tell it was windy by how bloody fast they were going. It hurt my eyes trying to focus on a single one.

I did not envy birds today.

Imagine trying to get your dinner, or get a good rest, only for a fucking puff of air to knock you to the floor or throw you into the mountainside.

Shaking my head, I closed my eyes and opened my senses. My gift was uncontrollable here, and Lilith's appearance wasn't helping. She was too similar, yet too different.

I refused to accept it.

Lilith wasn't Clover.

Clover wasn't Lilith.

Exhaling, I knew I wouldn't be able to stay here any longer. Both on this bench, and in Arleybay. I have lost my hat and could blow my cover. Plus, it was too triggering. There was nothing for me here anymore, so why was I still here?